LIFE HERE IN PAINVILLE

Amy Casey Painting

A painting by Amy Casey, You can find more at: http://www.amycaseypainting.com/

Our little village is not listed on any maps, praised on any tourist pamphlets lining the walls of a travel agency nor is it on MapQuest. No, it is a city long lost in the fog of denial as most individuals occasionally arrive, spend a night in one of our fine motels, or hospitals and then move on in the morning.  Its beauty is hidden for most visitors in the effect of their pain medication as they recover from the short term pain they are experiencing, and then return to their lives. They forget about the pain they have experienced as they move back to “regular” life. Many of us permanent residents have come to appreciate the intrinsic beauty of our home, over time and years of attitude adjustment. You see, those of us with chronic pain have long ago accepted this as home. We have nestled in, planted new hopes in the gardens of our lives and seek to appreciate the beauty that surrounds us. We have learned the pain we feel each day does not have to ruin our lives; therefore we seek other ways to value our time and our days.

 

None of us chose to live here, but like so much of life, it just happened. We had other destinations in mind, other aspirations and goals we sought to achieve. Somehow, we were chosen, drafted and uprooted to live in this place. The selection process remains a mystery to me. For many of us our arrival was a painful, embarrassing display, which involved much kicking, screaming and rage. I’m ashamed to look back at all the talking, questioning and pain-whacked seeking I did, just because I wanted some answers to why I was selected. I was heading in another direction when I came here. I never found the answers to the questions that I once sought; but I did find new answers as the old questions became inconsequential. The “Why’s” and “Why me?” were soon forgotten as I grew tired of the thrashing about and decided to, instead, look around me and see what I could make of this new place and the condition that brought me here.

 

Painville is unlike any other town on earth. In many ways it is a mystical place much like a magic kingdom. It may take awhile for your eyes to adjust to the change and for you to develop the sight to appreciate all that surrounds you. It is a village defined by relativity. There are many roads leading into this town and few lead out. Others just travel in circles through the byways of our lives or simply come to stall in cul de sac’s. You see, some of us can never leave therefore we have made the most of our destination and decided to turn it into a place where life can be full, free and filled with light. The fog has lifted for us and we can see beyond the pain to achieve more in our hearts and minds than simple suffering allows.  It’s not that we have given up the fight; we’ve just learned to battle in a wiser way which does less harm to ourselves and our families.

 

I’m not certain if the magic is within us and affects our eyesight or if the mystical qualities are in our hamlet. I simply know that life is transformed once you have lived here awhile.  Stark, uprooted lives become fed, fertilized and bloom once again. Families, some torn apart, may be reunited and find solace in the beauty of life that can be seen through the fog of pain. The smallest gifts of nature, the robin on the fencepost, the squirrel scampering up a tree and the ferns bursting out of the ground are seen in a gentler yet more vibrant light.

 

There’s much humor to be found in Painville. Our town hall meetings can become riotous at times as new arrivals must filibuster for awhile. We don’t allow violence but occasionally someone slips through who kicks over a chair, punches out a window or tries to choke one of our town doctors. We understand as we patiently listen and remember. Then we eventually pull them off the poor doctor and explain to them that it isn’t his fault they are here. Sometimes at the town meetings the new arrivals rant and rave and want to blame their parents, their spouses or even God for bringing them here. Again, we understand because many of us have done the same in days past. There are other times when new arrivals drive endlessly, spending all of their valuable emotional fuel looking for a way out because they haven’t found the quiet and peace of heart that comes with acceptance. We often watch them drive by as we resume our lives, plant our flower beds, cook our simple dinners and bask in the sunshine of new dreams and aspirations. We know they will settle down, eventually. We know new, undiscovered talents will be revealed.

 

Tragically, some of our residents never do settle down. They escape rather than accept. They use various escape routes. Since most of the roads lead back here, they flee into alcohol or an excessive amount of pain pills. We always try to help them but many become angry and hold onto their animosity like a snarling dog holds onto its bone.  You see, there is free will here in Painville. We are aware change comes from within and cannot be thrust upon us from an outside force. Some particularly angry individuals end up driving in circuitous circles for the rest of their lives. It’s a tragedy that comes with freedom of choice as we watch them head out on Highway Self-pity because we know it will lead to Nowhereville. They’ll be back but will they be different? I wonder.

