WHEN THE DAM BURSTS

… or is it possible to drown in your own tears?

Any of us, who have lived with chronic pain, whether it is a new guest or an old one, know what it is to cry. Leakage is often uncontrollable, at least from the eyes. I think I’ll leave the other forms of leakage for another time, just so I don’t gross you out; although I really don’t mind doing that on occasion. This whole medical world can be almost as fierce as a Halloween movie and a lot more frightening. The movies are just that, celluloid, tape, discs, at least I think it used to be celluloid, now I’m sure it’s all computerized, but you and I are not. We are just flesh of all degrees of deterioration and we have built in alarms. We can only take so much and when that limit is exceeded by its depth or its duration, BONG!

 

Have you ever noticed how differently we each cry? Some weep loudly wailing, others softly and quietly while a few of us seem to have run dry long ago. Crying is a strange phenomenon in so many ways. We cry when we’re happy, sad, in pain or hurt for a million reasons. We cry when our hearts spill over with grief or we can also shed that salty moisture when we laugh uncontrollably and we’re lucky if tears are all that leaks when laughing that hard. I have been known to get the giggles when I’m exhausted. So often my daughter and I can get into fits of giggling when fatigued and faced with an overwhelmingly silly situation. It feels so good to laugh like that. It’s as relief-giving as crying and probably just as cathartic.

 

Some cultures throughout history have considered paid weepers as part of funerals while other cultures have a party and drink -fest when they are grieving due to the death of a loved one.

 

Personally, I like crying and consider it very healthy. I don’t do it as often as I once did. I think I’m just tired of it after twenty-five- years of pain but there are times when the dam bursts. As most of you know, we have had a summer around the Wood household that has included construction, destruction, fire, stripping…of the painting variety, road construction, electrical shocks and flooding. In the midst of all this “joy” I had a compression fracture in the middle of my back which compiled my list to about 16items on my daily list of physical complaints, while “training” a new pup. Yesterday I saw and was seen by my rheumatologist who is 80 miles from where I live which makes for a less than desirable amount of sitting on my derriere which constantly hurts. It’s a long trip there and home again.

 

We decided our new pup was too small and insecure to be left alone all day in his kennel so we took him with us. Guess what? Dear little guy suffers from motion sickness and vomited on me on the way in to the appointment. My husband drove in his usual breakneck speed so my painful cervical spine was acting up by the time we arrived thus a headache to go with the odor of vomit. I found one towel in the car and had a bottle of seltzer. You’ve heard of a spit bath? Well, this was more of a spritz bath. Needless to say, it was quite a trip, and that was just the first part. You can bet we bought Dramamine for the little guy for the trip home. If you remember, last week I told you my daughter and granddaughter suffer from motion sickness as do I. I also confided my son calls his sister Barfy and now her little daughter is called Barfy, Jr. Yesterday she told me in her best seven-year-old manner, “Well, Georgie fits right into this family. I think we’ll have to call him Barfy Barky.” Well, it’s a thought.

 

I was my rheumatologist’s last appointment of the day and I had a lot to tell her. She graciously spent an hour with me as I caught her up to speed on all the stressors of my summer.We discussed the many approaches to osteoporosis furthered along by my rare disease, relapsing polychondritis. It’s a rather disturbing picture for me after already going through 25 years of destruction to realize I undoubtedly have more trouble heading down the plank right at me and after my summer, I guess it was just enough to tip the scales. I started to cry and I surprised myself. The doctor was very understanding and said, “Goodness, after everything you’ve been through, don’t worry about it,” as she handed me a box of tissues.

 

I actually am convinced that we are all human pressure cookers and when the pressure builds up, the grief and loss tips the scales and our hearts can’t hold anymore, we pop. I definitely heard a BONG!

 

Living with pain everyday can wear you down like a log that is having its heart carved out. Yes, we end up a finely fashioned canoe but all of that hollowing out hurts. Life carves us up, spits us out, chews us to the core then steps back to see what we’ve turned into. I love intricately woven rugs and tapestries. When you look at them reversed or from the back side, they are strangely confusing and ugly. When you turn them over to view the plan, the work and the artistry involved, they are remarkable to behold.

 

Perhaps we are being woven into something beautiful, even if it does feel like crap at the time of the weaving  or carving. We often need to give ourselves permission to cry, to wail and to rebel. I find I often cry when I’m angry. It comes out as tears when I probably should be ripping into some fellow human being, but I am far too civilized to rip. Guess I’ll have to work on that. Guess I’ll add it to the list of all the other things I need to do every day. No, scratch that. I think I rip into others quite well enough already. I think it’s often just pure rage that pours out of my eyes. Rage at the pain that is every present. Rage at life for cheating me and rage at this wretched disease. I think it’s okay to feel that way. Crying is so much more civilized than going berserk, isn’t it?

 

Tears can also be a remarkable blessing. I often think they are a spillover lubricant for our feelings, emotions and yes, joys. We cry at weddings, happy endings and blessed events. We cry over Hallmark cards and friendships, beautiful landscapes as well as a thousand other amazing surprises life brings our way.

 

Are we overly emotional because we deal with daily pain? Probably. Do we feel more deeply because of our suffering? I think so. Does our loss make the surplus of life more precious? Definitely. So what are we crying about? It’s a lot of work to balance those scales but we must continue to try or we are without hope and the days of our lives are lost, flooded away by the pain. There is a time to cry and a time to “dry it up.” There is a time to face the possibilities that lay ahead of us and a time to kick, scream “OUCH!” and do the chore that lies before us. One day, one action, one minute of hope can give us courage.

 

 

91 thoughts on “WHEN THE DAM BURSTS

  1. Before the arthritis, bursitis and all the other trappings of growing older I very seldom cried. Now it comes on suddenly and as far as I can tell mostly from frustration, Like you say “Bong ” when things just pile on and you just can’t take any more then the tears start to flow. Thanks for once again voicing what I am feeling. It helps to know that others understand and that I am not alone. Janet

  2. Janet, you definitely aren’t alone. When the floodgates open, I think they must. I cried all the way home from Portland two days ago and couldn’t seem to stop. So many of the realities that I have to face with so many joints, skin, gut hit me when I heard them vocalized by the doctor. I also don’t do well when people feel sorry for me..it breaks me down. I’m used to being the caregiver, not the one who needs the care. It’s not comfortable for me. I, like you, pull out and life goes on but these recesses into sorrow must be or we will really burst, don’t you think?
    Are you getting all ready for winter? We’re having so much fog it’s keeping everything wet this week and I do want to stain a wooden bench on the porch. Need a bit of sun out here. Thinking of you, Love, Sue

    • Your comment about being the caregiver hit home. I am not a nurse, but was the caregiver for both my parents and both of my husbands parents and then my husband. I have always found it difficult to either ask for or just receive help. That’s where the frustration is coming from, for the first time in my life since I was a child I need help. There are things I just can’t do anymore and it drives me crazy. I have always been easy going, but now I find myself getting angry and I mean really angry, ergo the tears.
      We had a couple of days in the high 60s, but back to 80 yesterday and today. Still a lot cooler then it was just a few weeks ago. Also been getting some much needed rain.
      You have had such a miserable time this summer I hope and pray things will get better for you. Your house looks lovely and it is nice all those things have been fixed. Stay off that sitter for a day or 2, give it a rest. Love, Janet

      • Janet, I know. That is often the source of my frustration. The rheumy the other day was feeling sorry for me and I hate that. It’s kind but it makes me feel helpless and I rarely feel helpless. I guess it made me realize how much I’m always losing, month by month. You know me…I try to count all I can still do, not what I can’t because that’s too sad. It is what it is and I’m still alive. I don’t like to be treated like an invalid. I just like to see it as a challenge and figure out what will make it tolerable, will help or how I can manage a situation. I don’t really have time to grieve for the old me but once in awhile it comes popping through. Prayers dear lady…Sue

    • Chris I got an email thanking me for sending you the pics since you aren’t on FB. Glad you finally got through to us. Sounds like some problems with your Ipad. Your poor man has had such a wretched time with his B/P. Jim has also and there are times I wonder just how good the hypertension drugs are. It seems the side effects are worse and it takes careful monitoring. My but you’ve been doing so much with your Dad as well. This whole growing old business is definitely not for sissies, is it? I do hope you’re getting in some rest for yourself. Fondly, Sue

  3. I have always considered crying “exlax” for the brain. I spent time a few weeks ago sobbing my self sick over Pow and her medical issues (my senior sheltie). Nessie (my service golden) crawled into the bed with me and stayed all night despite the discomfort of her and I smashed into the twin sized hospital bed. Pow is doing well now and I’m feeling better after a rather impressive respiratory infection that prevented 2 missed doses of methotrexate has essentially cleared. I’m not up to singing yet but am content with my dogs around me. We’ve had snow over the past 24 hours with some sticking on the ground but I don’t mind now that I don’t have to bobsled to work anymore.

