LIFE ACCUMULATES

Life accumulates

The moments of our lives accumulate like snow in a drift, sand upon a dune on a summer day or raindrops in a puddle alongside the road.

We are each a combination of joys and sorrows, intentions and lost chances as well as accomplishments.

I guess there is something about the holidays that brings out the sentimental in me and it always has but when I’m ill, as I’ve been so often this year, it’s multiplied a hundred fold.

It’s impossible to go through life without examining it from time to time unless you’re in a coma. There have been times when a coma would be preferable to some of the experiences we have had but then we would miss out on so many of life’s joys.

That’s the price we pay for consciousness. Stay awake and take your chances.

Life accumulates in the corners of our lives like dust piles, hair fluffs and dust bunnies. They are composed of daily decisions, acquaintances made as well as the results of the daily wash and dry of life. Some of the debris has to be removed when they represent bitter feelings, resentments and other emotions which keep us from moving forward to a clean corner of our life.

We have to keep the whiskbrooms of our mind clean and crisp as we whisk away the emotions which will pull us down, divide us from others or keep us from growth. Hatred, jealousy and doubt have no place to hide in a cleaned out corner.

As we grow older life’s joyous days go by quickly and our complaints list grows longer. We’re wearing out as we grow tired of fighting for health at a time when we have to put up a stronger fight than ever.

Life accumulates in the corners of our minds with doubts and fears. We doubt our abilities, come to question others following a few disappointments and have to be reminded that fear exists only in the mind. Fear without belief has no strength and its light goes out.

We each have our personal lists of dreams, wishes and desires that seem to wane with time. Limited only by doubt, we hide behind our experiences when we could choose to learn from them; enriching our lives along the way.

Life accumulates based on our choices. They don’t present themselves as sign boards but as moments, thoughts and fleeting picks along the road. Should we or should we not? Can I do this or can I not? Where do the limits lie?

When illness and pain rear their ugly heads, we pay abeyance to them and give them power when our guard is down. They grow in size as we shrink from our own lives. Life can be a coward and kick us in the lowest points of our lives. We must not let it.

Life accumulates in our strengths and recognizes courage when it appears. Certain qualities make life shrink and quiver. Facing down the aging body can only make it stronger. The same rules apply as they once did but the answers may take longer to arrive.

Life accumulates in used people who are no longer newborn babes. We have a strength that comes from living which only can arrive on that bus called experience.

Life is advanced learning. Life takes study, practice and homework.

Life accumulates in color where it shines.

Life accumulates in muscles when they move.

Life grows love in hearts unselfish.

Life blooms in hearts on fire with love for its own.

Love accumulates and brings life to a grateful heart.

168 thoughts on “LIFE ACCUMULATES

  1. Hope everyone isdoing okay….got bad tummy pains, so trying to forget about today….just wanted to check in….Tonie hope your choppers will be ok…..Sue hope your nausea is settling down….Chris…hope you make it to see your Aunt……laters…Jennie xxx

    • Jennie, so sorry to hear gut is acting badly. Take care of yourself because we love you and you deserve good care. As ever, Sue

      • Hi Sue….Tummy a lot better, just a headache the size of Gotham city, think its a lot of tension, I always pick it up from my Son when he is unhappy…..he hates this new job working for Jones Lang LaSalle, the pressure is enormous, the traveling is ridiculous, and he is wishing he had stayed where he was…..but hey” we all make wrong decisions at times. Wish the kids were coming here again, but both will be working for the homeless again. Very cold here now, had to put the thick comforters on the beds for the first time this year. Your GD is a proper card isn’t she, hope the ears stay intact…….how are you feeling now love???………..love you….Jennie xx

  2. Hey folks
    Been busy and also got call from hosp for appt tomorrow.they put on an extra clinic
    So it’s gonna be a busy day with that .photo exhibit. Over to a Christmas Market and then that Richard 111 thingy…..Mmmmm .
    DD bp is up still
    Cold here today but gives it cold but sunny tomorro

    I love listening to stories of kids ,sue she will be so proud of her ears over xmas
    Thinking of you…
    Not sure if we will go to my aunts with DH bp up he has a headache with it
    Hope we can make tomorrow ,I’m usually cancelling things I organise!
    Have a good w.end all
    Chris