 

We are blessed with many houses of worship, a rather ornate movie theater and several beautiful garden nurseries. We have the internet, cable TV and a fully equipped health food store. Many of us have enjoyed inspirational films and have learned many lessons from them. I remember the simple lessons of THE KARATE KID each time I am reminded of the importance of exercise and function in our daily lives. It’s a simplistic approach but an excellent reminder to keep moving to stay strong. “Wax on, wax off;” both arms, please. This is not a simple concept when one is in constant or even intermittent pain. We have many pet stores and dog parks as our pets are a particularly restorative part of our daily lives. Our four-footed friends give and receive love as well as giving comical accent to each day. They represent for us, the purest form of life as they reflect the way they were treated, trudge on when injured or aging and always show affection for those they love. They offer the purest and most innocent love imaginable. Pets are some of our wisest teachers and often embarrass our counselors by getting better results; they’re also less expensive than counseling. Our pets also enrich our lives by constantly reminding us of the brevity of life and therefore its value.

 

I believe my favorite aspect of life in Painville is the people you meet in daily life. They live here because they are struggling, suffering and constantly challenged by disease or chronic pain. Some have both. We have much in common, although we represent every ethnic, religious and social group you can imagine. Apparently, chronic pain does not differentiate between a king or a commoner, a rich man or poor one nor does it care about your background. Chronic pain usually chooses us at random although there are times genetic influences enter the picture. The beauty of having these friends in our village comes in the form of empathy, understanding and sharing of ideas. These ideas come to us in a difficult fashion as does most learning and we are eager to share what we know with each other, for knowledge and for mutual support.  There is a certain comradery among all who suffer. We are, however, often divided into two camps of philosophy and thought. One group believes in trudging on ahead in search of joy and life while the other group is stalled in complaint, drug abuse and self-pity. Life is beautiful here in Painville but as you can see, complex. Freedom of choice runs rampant here and as long as one hurts no one other than themselves, it is allowed. One thing we each understand is the value of forgiveness if we are to move on with our growth toward peace.

 

We’re each on a different time table and each find our own way with all the dignity we can muster, all the pride we have left and all the determination it takes anyone who must face challenges in all areas of life. Many are rebuilding. Many are recovering. Many have learned the value of the 15 Minute Theory. This is when one learns just how much can be accomplished in 15 minutes if one rewards oneself with a rest or other diversion. Life is ever changing among the residents of Painville.  We evolve, we often revolve, we are involved in each other’s lives and we will all surely survive.

 

I hope this explains and describes just a bit about our fair little village. I hope you don’t have to move here but if you do, it’s really not all that bad. You will come to accept it’s perimeters but also it’s beauty. I guarantee its possibilities but the results will be up to you as you enter a new dimension of thought.

 

All are welcome here. We’re always open and the WELCOME mat is always out, so wipe away your grudges and try not to track them in. We’ll help you in any way we can.

 

142 thoughts on “LIFE HERE IN PAINVILLE

  1. Sue
    This is brilliant and so clever. Who would have thought ot this description.
    I love the picture as well
    It does seem as if most people who live here get on ..even better than the real world!
    Gonna read it again
    Chris

    • Chris, I’m pleased you felt this emotion of the piece. I love the picture too. Natalie always does a brilliant job of choosing, doesn’t she? Hope you’re okay. Did you take that stroll by the neighbors…? Be good to you, okay. Love, Sue

  2. Sue, this is such an awesome description of what we all live through each day. I couldn’t wait to read each paragraph. You have been given such a wonderful gift and I appreciate it as I know the others do also. As I read each paragraph a beautiful peace fell over me and I thank you for that. You touched on everything in our lives. I pray that it blesses you as much as it does us. Hope you are doing good today. I had lunch with my youngest daughter today. We had a good visit. Not hurting too bad today, more stomach problems and feeling very tired. I guess Saturday’s outing is still lingering. My husband just came and said the moon is full and red in colour and beautiful so I am going to go check it out. Sue, thank you once again for touching my life and my heart. Love you my friend. Donna

    • Donna, Sometimes I get more of a blessing than most as I search my own life and heart to explain how I feel. Sorry you’re having stomach trouble but glad you got to spend time with your DD. Thank you for appreciating my work. Love you too, Sue

  3. Sue this article is beautiful! I am not comfortable yet in this house, still searching for my why but am trying so hard to find a way to live my remaining life in pain. So many things have been lost, so much I can not do. With each new season I am unable to tolerate the thing I could just a year ago.

    I will be keeping this and pulling it out time to time to reflect on where I am in Painville.