    • Bobsled, I found this entry this morning..looks like we’re out of the woods on some of your entries and hope that’s it for any problems for you entering remarks. I’ve always enjoyed your stories about your dogs and your twin bed. Glad you are better and also share your immense relief about not having to slide into work in your winter weather. Now, I’m going to look for other lost entries on here..Love, Sue

    • Happy59, Is it possible you posted those comments on last week’s blog because some of yours turned up there yesterday. It would be an understandable error. I hope you are still enjoying the hope of the new plans with a doctor who cares. Of course,it’s discouraging to try new treatments but it sure as heck beats doing nothing, right? Sue

      • Yes you are totally right Sue. I was having a moment yesterday when I wrote that long comment. Guess I was feeling sorry for myself. Got over that, now back on track once more. Thank you.
        Love you big
        XXX

  4. I think this one will likely hit home with everyone, Sue. Crying is such a primal way of expressing so many emotions. Your rheumy is right; you’ve had every reason lately to cry. I’d be surprised if at least one tear hadn’t escaped long the way. (Understatement.) Been making some adjustments here due to things I can’t do or can’t do as well anymore, too. It is a bitter pill when you are just used to doing. Of course, I still try to do some of those things when I’m feeling better only to be reminded in no uncertain terms what a BAD idea that was. Part of the learning curve, I suppose. I hope you are enjoying some rest and down time since that long and eventful ride. Not the best way to discover little George gets car sick. I hope he’s recouping, too, although I’m quite sure he has bounced right back and is up to his antics, entertaining all. I imagine that wasn’t the best trip for your dear DH, either. He probably handled the barfing better than the tears. So hard for many guys when we gals cry. They do like to fix things and in this case there is certainly not much he can do. He can give you the injections… he might relish that for other reasons some days, though, so I might think about that one if I were you. 😉 I hope your dear man’s own recovery is continuing to progress well – both the recent and his knee replacement. Sending you both prayers and hugs.

    Hugs and prayers for everyone else here, too. Happy Friday and have a great weekend! It is dramatically cooler here lately, just like Tonie (we often get similar weather). I and my body would prefer a more gradual cooling, but I seem to attract furry lap covers throughout the day which help keep me warm. 🙂

    • Lyn dear, i hope others identify with my words and experiences, after all that is why I lay myself open every week…to share what other writers rarely share. I was explaining what I do here to my rheumy. I told her there are millions of web words about medicine and conditions, but few who talk about it the way it really is. Yes, Jim is doing very well both kidney stone and knee have gone well. He’s back to working far too much and is always washing the cars. He’s obsessed with clean cars and with all the dust around here with the construction lot across the street..it’s getting nuts. I sometimes have to turn on my windshield wipers just to see out and these are cars that have been washed every weekend for two months. I am startled by how much dirt is inside the house on all surfaces and the other day they were breaking up the sidewalks and my eyes were killing me. Sjogren’s Syndrome dry eyes attracts cement dust and dirt, even staying inside. Yuk. Nothing to do but to live with what we can and clean when I have a bit of less pain and energy. Slow going I’ll tell you.
      I love your stories about your furry lap pads. My furry lap pad has indeed recovered from his trip and is lightning quick but fortunately, he’s like a small child and need his naps. I love those naps for my own sake.
      I think each of us travel our own way but also know there are certain things and experiences we all share. That sharing is so important. Have a good, relaxing and enjoyable weekend. Love, Sue

  5. Oh my, I am a bawl bucket !! Always have been a very emotional person. Tears of joy, sadness, sympathy and just because. I don’t cry as much for me if I can help it cause it really brings me down worse. ANd I agree Sue, when someone is kind to me or feels sorry for me, I will cry and cry and I hate that. I feel so weak and I am not used to doing that. It is so difficult to realize you cannot do things you used to do. Lyn is right, you start in and get going and realize you are so WRONG. By the time you finish, you know you will NEVER do that again. Everyone in the area is asking me about using wood this year, and when I tell them I am not able to do it, well that look they give you like “WELL”. That makes you want to cry.
    I do think we are like that pressure cooker. Most women are good at letting it out. Most men aren’t. My mother always said that was why we lived longer and men had more heart attacks. Stress. Today with SNOW greeting me on the doorstep, I understand why I have been feeling so crappy. My bum is killing me so I am still lying here under my blankie on the heating pad. I gotta bite the bullet and go out and feed the birds and cat.
    Many prayers for you Sue, my dear friend. God is on His throne and always there to help.
    Janet, good to see you on here. Suzanne, no worries about the crying and writing. Do that quite a bit myself. Chris, just write it again. I hate that though.
    Love to you all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, Snow, huh? All the more reason to get onto those heater/propane folks to help you out. You should use the old I’m disabled card. It just happens to be true. Life just keeps dragging us on doesn’t it? Duties, responsibilities, loved one, four and two legged. I know it’s the way the Lord has of nudging us along when we don’t want to be nudged but I agree with you and Lyn, I often do too much but don’t really regret it because it needed to be done and there was no one else to do it. As long as I don’t break something, tear something else or end up in the hospital…some of it must be done. I know now why so many elderly or disabled move into smaller living quarters. Jim and I both like our privacy too much to give in. I am constantly finding ways to compromise, do it easier, cut corners and sometimes just tolerate it.
      How is Judy doing? Isn’t her knee surgery coming up soon…in early Nov.? Hope Ms Alice is doing well..your ladysitting duty. I know you’ve grown fond of her and her family and they you…not at all hard to believe. Hope the weekend doesn’t get too cold for you to tolerate. Time to pull out all the warm winter clothes. Love you, Sue

      • Sue-ness ! It is COLD today, down to 20′ last night. The yard is full of green leaves that fell overnight 🙂 I JUST went out to feed at 10:30, frost was thick and is still out. Judy has a bad sinus infection that they are trying to get cleared up before her surgery on the 5th. Ms Alice is fine, depressed cause her house isn’t selling and she wants to contribute to her upkeep. I think that will make her feel better to have a little cash of her own. I agree with the doing what needs, I am relieved not to have the big house and yard to take care of now, it wouldn’t be done. I rested all day yesterday and so today I have to get some work done. I have to get the sewing machine doing and finish up the pillows for the Bazaar and start on the jewelry I am making for it. I cut some holly for a wreath and will post it online later. Carol and I are gonna get some wreaths made and online pics to make to order as well. Christmas is gonna be here before we know it yes ??
        Hope you are recupping sweet lady. And I know ole stubborn dh is getting on with it. Have the kids considered another pet yet ?? I bet the kitty has really been getting some love of late.
        Well off to do something constructive.
        Love
        Tonie

  6. Well
    What a day so far
    dH has severe head pain on these bp tabs so called dr ansd he is to come off them.another type down the swanie ,no more to try!
    Sue..do hope you are better today,what a rotten day for you..rotten few mths for you..perhaps things will pick up along with the house and road.not so much to do for you.i do hope so.it seems impossible to think so much can have gone wrong
    Tonie
    Good heavens you said snow too. You keep warm. Sounds cosy wrapped up there. We are to have that storm that’s around Mexico on about Monday,so they are saying.it will be the tail end of it I suppose.but wind warnings are out for it
    My dad a bit vague.they are discussing him comming out on Tuesday
    I’ve had the dr talking to for DH. Parkinson’s nurse for dad. ward for dad! And two other phone calls about dad
    It’s been a medical morning!
    Have to type over this side as the follow sign won’t move and I can’t see
    What I am typing under it.dont know how it’ll appear when I post it.i have to
    Press the sign a couple of times for it to go and then it tells me I am posting to
    Quickly and the message disappears all together
    However I see now the follow square is above the post sign so should be ok
    Lyn
    How is SB now?
    Back lata Chris