    • Chris, hope your appt. don’t tire you out too much so you can enjoy Richard. The Christmas market sounds like fun. Love to hear about it. Hope DH is okay and enjoys the exhibit.
      Yes, my GD will be proud of her ears and having survived. She’s an opinionated little nine year old and is very picky about fashion. Imagine. Wonderful time of the year for all but especially children, huh? Do take care to rest when you can. Hope they help your cough. Love you, Sue

    • Hi Chris……..wish I could come with you to the market……hope DH’s b/p comes down….hope photo shoot goes well, its as cold here too, you wrap up warm…right??? love Jen xx

    • Chris, I’m afraid you got that right. In more ways than one she is like her Nana.
      Just read below about your testing and don’t want you to be discouraged. At least you’re on their minds now and they are treating the problems. Having the reassurance of the Sjogren’s being the cause will and should direct them. Hang in there with all they instruct and we’ll pray for relief for you. Much love, Sue

  3. Good morning all:
    Jennie, I am fine….just have been too busy to concentrate on TALKING !! Got a few minutes this am, then off to the sale ! Guess WHat >???? I GOT PAID !!! 🙂 THursday I got my back pay in the mail. Well, they KEPT the first 6 months on me, but still got a goodly amount to see me through. SO happy, ….and I got my partial yesterday…OH I gagged everytime I went to talk !! It is gonna take me a little time to get to talk normal. The way it has to be , I have a piece in the roof of my mouth. But it is not that bad.

    Sue, I pierced my own ears. DS and Mother watched me going “UGH”. I have 2 in one ear, to wear the “lost” ones 🙂 I am pretty worn out already, but will rest well tonight. We have our state overseer coming to church tomorrow, and I have to teach Sunday school. :0 Then we are having a potluck after. We are taking the money from the sale today and going on a little trip out to Gatlinburg Tn after the New Year to see all the lights and wander around. I haven’t been out there in 44 years !! It will be another busy week ….well let’s face it , busy until Christmas !!
    At least it is just raining here, no snow as of now !!
    Sue, you are allowed to breakdown. You have had too much ! He will bring you thru. We haven’t forgotten to pray for you. My back would be okay if I weren’t on my feet so much. Today I am going to have me a chair in which to sit if not needed. I picked up grain yesterday , literally, and tweaked it a bit.
    Chris, Jennie, Lyn (oh yeah gonna get me a seat warmer for Christmas) everyone, please have a good weekend. I will be back soon.
    Love you all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, hurray!! By “they” I suppose you mean the lawyers kept a portion? I understand that is how they get paid – still well worth it! Just in time for Christmas!! Just keep working on talking with your new dental work. I can remember focusing on my speech during and after braces and I was able to come to normal speech each time. My MIL recently got new front teeth and I don’t know if she really even thinks about it, but her speech is now not as clear – she kind of lisps. I know, if feels different, but if you listen to yourself, you can clear it up. I think she is just so busy talking, she doesn’t listen. 😉 As a musician you are used to listening, you should be able to do it more easily. It may be frustrating, but will be worth it. Take care today!

      • Lyn, no the lawyers got theirs, but SSD didn’t pay me for the first 6 months. Lawyers says they call this a “taxing period” or something like that. I am getting better with the bridge. Gonna take some time. And with singing, I gotta practice a bit more
        I did find myself concentrating more today

    • TONIE….OVER THE MOON FOR YOU, THINGS REALLY LOOKING UP AT LAST….SOME WELL DESERVED DOSH, BET BABY WILL GET SOMETHING NICE HUH? …..AND A NEW PARTIAL…..YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK THE BUSINESS….NO FACE LIFTS MIND, OKAY??……..I AM HAPPY FOR YOU MY FRIEND….LOVE JENNIE XX

      • Jennie, So sorry about the headaches. Are they related to the facial pain or the back? Doesn’t it get oh so tiresome. I know. Sounds like winter has descended on France. Don’t you love big thick quilts? I am sorry to hear your son doesn’t like the new job. Perhaps, in time. It’s funny how we always share our children’s sorrows, no matter what their age. Hope you’re getting better soon so you can enjoy the holiday. I’m not so far. Waiting to get better, also. Much love, Sue