    With gratitude always

    Darcy

    • Janet, Thinking about you and wondering how you’re doing. Pray you’re well as can be. Love, Sue

  4. HELLO……WHAT A BLOG, SO THOUGHT PROVOKING. I DON’T CHOSE TO BE A PERMANENT RESIDENT IN PAINVILLE, NOR DO ANY OF US, BUT THINGS CREEP UP ON YOU I GUESS, AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU’RE THERE…….BEST THING I SUPPOSE IS TO DIG YOUR ROOTS IN DEEP AND TRY TO GROW, DESPITE PAINFUL DAYS……I PICTURE US ALL LIVING IN THOSE LITTLE HOUSES, AND GROWING IN THE GARDEN, DEPENDENT OF THE SUN TO HELP OUT BONES ETC. I AM RAMBLING I THINK, BUT THIS BLOG WENT VERY DEEP AND MADE ME THINK OF WHERE I AM AT.
    LOVE TO ALL, AND THANK YOU SUE FOR THOSE WISE WORDS…………..JENNIE XXXX

    • Jennie, No, I doubt if any of us have chosen this residence but there it is and all we can do is try to still find comfort, joy and meaning in our lives. I know how disheartening it can be and often get so sick of feeling that way I think I can’t face another day but fortunately that feeling passes if I move…do something…go somewhere, etc. Lethargy is so difficult to overcome and depression so often brings it along as a companion, you know? Hang in there dear friend and the answers eventually come. Our bright days in the gardens of our lives may not be plentiful but I’ll settle for a few. It’s kind of like the Oregon weather. We have learned to stop complaining about the rain because it seldom lasts long. Thankfully we get sun breaks and can see all the good the rain has done. Sometimes I realize where I am when others travel or talk about activities they are able to do and it hurts and I’m jealous but I believe that’s okay. Acceptance is a good thing if we don’t draw the line too tightly and still reach.Love you, Sue

      • HI SUE…..YES YOU ARE RIGHT AS ALWAYS……THE MOOD CHANGES SO QUICKLY WHEN YOU GET “A GOOD DAY” IT LIFTS YOU, AND YOU FEEL YOU CAN DO ANYTHING (WELL ALMOST) THEN BACK IT ALL COMES, AND YOU THINK “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YESTERDAY”……I AM HANGING IN THERE SUE……I AM SURE I WILL BE ALL THE BETTER FOR MY MOM BEING HERE, JUST OVER A WEEK NOW…..CAN’T WAIT, SHE HAS NEVER SPENT A MONTH WITH ME …EVER.
        YEP ITS OREGON WEATHER ALRIGHT, CAN’T MAKE ITS BLOOMING MIND UP WHAT TO DO, WE HAVE HAD RAIN FOR THREE WEEKS NOW OFF AND ON, SO THINK WE ARE ABOUT DUE FOR SOME SUN….SAME FOR CHRIS TOO AS WE ARE ALMOST OPPOSITE GRAPHICALLY TO HER PART OF THE WORLD.
        I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT WISHING YOU COULD TRAVEL LIKE OTHER FOLK, MY KIDS ARE OFF TO CANADA NEXT MONTH, A PLACE THAT USED TO BE ON MY BUCKET LIST ALONG WITH NEW ZEALAND, BUT HAD TO SCRUB THOSE OFF THAT LIST AS WELL AS MANY OTHER THINGS. TRICK IS TO BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT WE HAVE AND WHAT WE CAN STILL DO, YES??? I MUST STOP NOW THIS IS READING LIKE AN EPIPHANY…….I LOVE YOU MY FRIEND….JENNIE XXXX

  5. Sue:
    I was just thinking the other day, how I couldn’t remember what it was like to wake up without pain, or feeling good Life has taken a twisting turn in which the permanent pain in which we live is something that changes us. I know I don’t like it here, but…..I am fixing up my house as well as I can. Cause, unless God prevails, we are here for the duration. Changing things around to suit me and altering some things to make it easier on my body.
    Had my teeth cleaned yesterday by the most gentle hygienist I have EVER encountered. My mouth is barely sore. SHe said she wanted to NOT be like the others digging for gold in there. Sigh, but they found 3 little cavities that must be taken care of. We got all the rest of the posts in the ground yesterday eve for the barn. Got in the house at 8:50 ! So today is light duty.
    I had to carry the chicks up to the henhouse after dark, they just didn’t want to go in there. Hoping they will tonight.
    Janet praying you are doing well.
    Take care
    Love
    Tonie

    • Oh Tonie, those poor chicks. Got truly frightened the other night, huh? Poor things. Hope you can get that pen secure for them. Glad you had a gentle hygienist..a true bonus but understand about the cavities. When did you last have a bone scan?
      Wow, what a long day you had but you do have the satisfaction of knowing those posts are in and life can progress on your projects. So much on your plate right now, I know. Moderation when you can but sometimes you just have to jet through then cool your engines for the next day. You have so many good things coming your way. Love, Sue

      • SUe, just had a bone scan done, in the “not good: stage. Another long day, and I am out for the count here really soon. I had to play “gather the chicks” again tonight. It will take them a while to go back up at night.