    • Chris:
      Sorry your poor dh has so much prob finding a bp pill to work.There are so many of them out there he has to find one soon. Maybe they can back to an older one and try it. Sometimes the older meds that have been around a while will work better. You are a good daughter. I watch Fran with Ms Alice and I find that kind of love and care is rare these days. Reminds me of you. Ms Alice is trying to sell her home in New Jersey. She wants to give some money over for her “keep” but doesn’t have it. I keep telling her she will feel better when she has her own money. It is hard to keep going on the good graces of others. God is good and we are all so blessed to have each other to talk to and learn from. Be good to yourself dear.
      Love
      Tonie

  7. I feel I need to cry, but there are so many around me now who would say, “No, just grin and bear it,” or “It’s just life.” Well, yes, but that attitude denies me to freedom to grieve and feel and pout about what chronic illness has done to MY life. There’s no affirmation that this is a legitimate sorrow, and that my life has been changed and harmed. Do you know what I am trying to say? I just wish people would let me be real, and understand the grief.

    ~ Thanks for listening ~

    • Trish, it’s been awhile. Please forgive me because I just found this today. You are completely right. We need to grieve, shout, feel and weep for what we have lost. If we don’t we are just bottled up explosions waiting to go off. I’m here to listen anytime. The first entry on the new blog has stalled for a few..please let me know how you’re doing. Sue

      • Trish:
        Crying really helps me, You know I have gotten to where I don’t care what others tell me they THINK I should do. It is me who knows what makes me feel better.
        Please go and post on the new blog as well.
        Tonie

  8. Sue~~you manage to “nail the subject” each time you post! How could this one NOT hit home to all who are suffering with Chronic Pain? You have a few more years on me–“regarding living with PAIN” as I am crawling into my 18th year–and having both the ups and downs as Pain comes, goes, stays–hitting me with aches I never dreamed possible. Carrying a huge load of Pain around all the time gets very old and tiring, while knowing there is nothing that can be done. Just a daily grind of endurance.

    Tears~~hmmmm, certainly hits home with me as Crying is something I really don’t like doing–yet fully realize the importance of allowing my heart to open up and let the Tears flow. The TEAR message got very turned around for me as a little girl–thinking tears were wrong–and it took me a long time to find the Tears again, but thank the Good Man Above–I did find them and it is shocking to me as to how they suddenly come, and how nourishing the release of tears can be.

    One example–during a visit to the ER in desperate help for Pain Relief~~as I was checking in, the reception nurse called me by my full name~~suddenly I was back in time–hearing my parents calling me “Martha Lynn” and I could not stop crying. Just constant silent tears rolling down my cheeks. She was trying to say things so I would stop crying—finally I managed to squeak the words out “My folks are the only ones who ever called me that way—so I guess when we are really hurting, we want our Parents here to comfort us. Mine are gone, but you just gave me a loving memory!”

    I can’t thank you enough for this post Sue. Profoundly moving, honest, to the point. A reminder of how we all need a good cry at times. Bless you for writing this.. martha

    • Martha dear, I hope i don’t upset you with my digging and prying into my own heart…just promised myself years ago with my first blog that I would say the things few other people say in writing. I’m glad you found your tears again..release, sweet release. I think part of it for me comes more easily when I write because of my years as a nurse. When you take care of half dressed, stressed out folks…it breaks down barriers. My dear, it is often such a painful realization for each of us. We just go after the best medical care we can find, make decisions that are informed and try to stay centered.
      I love memories. They are to be cherished as they are relived. Precious memories of those long gone or even ourselves who no longer exist, but all of those characters are a part of who we are. My daughter’s getting into Ancestor’s.com and it’s been fun when she shares some of the facts with me. Now she has me sending my saliva swab off somewhere…should be interesting. Please feel free, anytime you need to chat to come here or private message me on FB. I’m here for you…Fondly, Sue

      • Sue-
        Wonderful response back~~~your words are in no way “digging” but just You! Open, honest, as you share with others and give us a peek into your life as a Nurse, Mom, and a woman living with Pain. After all these years I keep thinking that I should be “adjusted to the Pain” but that is not the case. PAIN is PAIN and no fun when it hangs around all the time. But I learn so much from others—your words are very helpful as I read, laugh, think, and yes–cry! Keep writing because you have a definite “Fan” here….. I have learned to take life a day at a time–and cherish even the tough times.. Thanks for being YOU…… Martha

      • Martha:
        Don’t it make you feel wonderful to have those memories ? Sometimes a smell or a sound will bring it all back to me in a flash ! I am also glad you found your tears. My mother encouraged us to let our emotions go. Said it was healthy. I think all the pain we carry breaks down our will so much and catches us off guard. Take care
        Tonie

  9. Tonie
    I’m not always ..loving…I can lose my blimmin rag you know!
    Anyhow you keep warm and as a Sue says get this heating sorted for yourself
    Martha
    I do like the way you have with words,as Sues they reach around the corners to meet you
    Well it’s 11.30pm approx
    And I’m gonna try and sleep……huh!
    Chris

    • Chris dear, knowing you I suspect you’re still awake. You sleep as disruptively as I do. I’ve been intending to ask you if you have a B/P cuff to check on DH’s B/P at home? We have some old ones but bought an automatic one but found it unreliable compared to the old method. Jim gets his checked by the other nurse at work. B/P is dependent on so many factors, like stress, pain, time of day, etc. I feel so badly for him now with headaches..what a pain. I pray he can get it sorted out soon or find another opinion. Is that hard to do in England?
      So you’re getting winds from a Mexican storm..crazy. We’re having beautifully bright but cold weather. I love the colors around here when it’s like this with the river sparkling and the trees so green. Saw a lot more fall foliage in Portland than we have out here. I still have so much cleaning to do from all the workmen, sanding, road work and in fact they’re still making cement dust outside and how it gets in here is a mysterious to me but for those of us with Sjogren’s oh baby…no fun. Hope you get some sleep dear lady..Love, Sue

      • HI SUE LOVE,
        BEEN THINKING OF YOU, I KNOW WE HAVE F/B’D A FAIR BIT SO UP TO SPED WITH MOST OF THE GOINGS ON, I HOPE BOTH YOU AND JIM ARE FEELING BETTER, OUR WEATHER HERE IS LIKE YOURS TOO, THE FALL HERE IS AMAZING AS IT IS RUSTIC HERE, VERY BEAUTIFUL. I AM FEELING A BIT BETTER SUE, I DID ALL THAT YOU SAID AND ADED SOME ACTIMEL TO THE LIST OF NATURAL HEALING. GOT TO CALL AT THE DOCS IN THE MORNING TO SEE IF THE LETTER HAS COME YET SO WE CAN KICK START DH’S OPERATION. MEANWHILE ITS GETTING COLDER, WHICH MEANS THE TIME HERE FOR THE 8 DAYS ALONE WHEN DH IS AWAY, WILL BE MADE MORE DIFFICULT. STILL IT COULD BE WORSE, WE COULD BE UP TO THE GILLS IN SNOW. BAD STORMS IN THE UK TODAY AND MONDAY, HAD TO WARN THE KIDS AS THEY NEVER PUT THE NEWS AND WEATHER ON, GOT TO CHECK ON CHRIS TOO. OK, ALL DONE, TALK SOON, LOVE YOU ….JENNIE X