      • Jennie:
        Sorry he don’t like the job. Jones Lang LaSalle were customers of mine in Arizona. Maybe he will get there. Sorry for your headache. Nope, no face lifts.
        Love ya

    • Tonie, I’m afraid you may get a second reply from me. I just had one disappear. Anyway, hurray. I am not surprised you got your funds after the court cleared it. So happy for you and please take care of yourself today. None of that heavy lifting, okay? Ask folks for help because you must.
      Again, I’m thrilled, relieved and praising God your finances are now more secure. I think the teeth will settle in with time just watch for any sore spots and get right on them, okay? Much love, Sue

  4. Tonie
    Sooooo pleased you got money thru.we all said take no notice it’ll be ok…and it was!.oh it sounds so good for you now
    You’ll get used to the teeth….hope any pain eases
    Well I went to hosp had a tube down nose to see back of throat.he said ok but vocal cords inflamed and have to have chest X-ray and Lung function test .he thinks it’s the upper airways inflamed with the sjogrens.have to get used to the chest irritation. Keep doing the vento puffer.also the reflux irritating it too
    Hmmm still no help tho
    Ok be back after all today’s stuff
    Chris

    • Oh CHris:
      Hope you feel better. I hate getting “scoped”. I have a nasty gag reflex. Yep the teeth felt a little better today. I talked with my brother and he said he had a little trouble with his at first, but now often forgets to take them out at night. Told me to watch out for bending the wires.

    • Thanks Suzanne:
      Miss seeing you on here and on FB. You have been laying low. Hope you are feeling better. I am pretty much worn out. I took a nap soon as I got home. Then just turned everything off and climbed into bed. There is a cold rain going on outside, yuk !! Well lest it ain’t snow. Happy for that.
      Take care
      Tonie

  5. Tonie, I am so happy for you! I didn’t think you would have to wait months for your money. Glad you now have some peace and a lot off of your mind. Did they go back at least 2 years on your back pay? If so, you will get your Medicare and not have to wait 2 more years. That 6 months could be for your Medicare payments. I can’t remember what they did with me. I got mine in 2004. Too long ago for me to remember. Anyway just wanted to say how happy I am for you dear.
    Now, I pray that God will bless everyone with any needs they might have. Whether it be health or finances or any other needs that need to be met, I pray that God will take care of all of them, in Jesus name. I would ask all of you to pray for me. I have some upper respiratory junk going on and having a hard time breathing even with my oxygen’. I have Had to keep it on full flow for 2 days now. I upped my prednisone and didn’t take my methotrexate shot per doctor. I have Had to use my inhaler as well. Will be glad when this is cleared up. Thanks for your prayers. Donna

    • PRayers for you Donna. Thank you for your prayers and thoughts. Yes, they went back the 2 years, and I got my Medicare card on Friday. My sister has a great policy for her part D, and I want to get the same one. SHe pays for NOTHING..And as much as I go to the Dr, get RX’s filled, it will be the one I need.

      Hope all of you have a wonderful Sunday. I slept very soundly last night, and woke up very early. Another long day, and the start of another busy week. Here’s adding my prayer to Donna’s that all needs be met, may the Lord bless you all.
      Love
      Tonie

      • Tonie, will you be able to get signed up today or get a special compensation for your Medicare part D supplement? They keep saying today is the last day to sign up. I’m still feeling so thrilled to know your financial life will be more stable. Glad the sale went well but sorry not as you expected or as well as last year. Hope you get some rest now. Love, Sue

    • Donna, I’m sorry to hear you have a URI right now. Sounds very tiresome and scary. Glad you have a doctor looking after you. Prayers of course for your recovery. Don’t forget to push the fluids, stay warm and allow yourself to rest. Fondly, Sue

