Please don’t misunderstand. I don’t believe I’m going to” kick the bucket” in that sense, although there are times when my old bucket needs kicking, and kicking hard. I would find anyone kicking me in the poopoo, sitter, bucket or derriere particularly painful, although I’m certain no one likes the idea.
I’ve always thought the whole idea of writing a “Bucket List” a particularly depressing chore. Is it the theme of dying? No, because everyone eventually dies. I think it’s the idea of waiting until then to do or perform all those secret wishes and desires everyone harbors. It’s only after adversity one realizes you can’t plan life. Life happens when we have our backs turned and aren’t looking. Many of our wishes and desires can come true but what a sad event to put them off until the final days or weeks.
Many of our hopes and desires are totally “unwritten” and sort of sneak up on us. I like to think they are pre-planned by a higher Power and are simply hibernating while they wait for their time to arrive. What possible purpose would it serve to make a list for something, someone or some event we could never imagine before they occur? I find myself doing things and seeing parts of my life working together in ways I could never have imagined. For instance, let’s look at the objects in our lives. Objects bought for one purpose stick around and serve another purpose. Last night I covered our little Yorkie, George with a baby blanket originally bought for my youngest grandson who is now ten years-old. Our home is filled with treasures once bought by my parents or Jim’s parents which have now become ours. Furniture, art, and lovely objects stick around to bring pleasure to new owners. Perhaps they help to enforce the memories we living creatures leave behind.
Another surprise life brings along for us is in our varying relationships. I have met hundreds, perhaps thousands, of wonderful individuals through this blog and I am happy to say many of them have become friends with each other. Doors have opened which I never dreamed existed. New friends are waiting to be found by each of us. Since I am an RN, I suppose I’m a bit more comfortable with medical personnel than many others in this world and my diseases and health problems have helped me to meet even more wonderful individuals. I’ve met some jerks along the way, also, and always wonder why such uncaring individuals bother to go into healthcare if they don’t really like or have a gift for caring; haven’t you? Fortunately, for me, I have met and made many highly qualified, compassionate individuals in the field of medicine.
Life is unceasingly full of surprises; it is difficult for me to imagine anything as wonderful that I, even with my wild imagination, could have imagined or planned. Life is a road of wonder and takes faith to travel, but like many roads, it often needs repair, has it’s potholes as well as breathtakingly gorgeous views. I love this particular quote and will briefly share it with you: “A religion that is small enough for our understanding would not be large enough for our needs.” It was written by Arthur Balfour; thank you Arthur.
I’ve become convinced over the years that life is not a list but an attitude. Each of us have stepped into those potholes, been hit by the trucks and vehicles of life with its accidents, diseases and varying forms of suffering however our reaction is what will be left from the wreckage. “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”
Some of the saddest individuals I know are the ones who complain all the time. Sharing is different than complaining. It’s more brief and succinct. Complaining is usually without purpose except to gain sympathy. Each of us who read this could write an enviable list of complaints about illness, pain and disappointments. It isn’t about having something to complain about. It’s about the attitude of acceptance when we realize we are all part of the human condition and share the load that is leveled out to each and to many. Let me share a lovely poem I read the other day that has stuck with me.
“Every year that I live I am more convinced
That the waste of life
Lies in the love we have not given,
The powers we have not used,
The selfish prudence that will risk nothing;
And which, shirking pain, misses happiness as well.
No one ever yet was the poorer in the long run
For having once in a lifetime
‘let out all the length of the reins.’ “
Author, Mary Cholmondeley
I’m certain many of us reading this would love to shirk pain once in a while. I wonder how one does that? I realize the poet is referring to the pain brought on by risk taken but for many of us we were just walking along the road of life and “WHAM!” We were struck by an accident of DNA or other events awaiting us along the wayside.
Often when I am faced with someone who complains constantly, I find few of them really have much to complain about. Many of us with a broad scope of health problems or personal problems tire out long before we run the gamut of recitation regarding what has been dumped into our laps. How do the moaners in life find the time and energy? How do they stand the boredom of their repetitious recitation? I find it a major challenge just to make it through the day, searching for joy along the way to savor the sweetness in the midst of the bitter.
Let us live our lives with just a few simple guidelines: no regrets, concentrating on the lovely and the enriching, not upon which that I can no longer do and never forsaking hope.
The author of LITTLE WOMEN, Louisa May Alcott once said, “Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.”