EMPOWER YOUR FUTURE: DON’T FEAR IT!

I’m afraid most of us live in denial when we are faced with many of the problems so many of you have shared with me over the years. Why not? We often see our bodies falling into disrepair and our minds don’t want to follow into the natural conclusion that we will continue down this road.

Sixteen years ago my sweet daughter and I took a trip to Finland to visit an old friend of mine who lives just outside of Helsinki in a beautiful little planned community. I didn’t think I could do it because of all the sitting that would be required on the plane trip. I had promised this friend to visit her one day, time’s a’wastin’ and my daughter who was named after her urged me on. My dear Jim stayed home to work and dogsit as we girls took the long flight to Heathrow in London, then caught the hopper over to Helsinki after a six hour layover. During the flight from San Francisco to London, which as I recall took 11 or 12 hours, I walked my sorry behind up and down the aisles. I would have done anything to keep from sitting on it that whole time. The whole population of the plane was asleep and I was the floor walker.

I had registered for the flight as a disabled person but that was a bit farcical because at each transfer or stop, there was some poor airline employee with a wheelchair urging me to sit on my problem. I grew tired of explaining to well-meaning, yet bored strangers why I couldn’t sit down. Goodness folks, you know I talk about my tush enough to all of you without having to explain, out of the blue, to some poor unsuspecting soul that my disability is more than needing a wheelchair. By the time we arrived at our destination I had been awake for more than 36 hours and was trembling with pain and fatigue. My friend and her family greeted us and we had a bit of a drive out to their suburb after filling out information for my daughter’s lost luggage. When we arrived at their apartment complex, my friend sheepishly told me they lived on the fifth floor and had no elevator. I contemplated if it was illegal in Finland to strangle someone if you were only visiting and had known them a really long time and concluded…yep, it was.

We arrived on a Saturday night and she had made arrangements for us to walk to church the next morning…just a mile or so. When I asked her if they had cushions or pads in the pews she assured me they did. Well, they didn’t and there we were in God’s house and I had so much malice in my heart it was difficult to feel peaceful. “Onward Christian Soldiers” was the only hymn I could think of that applied, if those soldiers were armed, that is.

A few days later was their night for the sauna in their complex. Let me explain that to the Finns, the sauna is more than a hot, steamy bath. It’s history, tradition and Nirvana. Every Finn has a sauna or three or at the least one they can use. They use them “ah buffo” or in the nude. Grandparents, children, men and women all sweating together and steaming up over hot pits of fire striking each other with branches, birch, I believe, although it didn’t really matter to me at the time. Out of courtesy for our Pilgrim Fathers, my friend’s husband allowed us females to bath alone. I have not always been a modest person but since everything I am and own on my naked person has shifted to a new and mostly lower configuration, I was resistant. My daughter who had perky, well, everything at that time, was all for experiencing it, you know the old, “When in Rome,” adage.

I was mostly embarrassed to be seen by my daughter and told her, “I don’t want you to see me because you’ll probably be looking at your future.” I didn’t want to depress the girl. Once the clothes were off, it was out of my hands, so to speak. We had this experience twice while on that amazing trip.

Besides eating far too many fish eggs, whole fish with bones et al baked into a bread, liver pudding baked with raisins and sugar as dessert and reindeer meat I can understand why you seldom see a Finnish restaurant in this country. We were spared the infamous blood pudding of that country. It was an amazing trip and one neither of us will ever forget.

My point in sharing all of this is that we never know what to expect in our futures. We’re not going to find some of it to our taste, we’re going to be humiliated by other parts of it and we’re probably better not knowing what’s coming down the pike. That old Irish expression, “If you want to make God laugh just plan your future,” is so true. Naturally, we try by seeking a good education, marrying for love or lust, and fooling ourselves into thinking we’re in charge…of something, but in reality, very little is in our control. We envision our grandchildren and our children living in success and splendor before the first time they get into trouble, get their first divorce or have the bottom fall out of their careers. We long for perfect health for them, usually forgetting they are running around with a deposit of the very same DNA that got us into this pickle.

I have recently been grimly and realistically made aware of what my future holds. Faced with decadent cartilage, thinning bones, loss of weight and height watching my pant legs drag on the floor. I know I didn’t expect to be fat and jolly until the day I parted from this world but to watch myself losing parts like a rusty R2 D2 from a Star Wars saga, can be a bit too much.  I confess, to hear my rheumatologist explaining all the grim details of what my disease will do to me (Relapsing polychondritis) was a bit startling. I’ve had a look into my future and I don’t like it.  The word that comes to mind is “Yikes!” I have been forced to face the future, not in its finery but in its shabbiest and most frightening appearance.

As an RN for many years, I know most doctors pride themselves on being realist, but sometimes, they are wrong. I also know most forms of rheumatoid disease do not follow the rules or guidelines. Our bodies love to surprise us, even in cases of cancer, and it’s not always bad. In this particular case the physician was trying to prepare me for the future by recommending a new, somewhat experimental drug which I will need to inject every day for two years and pray I don’t develop osteosarcoma. I have always known life is a gamble and now I have proof. If I am going to be honest with all of you and with myself, all of life is a gamble and a game of chance. Each time we get into a car, it’s a gamble. Each time we eat a food prepared by another’s hands, walk down the street or are exposed to that vicious witch, Mother Nature with all of her temper tantrums and storms. Every day of our lives we are faced with surprises, challenges and catastrophic events.

The key is to face the future with knowledge, courage and most of all, faith. Knowledge gives the armament of information we need about our doctors, our medications and any procedures we might have to face. Knowledge sounds so boring but in reality it is empowering. Reading a drug book, catching up on Dr. Andrew Weil’s latest take on your condition or taking advantage of the many millions of resources available to us in this modern age on any and all medical conditions is one of the shields to guard us. We need to do as mother always said, “Consider the source.” Beware of greed, avarice and strangely sounding “too good to be true” remedies online. I always like to check for at least two opinions on medical issues as well.

Another way we can empower ourselves is to check the level on our fear and anxiety scale. Most of what we fear will never happen. Fear can take over our lives and as the clock in the hall ticks away our minutes, hours and days; we allow fear to tie us up in knots. It’s difficult to experience all of life’s gifts which heal us if we cannot move due to fear. While you and I are trying to untie those knots, we’re missing so much that will never be enjoyed in quite the same way as it can be right now. Soaking in the beauty of a crystal blue river, watching a flock of tiny ducks swimming in the cold water, seeing a cormorant dive for a fish or observing a cluster of cloud formations float gently and lazily away from your view; these are empowering for the spirit. Hope with a touch of humor trumps fear each and every time.

The power of belief and spirit is one of remarkable confusion. No one really understands the connection but millions of us know it to be true. These temporary quarters in which we live, called bodies, is but a small part of the picture. They are annoying, betraying and troublesome, but they are not in charge.

masters of your own universe

You and I are the masters of our own universe. We must not let fear of the past or the future rule our lives, causing us to miss the marvels of today. Fear is a black fog that can be whisked away by the light of reason and knowledge. If we allow it to take over, we are mere victims and become that starving soul who doesn’t even know the refrigerator is full. We all must widen our view, turn on the light of faith and expect the unusual which isn’t always frightening. You know yourself better than anyone else does. Have confidence in what you want. Have belief in your dreams although they may need a bit of tweaking.  Run or crawl or wheel away from the negative people and forces in your life. Fear is empowered by you only if you allow it to be. Open the windows, turn on the lights of reason and be informed. This is your life and you are ultimately in charge. Be sure to hang out that sign, “NO VICTIMS HERE.” No victims here. So, what are you going to do today?

100 thoughts on “EMPOWER YOUR FUTURE: DON’T FEAR IT!

  1. Sue that was amazing. I could visualize the whole trip (I swear I walked home from Europe when I went). I so want to go back but don’t think I could manage the travel/flight. I’ll write more when I pull out my computer.

    • Bobsled, I know…it’s hard to let go of some of our dreams. I like to think they’re replaced by something equally good but that’s a hard view to keep. If I had felt better and had more money we would have spent a few days in London but chose not to. We were in Finland three weeks and it was amazing but just about killed me. We did far more traveling than I would have chosen, if asked. DD took an overnight boat over to Sweden with my friends daughter. Those two countries are so very different but there in Helsinki all of the signs are in Finnish and Swedish. You see very little cultural mix like you do in this country.
      Hope you and the pups are all healing from your recent loss. Hope you start to feel creative again, very soon. Hate those metaphorical uphill walks, don’t you? Love, Sue

  2. THAT WAS BRILLIANT SUE, I FELL ABOUT LAUGHING AT YOUR TRIP WITH YOUR DEAR DAUGHTER, BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW THE HELL YOU MANAGED IT, AMAZING!! WELL ITS DEFINATELY WINTER HERE NOW, ITS ENOUGH TO FREEZE THE NUTS OFF A BRASS MONKEY. GOT THE CYSTITIS BACK WITH IS A BIND, I DON’T KNOW WHY ITS COME BACK SO SOON AFTER THE LAST LOT. I KNOW YOU CLICKED “LIKE” ON MY F/B PHOTOS, THE ONE WITH THE GRAVE OF AN AMERICAN AIRFORCE PILOT, WELL I AM TRYING TO OUT WHERE HE ID FROM AND WHERE HIS FAMILY ARE NOW, NOT HAVING MUCH LUCK SO FAR, BUT I WILL FIND OUT.
    WELL NOT A LOT TO ADD, BUT THANKS FOR THE BLOG, AND IN THE LIGHT OF HOW ILL YOU HAVE BEEN, I REALLY DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DID IT. THINKING OF YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE THIS WEEKEND….LOVE TO ALL…JENNIE XXX

    • Jennie, I can’t believe you’re faced with another round with the bladder. That stinks. Push those fluids girl..drink, drink, drink. It’s cold here also but mixed with rain, off and on. Hope Sacha is keeping up your cheer ratio. I know, around here, speaking of monkey balls, our little George took one whole day to sleep and now he’s back to his normal, flying through the air self.
      I’m still feeling under the weather with the virus DD and GS have had and they’re not feeling all that swift. Jim is still working too long and too hard and the whole country is in an upheaval about health insurance. It’s a complete mess over here. It really is depressing at times. It is so kind when someone like you honors one of our own fallen soldiers. Perhaps the folks in France have longer memories because they were directly involved in the war like the English. Take care dear friend and try to get better…Love ya, Sue

  3. Sue
    The tale you tell is so funny and yet so seriously sad. How you align the two together is clever .
    You know I think as well, the medics don’t know it all…we know our own bodies
    Im concerned about this new drug for you…can it just run along side of you and you decide when you want it ,or not at all? Perhaps her prognosis was coloured by what she knows ,but who can tell which way anything will go really .it all to do with making assumptions ,no one knows it all and be sure of the answer

    I was walking in town today ,dark early ,cold and shop lights all on.it was town and I don’t like towns,but today it was magical . I really enjoyed the moment .itwas unexpected to feel like that..somewhere I hate being I was there enjoying it…..life from another perspective . It catches you out!