    • Thanks Tonie, I’m about the same. I love keeping track of your adventures. I know how difficult things are for you at times, but I am envious that you still can ride. I haven;t been able to do that for several years and I miss it. One time when I was losing my chicks it turned out to be a chicken snake. They can slither thru chicken wire. After I shot a couple of them the chicks quit disappearing. Don’t know if you have those in Virginia, mine were in Texas. When I lived in the Seattle area it was a red tailed hawk, I had neglected to put a roof on, I was very new to farm life when we moved there, having always lived in the suburbs. Take care, Love, Janet

      • Janet:
        Not sure how much longer I can ride, it is really hard on my knees. BUT…Baby will pull a cart, so I am in the market for one. Then when I don’t ride I can CART !! We do have chicken snakes, but not see one in many years. The horses wouldn’t let me spray them down for flies today. THey saw the white bottle and knew, wouldn’t come near me 🙂 BRATS ! I am hoping to get some riding time in this weekend. It is such nice weather now. You take care. Oh yeah, we have the red tailed hawks as well. That is what the rooster is for 🙂
        Love
        Tonie

  6. Good morning Sue, and all residents of Painville! I’m new to following you Sue, but already have found comfort in your writings. I’ve been battling chronic pain for years, approximately 15+. My condition started with degenerative cervical discs; after all conservative treatment failed I opted for multiple level discectomy and fusion. The surgery was a failure, lack of fusion at one level and too small of bone grafts caused my neck to “fall forward” and fuse in that position. My days consist of constant muscle spasms and pain with any range of motion. I had to resign my position almost one year ago; I grieve for my job but more so I grieve for the family activities I am no longer able to do. Riding in a car is a no-no for me; the vibrations and bumps lay me up for days. Anyway, I wanted to introduce myself, I am happy I’ve found others that understand. So many people look at me and see nothing wrong, and I don’t know how to explain. But I know you all do. God bless you Sue. Since reading your blogs I look for beauty in my little world! Everyone have lovely day.

  7. Mama transferred home on hospice today. All meds & treatments stopped including insulin and Parkinson’s meds Mom said she was “done with all that”. Receiving oxygen and pain meds only if needed. Having everyone there seemed to bolster her spirits and she’s had a good day yesterday and today. She could have a few days to a few weeks left- no idea.
    I drove home this morning so I could be at work by 11. I am beyond weary and alternating between tearful and numb. Overall I have peace about Mom’s decision and praying that she goes peacefully and quickly. Thanks so much for praying. Love to all

    • Annie, you know you have my prayers for strength for yourself as well as comfort and basically the same for your dear Mom. She’s a wise woman. It seems to me from all you’ve said over the years that she hasn’t really been the same since your Dad passed and might long to be with him now. She’s tired and it sounds like she desires peace. God bless you and your whole family at this time of passage. Love you, Sue

      • I think you’re right Sue. I take a lot of comfort in the thought of her and Daddy together again, and of her singing…

    • Annie, you and your mom along with your family are in my prayers. I pray for your strength and peace. I know you are tired and I pray you are able to get some rest. I pray for your mom that she has peace and I pray for her passing to not drag out and most of all that she is not in any pain. God be with all of you. Love you Annie, Donna

  8. Annie
    Such times…..look after yourself .
    I expect My dads ending will be much the same with his Parkinson’s
    You have my prayers .
    Chris

  9. ANNIE……..YOUR FAMILY ARE AMAZING, BEING WITH YOUR MOM TILL THE END, ITS HOW EVERYONE WANTS TO GO AT THEIR TIME………..PLEASE GOD HER PASSING WILL BE EASED BY ALL OF YOU, BUT I WISH IT DIDN’T HAVE TO HAPPEN AT ALL………..STRENGTH SWEET LADY AND COURAGE, YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS……LOVE YOU …JENNIE XX

  10. Jennie, I know. So much of life has to be sacrificed to this way of life but yes, we must go on as best we can or we are miserable and that is no way to live. Prayers for your Mom to have a good journey to you. I also know there will be times you two will probably get on each others nerves a bit, but that just happens with relatives and company in general. Hope she can entertain herself some and you can get some quality time to rest or read or whatever as well. Perhaps this will bring some good opportunities for the two of you to get to know each other better and learn some new things about each other. Life is always full of new twists and turns along the way. Love, Sue