  10. Well here i am….awake
    Yea we have a bp machine at home.we have measured it with the drs one and it reads the same ,he is seeing a general medic specialist at the hosp on Nov 11th.but the dr next tues.i think he will put on new bp pills…but what ones! He’s tried em all!
    I remember the dust from a sand storm in Oz it went everywhere even tho we sealed all the gaps
    Good job I’m not there now with the heat and the blowing sand and the sjogrens..we lived on the edge of the desert
    Well can hardly see had to put drops in eyes to open them ..I am missing something not being able to cry I think
    Well wide awake now..its 5.45am what to do..make a cup of tea
    What’s nuisance all that dust all the time..you ought to get something nice from thr local council fr putting up with all of it!!
    Chrs

  11. REsting a minute, my back is not happy. My nephew came over and put up the frame work for the roof over my door !! So I had to be out running up and down and getting tools, etc. I had just prayed my sewing machine into working when he got here. GOt a pot of veggie beef soup in the pressure cooker for supper. Made my wreath, will put it up online soon. Just a rustic one for now. Now for a shower and get back to sewing ,
    Love to all

    • TONIE…..MY FRIEND, SORRY NOT TO HAVE BEEN IN TOUCH, BEEN A BIT SICK, FEEL A BIT BETTER NOW THOUGH, THINK THE MEDS ARE FINALLY KICKING IN, BEEN A ROUGH FEW DAYS, A BIT LIKE THE REST OF THE PROBLEMS FOLKS HAVE BEEN WRITING ABOUT. GLAD THE PORCH IS GETTING DONE, A BIT MORE SHELTER FOR YOU AND WILL HELP TO KEEP THE SNOW FROM THE FRONT DOOR.
      IS THER ENOUGH FOR ME IN THAT THERE PRESSURE COOKER, I BET YOU MAKE A MEAN BEEF STEW. I USED TO COOK MINE IN BEER AND ADD CHEESE SCONES ON TOP WHEN IT WAS NEAR TO COMPLETION…..A BEEF COBBLER NO LESS!! WHAT ARE YOU MAKING WITH YOUR SEWING MACHINE? I LOVE RUSTIC WREATHS, DON’T CARE FOR THE POSH SORT, GOT ME A RUSTIC ON THE FRONT DOOR TOO. TAKE CARE LOVE……….JENNIE X

      • Hey Jen, Sorry you are not feeling well. I figured all ya’all were not up to par, cause no one is ever so quiet on here unless. I finally heard the truth about the origins of “Ya’all.” We always thought it was “you all”. but it is Old English combo of YE and ALL , Ye all and slanged down to ya’all with out accents ! So much of our speech here in the south comes from our roots in Merry Olde !! I look over these hills and valleys and I see what they must have seen. Vestiges of Ireland, Scotland and Wales. From pictures I have seen it looks the same ! Also, “hillbillys” comes from “Billy’s Boys” who lived in the hills of England and Scotland. So HILL BILLYS. I love this stuff.
        To all of you, praying you are well today. Going to visit Carol today and work on some things.
        Love
        Tonie

    • Tonie, you do sound like one busy lady. I know these are things you want to accomplish for the website and for the coming changes of seasons. We’re supposed to get very cold tonight. I have GS here, not feeling well so home from school and after DD picks him up I need to make another trip to Costco and pick up a few products I prefer from there. I love their thick bacon and large super inexpensive bags of pecans for baking. Looking ahead to the holidays although O know I’ll have to tone it down quite a bit.
      I love to hear all of your plans for projects and know it will turn out well, just pace yourself, okay? Love, Sue

      • I HAVE HEAT !!! Wow ! Tell them you are going elsewhere and they fly into action. Most of the woodpile is gone, Sean took it home with him. Now I am sitting on my heated blanket trying to get the ole back to settle down. Got to see my Levi (grandson) Loaded son up with fresh eggs (which he loves. he didn’t eat this am so he could have an egg sandwich when he got here). Things are falling into place. House is nice and cozy now and the back room is cluttered up for me to clean !! YEAH !!
        Sue, I LOVE that bacon, can’t get it that cheap or that good in the store. Rest up and take er easy.
        Love
        TOnie

  12. Hi Sue, Tonie, Chris, and all those I don’t know yet. Sorry it’s taken me so long to get here. I loved the blog, Sue. I know it applies well to me. And like some of the others, if someone pities me, I cry. I hate that pity stuff. Most of the time now, I can keep my crying under control, but the more I hurt, the more I will cry–not for the pain, but for anything. It was harder to keep the crying intact during the time I was losing so much of my family.
    I also relate so well to the hating to need help. I’m the helper. It takes all I have to ask for help, and if I have a hint that they don’t want to do what I asked, I cry over that.
    I’ve been fighting cellulitis in my naval, of all places. It’s positive for staph, but thank God, no MRSA. (The doctor was sure that’s what it was.) I’ve been on antibiotics for a month, and therefore can’t take my Humira. The Humira has been a wonder drug for me. I’ve been thankful that it worked for a long time after I started this antibiotic therapy. I finish this course Monday. I think I’m going to need more, but I’m taking the Humira before I see the doctor. This naval infection has been horrible. It drains, not profusely, but enough I have to keep it bandaged. I’m allergic to tape, so I’ve used the paper tape, and even that is making my skin raw. My entire abdomen has been swollen, hot, and itchy. This too shall pass.
    I’ve pretty much come to terms with my Mom’s and baby sisters death. My older sister is harder. At least once a day, I pick up the phone to call her. It’s hard to get old!
    Tonie, we’ve had a couple frosts here, but we won’t see snow, until January, most likely. Your mountain keeps us protected from the weather you get. Hope you get your heating dilemma fixed soon. I couldn’t figure how you were able to tote that firewood last winter, and I’m so glad you won’t be doing that this year.
    Sue, I’m so happy to hear that Jim is over the kidney stone and knee replacement. Kidney stones are so painful. You’ve had so much to deal with this summer. All that dust would make me crazy. There just doesn’t seem to be a way to keep it out of the house. Around here, if the city is working on roads and the result is a lot of dust, they will come water it down if you call them.
    I think I need to go back to bed. Good to see all of you, love, hugs and prayers to all.
    Linda S

    • Linda S., How wonderful to see this long entry from you. Now I feel caught up on your life. The infection sounds so hideous. You poor gal. Thank God it is not MRSA. What a time you’ve had. Tape allergies can so further the problems, sometimes. I am pleased to hear Humira has helped you so much. It’s good to know there are some lights on this long dark journey.
      You’re right of course about the dust, smoke and debris. Still peeling it off of surfaces…that will take some time at the snail’s pace I use these days. You’re right, you are the helper, the giver and having the need to be helped..it goes down hard for all of us who are independent, particularly us old nurses. Good entry and I’m so glad I found it. Much love, Sue

    • Linda:
      SO good we found you on here. (thanks to detective Sue) I been missing you gal ! I am glad you are feeling better more peaceful from your loss. Keep back in touch. Take care and stay warm. Yep no more wood for me, using propane this year. Got it turned up right now !
      Love ya
      Tonie

    • Jennie, I pray your husband’s letter comes soon so you both can get this surgery behind you. I know it’s going to be rough for you being alone for eight days and know the helplessness of not being able to drive to see him at the hospital when he’s there. I had that same feeling in June when Jim had his knee replaced. I drive locally, but don’t have the stamina for that two hour one way trip to Portland. I’m thankful you have a good friend/neighbor with Liz. Can you and DH communicate with phone and/or computer? Keep us up to date dear friend. Anything we can help with from so far away…we will do it. Courage dear, courage. Sounds like the surgery will make him better so must and know you’ll be watched over. One day at a time, okay? You don’t have to take on the whole 8 days at once. Much love…Sue

      • HIYA SUE,
        BEEN ANOTHER ROUGH DAY, I WILL BE GLAD WHEN THAT DARNED LETTER COMES, WE HAVE BEEN TOLD TO TRY THURSDAY, MEANWHILE ANOTHER WEEK HAS SLIPPED BY. I HOPE TO GOD THEY DON’T SAY DECEMBER , I CAN’T SURVIVE WITHOUT A FIRE IN TEMPERATURES THAT COULD BRING SNOW. I WELL REMEMBER THAT TIME WHEN JIM WAS HOSPITALIZED AND YOU COULDN’T GET THERE, SO YOU WILL KNOW FULL WELL HOW I AM FEELING MORE THAN MOST. YES I AM LUCKY TO HAVE LIZ, IF THE SNOW COMES THOUGH, SHE OFTEN CAN’T GET HER CAR OUT, HER HOUSE IS EVEN MORE RURAL THAN MINE. YES WE CAN COMMUNICATE BY HOSPITAL PHONE, BUT NOT COMPUTER, MY DH CAN’T EVEN TURN ONE ON….BLESS HIM, JUST DOESN’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT TECHNOLOGY….HMMMM!!!! YES SUE I WILL SURELY KEEP YOU UP TO DATE, IT WAS LOVELY TO HEAR FROM YOU…….THANK YOU…..JENNIE XX

  13. I had written a comment Thursday or Friday but it hasn’t shown…not up to writing much of another. I don’t get on my computer like I used to so my comments will be likely infrequent. I read the blog, just not writing so much. I’ve been dealing with the elderly shelties, Pow is going backwards age wise (much younger acting than for the past year, Cupid is getting much more elderly acting. Hope this gets through. I’ve had many occasions for tears (when I can produce them now) recently. I consider crying a healthy means to keep your mind working.