    Well ,but what a time you had there in Finland…I would have screamed ,that so much could go wrong
    And as for going in the nuddie ! No chance!
    Well tomorrow we are going to a Dickensian craft market..in the afternoon.lunchout first somewhere then to this small market town ,it should be getting twilight for it to look good
    Dad not so good today.he called the dr out,but got told off fr doing so..felt so sorry for him.as the catheter is playing up and he can hardly move his body or speak.then this dr b.tch turns up!!!
    Well bp for DH not too bad
    Me well it’s all playing up
    Be back later Chris

    • Chris, So pleased you had a lovely experience downtown. Lights, shops and the weather, along with the time of day can take us out of ourselves and our problems for awhile. I’m always thankful for moments like that. It took us four years to sell our house in California 16 years ago when we moved up here. There was a glut of houses on the market, newly built, in our area down there and the market dropped. After we finally sold our brand new house with a pool and got to move up here into our old house. I was so grateful I promised myself that every time I drove across the Columbia River bridges and took in the majesty of the expanse as it passes out into the Pacific, I would say a word of thanks. And I do, each time. Some things we are best not taking for granted. Life has few such moments and we all need to remember to embrace them.
      Your poor Dad. It’s so painful to grow old for so many and to have his dignity messed with, via catheter and infection, is so hard on a man’s pride. Shame on that doctor for being so superior. Some doctor’s could use a good dose of illness themselves or humiliation, which is often the same thing. The other side of the sheets can teach us a great deal, don’t you think? Glad DH is holding onto a decent B/P. As for you, please do whatever you can to have rest, recreation and peace. The festival sounds like it will be a fine experience.

      Now, as far as me and my new medication. I asked for a new bone density to be sure it is my bones that are fragile and the recent fracture was not because of my disease, which is destroying cartilage. It had been 19 months since my last bone density. The results were not good. I have a greatly increased thinning of some bones and in all, the picture is not pleasant. Well, I prayed for an answer and I got it. I have two ways to go: one, I ignore my body and have a great risk of having another fracture of something, maybe a hip next time. The second choice is to try a trial of this new medication which actually builds bone compared to other biphosphates I was on for many years which just sought to prevent further loss. You see, there are risks both ways. There appears to be a risk both ways but taking the meds, or at least trying them for awhile, seems to be the wisest decision. The wheels are turning toward getting pre-approval from our insurance company. The cost may be prohibitive. It looks like it could run any range from, with our co-pay, from $50 to $700 per month. Frankly, too much is just not doable for me so another answer will have to be revealed. We will see what develops. Thanks for your concerns dear girl. Love, Sue

    • Oh Chris, so sorry to hear about your dad and you. It must be taking it’s toll. You go and enjoy yourself tomorrow at the craft market and wow lunch out. Sounds like a good day that you certainly deserve. I’m sure it will do you the world of good. Have fun sweetpea!
      Love ya,
      Suzanne XXX

  4. Sue
    Well sue maybe as you say try it for a bit and see how it goes .it is a very exp drug. Does it mean it will cost you that much too?
    Hope you start to feel better at least from this bug,it would be something going your way!
    The expanse of scenery that you describe and I can imagine is breathtaking.in that respect and in your family you are lucky. Just give it a nudge to spread the other way too,or i will have a bloody good go!
    Chris

    • Chris, I think I need a translation for these American eyes for that last sentence you wrote. Time will tell me what I need to know about the new drug but it seems the only choice with some positive aspects. Hope you’re sleeping better these days. SO much on your mind, I know. Has your DD moved into her wonderful house yet? Sue

  5. Sue, I remember you sharing the gist of this story a few years ago. What a tale! A nightmare in many ways. But also an opportunity not to be missed. I think you are making wise decisions regarding what course to take with this newest health revelation, in my humble opinion. Unfortunately, cost will drive more than it should, but such is life. Growing tired here and I haven’t played my brain games yet today. I must get at them while I still have a little brain power remaining. Little George’s recovery doesn’t surprise me a bit. 😉

    • Lyn, Undoubtedly with the hundreds of blogs I’ve written over the years I have referred to this trip. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and totally unnoticed by my hostess. She has taught me much about how callus some people who believe they are our friends really can be. DD and I did have a memorable time. Now that she is married with two children, her life is very different. Hope that remark reminds all of you younger Moms to enjoy your kids before they begin to build lives of their own. I know you are one who wants her kids to build good lives like I always did but we do miss them terribly at times. Had a long talk with my son in TX yesterday and life seems to be whizzing by with that family. Life sure can be a speeding train at times. Hope your DD is enjoying her new position and SB will be home for Thanksgiving soon, right? It always seemed that time between Thanksgiving and Christmas whizzed by when I was away at college..in the cave days about 100 years ago. Hope you’re staying warm dear girl. Sue

  6. Well ok sue
    Here goes….I meant you are lucky with where you live and that you have a close family.then I meant if your luck with that would also spread to your health problems ..that is what we want..and if it didnt then iI would have is good go at pushing it that way for you…….so to speak!
    Comprende ? Or is it as clear as …..
    Nope still awake here and it’s nearly 3am..
    Chris

    • CHRIS…..TOTALLY “GOT” WHAT YOU MEANT FOR SUE, MY SENTIMENTS ENTIRELY, WILL CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER……..DON’T GET COLD MOOCHING ABOUT, HOPE YOU ARE WELL WRAPPED UP AGAINST THE COLD……….XX JENNIE XX

    • Chris dear, thanks for the translation. Push away. It would be fine but all of life is seldom wonderful for any of us. I’m always suspicious of those who claim it is. I also think we need reminding from time to time that many rocks are in the road of life besides health issues. Sue

  7. HI Sue,
    Another wonderful blog. Your trip story was very funny, yet sad. It’s very rough to learn that our friends can be callus and/or oblivious to our problems.
    I wrote a friend tonight and I was telling her of all the problems I’m having with Ed right now. But, then I told her, “although I don’t seem to have any happy news, know that I am happy and content. I’ve learned to let go of the things I cannot fix, and I whittle away at those I can.”
    Life doesn’t go the way I want, or the way I planned. But I have found it’s much the same for well folks, too. How many people have we all heard say “if only”, or “I wish I had ___ instead of ___”? My personal favorite is “if I could live my life over again, I’d.” Truth is, I think if we could live our life over, we’d do the same darn things. For some reason we’re not to understand yet, we’re all where we’re supposed to be.
    I used to know a lady who irritated the crap out of me. Ed told me “just use her as an example of what you don’t want to be like, that’s the best some folks have to offer.” She was a victim and a whiner, neither of which I want to be. She wanted pity and sympathy, I don’t. I want to trudge along, do what I can, and be happy that I can do anything at all. I want to be content with what I do have, and not be wrapped up in what I don’t have. I know there are lots who have much less than I do. So, I am blessed.

    Jennie, I’m concerned that you have cystitis again. I was never one to have that very often, even though we ladies are prone to. But twice I had problems with it. The last was when I began taking the biologic drugs which take away the immune system. I would have cystitis at least once a month for about 6 months. The other time was when I was doing water aerobics at the local “Y”. I was never sure if it was the water or the chlorine, but once I quit going, the problem stopped. But for the several months I went, if I was in that water at least once that week, I had cystitis. So, please consider if you’ve had a change in medications or if you’re doing something different. AS Sue said, drink lots of fluids and drink cranberry juice. I hope this clears up for you soon. Oh, in young girls, bubble bath and panties with anything other than a cotton crotch can cause cystitis. I imagine that could work on us just the same.
    Sue, I wonder if all nurses are like I am about nudity. I wouldn’t care if everyone in the room was nude, wouldn’t even stare, so long as I’m clothed. I’ve seen so many bodies in my lifetime, they just don’t phase me. But, I haven’t shown my body any more than I had to!

    Laura, I don’t think I’ve told you, but I’m so sorry for the loss of your babies. I do know they had a happy life with you. I also know how hard it is when we lose them. I wish dogs had a longer lifespan, so they could stay with us most of our life, but that’s not the way He thought it should be.
    I’ve rattled on enough. Love and prayers to all.
    Linda

    • Linda, it is good to have you back with us on a regular basis. You are feeling deep and that’s a good thing. I was reading one of my favorite old Christian metaphysical writers the other day, Glenn Clark. The subject was prayer and if it made a difference. He discussed it beautifully for all who say, what difference does it make if we are already preordained to have something happen. He kept bringing it back to, God knew ahead of time if you were going to pray, therefore was it predetermined? You can get happily lost in such thoughts. I won’t ask about what’s going on with your DH but know we care and are always here for you. Love ya, Sue

      • Sue, that’s one of the few things I think I have figured out. I don’t think we’re preordained to do anything, but I think God knows what we will do. He doesn’t “make” us do it, but he knows that we will. As for him knowing what I’m going to pray, perhaps he does, but I pray as much for comfort for myself as I do to communicate with Him. For me, it’s like talking things over with the best, most understanding and forgiving parent in the world. And, at times, when my heart is really aching, I only pray “can I sit on your lap a while and you hold me and keep me safe?” I have fallen asleep many times, just comforted in His arms. I was raised in a “hell-fire and damnation” church, but in my late teens, I rejected that, and chose to worship and loving and comforting God. I am much happier with a God I can love because He first loved me and will forgive me anything, than I was with a God who was just waiting for my first slip so He could throw me into hell.

        Same with the question “why do bad things happen to good people?” I think it’s because we have free will, and a lot of us don’t use that wisely. I think there is a point where really evil people made a decision, conscious or not, that it’s okay for them to do evil. And, some of us just make really dumb choices. (Personally, I am an expert at this one).

        Sue, the problems with DH are the same as they were a year ago, he’s just dropped out of life. He has left the house 3 times this year. He seldom leaves his room, and that’s just for coffee or bathroom. All the joy has gone out of his life. He seldom talks to anyone, none of his old friends, and not even to me. He does see that the bills get paid, but that’s about it. There’s more, but you get the gist, I’m sure, he’s just got a big major depression going on. I can’t help him and can’t get him to help himself. I did write a letter to his doctor (at my doctor’s suggestion), outlining all of his behaviors, and asking him to look into it. I also told him that Ed says he lies when asked certain questions. MY doctor told me to send it certified, and, being the “matter of fact” type person that he is, he said “that will at least ensure, if they don’t help him, you’ll have the ability to make your widowhood financially comfortable”. But, as I told my friend, in spite of it all, I am happy and content; I do what I can, and to this point I know I have done all I can do. He has not said or done anything that would give me reason to have him forcefully evaluated, but if it comes to that, I’ll do it. Everything in it’s time. So, prayers are appreciated.