    • HI SUE………..MOM IS GOOD AT ENTERTAINING HERSELF, SHE WILL GO UP TO HER ROOM WITH HER BOOK, DOZE AND READ FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS, AND SHE WILL DUST EVERYDAY BECAUSE ITS WHAT SHE DOES IN HER OWN PLACE…..GUESS WHAT I WILL LET HER TOO DAMN RIGHT I WILL…..SHE HAS MORE ENERGY THAN DH AND I PUT TOGETHER. I BOUGHT HER A T-SHIRT IN HER FAVOURITE COLOUR, I KNOW IT WILL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS ANYTHING MY SISTER WILL GET HER, BUT I DID IT WITH A GOOD HEART AND NOT IN COMPETITION.
      I HAVE ALWAYS HAD A FACE YOU CAN READ LIKE A BOOK, SO SHE WILL KNOW WHEN I AM GOING DOWN.
      CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HER……LOVE YOU….JEN X

      • Jennie, Sounds good. I think with all company or visitors space is needed. It’s often so difficult to be in a room with someone and not talk all the time. I know you’re excited and all that dusting…do you loan her out??? I really see this kindness on your part as an opportunity for both of you. Life is so very short, you know?
        I bought a new sofa table and it was delivered a few mins. ago. Looks good behind the couch. Hope Jim likes it as I picked it out on my own but think I know his taste well enough that he will.
        Sorry your weather has been so unpredictable. We had rain last night but clear and lovely today. I intended to put a layer of Varithane on our outdoor porch Teak settee but think it’s still a bit damp. Good excuse to wait another day. Very sore today after grueling PT yesterday. Always good to get an update on you. Love you, Sue

  11. Home now.
    On way back we stopped in this old village that has a tea shop…and visited the church nextdoor
    Well it was old, built in the 1100s and I sat at the back on my own …DH had gone outwalking around outside….I tried to absorb all the people that had been there before…all their reasons ,hopes, sadnesses,it was so still
    The wind was howling around……and guess what my blimmin phone went and rang ..forgot to turn it off!!
    So had to rush out .doesnt seem right to talk on phone in church even if u are on your own
    But said a prayer for all and my thoughts for Annie and her family.
    Hosp appt for DH ears tomorrow ,then to see my dad .it was the Parkinson’s nurse that rang me at church..
    He’s not taking meds when he should and he was arguing with her that he was.but in his weekly pack yesterday’s meds all there and this mornings.now he says he mite not have and he will take them every 4 hrs
    He is sleeping a lot in the day and he denies taking sleeping tabs but then he says he will only take a half tonite and so I know he does take them.and he so shouldn’t as they interfere with the Parkinson’s tabs and he goes worse .but I dunno that could be because he doesn’t take those anyway
    .but maybe he will be better now taking the meds as he should.
    Had a lot of gales and some mess to clear up in the garden
    Gonna read now
    Chris

    • CHRIS…..WHAT A THING TO HAPPEN IN CHURCH OF ALL PLACES, BET YOU FELT AWFUL, I’VE SEEN WORSE THINGS HAPPEN IN CHURCH, TRUST ME.
      YOUR DAD SEEMS TO BE IN A MUDDLE WITH HIS TABLETS, SHOULD HIS DOCTOR KNOW, JUST ANOTHER WORRY FOR YOU TO COPE WITH.
      THESE GALES NEVER STOP, THOUGHT IT HAD ALL DIED DOWN THIS MORNING, THEN JUST AS DH HAD PUT THE TROUGHS ON THE WINDOW LEDGES, IT POURED DOWN AND THE WIND STARTED HOWLING AGAIN, MY POOR LITTLE DOG HATES IT…………HOPE YOU ARE OK YOURSELF SWEETHEART….LOVE JEN X

    • Chris, What a lovely, old English picture you paint for all of us about your visit to the ancient church. I don’t believe the spirits, or ghosts of worshipers past were disturbed by your phone ringing. They probably thought it was humorous. I know it struck you as embarrassing, though and I’m sorry for that. I don’t know if you’re always aware of this with so many problems in so many directions, but you have a very interesting life my friend and so does DH.
      Oh the problems with your Dad are so typical of his age and independent, rebellious spirit but also very alarming. That’s the problem with the private way he lives; no nurse to pass out the medications. It is a concern, I know. Wow, sounds like you did get rocked with some wind. Hope all is well after clean-up.I once had a pot with a holder on wheels and we get such wind it just threw that big potted plant right off the porch. Have to tie on chair pads or they head toward the river. I was a bit busy this AM, went looking for a new microwave but wore out and came home without one. Need to go to Costco this weekend with Jim so he can carry if we buy one. Mine just kept making that whirring sound after it was turned off last night. I unplugged it. Scared me. Once those go bad, that’s it for me. Thankfully, they aren’t that expensive to replace. Later now dear. Hope Dad behaves for himself and you, Love, Sue

  12. Sue, love this! Is this a reappearance of an earlier blog post from the other site, a re-work, or new that just reminds me of an older post? I do remember Painville from before – it was one of my favorites. 🙂 Loved this, of course. So true. I do hope your new sofa table is a big hit.