  14. Hello, everyone, I’ve been away from here a few days. Just got caught up. Whew! Sue, I have the smallest furry lap blanket on me at the moment. She is becoming such a lap cat lately. I’m not sure what got into her.

    Chris, I believe you asked about SB. I’m trying to remember what my last report was on the boy. It’s always something with that one. He’s surviving his first semester in college so far. His lower back is still doing well from the radio frequency ablation he had done, but his upper back was still bothering him quite a bit. The doctor started him on lyrica, hoping to calm the nerves. At first it didn’t help, but doc has since increased the dosage ( he was on a low dose to start) and he says it now helps with the pain near his spine. He is working on getting a handle on his shoulders – he gets muscle spasm. So far he’s not reported any migraines, but we shall see what happens after our time change. I know that is a factor for some people. Quite a saga, I know, but you asked. 🙂 Thank you for your interest and caring.

    Still trying to adjust to the sudden cooler temperatures. I went out for a walk today and had to bundle up. I just looked out the window and it’s DARK already. It still comes as a shock to me coming so early. Oh well.

    Jennie, we move our clocks forward 1 hour next weekend. Do you do the same in France? I am participating in a webinar that originates in France on Sunday and must figure out if it will be at the same time. If you move ahead an hour also, I will assume same time for that meeting. If we change and you don’t I’ll need to figure out how that will affect meeting time. I know I should know all this, but even if I did I wouldn’t trust my brain lately! Of course, I could look it up, too… I hope you are feeling better by now and not having any more medical mornings. 🙂

    SB just stopped by on his way back to school! He had gone home for the weekend with his roommate so I didn’t think I’d see him this weekend. So nice to see him, if only for a few minutes. Now I should get started on those dinner dishes. They won’t clean themselves!

    Have a good week ahead, all!

    • LYN DARLING……….NO WE DO NOT GO FORWARD AN HOUR WE GO BACK AN HOUR LIKE THE REST OF EUROPE INCL THE UK.
      THEN IN THE SPRING WE DO GO FORWARD AN HOUR, AGAIN LIKE THE REST OF THEM. SO TO MAKE IT EASY ITS, !FALL BACK, SPRING FORWARD” GLAD TO HERE SB IS DOING SO WELL IN SCHOOL, YOU MUST BE SO VERY PROUD ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING HIS PAIN, BLESS HIM. I HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING YOU ON F/B SO FAIRLY UP TO DATE…….TAKE CARE LOVELY……….JENNIE X

    • Lyn:
      I have been taking an “old school” muscle relaxer that has helped with spasms and it is so low key. Parafon Forte. Maybe SB can try that. Glad he is doing well in school. How is DD liking her job ? I am paying for all the walking Carol and I did thru the fields yesterday. That plus the weather is yuk today. Waiting on MY SB to get here to go get the stuff to seal my roof. But not moving too quickly today. But hopefully my coffee wil help.
      Take care

    • Lyn, it sounds like SB is maintaining well and enjoying college. He’s a brave young man and it sounds like his attitude is carrying him far right now. We are getting colder here, also. Getting out sweaters and looking for soft, warm pants. Someday s the jeans I usually wear hit my rear in the wrong place with that seam..looking for soft alternatives. Also lost about 2 inches of height and must get to the sewing lady…have several pairs that she will hem up better than I..cuffs, etc.
      I think that kitty who enjoys your lap so much…although I thought they all took turns…is probably cold Mama. George is still battling fleas with my help. SUre could use some freezing weather. Bath last night, drops today..poor tiny thing. Jake is doing fine..guess George tastes better, somehow. I’ve got GS here, getting over the flu. Sore throat but went to doc and she said just a virus..It is that time of year. Hope everyone is getting their flu shots. I did.. Stay warm dear girl…Enjoy the lovely fall..Love, Sue

  15. Hi all – hope I can finally manage to post and that it doesn’t disappear again.
    Sue, great blog, and one I’m sure that we can all relate to!
    I have been very upset because my rheumy since 1990 has decided to retire quite suddenly. I feel like a child who is losing their security blanket. I have one more appointment with him coming up in November, and then it will be up to my GP to find a replacement … but he is going to be very hard to replace 😦 He has been with me through some very difficult times and I always knew he was there if I needed him! He is a soft spoken man with a dry sense of humour and it did take a while to get to know him, but I now consider him a good friend. He would often tell me what he thinks might be my next step in managing my illness, and then let me go home to do my research and then return with my questions, and we would then decide together what my course of action should be.

    We are still at the cottage, trying to get some thing done which are impossible to do with the little one around during the summer. The bathroom renovation continues, but I do believe we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.We are going home on Tuesday evening as Connor and Neve’s daycare is closed on Wednesday so we will babysit them all day, and of course we have to be home for Halloween night! Knowing my son, the new baby will be visiting and dressed for the occasion, so the camera will be ready. My plan is to dress up as a witch as a surprise for them so I hope I am feeling well!

    • Pommum or nana Brenda, how good to get this straightened out so we can hear from you as we once did on the old blog. You’ve accomplished so much on the cottage, that’s great. So, were you a good witch for the holiday…of course you were. I saw the pics of your beautiful grands on FB. They are so adorable. Did you husband dress up, too.
      I pray you get a doctor you will be able to bond with eventually..it takes time, I know and sometimes searching. Your chart alone would be intimating to some doctors but very, far too, interesting to others. Good to be in touch..Much love, Sue

  16. Hi everyone … it finally posted for me! I had forgotten that I got a new email address for this blog but finally remembered!
    Must go now but I will be back soon.
    Love and Hugs … Nana Brenda aka pommum

  17. TONIE MY LOVE……….YOU HAVE BEEN DOING YOUR RESEARCH, LOVE IT, BET THERE IS PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM, WE ARE CLOSER LINKED THEN WE THINK HUH! NO WONDER THEY CALL US “COUSINS” HOW IS THE PORCH COMING ALONG? NOT FEELING GREAT HERE, CAN’T SEEM TO SHAKE OFF THE CYSTITIS, AND JUST TO MAKE IT WORSE I HAD ME AN ATTACK OF DIVERTICULITIS JUST FOR GOD MEASURE………NEVER MIND, JUST GOT TO GET TO GRIPS WITH IT ALL. WE WERE HIT FOR THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK WITH REALLY BAD STORMS AND WINDS OF 120 MILESAND HOUR, ALL THE CERAMIC TROUGHS FELL OFF THE UPSTAIRS WINDOWS, BOY DID THEY MAKE SOME MESS, THANKFULLY MOST OF THEM LANDED ON THE LAWN, AND AS THEY WERE FULL OF SOIL , THE FALL WAS CUSHIONED, DH BUSY RIGHT NOW CLEARING UP AND DISMANTLING THE GERANIUM TREE. OK SWEETS, LOOK AFTER YOURSELF……..LOVE YOU, JENNIE X

    • 120 mi winds !! WOW ! Last time I was in wind like that is was Hurricane Hugo ! Sorry you are feeling poorly. I am moving slow myself today, My bathroom habits are so bad sometimes I enjoy a little bout of “back door trots” just to clean out my system. 🙂 Prayers that you feel better dear friend. Glad no harm was done !!
      Love
      Tonie

    • Oh Jennie, I am sorry you’re still fighting that infection. Have they cultured your urine to specifically find out what bacteria it is? Sounds like time for that. Divert, too…now that just isn’t fair. Sorry to hear the beautiful flower filled areas of your roof fell..but what a windstorm. I hate it when the wind whips through here at that rate. I’ve got to check outside today for any plants that might freeze and try to finish staining our good wooden bench. So much to do, so little energy but that should be stamped on my forehead…or somewhere. Much love, Sue

  18. Hi Sue, good article! Sometimes I think about the things I used to do that I can no longer do. This often makes me tearful especially when I’m tired. I worry every day about my nursing career. I have a great boss that recognizes my skills with teaching new nurses and has helped me to build my own position in the critical care unit as an educator. I went back to school to earn my BSN in order to continue to be productive. I’m fortunate to have this opportunity. Many older nurses are let go.