        I don’t know anything about that new med you’re considering. But, with every new med, I remember what my pharmacology instructor told us in nursing school “a medication is something you put into your body in the hopes that it will help something before it kills you.” I was very afraid to start the biologics, since they make one more prone to cancers, and I already am high risk with the Crohn’s and family history. But I decided that I have to die someday, as we all do, and while I was living, I needed to try to improve the quality of life I had. This was my best option, I thought. As you said, all of us react differently to meds, so this may never be an issue. I’ll know when the time comes for me to know. Right now, I’m not running to the bathroom 25-30 times a day, I”m not losing a pound a day for weeks without end, and I don’t have the pain and cramping in my abdomen, and I do not have malnutrition. So, I feel like I made the best choice for now. Today is all I can take care of, “forever” is just too overwhelming.
        love, hugs, prayers,
        Linda S

  8. Hi there! I can’t believe all you went through during that trip. I think it would have killed me. But you certainly had me laughing at times. You are so right Sue, we are in control and have to keep remembering that. You my dear are an inspiration to all of us. All you have been through and all you are going through now and you are still able to write the blog. When do you have to make a decision on what you are going to do. Is there a time frame on that? I’m praying for guidance from above my sweet Sue.
    Jennie hope the bladder gets better, DRINK, DRINK. DRINK. It really does help, doesn’t it. Do you have to take meds for that?
    Bobsled, do hope life is slowly returning to normal. It is always very difficult to lose a furry member of the family. A year ago now I lost my sweet friend and often times I will call my new pup (10 months old now) Ziggy i/o Molly. I still miss her so much but the pain is not as raw now.
    Just to keep you posted saw my GP this week and she seemed very surprised that the Rheumy had not yet called. Not much surprises me anymore. I would say I’m more upset I just NEED TO SEE A RHEUMY. I’m still on prednisone 50 mg, also Plaquenil 200 mg twice a day and my pain killers. I wonder if the pain will ever go away or if this is it for the rest of my life. The pills help but only for a certain amount of time and I can no longer do many things even with the pills. Guess I’m learning new things everyday about this body of mine. I think I will ask Santa (since I’ve been a darn good girl this year) for an electric can opener. Ha ha. My right hand is just not working well anymore. The doc is also sending me for a test , dear can’t remember the name now, for my hands to see if they can eliminate carpel tunnel syndrome. My right hand is forever swollen and hot and painful. Left one not as bad, but I think it’s cause I’m right handed.
    Praying for everyone here and hope you all have a peaceful, joyful weekend. Love to all
    Suzanne XXX

    • Hi Happy SUzanne, I agree..you should have heard from the rheumy by now..keep pushing for your own sake. I must ask if you really are on 50 mg of prednisone and if so, how long have you been on that dose? That is so much it would worry me. I hope it was a typo on your part.
      I also have carpal tunnel and have trouble lifting heavy pans, etc. My rheumy told me to sleep with a wrist splint on the worse one, my right wrist because we all curl up when we sleep. This is why I also sleep in a soft cervical collar. It keep the neck from kinking. Strange all that we have to do, and yes, sometimes for the rest of our lives but the key word is alive. Hang in there my dear. Sue

  9. I seem to remember wearing a towel! And thank you for saying that I at least used to be perky on any part! It was one of the best times of my life. I will always be here for you no matter what you go through.

  10. Wow: Good morning all
    I just didn’t have the space of mind to read this last night. I sat with Ms Alice until 5, then home , fed all the animals, and went straight to church to work on crafts. BUT…really thought provoking and well said Ms Sue. The Bible says, we are all “given a measure of faith”, that is we are born it. But in our lifetime we either exercise it and let it expand and grow or we neglect it and it withers into nothingness. Faithless peoples are the downfall of civilizations. I know that trip was terrible on you, but it gave you lessons and also fond memories with your daughter and money can’t buy them !! We are still in prayer over your meds, God will make a way for you. We gotta hang on dear friend. Like you said, our future is really not supposed to be laid out in front of us like that. AND like messing up our made plans, He LOVES to show off and make Dr’s out wrong. I so hate you still have this virus. Take care of you.
    Love
    Tonie

    • Tonie, it sounds like your cold virus is still hanging onto you. That was a full day for you yesterday. Is Ms Alice over her cold? I’m feeling better but still fighting the gut business. Day to day…that’s the ticket. I did hold my methotrexate for a few days so see if I can recover faster. Cold here with a bit of rain last night. I must get on with my morning and get off of the computer and get into a shower. George has been running around like crazy and is now konked out on the foot of the bed. Think I’ll pop him into his kennel and hit that cold bathroom downstairs. It was added on many years ago and has three outside walls around it and always needs a bit of extra heat. How’s the website going? Hope you get some mix today of productivity and rest. Love, Sue

  11. Jennie:
    SO sorry to hear you are hit with that illness again. Drink up lass, and not saki !! 🙂
    Linda S good to see you on here again, looking like old times now !! Sorry you are going through yet more trauma. Prayers for you dear.
    Chris: Guess what ! I knew what you were saying to Sue, or the jist of it. Guess it is from talking Brit to Jennie Poo !! So much of our slang is from our Briton ancestors that it is fun to figure out the speech. Have fun at your outing today. I remember Christmas in Germany, so different and beautiful. The small villages all lit up, the shops and wares and festivals at the castles. I would love to see your end of it. Take care.
    Nana B, I know you are on the other blog, but wanted to reply here to you. I was up early this am as well. I do however see a nap in the near future as I need to rest today. Woke up with a very scratchy throat and itchy ears and that don’t bode well for me. It is raining here, yet warmer so no heating required. But the damp has me aching at every angle, so gotta go take some pills !!
    I pray you all have a wonderful weekend.
    Love
    Tonie

  12. OH MY GOSH, I AM SO BLOOMING COLD, CAN’T BELIEVE THE CHANGE NOW. TRYING TO WRITE THIS WITH FROZEN FINGERS, WHILST LISTENING TO MY DH SWEARING AND CURSING, TRYING TO GET THE NEW TOILET SEAT ON, HE WILL BE WEARING IT IF HE KEEPS THAT UP. JUST HEARD FROM A FRIEND OF MINE IN FLORIDA, HE HAS SENT ME AN ADDRESS SO I CAN TRY AND TRACE INFORMATION OF THE FALLEN US AIRFORCE PILOT BURIED NEAR US HERE IN FRANCE………I LOVE A CHALLENGE, AND I WANT SO MUCH TO KNOW ABOUT THIS BRAVE MAN WHO IS HONOURED BY THE FRENCH. I WILL TELL ALL WHEN/IF I HAVE SUCCESS. I HOPE THOSE OF YOU LIVING IN A COLD CLIMATE LIKE MYSELF ARE KEEPING WARM, AND EATING WELL. MY CYSTITIS WILL GO, AND I HAVE TAKEN ON BOARD ALL YOUR ADVICE FOR WHICH I THANK YOU MY FRIENDS. CHRIS, I DO MISS THOSE CHRISTMAS MARKETS, AND SUE I ENVY YOU YOUR FAMILY SUPPORT, BUT I AM SO GLAD YOU HAVE IT, GEORGE IS NOW OVER HIS LITTLE OP AND UP TO HIS TRICKS AGAIN RAISING LAUGHTER IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD, SO THAT AT LEAST IS BACK TO NORMAL.
    SUE, I THINK IF YOU ARE JUST TRIAL THIS DRUG FOR SAY X AMOUNT OF MONTHS, THEN IF THERE ARE NOT REALLY BAD SIDE EFFECTS, YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO GIVE IT THE GREEN LIGHT, I KNOW IT MUST BE PRETTY TEMPTING RATHER THAN A HIP FRACTURE OR OTHER. YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY GIVEN IT A GREAT DEAL OF THOUGHT, AND I WILL PRAY FOR YOU THAT IT GOES WELL AND THE RELIEF WILL BE TANGIBLE. TONIE, LAURA, LYN, NANA BRENDA AND SUZANNE AND IF I FORGOT SOMEONE I AM SORRY, BUT YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS THIS WEEKEND, WE ALL HAVE OUR SEPERATE ILLNESSES AND WORRIES, BUT ALL COME TOGETHER HERE IN A COMMON CAUSE. I LOVE YOU ALL HAPPY WEEKEND………….GOD BLESS, JENNIE XX

    • Jennie, You are tenacious and kind in regards to the fallen flyer. Interesting how so many of us are into history. I have a DNA kit sitting here that my daughter bought and wants me to take to check on our ancestors in my blood. It is intriguing.
      The new drug just builds bone. I don’t expect it to change my life, just to build it stronger. The side effects are scary but so are the other possibilities. All any of us can do is to be informed and try. I’m taking it one day at a time and feel it is and will be revealed to me as needed by me and for my life. I have faith in the future and what is meant to be for my life.
      How’s DH coming along with that toilet seat? You know we don’t let Jim do much of that sort of thing. It just isn’t on his list of talents and all handyman duties bring out the cursing with him. Think he flunked wood shop in high school and it left a mark on him forever. I know it’s psychological because he leaves any tools he seldom uses laying around but our cars are kept in immaculate condition.
      Hope that wood pile is growing…Love you much, Sue

  13. HI ALL, BE SURE TO CHECK FOR ENTRIES ON THE LAST BLOG, HIDDEN TREASURES FOR AN ENTRY FROM NANA BRENDA ON THE 14TH AND CHRIS TODAY, THE 16TH. SUE

  14. Oh yea
    So I did,….what a klutz!
    Shame you can’t transfer post over…don’t know how it happened.i spoke to a few too
    I think I clicked on nana Brenda and then followed it thru..I think ..dunno.im not the cleverest in the onion patch! Been to sleep and woke up not the best then
    Be back chris

      • Chris, in case I didn’t say it…I do appreciate your well wishes and wish also that my health had the grandeur of our surroundings here in the Pacific NW. Love you…Sue