    Annie, my prayers for you, your mom, and family continue.

    • Lyn, Yes, I once wrote a similar one called Welcome To Painville. Glad you liked both of them. Indeed, I think all of the regulars on here are concerned for Annie and her dear Mom during her transition from this world to the next. Hope all is well with you and family. Love, Sue

  13. Tonie, SO frustrating for you to spend so much time on your shed project and still not being able to level it. Sorry. Hope today is a better day for you. Also hope the chickens are staying safe. Life is hard enough for most of us without having this kind of irritation and disappointment. My yard guy brought some dope with him the other day and when the yard guy asked him to clear out all the slimy wildflowers up, that guy took out all of my ground cover around the mailbox. It took me two years to get it the way I wanted it. I was in tears I was so disappointed. Then I asked him to lightly trim the bay tree so I could take several branches to friends around town and he, our regular guy, threw them in his truck with the trash. I was furious. I have several friends at doctor and dentist office who love to get a branch of fresh bay leaves. They’re so expensive in the stores.AAGGHH! Some days just are bummers and that’s it.
    Once again I am so happy for you to know the older grands will be coming soon but know it puts a lot more pressure on you to get things accomplished. Hang in there dear lady. Be kind to you body as much as possible. Love you, Sue

  14. Great blog, Sue!! I always look forward to it!! I too live in “Painville” and I’m just trying to make the best of it. God Bless you and everyone else living here in “Painville”!

    • Jennie, Hope you got to the emergency room and got an antibiotic going for the bladder. Hope you feel better soon with your Mom coming. Lots of fluids by mouth. Cranberry caps are good. Cranberry juice keeps the bacteria from clinging to the walls of the bladder but the juice itself is full of sugar unless you can find an unsweetened version and can tolerate it. Love you, Sue

  15. HELLO….IN BRIEF…UTI AS SUSPECTED, HAD THE BEST TREATMENT EVER, SUCH KINDNESS, SEEN AT ONCE, BLOODS URINE AND SCAN ALL DONE, RESULTS IN BEFORE DISCHARGED, ANTI-BIOTICS ETC…….TIRED NOW BEEN A ROUGH DAY, SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR IT BEING A SHORT ONE, AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN JANET AND CHRIS….LOVE JEN XX

  16. Good news Jen .rest over w.end. Feel better after a couple of days on meds.then better for your mum comming.

    Well I had another random glucose test but done at the lab,not a finger prick one, and it was much lower so all ok.however I will restrict the sugar intake for the future
    I think it is 90 in USA levels
    Has anyone had a mucoid cyst due to their arthritis on their finger? .just wondered

    Sue
    How awful those blimmin gardeners. I would feel the same as you after growing them .a similar thing happened to my mums garden some years ago.they cut a fir tree down she had been growing to cover something up
    .i hope you get the micro you want this W.end
    How’s the meds going ? You were taking them every other day?
    Well gonna read now
    Oh yea lyn I’ll try to keep up the walking went again today.my hips do hurt after but it wears off
    Chris

    • Chris,Glad the blood glucose is down in a safe zone. Yes, the gardener felt so badly, because we’ve used him for years, he brought me back some of the bay leaves he got out of his truck full of debris, but do I want to cook with them now? If I didn’t see them come off my tree how do I know they are truly bay leaves and in with the rest of the trash? Not sure but it was a nice gesture.He’s going to paint our retaining wall for us next week. It goes around half of our property because we’re on corner. Won’t take long with a roller. I told him to please not bring that moron and he said, don’t worry, I’m never using him again. Our yard guy is a very sweet mid age man from Vietnam and he gets taken in by every moron on the streets. He’s a bit naive and learns the hard way I’m afraid.
      I had a grueling session at PT due to the nausea this AM and my body, of course. I couldn’t manage half the things unfortunately. Yes, I’m back to taking the chemo drug every other day now, again. I felt so nauseous, bitchy and just generally rotten it was hard to try to get back to some facsimile of normal…whatever that was before I broke the vertebra. Take care dear girl, Love, Sue