  19. JANET…….SO SORRY I LEFT YOU OUT YESTERDAY LOVE, IT MUST HAVE BEEN COZ YOU WERE AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE WHEN I QUICKLY SCROLLED DOWN, I HOPE YOU ARE A BIT BETTER, AND PLEASE DON’T WORRY ABOUT ASKING FOR HELP, NO POINT IN STRUGGLING AND HURTING YOURSELF, DON’T BATTLE ON ON YOUR OWN…LOVE JENNIE XX

  20. Jennie, I’m sorry you are having such a time! Also sorry for the directional typo. I really did mean turn the clock BACK, not forward. Some days… I worry about my brain and what it chooses to do.

    Tonie, sorry you are feeling the effects. But it was all still worth it, though, wasn’t it? Have a good visit with your SB, be it long or short.

    Yes, Sue, all 3 kitties enjoy their lap time lately. >^-.-^<

  21. Lyn:
    The top cat is a fat cat and the lower one is a slim kitty !! Cute !. I foolishly helped Sean load up the wood and now am suffering for it. Bless his heart, he got down the road and had to come back and bring my roof sealant we picked up 🙂 It must run in the family !!
    Keep that kitty cat warm

  22. Jennie, If you get a freeze or some extreme weather while DH is in the hospital, and you can’t stack or carry wood…could you get a small plug in heater that would at least heat one room well for you? We have two I use on an extra cold night for George and I. It’s right here in the bedroom. He gets cold so easily. Jim rarely feel cold. They aren’t expensive, particularly and would back you up.
    My dear, I know you want to be realistic and appreciate that but my Mom used to have an expression, “Don’t borrow trouble.” You will be okay, I know you will and just knowing he is going to get his problem fixed will make it worth it for you. Talking to him on the phone will help but if he’s at all like Jim, he may not say much. Jim hates the phone after years of being on call for work and also, after surgery, he slept much due to the meds and fatigue.
    Yes, it is a helpless feeling to not be right there and I must confess I feared his doctor and care givers would think his wife didn’t care when in reality I was torn up by not being there.
    I made it out to Costco and loaded up on things I could lift and they are waiting in the car for Jim to get home. It was a gloriously beautiful blue sparkling day here but the wind was very cold. GS was here part of the day while DD worked but he’s better. If his temp is still fluctuating, he may have to come over tomorrow. We watched movies…he loves some of the old comedies. Today we watched FATHER GOOSE with Cary Grant. Our generator technician came by for his annual service on our unit. George had fleas again last night and I gave him two baths. Poor little guy. He pouted all night wrapped up in towels. He’s so adorable and funny. Jakie slipped on the basement stairs today, they are a bit more steep and wooden. I was frightened but he seems okay. One of his hind legs seems a bit weak. At almost 12, he’s very spry but probably has a bit of arthritis. George is good for him and forces him to play and I think they are actually enjoying each other now, zipping around the house. Stay safe dear girl and I pray your DH gets this surgery and recovery done ASAP. Love, Sue

    • HI SUE,
      OH DEAR!! I HAVE TO SEE MY DOCTOR AGAIN, I HAVE BEEN DOING MY RESEARCH, AS TO WHY THIS PELVIC PAIN IS GOING ON, AND ALL ROADS SEEM TO LEAD TO A VENTRAL HERNIA, ITS DEEP IN THE GROIN AND CAN’T BE SEEN, AND I BELIEVE THIS IS OFTEN THE CASE. IF IT DOSEN’T SETTLE SOON I WILL HAVE TO SORT IT OUT AS I KNOW THEY CAN BE DANGEROUS IF LEFT FOR TOO LONG.
      I HAVE THIS FEAR OF BARRY AND I BEING IN HOSPITAL AT THE SAME TIME, AND SACHA ON HIS OWN. LIZ CAN’T HAVE HIM, NOT WITH HER HAVING FOUR CATS…EEEEK!!!
      LORD IT NEVER STOPS DOES IT, SAME AS CHRIS, JUST GET RID OF ONE THING AND UP ROLLS ANOTHER? BY THE WAY I HAVE A RIVAL I CHRIS FOR MY HUSBANDS ATTENTION HA HA!! THEY WERE CHATTING TOGETHER THE OTHER DAY, THEY HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON, AS BARRY HAS WORKED ON OVER ONE THOUSAND CHURCHES IN HIS CAREER, AND CHRIS IS CRAZY ON CHURCHES AND STATELY HOMES, SO HE WAS ABLE TO TELL HER LOTS OF STORIES……AND THEY ARE GOING TO CHAT SOME MORE SOON…..I THINK ITS GREAT. POOR OLD JAKE, I DO HOPE HE IS OK, I HAD THOUGHT OF GETTING A YOUNG UN’ FOR SACHA NOW HE IS AT THE OLD AGE OF EIGHT, BUT I HINDSIGHT GLAD I DIDN’T RIGHT NOW. SOUNDS LIKE YOUR WEATHER IS ABOUT THE SAME AS OURS NOW SUE, THE STORMS FROM THE WEEKEND HAVE SETTLED DOWN, BUT FOUR LIVES WERE LOST IN THE UK, ONE A YOUNG GIRL OF SEVENTEEN. OK SUE , WILL KEEP YOU POSTED AS SOON AS I GET ANY NEWS……..LOVE YOU MY FRIEND…….JENNIE X

      • Jennie, if you have a doubt about this, yes, you should have it looked into right away. I’ll have to read up in that particular hernia and give you my opinion, of course, but seeing your doctor should be pushed a bit. Now, my dear, if you and DH were to end up in the hospital at the same time…there must be someone in the village who you could pay to babysit Sacha. I understand that particular fear. Just, once again, one problem at a time. I know each of us have you in our prayers so both of you can get some answers.
        Sounds like you better watch our Chris. OOHH…talking about churches. Sounds pretty appealing. What fun, really. Jake is moving more slowly today. Can’t say the same for George. Back later dear girl. Still very cold but beautiful here today. Kids this afternoon after school. Love and special emergency prayers, Sue

  23. Hi everyone, I have lost several messages I have attempted to post, but last night it finally worked and it said I believe, “waiting for moderation” and my post was here last night, but alas it is gone now too!!!
    We are still at the cottage trying to get some work finished before we close for the winter. We are returning home tomorrow as we are needed to babysit on Wednesday and want to be home to see our little ghost and goblins Thursday night. It is to be -5C tonight bur warmer next week, so I hope we can get the outside stuff done then.
    I will try once more to post my message, but just want to say Sue, that I am enjoying the blog and reading everyone’s messages.
    Love and Hugs … Nana Brenda

    • Nana B:
      Just saw this trying to catch up. I hope you had fun witht he babies last night. There aren’t many kids our here these days so it is very quiet here in the mtn. We are in the 60’s here for now but temps will be dropping next week.
      So glad to see you on here.
      Love
      Tonie