  15. Hi everyone. Well, think I may possibly have overdone maybe sort of….lol. I drove an hour away to an area known for Amish folks, tourist area, restaurants and shops. Living where I do, I’m rather surrounded by the plain folk, Mennonite, Amish, Brethren and have myself attended a Quaker meeting house (all Anabaptist) when I was searching for a church home (long before becoming Catholic). I suspect that Lynlee is surrounded by the same in Pennsylvania where they first migrated with encouragement of William Penn. When land got too expensive for large farms (they tend to have large families) the people moved west to Ohio, Indiana, Michigan and onward. I actually have settlements north, west and south of where I live but not communities that encourage the tourist dollar. Well, anyway, I went primarily to get a specific pie from Dass Essenhaus in Middlebury Indiana for my friend Sr Judy that is having more issues with her cancer treatment (pathology showed the cancer was in some of her lymph tissue removed during her mastectomy after her surgeon blew sunshine up her butt telling her that all looked great and she would be ok. She has to have more chemo and radiation) Anyhow, I wanted to surprise her with her favorite pie from that restaurant and she was so tickled. I however couldn’t walk by the time I got home (barometer major drop) despite having behaved and having a short trip of an hour each way. Thank heavens for Nessie helping me get in the house. Sitting here just before I started to type I had major cramping in one foot and the ointment I use for joint pain I had bought more while I was there (Unker’s Ointment a nifty 6 ingredient menthol based ointment). I had it unopened and wasn’t sure I could get it open fast enough. Worked a dream though thank heavens within a minute or 2. Much better than anything else I get for so many uses including colds, achy joints etc…

    I’m getting used to Cupid being gone even though I called her to come in this evening. Pow is still thriving after her surgery. She will turn 14 next Friday November 22. She’s bounding outside and playing with toys still. The other 2 shelties are doing fine as well. They get baths tomorrow, they will not be impressed but tough.

    I admit I am a little tickled at the comments about husbands and handyman stuff around the house. I’m so used to doing all that stuff for myself as my dad taught my sister and I basic home repair and we are competent to change out entire plumbing fixtures (full toilets, faucets, sink/drains), change light switches, electric outlets, door knobs/lock sets including dead bolts, hinges, small engine repair etc… Good thing too being a spinster.

    As many of the other nurses, I’m amazingly modest and prefer to remain clothed when anyone is present. Other people’s bodies don’t bother me although I do practice custody of the eyes unless I’m preforming medical care.

    Suzanne, I’m as concerned about the large dose of Prednisone as Sue is. I was on Plaquinel for a short time but it wasn’t the medication for me. I have a pillow splint for my hands/wrists that I wear at times.

    Supposed to have thunderstorms tonight and tomorrow, love weather that can’t make up it’s mind, snow last week.

    Take care everyone.

    • LAURA……….I WAS INTERESTED TO READ ABOUT THE AMISH, AND THAT YOU ATTENDED THEIR CHURCH, WHAT WAS IT LIKE??? ………..GOSH YOU ARE SUCH A TALENTED LADY, WISH I COULD DO ALL THAT DIY STUFF………..KEEP WELL MY FRIEND……LOVE JENNIE X

    • Bobsled, We haven’t had such a long newsy and enjoyable post from you in a long time. How interesting to hear about the Amish migration. We are our history and the more we know, the wiser we become. I can imagine their food items are wonderful. It’s always interested me how the Amish and the Mennonite have kept their values while living more or less in the midst of this crazy world; you have to admire that.
      I am so concerned about your safety or disruption today with the news about your weather. Please stay safe as you can. Do any of the dogs become with winds and weather? You’re such a good Mom I know you’re on top of it.
      It does sound like quite a day on your body yesterday even thought the spirit was fed. I must ask what kind of pie you bought for your friend. I agree with you. How awful for her to be given false hope like that. Prayers for her healing and endurance through treatment. I wish her peace on her journey and she is fortunate to have a friend like you.
      I’ve never heard of that ointment but am pleased you have found it and it gives you relief. I shy away from anything with menthol or eucalyptus oil in it because of my Sjogren’s syndrome. The smallest amount of it getting into a dry eye can ruin a whole day and be miserable..
      You are fortunate to have had a father who taught so much handyman info. I think it’s a bit different for those of us in relationships because we may have more of a pattern of responsibilities than you do. You can do what you wish. We have male laundry on top of our own, dinner to feed a hungry working guy, etc. Jim is not a bit handy but he does have the strength to haul stuff for me, open jars, etc. We pay for all the other stuff to get done.
      I pray your weather day is not too bad and will check the weather when I finish this. We’re just wet and cold. Love you, and now rest up. Sue

  16. Morning all you peeps !
    It is a warm and balmy 53 here ! Crazy weather indeed BSL ! Sounds like you have an interesting area around you. We have gained settlements of Amish here since I have been gone. Not sure where they live though. But they have stores in town.
    I spent most of yesterday laying down. I think the long week and the cold virus did me in. Sue, Ms Alice is still nursing a bit of the cold but she is feeling better. She ate real good on Friday. I was supposed to go and work on the website yesterday with Carol, but didn’t make it. Hopefully we will do better this week ! It is a busy time of year, and hard to manage the “spoons”. Guess I am gonna have to start counting them again !
    Suzanne, I hope you get in to see that RA Dr soon. Keep on pushing and we will keep praying.
    Chris, my goodness you have lived all over haven’t ya ?? When were you in Germany ? I was there in the early 80’s. In a little town called Babenhausen. Right in between Darmstadt and Aushafenburg. Beautiful but so COLD !
    I still have my house torn up (when is it ever gonna NOT be ?) and need to do some work on it Monday. I have to go pickup the Lyrica Mon as well. So we will see how much gets done 🙂
    Have a good day all of you
    Sue cuddle with Mr George and feel better.
    Love to you all
    tonie

    • HI TONIE LOVE,
      WELL I AM SO GLAD MISS ALICE’S COLD HAS CLEARED UP, ITS ALWAYS A WORRY WHEN FOLKS ARE OLDER. I AGREE GERMANY IS BEAUTIFUL AND A LOT LIKE FRANCE, WITH SIMILAR HOUSES, WHEN I WENT THERE WITH MY MOM BEFORE LEAVING ENGLAND, THE THING I LIKED WAS IN THE VILLAGES WHERE ALL THE WOMEN WOULD HANG THEIR QUILTS OUT OF THE WINOWS TO AIR, NOW CALLME A THICKO IF YOU LIKE, BUT I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW THEY KEPT CLEAN, I MEAN YOU DON’T WASH YOUR WINDOW LEDGES DO YOU? I HOPE YOU ARE FEELING A LOT BETTER THAN LAST WEEK TONIE, AND GETTING SOME ENERGY BACK………LOVE YOU….JEN X

      • Jennie
        I bet they do clean their ledges there too.!
        I used to like the idea.bit cold in the winter with all big windows open for ages
        Hope all well
        Chris

      • Dear Jen, I suspect Chris is right and the German window who air their laundry out the window DO wash those ledges. Can’t know for certain.
        Hope your cystitis is better by now or at least getting there. We are also very cold and yesterday my brief trip to the store left my toes frozen. Wish those large stores would turn up the heat a bit. I miss wearing wool socks which I’ve always done up here in the NW but haven’t been able to find a pair loose enough to feel good on my poor ankles. Cotton socks just don’t do it. Some days I think it’s all the little things that get me down. I have conjunctivitis in one eye right now, gut aches and it’s always something. You would think I would be used to it by now but not the case. Each day we seem to start over, don’t you think?
        How are those chickens faring in the cold, off and on weather? Are you still visiting the neighbors horse?
        Jim is having a colonoscopy on Wed and tonight is his “last supper.” Liquids after that..poor guy.
        Hope your Sunday is a blessed one dear girl. Love, Sue

      • Jennie, when I was there the little village I lived in, they even mopped and swept the street in front of their houses, so I am sure they cleaned the sills. I have a feather bed and occasionally I set it out to air out. Makes it smell better.

    • Tonie, I think the Amish and the other separate communities are probably looking for unspoiled areas of our country. Probably getting more and more difficult to do. It does seem to take those of us with autoimmune issues longer to get over these viruses. We just have to wait it out.
      We’re having quite a downpour at the moment…when you can hear those drops aided by wind hit the roof and windows.
      I’ve never been to Germany but it does seem to exemplify many of the crafts and traditions of Christmas. History tells us Prince Albert, being German, introduced Christmas trees to England eventually, to us, the rebels.
      Cuddling with George is compulsory. He won’t take no for an answer. What a character he is and brings with him so much joy which I’ve needed this summer and fall, more than usual. These angels with four wet feet can bring so much pleasure into our lives. They are wet up here..always.
      I’ve ordered a new water hog mat from LLBean and hope it catches some of this foot traffic. Tonie, I like my new steam mop you recommended. It’s light and easy.
      Hope you get some rest today..well, just do it. The house can wait. I’ve concluded small spaces are always cluttered..as frustrating as it is. Love you..Sue

      • Hey Susie Q !
        I agree with you, the four footed loves of our lives bring so much joy don’t they ?? I am making friends with a big Tennessee Walker gelding I hope to have as my own come spring. He is 23, yet still a beauty and full of life. He belonged to a lady who got killed last year, and the man who has him just wants someone who will take care of him. Sean has already said to get him now, but I will wait until I can pay for his feed. He is very skittish about being touched as he has been abused a bit before. But I got me a box of sugar cubes in the car and when I go by I stop and give him some. He is getting closer to me little by little. He will soon be my buddy. It takes time and love to win their hearts. I saw him watching me yesterday when I was calling the dogs, so he is starting to know my voice. I have been sitting and knitting today, making scarves for my young’uns. Quick and easy and something I can afford 🙂 . Glad you like the steam mop. It is such a good tool to use, and cleans so easily. I have rugs all in front of the door to eat up some of the grit these two of mine bring in. I am thinking now that the roof is over the landing it will be better. I am having youth service tonight and of course THanksgiving is the theme. I have a lot to be thankful for this year, and serenity is the biggest thing. You are right, the house has waited a year now 🙂 I will do things as I can, but I do want to get a few tided up before I decorate for Christmas. Hope you are feeling better, still praying for that shot and the right results.
        God bless
        TOnie