      • Hey Sue, I wish you would ask your oncologist about putting you on Femara. There are a lot of people who can not take the pills you are taking. The Femara is one of the last ones that came out when I finished the tamoxifen. I have been on the Femara for 7 1/2 years. I have had no side affects. I know everyone is different and you have had problems with the last two you have taken but I worry about you if you can’t get one that you can tolerate. I will keep praying for you. Did you start to feel sick again because you started taking it everyday instead of every other day? Just know my heart goes out to you. I love you Sue! Donna

  17. Tonie, left you an entry on the last blog. Glad your babysitting family is coming home but sorry it means working again when you have so much to do getting ready for the new digs. Love you, Sue

    • Sue:
      HOW did I end up on that blog ? DUH ! Must have been mostly asleep ! Sorry bout that. Well, slept in a bit this morning. But I got the rest of the garden tilled up and planted a few more things. No my horses aren;t to show. They just need a bath. Yes, I have a lot going on. THe kids are not coming out til the first of June, so that gives me more time. Once we have a date set for delivery and setup, then things will start to go. I have lots to keep me busy. And I have got to stop procrastinating and git er dun !
      Hope you are feeling better. I know you will make the right decision with the meds. Hard to do, but hard to keep being not yourself and sick all the time as well.
      Well, I am falling asleep at the wheel.
      Love to all
      Tonie

  18. Good morning all:
    Wish I could sleep past 6:30 for one morning 🙂 Hey I found this recipe on FB and thought it would be worth a try for many of us.:
    Ginger Ale:
    Ingredients:

    1 cup peeled, finely chopped ginger
    2 cups purified water
    raw honey (optional)
    sparkling water
    1 lemon, juiced

    Preparation:

    Boil 2 cups of water, and add the ginger. Reduce the heat to medium low, and let the mixture simmer for 5 minutes.

    Take it off the heat and strain.

    When serving, use 1 part of ginger syrup and 3 parts of sparkling water. Serve it on the rocks. Sweeten to taste, using raw honey, or stevia, and add some lemon juice. Enjoy in this drink!

    Read more: http://www.bestherbalhealth.com/ginger-ale-recipe-that-relieves-chronic-inflammation/#ixzz3ZdsWdC31
    Follow us: @BestHerbalHealt on Twitter | BestHerbalHealth on Facebook

  19. Hi, folks, must keep this short and won’t post asking for prayers on Facebook… I could really use some today. This is a concert weekend. Last night’s went well, but my right wrist is in awful shape. It kept me awake pretty much all last night with pain. I’ve iced and taken Tylenol. I dare not load up on anti-inflammatory since I need to sing tonight. Not sure how I’m going to do what I need to do today, drive to our concert site, do the concert and drive home. No one lives around me to hitch a ride with. So much I wanted to get done around here, too. Time for more ice… and some breakfast.

    • LYN ….MY WRISTS WERE LIKE THAT, BUT IMPROVEMENT SINCE I BOUGHT A MAGNETIC BRACELET, I KNOW THEY DON’T WORK FOR EVERYONE, BUT IT HAS HELPED ME A LOT, IMPRESSED BECAUSE WHATEVER FOLKS ASK ME TO TRY, IT NEVER WORKS, SO A FIRST FOR ME……IF YOU DO, GET A GOOD FIT SO ITS CLOSE TO YOUR SKIN, AND AS MANY MAGNETS AS POSSIBLE…..THIRTY SHOULD DO IT…….THINKING OF YOU PET……………………PRAYERS. ……JENNIE XX

    • Lyn,, of course, prayers, hugs, concern. Lord, help Lyn get through this day and drive to and from her concert safely. Help her to sing sweetly and with your blessing and guidance. Love you, Sue

    • Lyn, Just got on here for the first time today. Some have prayed already for your drive there but Lord, I ask you to let Lyn have a good concert without pain. Lord I ask you to keep Lyn safe as she drives home. I pray that she will not be in any pain with her wrists as she is driving. I ask you Lord to heal Lyn from the top of her head to the soles of her feet. All of us thank you for what you are going to do and that she will see the healing manifest. I pray that prayer for everyone on this blog Lord. You are a healing God and all of us who claim you as Saviour has that promise from you. We love you Lord and we thank you again for what you are going to do in each and everyone of us. LOVE YOU Lyn. Donna
      I love all of you!

      • Lyn:
        Prayers for you daily anyway, but special prayer for this and that your wrist will be healed. In Jesus name
        Love
        Tonie

    • Lyn, sorry your wrists are so painful. Didn’t see this in time to pray before your concerts but I pray for your rest and recovery now. By the way, the musical clip you put on Facebook was so lovely. Really lifted my spirits!