    • Nana Brenda, so good to hear from you. Be sure to enter this way each time…pommum. We’ve all missed you. Hope you get all your projects done by DH at the cottage before your temps fall any further. Isn’t it amazing how the holidays of all sorts take on so much more enjoyment with little ones? You do have such adorable ghosts and goblins..good genes. Glad you’ve been able to read the entries. Now, just stick with the method that works for you to get on here. Much love, Sue

  24. Jennie, Prayers and positive energy coming your way. Expecting some rain here, but the temperature is in the high 70s. Wont get cold for a little while yet, at least I hope not. Hate ice as it can trap me out here in the boondocks. You take care . Love and gentle hugs. Janet

    • Janet dear, oh yes, those icy Texas roads. I worry about my kids down there each time it hardens up like that. Enjoy your climate right now..very cold here. Always turns here in OR around Halloween. You know your remarks reminded me of an old letter I found from one of Jim’s ancestors about having so much ice on the ground in Nebraska in 1862 that the animals had to stay in the barn all winter and to get to town they had to ICE SKATE. Imagine…Fondly, Sue

  25. Hi all
    Yea ..all you girls would love talking to Jennies DH.he is lovely.has such a soothing accent you would all love him…he is lovely to talk to…yep and me and me history it was good to talk to him
    Well what have I been up to….3 hosp apps .looking at DD new home ,sorting out my dad with various people and visiting him…..And the dentist..oh and did go out for dinner somewhere .a good oldroast beef,roast pots new pots roast parsnip,creamed leeks, cauliflower cheese.cabbage and yorkshires.couldnt eat it all and I gotta go on my diet…do a hear me! But do I?
    My dad should be going home next Monday with hospital at home.still with catheter in tho and on morphine ..I’m not sure of it all
    Well hubby had gp apt today too all go innit…short note …tired
    Write tomorrow
    Hope all going ok
    Chris

    • Oh Chris, your dinner out sounds so delicious. Those are some of my favorites. Of course, we don’t have Yorkshire pudding here but I should give it a go. Love creamed and cheesed vegies..no calories there my dear. See we can all do it? I was so tired last night I couldn’t write. Picked up the grands after school and we went to the bakery to get Halloween cookies. So good. They had frosted pumpkin cookies, witches hats made with Hershey’s chocolate kisses and the cutest gingerbread men that had the white frosting on them to look like skeletons. I had GS the day before because he had a bug but is better now.
      I can understand your concerns about your Dad going home. So much to consider. Hope visiting nurses are hanging the IV morphine for him or is it oral? Take home indwelling catheters almost always bring an infection so make sure they keep an eye on that. It’s a direct line into the bladder so the bacteria love those things. Chris, how much pain is he in? Can he get up to the loo, etc.? I guess the real question with your Dad is, should he?
      You sure did your share of running around for medical appts. Bet you were exhausted. So, Jen’s husband is dishy over the phone huh? Sounds like Hugh Jackman better watch out!! I’ll bet your DH has a wonderful Oz accent, though. Do be good to yourself along the way sweet friend. Love, Sue

  26. HEY YOU GUUUUYYYSS ! (what movie is THAT from Sue ??) Just settled down, sat with Ms Alice until 5. Good day’s pay which I needed. It was so beautiful this am, I came up on the mtn going to work and the clouds had parted and the sun was shining down in the valley while the mist was lifting. I couldn’t take my eyes off it, then I lost the altitude and it was gone. Anyhow, long day /
    Jennie, you watch out for that other woman now 🙂 Chris, rest up dear and take care of you. Your dinner sounds luscious !! My son ate all my little chocolate bars yesterday and now of course, I want one. Will have to make some pudding I guess .
    Sue, poor little George. But I have been fighting them too with Brutus. It worries me so much they wake me up if they scratch and they are afraid to scratch cause I grab em and look em over then spray them !! Rest dear friend and take care not to get that boy’s sickness.
    Love to you all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, Glad you got in a day of work with Ms. Alice. Your description of the mountains sounds as wonderful as the picture of them you posted on FB with the fall foliage everywhere. So pleased you’ll be warm and cozy this winter without having to haul wood. OOUUCCH! Last winter was a bugger for you. Hope Judy is better so she can have her knee surgery next week as planned. Give her my love..never met her or you but love you both as if I had.
      Poor Brutie, having his Mama chase him around with the flea spray. With George, since he’s so small the “spraying it onto the towel then holding him tightly with it wrapped around his neck to protect his face” worked well. Jake doesn’t have nearly the problem with them that this tiny one does. He’s laying here at my feet as I lay here typing away. looks very cool in his black shirt which reads, “SECURITY.”

      Lovely, clear and cold day today here also. Got in the car this AM to run errands and wished I’d remembered my gloves. Came home and put a pair by my purse for the next time. Very chilly. I rented some movies, mailed a couple of packages, went to SIL’s lumber yard to check on his brother who had surgery last week. He’s doing very well. Bought some Goo Gone to get the label off the hot pink Adirondack chair I bought a couple of weeks ago, stopped for a box of liqueur filled Finnish chocolates to bring home, bought Jim some nice soft black Finnish licorice and I think that’s all. Potted a scented geranium so I could handle placing it and moving it onto the porch. When we get a hard freeze my poor geraniums really go first and the scented ones are really hard to replace. I do love them with their scented leaves and tiny pink flowers. Broke off a piece so stuck it in water until I can pot it. I love having plant starts about; have a Christmas cactus and another geranium going right now in a sunny window. All of my African violets are doing so beautifully. Although one of them has white fly. Does anyone know an organic way to get rid of that awful stuff?

      Got tomorrows blog put together and hope it goes over with all. Waiting for Jim to get home and it’s almost 8PM. He just called and has had a bad day. Having chilly dogs for dinner tonight. Living dangerously…Gotta go. Love, Sue

      • Chocolate liqueurs and licorice YUM !! Love those dark chocolates. I got me some licorice the other day. It helps me go potty as well. Scented geraniums ? I don’t think I have seen those. I didn’t think of doing that with mine, now the frost has gotten them. Try washing them with some basic H. I used it before like that. It will also get that sticky stuff off your chair 🙂 When in doubt, get the Basic H out !!
        Well, I am really pooped and need to get to sleep. Tomorrow is work day. I have a full day everyday until next Wed. I am gonna be dragging next week.
        Rest up dear one.
        Love you much
        ps Judy is doing well, surgery going as planned.
        \Tonie

  27. Tonie, that sounds a bit like Steve Martin. 🙂 It was a beautiful morning here, too. I managed to get out for a walk and was not disappointed. I must remember to scroll back up and write down the name of the muscle relaxant you mentioned. I didn’t write it down earlier and don’t trust my memory for anything! Matter of fact, I’m concerned enough to have started playing brain games on lumosity.com. Hopefully that will help. I know brain fog days there is not much I can do, but I don’t want that to become every day!! So frustrating.

    I typed a small reply today but I think it must have disappeared into the ether. Not sure what was in it… See, I am losing it. I know I did answer Sue about Rufus and the girls. They all do a run through the house time to time, but Rufus does more than the other two, not surprisingly.

    Time to take my contacts out. Eyes are getting tired and dry. I’m actually amazed with the dryness I experience that I can still wear them for any length of time anymore. Can’t wear the soft lenses for anything. Never could and that hasn’t changed. The gas permeables (RGPs) are the only ones for me!

    Jennie, check out that vag. pain to be safe and try not to borrow trouble otherwise, as Sue said 🙂 Praying all goes well.

    There, I think I covered what I did earlier. Now to post and see if it appears!

    • Lyn dear girl, Please forgive my tardiness. I was trying to answer you last night and my hand literally fell onto the keyboard and my eyes closed. I’ve been so exhausted since this back fracture and all that is going on. I used to be a night owl. Then I woke up about 1:30 and realized I’d be in a world of sorry in the morning because I hadn’t taken my metamucil and MOM. Drinking that stuff in the middle of the night is awful. Well…anyway, that’s what happened.
      I know you’re concerned about your forgetfulness and I don’t blame you. I have it also but I’m older than you and blame it on that. I also know pain is a miserable distraction as is fatigue. I think the word games is a great idea. You might also enjoy the Nun’s study they’ve been conducting on Alzheimer’s disease. It’s online. I’m not at all implying you have that, just that it is an interesting read on the subject. You may remember I’ve mentioned it previously in other blogs. I’ve hardly touched my new Ipad…must dive into that today. First I’m going to straighten all the pictures on the wall. Can’t believe how crooked all the pounding, sanding, construction has tipped everything…the ones that have stayed on the wall. I’m equipped with my sticky stuff..