  17. I DON’T BLOOMING BELIEVE THIS………….WROTE A BIG POST TO EVERYONE, AND ITS GONE LIKE IT NEVER WAS, DON’T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS??
    SUE…..YES I WAS TEMPTED TO HANG THE TOILET SEAT ROUND DH’S NECK, BUT HE WOULD HAVE GOT ME BACK SOMEHOW, HE IS A BIG PRACTICAL JOKER, SO WHO KNOWS WHAT HE WOULD HAVE DONE. DID YOU EVER GET YOUR DODGY TOILET FIXED, I CAN’T REMEMBER NOW. DO YOU START ON THE DRUGS IN THE NEW YEAR? I SEEM TO REMEMBER YOU SAYING ABOUT HEALTH INSURANCE. I ADMIT I AM SCARED FOR YOU AND THE SIDE EFFECTS, BUT THE ALTERNATIVE IS JUST AS SCAREY. I GOT SOME GOOD NEWS TODAY, WELL I HOPE SO, WILL KNOW MORE TOMORROW, BUT THE KIDS ARE COMING FOR XMAS, AND I AM THAT EXCITED, IT WILL BE JUST THE TONIC NEEDED AFTER MY DH GETS HOME FROM HOSPITAL. A LOT DEPENDS ON CLAIRE’S BOSS GIVING HER LEAVE OR NOT. THEY WILL ONLY HAVE A FEW DAYS, AND WILL HAVE TO HEAD HOME LATE CHRISTMAS AFTERNOON, SO PERHAPS I WILL DO THE MAIN MEAL ON CHRISTMAS EVE, DO YOU THINK? I HOPE YOU ARE OK SUE, I KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN SO UNWELL AND HAVING TO WRITE THE BLOG AND ALL, PLEASE GET AS MUCH REST AS YOU CAN MY DEAR FRIEND….LOVE YOU….JENNIE.XX

    • Oh Jennie I am so happy !! Let us pray that they will get more time than thought ! We have always had our main meal on Christmas Eve and then ate leftovers on the Day. Works out great for me now. I know that will brighten your life greatly. Be careful DH might saran wrap your toilet seat !! 🙂
      Love
      Tonie

      • Jennie
        The queen always has ther present opening Christmas Eve..must be a tradition frm Prince Albert as they do that in Germany
        Speak later…Chris

    • Jennie, that’s the best news ever about the kids coming for Christmas. Knowing you, you will bake yourself silly and it will all be wonderful. Why not eat on Christmas Eve?. Think of all the great picnic food you can send them off with. We always have our big meal on the Eve, then have a brunch at the kids house after the children have opened their presents. I usually make homemade cinnamon rolls or sticky buns hot out of the oven. Every year my SIL accuses me of being responsible for loosening a crown or two in his mouth. Brunch gives me time to bake them in the AM. I’m usually in the kitchen after everyone leave Chr. Eve rolling out dough. They rise overnight.. I find Christmas eve more festive..guess it’s the lights and the carols.
      Let’s pray the weather is better than the Arctic freeze Tim got stuck in last year. Much love, Sue

      • HI SUE……..I DO HOPE YOU ARE VIRUS FREE NOW, AND THAT YOUR EYE AND GUT ARE MORE COMFORTABLE. I HAD TO SEE MY DOC THIS MORNING AS I WOKE UP IN A HELL OF A STATE, I WAS BURNING DOWN BELOW, AND MY KIDNEYS WERE TUGGING AT ME. GOT THE USUAL ANTIBIOTICS, BUT A DIFFERENT SORT THIS TIME, COTRIMOXAZOLE (RATIOPHARM) 800MG. ALSO HE HAS SENT A URINE TEST TO THE LABARATOIRE, SHOULD KNOW MORE IN 3/4 DAYS. FANCY YOU REMEMBERING ABOUT TIM BEING STUCK IN THE SNOW THAT TIME WHEN HE CAME HERE, THAT WAS 2YRS AGO SUE……BLIMEY! WELL DONE. IT WAS A BIT OF A BUGGER, ONLY GOT TO SEE HIM FOR 48 HOURS IN THE END. THIS TIME IF ALL GOES WELL CLAIRE WILL BE WITH HIM AND CAN TAKE OVER THE DRIVING IF NEEDED.
        I HAVE READ ALL THE POSTS, AND I AM IN AGREEANCE WITH YOU ALL, WHY NOT HAVE THE BIG FEED CHRISTMAS EVE…………WHEN MY MOM BECAME A DUTCH CITIZEN, SHE ALWAYS DID TOO.
        HOMEMADE CINNAMON ROLLS, WHO THE HECK CAN RESIST THOSE, GONNA MAKE ME SOME FOR THE KIDS, AND ENGLISH SCONES WITH STRAW…………Y, NO I CAN’T FINISH THAT BLOOMIN’ WORD…..AND CREAM. I HATE HAVING TO ASK SOMEONE TO UNSCREW A JAR TOO, I REMEMBER ONE DAY MAKING A SURPRISE DINNER FOR DH, I NEEDED THIS BLASTED JAR OF SUNDRIED TOMATOES OPENING, COULD I DO IT……NO CHANCE, I GOT SO CROSS WITH MYSELF, I THREW IT IN THE POND….I FORGOT ALL ABOUT THEM TILL TIM WAS OVER AND OFFERED TO CLEAN THE POND FOR MY DH………HE CAME IN WITH THIS ERE’ JAR, WHICH WAS MINGING BY NOW, “BLIMEY MOM” SAID HE, “IS THIS WHAT THEY FEED FRENCH FISH WITH” GOT SUCH A LOOK FROM DH. LOVE YOU SUE…..GET BETTER SOON. XX

        TONIE…….DO YOU MEAN CLINGFILM WRAP OVER THE TOILET SEAT, IF SO, HE ALREADY THOUGHT OF THAT. YOU OK DARLING?
        CHRIS…..WILL MAIL YOU ASAP XX
        HI BOBSLED…HAPPY 59…..LYN….MARTHA AND ANNIE AND DONNA……MY LOVE TO YOU ALL, KEEPING YOU ALL IN MY PRAYERS…..GOD BLESS XXXXXXXXX

  18. Sue~~~~
    I have learned how fast FEAR can sneak up~~usually hitting me while I am in the midst of another big Cycle of Pain!! When I fell from a tree over 17 years ago, my Butt took the full impact. Nothing has been the same since and I deal each day with this Wicked Pain in my butt~~~lately (about a month now) the Ischial Area of my butt is dishing out a load of misery. Tried all the tests~~MRI, Physical Therapy (stretching) and even a New type of Steroid patch put directly on the “Area of Pain”–for two hours only. Nothing eases this Pain–nothing… I see my Pain Management doc this week and hoping she will consider doing a Steroid Injection! There is also Scar Tissue issues from Piriformus Surgeries–the list does go on and on….

    Its not an Easy path to walk~~~but I choose to push forward and do something instead of Nothing!! There are days when I Curse the Tree and Me~~~but then I stop because it does no good for me to constantly BLAME myself….. Sorry for taking up so much “Space” with this posting–but your words helped me so much~~~~I keep learning in this battle with Pain and as you share more of your story~~
    I am inspired to push, push, push…. Praying you will reach a decision about this new Medicine and praying hard for your Pain to find a “Peaceful” spot to sit on!!!!

    Blessings to you Sue….
    Martha

    • Dear Martha, Isn’t it strange how one can feel so close to someone I’ve never met? Not being able to sit can change one’s life so very much and believe me…I know this big time. Sweet friend, it’s time to chop down that damn tree…even if it is done metaphorically or with a chain saw.
      I pray you can find some activity, talent or interest that you can turn to when you get maudlin over your health. I realize that is asking a great of you but it will bring some healing.
      Having dealt with the SI joints and the rear in general for so many years, I must ask if you have had the length of your legs checked. When I have fallen on my rear, and it’s happened often, the sacroiliac joints have shifted. The shift causes enormous pain and it does not necessarily show up on an Xray because even a small amount can be totally miserable.
      I know you are a woman of tremendous expressive gifts and pray you open all of those full throttle. They were given to you for a reason. When you’re tempted to look back…make yourself look forward.
      Have you ever read my poem ODE TO MY ASS? If not, and you can’t find it on everyday health.com, let me know your email address and I will send it to you. I want you to read it. It’s been published in a couple of other places and I know each line will speak to you. Much love, hugs and prayers for comfort and direction. Sue

      • I saw the NAME of your Poem and smiled!! Yes I will find it and have a fantastic laugh~~~its amazing in this “Blogging World’ as to how many people we meet–although we might never see them (except for Skype) I agree with you as to how comfortable I feel in sharing our ups and downs… Its a wonderful blessing to have in this see/saw battle with Pain~~~I wanted to touch on something you said about “Cutting that Tree Down”—its been gone for YEARS now!! Yet the actual removal of it was a nightmare~~my husband attacked it with a determination I had never seen before. As I stood inside our home–suddenly I could see a glimmer of his pent-up anger at the Tree, knowing how much had been taken from our lives. Our son helped him, the neighbor stayed inside too. But the TREE was not finished–late that night I hear an urgent plea from my husband and I hurry to our Bedroom~~~only to realize the Tree had produced another victim as my husband now had a substantial HERNIA from tossing huge logs over a fence. Our son was sick with allergic reaction to the dust and our neighbor missed a week from work–same problem. That was one wicked TREE……… Now a lovely rock patio covers the area where it once stood….

        I never knew how much I would DREAD the act of sitting~~~never……… Thank you for the kinds words Sue—I keep learning to find new things to try—-its pretty amazing how resourceful we can really become. You are in my prayers Sue—truly… Blessings..martha

  19. Tonie, A Tennessee Walker. How beautiful and I know you are anxious but do understand how expensive feed must be back there. It does give you something to look forward to …greatly. You’ll have won him over by then if he doesn’t become a diabetic.Ha Ha. I’m not a horse person and you’ve taught me bribery works well for them. Glad you got to talk to the grands the other night. Know that did your soul some good. You’ll have to let me know how they’re all doing. Loved the new pic on FB with little Dalton. You both look wonderful.
    Still have headache and some gut stuff. Have still held off on the methotrexate so far this week. You’re right of course…there is something so healthy about being thankful.
    I just called to reserve a free range turkey at out local co-op. Already hungry. Trying to get a jump on the preparations so I don’t collapse on the holiday. Later dear heart…Love, Sue

    • Sue:
      Love and trust is how you win a horse over for life. You can cower them down if you want to go that way, but just like any animal, love and trust is best. When I went to church a while ago, they were still up at the fence so I stopped and called to them and they were watching me, so yes bribery works as well 🙂 Yes, by springtime he should be my good friend and hopefully I will be able to catch and groom him. They graze all summer, so no food necessary until winter. Maybe a little grain as a treat once in a while. Free range turkey, we have those here, except, ya gotta shoot em !! 🙂 I am going to get to baking this week, and freeze it until I send/use it. Cooking on Thanksgiving, I am looking forward to, kinda like catering !! Carol is making a cake for them, the sister is cooking the onions in cream, (she was a home ec teacher !) I am doing turkey,dressing,pie, and sides. Should be fun. Then Sat is a parade in our little town and we are gonna do something in it. More fun ! But lots of work and lots of prayers to stay healthy !!
      I was telling Millie about your little George. She was laughing over the pee pads, said since she has to get up so often, she thought she would get one to go by the bed !!! We were hee-hawing over this. She says” think about that a bit” I said NO ! I already had a visual ! Take care dear I will talk to you soon.
      Love
      Tonie