  6. Hi all
    Donna I hope you get better soon and all will be well
    Tonie still keep thinking of you and your money and all you can do
    Sue Any better after the w.end?
    Well I’ve been busy went to the exhib at a church of photos and met some old friends who got invited to the shed
    Then the xmas market.it had been a sunny cold day and when the evening drew in it left the old town looking twinkly. The smells were sharper in the cold there were food ,crafts and all manner of stalls come together.the place was in its own time zone from the rest of the world. We had a coffee in a little cafe and sat in the window looking at the people milling about. It was great
    Then onto the lecture and it was all I wanted it to be there were lords and ladies from London all sorts of posh lots from somewhere and then David Starkey.he was good to listen to and he was as edgy and contrary as ever..he bought Richard 111 to life.we had 15c punch and sausage rolls sitting in such an old church where his parents are buried by the alter
    Then they had an auction after in which DStarkey would take them around this stately home….it went for £3000 ,from this posh lot!..it was money for the upkeep of the church that’s badly needed
    So ,to this morning and to a craft market in a village that Dh helped do photos for a book for,the book was launched at the market with champagne and MORE sausage rolls.
    Then we went out for lunch and I had roast lamb and DH beef then home…..oh I also had treacle tart and custard..such a pig!
    So my mind is full of colour and facts and things…and it kept my mind off my coughing and breathing
    I took cough meds ,sweets,and water…and a cushion
    So that’s my w.end
    My dad well that’s another story…..he won’t stop using this menthol stuff and I’m at a loss with it…but won’t think of it now that’s for tomorrow

    Chris

    • Chris dear, oh it all sounds so wonderful and just as good as you had hoped the weekend would be. The foods all sound wonderful, too. I love roast leg of lamb but Jim doesn’t eat it so I must be content with an occasional lamb chop. Jim is a beef man, too. Now I must ask, what is 15c punch and could you describe a treacle tart? You have to keep educating us you know.
      The lecture with Mr. Starkey sounds so fascinating. What a crowd! I’m so pleased he didn’t disappoint in any way and also thrilled you made it through. The cushion is always a good idea, huh? Thanks for the lovely description. I can just see the markets.. Was there caroling? Live it again and again and enjoy it dear girl. Love you, Sue

  7. Hi sue
    Yea cArols and brass bands and a childrens choir and a crazy man on stilts!
    Well 15C punch ..I meant a punch made to the menu of the 1400s. And punch is a mixture of wine and herbs and bits of a lot of stuff and heated. Oh I know like a mulled wine with attitude!

    Treacle tart well it’s a pastry base made with a golden syrup guey inside..Jen will know the recipe I bet being a Yorkshire lass……come on Jen…..
    How are you sue?
    Chris

    • Chris, thanks for the clarification. Both of them sound lovely. So far today I haven’t had that much nausea. Trying to keep my stomach full seems to help. Now about to throw together some of my potato soup. Eating small amounts even when nauseous seems to help but hard to do. Thanks again…Get some sleep girl. Sue

    • Chris:
      Great description of your days. I would LOVE to go to some of the old villages and see some of those sites. You meant 15th century punch right ? I bet that is interesting as well. GLad all went to your liking. Would loved to have heard the lecture as well. Glad you had a good time and ate good also !
      Tonie

  8. Sue, I am not sure if I can get a compensation or not. I just got the card on Friday, and just got the man’s number today. He will probably back date it or something. He writes Judy’s insurance and Mary;s also. So I will give him a call.
    We had a very good service today. Excellant food following, Now I am home resting, after brushing down poor Baby and doctoring her little bootie. I haven’t had a chance to spend time with her this week. I have to go feed here shortly, then I am in for the night. The sun is out but it is chilly out. I did find a place I can get her a 750 lb bale of hay. That will last her all winter along with the feed. My sis made Chicken n Dumplings today for the dinner….oh yum, I had a couple of spoonsful. so much yummy stuff. Carol made an old time Dream WHip coconut pie. Remember those ? Use pineapple or whatever ? It was so good and felt so good on my mouth. I cannot get the hang of drinking hot coffee with this bridge yet , I keep burning myself, 😦 Oh well, I will get it.
    Ever since I had my back injection, I have been regular with the bathroom. Wonder what it was, the nerve pressing or something ?
    Glad you are starting to feel better Sue.
    Take care all
    Love

    • Tonie dear, so much going on you must be overwhelmed. How is cold food that’s also soft with the mouth? Chicken and dumplings? Sure, now you’ve done it and I don’t have any chicken in the house but it is one thing that sounds good. Yes, I hope for me this is the beginning of the turn around on the nausea.
      Interesting about your injection and the back. Don’t know. See if if lasts. How is Baby doing? That sounds like a wonderful bargain on hay for the winter. Good.
      I would hope they would make a compensation for you on part D. Even though we have insurance where Jim works because we’re old farts we’re both also on Medicare and last year they made us get a supplemental part D. Rest up and know you’re loved. Sue