      I love the fact your cats give you so much pleasure and company. So literate, those sweet kitties of yours, sharing your reading with you. Do you exclusively use the Kindle now? Jim and I both love ours. What kind of lit. do you normally read? I’ve really enjoyed the uplifting books of James Stovall and Dr. Ben Carson. I’m ashamed to say I do most of my reading in the john. I’m always so far behind on here and on FB that takes my times, plus all this other stuff around the house. Today the construction crew is laying the boards for the new sidewalks…in the rain. Why do I always think of Bob the Builder when I see them suited up out there? I bought a new steam mop and hope it helps with the floors and Mr. George’s offerings. He’s doing well, most of the time on the pads but oh horrors, our little boy is growing up….today I saw him lift his leg for the first time. Our vet is at a seminar and we can’t get him in to get his buttons clipped off until mid Nov. Jake is moving a bit more slowly but it’s hard for him who has only always had one speed…super fast.
      How’s life for DD and the new job? So please SB is enjoying college…all grown up but never too old to bring home his laundry. Much love just knowing you’re there and we’re sharing this strange life…Sue

  28. KNACKERED SO THIS IS TO EVERYONE……….BEEN TO THE DOC’S, NO HERNIA, JUST A MUSCULAR PROBLEM, AND BEEN GIVEN NEW MEDS, AND THEY KICKED IN RIGHT AWAY, SO RELIEVED I CAN’T TELL YOU. NOW JUST WAITING FOR THE DOC TO PHONE TO TELL US WHEN MY DH IS TO GO FOR HIS OPERATION. WENT TO OUR MEDIEVAL CITY FOR A COFFEE AND A NAUGHTY KITKAT (DO YOU HAVE THOSE?) THEN UP TO THE RAMPARTS TO TAKE A FEW PICS.
    THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO WISHED ME WELL, I AM ALWAYS GRATEFUL…..CATCH YOU LATER……..JENNIE XXXX

    • Jen:
      Glad you got some relief and it is no worse than muscles. You talking about KITKAT chocolate bars ?? Yes we have them, my sisters fav. I am making choc chip cookies for church tonight Listening to the guns going off from hunters around. Turkeys and game birds are up for grabs. Soon gun season opens on deer, then they will really be booming up and down the mtns. We are having beautiful weather today. Up in the mid 70’s, still cool wind, but I have the doors and windows open.
      Lyn, I know what you mean about the fog. It is embarrassing when you can’t think straight and trying to talk to someone. I am tired and kinda brain dead myself right now, so gonna go. Take care all
      Love
      Tonie

  29. Hi sue
    My dad has oral morphine…..but on so many tabs at diff times when he comes home it’s gonna be difficult for a while..till his chemist puts them all in a weekly pack for him
    Yea DH has an accent I’m used to now but wheni first met him I noticed his voice, i liked ,that’s what I notice I think first the voice and the eyes .strange…
    Dad seems in pain still…before he is due his morphine he has to have other painkillers to top up.so he is going to need the morphine for a while ,its three weeks since he broke his ribs

    All that Halloween food sounds good.good time of year for all the food I like.roasts stews all those autumn puddings..

    Tonie…I wish I lived near some mountains..round here it is so flat.i was raised in a mountainess area and do so miss them. I itch to get back to them. They were part of my life as a kid.
    You make sure you get some rest along the way this week with all you do

    Well here i am awake 4.30 am..hw does anyone stay asleep…DH snoring away!
    Tomorrow …guess what .off to photo some rare birds on someone’s farm…it’ll be the newspaper toread for me again and tea in our usual place..but at least it’s a normal activity. Haven’t been normal for a while
    Chris!

    • Hey Chris:
      When I lived in Az, it was so flat. But I could get to the mtns in a little bit. Boy did I miss them big old things. The mtns near me there were all rock and no trees. Beautiful but different. Somehow they seem to shelter you don’t they ? Is your hubby from the UK ? I notice voice and eyes also . Eyes as to whether they look me in my eyes or shift around. Doncha hate it when others are snoring when you can’t sleep ?? The DOGS do that. I want to shake em and make wake up also ! 🙂 Wish I could see some of your dh’s photos. He should publish a book of his works. THat;d be cool. I have to get busy and put some more items on my site. Been so busy with other things I have not gotten to it. I have to go to my friends house to do hers for her, cause she is scared of computers 🙂
      Well gotta get going. Take care
      Tonie

    • Chris, hope you had a lovely day of tea. DH and beautiful sights. What kind of rare birds are we talking about? Hope the weather held for you and was pleasant. Sounds like you’re getting chilly as well as us. Hope your pain is not too bad from the traveling. Later dear girl..Sue

      • Chris, Sorry, I forgot to comment on your Dad. Oh my dear, with the purple chest you described from the trauma of those fractured ribs, it will take time. What’s so awful about it is the stabbing you feel with each breath..muscles affected as well. It’s important that he take deep breaths…he won’t want to but he must. We used to put rib belts on folks, wore one a few times myself but the studies revealed folks were getting more pneumonia because they weren’t taking nice deep breaths. Even every once in awhile just remind him..now whether or not he’ll do it is the other matter. Sue

  30. FOUND A SOLUTION TO BEING COLD WITH NO FIRE, DH IS CUTTING UP A PILE OF SMALL LOGS THAT I CAN MANAGE TO CARRY AND WILL STACK THEM UNDER THE PORCH AND COVER THEM UP. I WILL GET A STACK OF KINDLE WOOD AND FIRELIGHTERS, AND BRING BACK SOME OF MY PIONEER SPIRIT, I WILL NOT BE BEATEN. GONNA MAKE A HEAP OF SOUP FOR IF I DON’T FEEL LIKE COOKING, AND IF I CAN’T WALK THE DOG, HE WIL HAVE TO RUN WITH HIS LEG UO….SORTED. GOT A STACK OF CANDLES AND A TORCH, AND A QUILT FOR THE COUCH, SO I WILL BE OK. THE TEMPERATURES ARE DROPPING RAPIDLY NOW, AND JUST HEARD THE HOSPITAL SECRETARY WILL BE CALLING DURING THE FIRST THREE DAYS OF NEXT WEEK WITH AN APPOINTMENT FOR DH’S OPERATION……HOPE EVERYONE IS OK……….LOVE YA ……JENNIE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    • Jennie, sweet relief. Those answers do come when we trust and just think it through. You have a kind, practical man there. I’ll be so happy for both of you when his appt. for the surgery is made and all sorted out. As far as your visit I should comment that I often also have a bulging, herniated feeling in the gut when my low back is strained and I’ve done too much. I hate to say it but as we age our abdominal muscles grow weaker and we can blame years of gravity for some of that. Feet up my dear…not as in lilies held at your chest, toes up but as in rest,, rest, rest.

      The grands came by for Halloween. GD was a black cat with whiskers and GS was a Jedi knight or master. He was bearing a new light saber..very fancy. The other day they bought little George a jacket sans Yoda from Star Wars. He keeps trying to eat the furry ears. I hate this holiday and tend to the dogs while Jim answers the door. Most of the kids in town do their trick or treating downtown at the retail shops. Of course, it’s raining. It always rains here on the ghoulish day. We’ve had beautiful sunny weather all week until now. Do take care and feel better soon. Much love…Sue

    • Lyn, I couldn’t have said it better…there is always a way. We just have to remember not to panic, huh? Easier said than done. Sue

  31. Jennie:
    So glad you sorted it all out. Not fun to think of being cold. Prayers dear girl and take it easy. Good grief it is NOVEMBER already !! Where did MAY go to ???
    Love ya
    Tonie

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