  20. Linda S., I think you beautifully expressed your faith and philosophy. I think as Christians it is good for us to delve in more deeply and see the depth of what we truly believe drives our lives. If we believe in an omniscient God, then He does know every hair, every sparrow that falls and what we are going to do, before we do it.We not only help each other with our prayers but we help ourselves and learn the depths of caring and love for our fellowman.
    Linda, I am sorry to hear your DH is still in the throes of depression. You must be a very strong person to live with the heaviness of it every day. I know you must worry greatly as well as miss him. I wish he could get some help but you’re right, he has to take that step for himself. I’ve been so aware lately at just how brief this span of life is and despair for any of us who lose a day to pain or suffering of any form. I grieve for you having his companionship, also. It’s late so I will close for tonight. Love you..Sue

  21. Linda S
    Thankyou for putting what you are going thru at the moment so open and honestly. If we can all be of help in anyway we would and can at least be here on this blog.thinking of you and wish that it could be more
    Chris

  22. Linda S:
    (thank you guys for reminding me I didn’t write a good reply) We have missed you so much on here. I truly understand the religion of your youth for my mother was of that mindset. Vengeful and damning God. Which He is when He is due, but He is also one of loving kindness and compassion. Which is why He sent His son to us, that we might have someone to plead our cause for us. Once I got over the “scared” religion, it came quite naturally. Without Him, (as the song says) “I would be nothing, without Him I’d surely fail” I am so sorry for what you are going through, and even though you have not been in my eye of late, I still pray for you and think of you. We will pray that your dh will seek some help, or better yet, just be healed. Take care friend and know I am here if you ever need to talk.
    hugs
    Tonie

  23. Oh, my gosh! Apparently it’s been a day or two since I checked in and the comments have exploded again! I started skimming once I realized how many new ones there were, so I have a gist of what’s been happening. I fear it is pointless for me to read in depth anyway since I am definitely of the foggy brained today. Also feeling kind of crappy. Can probably blame the weather on some of it. I think we got Bobsled’s storm in the middle of the night. We woke to such a blowing and rain! The electric flicked off and on a couple of times, but we never fully lost it.
    Yes, Bobsled, I’ve had Amish and Mennonite around my entire life, where I grew up and where we are living now. I sometimes forget that others don’t know much if anything about them. They’d be really shocked to take the drive we did yesterday. We passed no fewer than 5 buggies on the way to the theater to see a Christmas show. I’d also be interested in what kind of pie you purchased, BSL. Today is DH’s birthday and he wanted to go to an area smorgasbord for breakfast. I managed to snag a little taste of whoopee pie and shoofly pie before leaving. 😉 Guess who won’t be eating lunch today… Now I need to figure out what I’m making for dinner and bake my man a cake.

    • Lyn, I loved the picture you painted of your area..so quaint in many aspects. Hope DH is having a good birthday and am curious what kind of cake you baked. Sounds like your breakfast was delicious. I’ ve had shoofly pie but wonder what whoopee pie is. Oh it’s that time of year for good food…Hope you’re staying safe. Love, Sue

      • Sue, I ended up making a Black Joe Cake – chocolate cake made with coffee. It is very moist and yummy. Woopie pies aren’t pies in the traditional sense. They are chocolate cake-like cookies sandwiched with cream filling. Here’s a link to a web page that explains their history. The picture on the right looks like the ones you would find around here. Yummy, but not very figure friendly. 😉 http://whatscookingamerica.net/History/WhoopiePieHistory.htm

      • Lyn:
        We have some Amish here, but I haven’t seen any buggies around, so like I said, don’t know where they live. I understand that some of them now will have cars and such and ferry others too and fro. There is a fab Five and Dime store in the town I work and it is owned by the Amish. Such nice people. And a roofing store in another town also by them. There is a store they have to sell their goods at but I haven’t been to it yet. I will have to make it a point to go and visit one day. Sorry you are feeling so lousy ! I do understand with the foggy brain as it is one of FMS’s worst additives. Take care
        Tonie

  24. Sue~~~
    I found your poem “Olde to my Ass” and OMG—you nailed it!! Yep–there was a time when my old behind was young and Sassy! How I LOVED country western dancing~~~the Jeans had to be Skin-Tight!! Wearing High-heels~~~that one took me back too–recalling when I worked in the business world and thought I was one foxy looking gal!!! I can’t even linger at the Bathing Suit era~~~oooh If I had to put one on NOW—well I would run Screaming from a dressing room!

    Now–life is very different and I find its easier to “work”with the changes instead of being angry about them. Oh how I relate to the Butt pain~~~~its pure misery to SIT–and I wonder, “Okay–so how do I stand all the time?” Earlier hours come now for bed–LOVE laying on my side!!!

    I chuckled at the possible “Tattoo” idea you had—just one tiny question~~~”Will it also Slide?” At a Hot bath in Eureka Springs, Arkansas–I saw some women who should NEVER have a Tattoo!! Try as I may-there was NO way I could figure out the blurred mess on one woman’s behind…

    thanks for sharing this with me Sue—I loved it…..martha

    • Martha, I thought this poem would speak to you. They wanted me to read it out loud at the college but I chose to refuse…knew everyone would be looking at my backside. We all need a laugh..every day. Sue

      • Sue–
        Yes I can see if you had READ the poem–people would have a hard time taking their eyes off your Behind!! The poem brought me some much needed Laughter and yet if one would look “between the lines” of your words~~~they would discover how frustrating it is to have this one particular area of our Body hurting, burning, aching~~and it goes on..

        I am seeing my Pain Mgmt Doctor tomorrow~~~praying for some form of Relief… But in the meantime, I am keeping myself busy with “Craft work” which allows me to STAND–and I am amazed at how easy it is to get lost in the Work. Wreaths, Stockings, Burlap Tree Ornaments, and on we go!! Decided to take this up a few years ago and LOVED it!! Somehow I put it to the side and recently picked it back up again! I give most of what I make away to friends–but our local town is having a Christmas “Market Days” event and I am entering it!!!

        Sue it is truly my honor to read your Blog and learn from your story and all the many others who follow your writing!! When I write, it comes straight from the heart~~not as easy for me to get super technical~~I just let the words flow!!!

        You are in my prayers and I am so hopeful things will get better for you. Looking forward to your NEXT POSTING!!! lol,martha

    • HA HA!! MARTHA THAT WAS A BRIIANT RESPONSE TO SUE………THESE YOUNG MODELS ETC, THINK THEY LOOK SO BLOOMING COOL WITH THEIR TATTOOS, WAIT TILL THEY ARE OVER SIXTY, OH MY LORD, SOME OF THEM ARE HIDEOUS. WHAT STARTS AS A NAME ON SOME, ENDS UP LOOKING LIKE A SENTENCE….OH DEAR!! NOT FOR US HUH?? jENNIE X

      • Martha and Jennie..indeed this whole rear end problem is a unique one. I think the only tattoo that would work for any woman would be a spigot that looks turned on with water pouring out so as the rear sags, the “water” would just keep running down the rear and the back of the legs. Either that or a huge open mouth like a clown’s that get bigger and goofier as it stretches. See what you two have done? Now I’m thinking…the last time I saw my own tush it looked more like a map of the moon with craters, etc. Too much info? Thought so. Sue

  25. Mornin All:
    Up at about with my coffee and shredded wheat n bran. Bout the only kind of cold cereal I like to stick with. I screened in my little porch landing yesterday and it seems funny to see the darkness hitting the door instead of sunlight 🙂 But it will shelter from rain and snow this winter and help keep me warm.
    Lyn, we have a kind of whoopee pie in the south called a “Moonpie” not nearly as good as the Amish but something manufactured. Graham cracker cookies filled with marshmellow and dipped in chocolate. You always had to have an RC Coke- Cola (anything dark was called a coca cola) I haven’t eaten one in years, now you got me wanting one. 🙂 I think they even make mini’s now.
    Here is the web about them, it is the official site actually http://moonpie.com/
    Well, Martha you are so right on the Tat’s (and Jennie) I see all the young girls so tatted out and in later years their skin will not hold up like it does now. And not like a man’s does. But that is gonna be their tail to sit on huh ??
    We are having very nice weather so far, I pray it stays this way.
    Back to the WHoppies I noticed it says they are made with shortening instead of butter. My mother always made her best cakes with shortening and not butter. If I try to change the recipe to butter it really messes with the taste. And the texture. Lyn have you ever made a Mayonaise Cake ?? Very moist chocolate with a creamy white icing. Okay I am gonna have to get a fiber one brownie to curb my cake attack !!
    Hope it is all good with all of you.
    Sue take care and rest.
    Chris, prayers for your Dad and DH !!
    Love ya
    Tonie

    • Haha, yes, Tonie, I’ve had mayonnaise cake. Sounds kind of icky, but you don’t taste the mayo, just makes it more moist. Of course, DH doesn’t like mayo and won’t eat anything if he even suspects there’s mayo in it, so I don’t make it. We have Moonpies up here, too, but no, while yummy in their own right, they are nothing like Whoopie Pies. You will also find recipes of Whoopies varied. I have become quite picky about my woopie pies, too. The cream has to be just right. I also like my Shoo Fly pie to have lots of “goo”. 🙂 Although I also like Shoo Fly Cake which doesn’t have goo. Ah, well.

      Yes, gang, I said to my kids for years you need to think ahead when it comes to tattoos. Always try to envision what will happen to it when you’re “old” or even if you simply gain weight. Didn’t stop my DD from getting two. She’d like more. Must be like potato chips. But hers are just below her neck and on her foot, so she can cover them when she needs to.