      • Sue, I hope you will be able to get you some chicken and dumplings soon since it perked up your taste buds. Did you ever say what pill you are taking to keep the cancer from coming back? Is it the Tamoxifen, Arimadex or Femara? I took the Tamoxifen for 5 years. The only side affect I had was severe hot flashes.. I am now on Femara. Been on it for 7 1/2 years. Have 2 1/2 years to go. I would like to continue it from now on. I have Had no side affects with that. My friend Tracy couldn’t take the Tamoxifen and had to go on the Arimadex. After 5 years of that her doctor took her off of that and didn’t put her on anything else. He kept telling her he was doing more research and giving her the run around. It came back and in 3 years she was gone. I have been so upset with her doctor. My oncologist said he would start seeing her if she wanted him to. She didn’t want to hurt her doctors feelings.I hope that is what is making you sick and when it gets out of your system you will heal.
        Tonie I also hope you will be able to get your insurance you need since you just got put on Medicare. I also have Medicare part D because of all the medications I take.
        Chris, it sounds like you had a great weekend. I would have loved too have been there. I am getting sleepy so I must stop before I start writing crazy stuff. Praying for everyone. LOVE YOU all. You too Jennie!!

  9. Well, here it is at 5 am. I have been awake since 3:30. I woke up with an upset stomach. Drinking ginger ale and praying it passes on thru. I have too much going on to be sick now. maybe I can get back to sleep again for a while. Talk at ya’all at a more decent hour 🙂
    Love
    Tonie

  10. Donna, Yes, I’m on Tamoxifen. I hope it’s the culprit. I’ve had more than enough of this GI stuff. Nausea is the worse thing ever and it also messes with the bowels. I’m sorry you lost a friend to cancer.
    Are you feeling better yet? Life gets so complicated, doesn’t it? Just when we think we’re having a good day then WHAM…right in the face. Yesterday I had a good day without nausea and then was struck with diarrhea and now this morning, good old nausea is back. I have to go to Portland, two hours away in two days and am dreading the trip.
    Once again…let us know how you’re doing this week. Love, Sue

    • Sue, feeling a little better today. Have been drinking a lot of fluids as you suggested. Mostly hot tea. Decaf. of course. I woke up this morning about 4:00 AM feeling sick to my stomach. Used one of my pills the doctor had given me. You put it under your tongue and in few minutes it was gone, the nausea. They really work for me. They are Hyoscyamine .125mg TAB SL common brand, Levsin SL. You put 2 under your tongue and let them dissolve. They work very fast. Sorry I haven’t mentioned them before now. I have to go for my bone density test tomorrow. I dread it because of having to lie down which makes my breathing worse. God will help me through. Will write again tomorrow. LOVE to all , Donna

      • Donna, Thinking of you tomorrow. I have used hyoscyamine for years. It used to be called Anaspaz. Try to think about something else while you’re on that dreaded table tomorrow. Hang tight. Glad you’re a bit better. Fondly, Sue

  11. Oh bummer sue the nausea is back
    Quick note to say Jen is no good she has a lot going on at moment.her eye pain is bad and her IBS .she will post when she can but sends her love
    Chris

  12. Morning my peeps:
    Sue I commiserated with you yesterday. I woke up at 3 am with nausea and the “runs”. Was so sick all day yesterday. I FINALLY took an immodium which I hate to take. It usually stops me up for days afterward. I had to go to town, so picked me up some Pepto, which helps me as well. Tea and yogurt this am, with a banana. Hate these virus. But it is amazing how quickly they go huh ?
    Did some shopping on the net yesterday, got a lot of things done. Got to get going now and go to the Dr for the day 🙂 3 appts today, and hope I feel up to some shopping while in the city. I want to go to Ross. Lovely place. Lots of good deals. THis is the first time in many years I have had to shop in December. I usually shop all year long and am done. Hate the crowds and rude people, but …oh well.
    Love to all Hope you are having a better day.
    Tonie

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