      Yes, Amish and Mennonite are not all alike. Some Amish do use some motorized vehicles and phones (usually in their barn, not the house) while others remain strictly non-motorized. Where I grew up, many had drivers (neighbors usually) who would drive them especially farther distances. Many Amish and Mennonite will have stands or sell wares in shops, often baked goods, and work trades especially construction. In fact, we just had a nice Mennonite gentleman work on our roof, and in fact our original builder is Mennonite, and our kitchen cabinets and some appliances came from Mennonite businesses. Now I’m going on. Must be the fog taking over. Sorry. I must get moving. Somehow I must make it through 2 rehearsals today as well as get some other things done. I hope a shower does more to energize me and clear my head than the coffee has…

      • Lyn:
        My kids love the tats as well. My son has 3 and my daughter has 2. I don’t understand it. But ….as it is. Both of them have theirs where they are not hard to cover up. Makes even less sense when you have em and cover em up.
        There are Mennonites up toward Richmond , I think in Bath county. I hope you made it thru your rehearsals. I spent my time with Ms Alice making jewelry and my mind is gone from all that focus !!
        Tonie

      • Lyn, I pray your stamina to return when you hear the music. Frustrating, I know. Life just keeps dragging us along, doesn’t it? I’ll be thinking about you today…Love, Sue

    • Tonie, I bought those Fiber One brownies you recommended for Jim. He likes them. Me? I can live without chocolate..I know, I know..Your newly screened in porch sounds wonderful. I know you’ll use it with the pups. How’s Judy’s cat surviving or should I ask how are your pups doing with that feline intimidation? Hope your sis, Judy, is improving day by day from her knee surgery. Gotta get ready to meet GD’s school bus. Hope they remember to stop. This is the first week they’ve been able to stop here after our roads were closed since school started this year. Be good and do take care…Love Sue

  26. WELL JUST A QUICKIE……….I FOUND MY PILOT, TURNS OUT HIS GRANDSON HAS WRITTEN A BOOK CALLED “DELAYED LEGACY” ALL ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, I AM WAITING TO HEAR FROM THE FAMILY, WHERE HE IS ACTUALLY BURIED, AND NOT JUST THE MEMORIAL PLAQUE WHICH I SAW, AND WHERE HE WAS SHOT DOWN. MY DH IS TO HAVE AN EPIDURAL FOR HIS OPERATION, NOT SURE IF THE FRENCH DOCTORS WILL LET HIM WATCH IT LIKE THE ENGLISH DID 12YRS AGO.
    SUE….YOU FEELING A BIT BETTER LOVELY??
    TONIE…..GLAD TO HEAR YOU GOT YOUR PORCH FINISHED BEFORE THE SNOWS COME.
    LYN…….TASTED MAYONNAISE CAKE, I LIKED IT, PUT THE RECIPE ON F/B AND I CAN COPY IT….PLEASE
    HAVE A NICE DAY EVERYONE…I EXPECT YOU ARE ALL GETTING READY FOR THANKGIVING……..GOD BLESS…JENNIE X

    • Jennie, What interesting news. I’ll have to look up that book. It’s so wonderful to find someone like you who understands the importance of the many sacrifices made over the years for freedom. Jim and I just watched the new film KILLING KENNEDY on the National Geographic channel over the weekend, from the book written by Bill O’Reilly. Even though I had read the book I still found the movie compelling and well done. I think remembering, studying our history helps us keep our perspective on current live and news.
      So, does your DH want to watch the surgeons fiddling around “down there?” May not be a good idea as he might be tempted to whack a hand with a scalpel in it. Dear girl, how’s your personal plumbing doing? Better, I hope. I have a yucky throat still and some bowel problems but really miss my methotrexate so it’s a dilemma. Should I take it or not. Skipped last week to get better…every day we have so many decisions to make.
      I have done a bit of shopping for Thanksgiving and Beth will help. Probably teach the children how to set the table this year. I didn’t realize my little GD noticed such things until she talked about the red runner I used over lace last Christmas, just the other day. Memories, it’s all about memories. Yes, of course I remember when your son, Tim, had that dreadful Arctic trip to get to you that past winter. Wasn’t sure if it was last year or the year before. Don’t you all find time zooming by? Best get on with it..take care of both of you. My DH’s colonoscopy was cancelled. Thank God they called before he drank that hideous prep liquid. Apparently his doctor is ill. Love, Sue

      • Speaking of being ill, there is a nasty stomach flu going around out here. Ms ALice daughter has come down with it, she got sick while swimming laps this morning. I pray that neither of us get it from her. SHe stayed upstairs today and didn’t come down. Sue I took my MTX today. I so pray you will start to feel better. I am grilling up some salmon for supper, and some veggies. Trying to eat better, other than just grabbing a sandwich 🙂
        I have just had an epiphany about why I am so tired after being with Ms Alice…..I am always CRAFTING !!! Read for a while, then, crochet or like today, I made jewelry all day. My hands are tired, wrists are worn out and my brain is shot from concentrating !! 🙂 Not smart remarks. I know I was born with a shot brain .
        Well gotta check on supper.
        Love
        Tonie

      • HEY SUE………SO GLAD JIM GOT AWAY WITH HIS COLONOSCOPY……..FOR NOW, OH LORD IMAGINE IF HE HAD DRUNK THE GUNK FOR NOWT!!! SORRY YOU ARE STILL HAVING BOWEL PROBLEMS LOVE, DO YOU FIND YOURSELF HAVING TO WATCH WHAT YOU EAT THE DAY BEFORE YOU KNOW YOU ARE GOING SOMEWHERE?
        YES SUE, I DO FIND TIME WHIZZING BY, AT AN ALARMING SPEED, EACH YEAR GETS A BIT HARDER TOO, NEVER MIND WE HAVE TO KEEP PUSHING ON…………..LOVE YOU SUE, GET WELL……JEN X

    • Jennie:
      Glad you found out about the pilot. Let us know what they say so we can share it.
      I am certain I would not want to watch a surgery on myself. Someone else, that is fine, but not me thank you ! Knock me out !!
      Take care sweet
      Love
      Tonie

      • Tonie, Glad you stayed away from Ms. Alice’s daughter. Poor thing. Stomach flu is miserable. I can’t shake this thing and I sure need my methotrexate. Cold winds here today and possible freeze tonight. Met both buses for the grands. Nice to have the roads back in. GD has a birthday next weekend..after Thanksgiving. Beth and I found it simple to plan the holiday meal because we know these guys all so well.
        You know I’ve told you how fierce Georgie is when food is involved but today he growled at GS when he tried to pick him up off a pillow he had snatched to lie on. I chastised him, GS was crushed, then George got down on the bed next to GS and crawled over to him looking more like sheep than dog. So cute. It made us all laugh.Falling asleep now..everyone else is..Love you and take care…Sue

      • HI TONIE………I WAS SO PLEASED TO FIND MY PILOT, I HAD SOME HELP FROM A FRIEND IN THE USA WHO HAD BETTER ACCESS TO CERTAIN WEBSITES, I GOT SOME LINKS AND HEY PRESTO…GOTCHA.
        MY HUBBY HAS A SADISTIC NEED TO WATCH HIS OWN OPERATION, HE FOUND IT FACINATING, BUT TO BE HONEST HE IS JUST PLAIN NOSEY. HOW ARE YOU DOING MATE? ANY NEWS YET ON THE PENSION STAKES?? ……………..LOVE YA………………JENNIE POO XX

  27. Hi all
    Well got taken out for dinner last nite…the people who DH is doing photos for …and it was good company and food..but four hrs and my coccyx is so sore ,it had been getting sorer in the week .but can’t even lie on it now.also drive in car to DD today, they moved into new house about a month ago and the garage was broken into last night and GS quad bike stolen.. So went there to cheer him up and hang some more of his photos
    So all in all a rough time!
    Got a hot water bottle just under top of legs to keep base of spine up.i think the fracture as been messed up with all the walking in hospital ,down to my dads and shopping etc.
    But it shoots a pain that gets me too
    DH bp up high today,,he won’t go to dr.it never really goes to where it should be anyway but 170/106!
    I think mixing and talking last nite mite have put it up today

    Well made him some camomile tea see if that works
    Chris

    • Chris dear, Sounds like both of you are exhausted.I understand we choose to do these things, especially for our kids and friends. Glad you had a good dinner, but oh the price, huh? I am so sorry to hear about GS’s bike. That’s terrible. I hate it when the evil in this world touches anyone but especially those we love.
      Hope you feel better soon. I like your hot water bottle idea. I do that with pillows under the thighs and my PT told me years ago to use one of those rubber garden little kneeling pads under my thighs for long sits. It takes the point of impact off your tail and or SI joints. Sounds like both of you need a prescription of rest. Love and stay warm…getting cold here. Sue

  28. Oh Chris:
    Glad you got out and had a nice time, good food and company are always nice. So sorry for all your pain. I agree with Sue, sounds like you and DH need to have a “me” day in. Rest, watch the telly, munch and sleep. Good for the tushie and good for the bp. Take care dear one. Evil knows no bounds. It is so terrible when someone steals what you have worked hard for.
    Take care
    Tonie
    ps getting cold here as well

  29. Sue ..Tonie
    Thankyou fr your thoughts and words
    Well..DH doubled up on his bp pill.he is on such a small dose ..both of them are still not up to the starting dose really…becos of what he is like with side effects….so at least that is a help.i will ring and tell the dr. Just hope side effects don’t kick in so he can take them
    Yep cold here too.. Gives -1c for now(It’s nearly 5-30 am)
    Back not throbbing as I am laying here.but the Voltarol giving me stomach probs.so shall have to stop them
    GS very stoic about the robbery but I know he feels it.i think he is putting on a brave face for his mum.as she loves the new house
    Well yep a day at home today..think I need to be near the bathroom anyway!
    Chris

    • Chris:
      I know GS is feeling the affects and I am sure he is sad over the loss. Was there insurance to at least pay for a new one ?? The high here on Sunday is to be 20′ 😦 Silk long johns are going to be put on for sure . Take er easy today missy and feel better.
      Love
      Tonie

  30. Sue:
    My body now has a schedule of waking up at 6:30 or 7, no matter when I go to sleep 😦 But at least today I can lay here and feel somewhat better before I have to get up. Yes, I have to throw up, such misery. Doc said he thought it could be her gall bladder. Because she had been having cramps the day before she got sick. I told him that virus was making the rounds, so who knows, he could have her in surgery by now (kidding).
    Little Georgie is learning, that is good. My dogs still remember my grands names , if I call them out they run to the door thinking they are here. Well, my horse is won over. He just stands and lets me pet him and hug him , long as I have them sugar cubes he is mine. Just like a man huh ?? I need to find me a curry comb now, he is matted with mud. I will have to take my camera with me next time and snap a few pic of him. Lots to do today, too cold to be outside, so I will see what I can get done in here.
    Prayers dear friend that you will get rid of this yukkiness you have on you. Rest and drink !
    Love ya
    Tonie

    • Tonie, I am so happy for you to finally be having your own horse. I wonder if he knows how lucky he is? Wonder how he’ll take to getting combed? How do the other horses in the field behave toward you and him bonding? We’d love to see pics of him.
      Yes, George is a smart little thing. He always barks when he wants up on our bed and sometimes he changes his mind and I want to choke him so today I put a small footstool by the cedar chest at the foot of the bed, like we did for Annie and it took him about 2 mins. to figure it out. Once he leaped up onto the bed he was so proud of himself he started running around in circles, over me, over the laptop..so funny.
      Sorry cold has fallen back there but not surprised. I need to go over and pick up the turkey as DD now has this stuff and is home sick and I’m trying to find out how to get it in the house. Naturally I’ll call Jim but if he’s tied up..guess I could get a large bag of ice and pack it in ice until J. gets home. I hate this not lifting bit but not as much as another fracture. Hoping to get away for errands today but so, not feasible. Oh what complicated lives we sometimes lead, huh? Stay warm dear lady and don’t catch that nasty stomach flu. Love, Sue

      • Sue:
        Well, I got the bedroom cleaned up and rearranged. AND I am worn slap out. Had to go to the church for a bit and work on a sign with Carol. Taking a much needed break right now. I have a digital picture frame that I had not put up. I got it out and put it up and loaded a bunch of pics on it. So nostalgic ! All the babies, pics of the old house, Christmas, vacations. But if I don’t want to see them it turns into a clock. An album for the wall. Gadgets are great !
        Pray that you get to feeling better. And yes I am praying that I don’t get it as well.
        George is so cute. 🙂
        Love
        Tonie

  31. WELL JUST WHEN THINGS LOOK HALF DECENT, I GET AN E-MAIL FROM MY DAUGHTER NIKKI FULL OF VITRIOL, ACCUSING ME OF MESSING UP MY SONS LIFE…………….JUST THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE, AND I GUESS BECAUSE SHE IS GOING NOWHERE IN LIFE….BY CHOICE, SHE RESENTS THE REST OF US FOR GETTING ON, HAVING A DECENT HOUSE TO LIVE IN ETC. SO TODAY I HAVE COME IN FOR A REAL SPOT OF MOTHER BASHING, AND AS USUAL IT HAS KNOCKED THE STUFFING OUT OF ME. CAN’T GET RID OF THIS CYSTITIS AS WELL, SO FEELING A BIT LOW…..AH WEL AS I ALWAYS SAY “SHIT HAPPENS”………………LOVE YOU ALL………..JENNIE XXXXXXXX

    • Jennie, I hate this so much, seeing you hurt. It’s so strange how our kids, in their immaturity sometimes find it so much easier to blame someone else, usually their Mom or Dad, instead of taking life by the grip and growing up. I’m sure it brought up many painful memories for you of other problems with your daughter. That whole old adage about choosing our friends and not being able to choose our family members…oh so true.
      They, family that is, can hurt us because they know where we’re vulnerable. I think it’s instinct. Yours is the fourth comment today from someone here and on FB who has been hurt by family. Maybe it’s the holidays and folks expecting far too much from life. This isn’t TV, nor is it IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE. As all of us know all too well, life can be wonderful but it takes a lot of choice and work. I think this requires a private message on FB…see you there. Chin up sweet girl..Much love, Sue

      • SUE…..I HAVE WRITTEN TO YOU, BUT JUST WANTED TO SAY A BIG THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING ME, I GOT MY URINE RESULTS TODAY, THEY WERE NEGATIVE, WHICH IS GREAT, BUT LEAVES ME WONDERING WHAT IS THE PROBLEM THEN??? LOVE YOU, JEN X

  32. Jen
    As I’ve said Jen it’s just jealousy.and they know which buttons to push
    Can you ring to see if the results are back early
    Hope you can ring tonite
    Chris

  33. Jennie:
    So sorry, I know how much it hurts when kids get their heads up in the air. And as Chris says they know what buttons to push. Things are never the way we want them to be for our kids. Hang in there sweet mama.
    Love ya
    Tonie

    • HI TONIE………YES YOU DO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE,SHE CERTAINLY PUSHED MY BUTTONS ALRIGHT, BUT THERE YOU ARE, I FORGIVE HER, AND WILL TRY AND SORT OUT WHERE SHE IS COMING FROM ONCE MORE, BUT NOT JUST YET.
      O YOU HEAR FROM YOUR NIKKI, TONIE? IS SHE OK? ARE YOU KEEPING WARM TONIE, WE GOT OUR FIRST SNOW TODAY, NOT MUCH, BUT I THINK ITS THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME……STAY SAFE, LOVE YOU MATE…..JENNIE X

  34. Busy again, here. So sorry for the illnesses and such going on. Jennie, dear, so sorry for your bashing from your daughter. They do know how to get us, don’t they? I’m afraid I don’t have a recipe for mayonnaise cake as my DH won’t eat anything with mayo in it I can share the Black Joe cake recipe I use. That has a cup of coffee in it and is also moist and yummy. Still some left from DH’s birthday and I have to keep myself from eating more than one piece a day.
    Sue, I had to chuckle at the picture of little George mastering the step up to the bed. We are celebrating Thanksgiving at my Mom’s this year. I volunteered to bring something and will probably end up bringing what I usually take to DH’s family when we go there. Too funny. DD is off both jobs that day and can be with us – yay! We still don’t know if the boy is working that day or not yet.
    Well, DD is home and ready to share about her busy day. ‘Night all!

    • Lyn dear, there does seem to be a lot going on with all of us. I hate the fact parents are often an easy target. DOn’t these kids have any compassion for what their parents are going through? Good new that DD will be with all of you for the holiday. Hope SB gets it also. Enjoy your visit with her…There’s that whooshing sound again..life passing by. Love, Sue

    • HI LYN……..ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT SO TO SPEAK, MY DAUGHTER IS AVOIDING CONTACT, WELL SO BE IT FOR NOW, FEEL SO LOW ABOUT IT THOUGH, AND LONG TO TALK TO HER, BUT I CAN’T TAKE THE ABUSE AT THE MOMENT.
      IT SHOULD BE A LOVELY THANKSGIVING AT YOUR MOM’S, I WOULD LOVE TO BE IN THE USA AT THAT TIME OF YEAR. I SHOULDN’T WORRY ABOUT TAKING THE SAME THING WITH YOU TO YOUR MOM’S, I BET EVERYONE LOOKS FORWARD TO IT ANYWAY. HOW NICE THAT YOUR DD CAN JOIN YOU TOO, SO PLEASED FOR YOU DARLING…………..LOVE JENNIE XX

      • Hey Jennie Poo !
        Must be something in the water. I got a FB post from my MIA daughter who said I only missed her when she “went missing”. Sometimes you almost wish you could just stop caring !! They really think ALL of it is simply about and for them I guess. Love ya kid !!
        Tonie

      • Oh, Jennie, no worries about the dish. My mom’s side is where the recipe comes from so we have it there every year! I’ll just be making it this year. 🙂 Sending hugs. Wish you could join us on Thanksgiving Day!

  35. Tonie, Glad you got some indoor straightening up accomplished..don’t you wish it would stay that way. I love the way Mary Poppins straightens a room..wishes, wishes. Your gadget for pics sounds great. I’m sure it gave you many emotions because you’ve been missing the children so much. You will see them this summer..I’m sure you’ll find a way. Very cold here..running errands yesterday was a chiller. Feeling a bit better here..stubborn bug. Well, onward and upward. Later, Sue

    • Hey Sue:
      Well, had a busy day myself. AGAIN. Ms ALice fell this am coming out of her bathroom and bruised the tushie, poor thing she was hurting so much. So on the way home I stopped off to give my horsey some sugars. Went back to the car and got the camera to shoot some pics, and locked myself out !!! I have no spare (yet) so walked up and down the hill several times trying to find something to open them with. Finally one my my neighbors came home and I got him to help me. One hour and much praying later, he got it. Guess who is having a spare key made ??? Only have done that one other time in my life. Judy is doing good and hoping they will let her come home tomorrow. I have to go to 2 Dr’s tomorrow, so will be another long day for me. GLad you are feeling some better Miss, some is better than NUN !! We are supposed to get very cold on Sunday. 😦
      Love
      Tonie

      • Tonie…NUN? You can be so funny. I am so sorry for your getting locked out in what I assume was the cold. I did that about a month ago because I had not learned the code on the door of our car. Called Jim and I have now memorized it…I think. Good neighbor to help you. So how is your horse. You’ve got to let us know what you’re going to call him. I am sorry to hear about poor Ms. Alice..I’ll bet she is in a world of hurt and pray nothing is broken.
        Tonie, I am not surprised your Nikki is behaving in an erratic manner but that doesn’t make it any less galling. I think many people see themselves through their mother’s eyes and I’m certain when she see’s herself in your eyes, she comes up short and damn well knows it. I’m so sorry for you and the hurt I know that sort of thing causes but in a weird way I am glad she at least has turned up.
        You are going to be tired tomorrow but hopefully the doctor visits will be worth it.We had a bit of frost last night and it didn’t get above 43 all day…and oh that wind but it is surprisingly refreshing. The road crew painted lines today out front. I’m going to go downstairs now and whip up a quiche for dinner with cheese, onions and mushrooms. Jim and I both like them..hope my gut does. Thinking of you..drive carefully tomorrow, okay? Love, Sue

  36. TO ALL: In looking at all of these comments, I realized how much heartache is here with so many of us. Sometimes I think we’re like so many areas, animals, people in life who seem to get picked on when we’re at our lowest. Do we wear signs saying “Kick me” when we’re ill? I realize many of these problems are with family, jobs and friends and are not related to our health but our health affects everything. We can’t travel, physically. That has had an affect on my family interaction with my family in TX who don’t really know me. That’s a deep heartache. Others of us have missed memorable events when others do not understand and have such high expectations for us. Cruel things have been said to us, inferring we are not really that ill. Others simply do not get it. We are fortunate when some do but I have discovered many people, friends and family can dish out the greatest cruelties. I even had an editor once ask me how I “put up with all those whiners.” I’ve had fellow hospital supervisors call me late at night if I had to call in sick and demand I come in to work to fill a shortage. Folks in the medical field can be terribly unkind…not all but some. We can’t expect understanding from those who lead healthy lives..from some, perhaps but not many. We all have an unusual way of living and I thank God everyday for each of you who understand. We are at war and others are in denial.
    We have each experienced cruelty from those close to us. Strangers don’t care. That is why we have to care about ourselves and create and command our own universe. So many lonely folks out there have given up and I want this blog to say, “We care because we’re there.” Thank you all for being part of the “we.” Just knowing each of you know the pain in movement, the heartache of loss and have enough gumption to read and search for answers, that is a blessing for me personally and I hope for each of you. Much love…Sue

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