  20. Dear Sue,

    My name is Ashlee. I’m co-founder of the Youshare Project, with the mission to connect people around the world through true, personal stories. I recently stumbled across your blog and read the above post entitled “Life Here in Painville.” It’s beautifully written and such a creative approach to sharing what it’s like to live with chronic pain. I think it would make a wonderful youshare, because I would not only relate to the many others around he world living with chronic pain but also allows those not living with chronic pain a glimpse into this life.

    If this sounds interesting to you, I would love to email you directly with more information and formally invite you to share your story with the project. My email address and website are below. I hope to hear from you soon.

    Best,
    Ashlee
    http://www.youshareproject.com
    ashlee@youshareproject.com

  21. Hi quick note
    Off to shed tomorrow.looks like nice weather for a few days,be back Thursday.
    Dh has another rash where shingles was and has ointment for it,so hope it clears up this time
    I’m still doing my walking.its a slow process but I’m now looking forward to it each day now!
    It does ache but eases
    Hope all are ok and sue with these meds ,…have you gone back to every other day with them to try again
    Maybe Donna,s comments on the meds will offer help on them..I hope so.but hope you had a good w.end and able to get out to do your garden…and the wall painted ok
    Lyn hope all is well
    Jen not long now till your mum is there. Hope you are feeling better
    Tonie…busy busy I bet!
    Chris

    • Chris, Hope you have a wonderful time at the coast and get some rest and sunshine. Hope DH gets along okay with the creme and gets better. Poor guy. I painted the settee which is two chairs joined by a table. It’s made out of teak and was drying out so put some varnish on it. Did a bit of puttering but not up to much else. Yes, I’m on an every other day schedule now and we will see. I am having so much more joint pain on this drug and keep wondering if it’s the drug or the PT> Have fun and keep walking dear girl. Love you, Sue

  22. Happy Mother’s Day to all nurturing ladies and Moms!

    Thanks to all who said a little extra prayer on my behalf. I made it through the day yesterday. DH and I traded cars for the day – no way I could drive my own – and the trip was thankfully uneventful. The concert went well and I used a stand (had to) for all but one piece. I had a solo in that one and she had us (another soloist in the piece) stepping forward. Turning pages with the brace on and not tweaking my wrist was a big challenge, but I made it. It was sufficiently swollen last night and today, though. More RICE therapy today! At least I can take anti-inflammatory now that the singing is over. Other joints are thankfully deciding to stay low level for now.

    Beautiful, sunny day here today. I hope it is so in your part of the world. 🙂

  23. SUE …SORRY I DIDN’T SEE YOUR POST, BUT REPLIED TO YOU EARLIER…..GOT TO TRY AND SEE THE DENTIST TOMORROW, GOT A TOOTH JUMPING, AND SO AM I EACH TIME IT HITS….ALL I WANTED WAS A BIT OF PEACE TO GET BETTER AND PREPARE FOR MY MOM, I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON, JUST ONE DAMN THING AFTER ANOTHER.
    WATCHED A CONCERT FOR VE DAY 70YRS, LAST NIGHT, IT WAS INCREDIBLE, ALL THE OLD SONGS WERE SUNG FOR THE FAMOUS CHELSEA PENSIONERS, AND SURVIVORS OF WW2, SADLY ONLY A HANDFL LEFT NOW….THE ARTIST WERE ALL FAMOUS SINGERS AND GAVE THEIR TIME FOR FREE, IT WAS SO VERY MOVING, WITH CLIPS OF ALL THAT WENT ON IN THE UK OVER THAT DREADFUL TIME…..NOT FORGETTING YOU GUYS, PLENTY OF CLIPS FROM YOUR BRAVE TROOPS TOO, WHICH MADE IT ALL THE NICER FOR ME……………….HOPE EVERYONE IS HAVING A NICE MOTHER’S DAY, I GET TWO AS THE REST OF EUROPE IS THE SAME AS YOURS BUT UK IN MARCH……………..BONNE WEEKEND EVERYONE…..HUGS …JENNIE XX

  24. Hi all, wanted to wish all you mother’s a very Happy Mother’s Day! All grandma’s too! Hope everyone has a wonderful day and hopefully get to see or talk to your children. My oldest son came yesterday and took me to lunch. My youngest son just called me. He lives almost 2 hours away. I won’t see him today. He just finished a 6 day work week. He needs to stay home and rest today. Of course my oldest daughter lives in New York so she will call me. My other 2 daughters are cooking a meal for me. I will drive over there in a little while. So that is my plans for today. So again I wish all of you a Happy Mother’s day and God Bless you! Not feeling too bad so far. My lymphedema arm is aching today. I think it is because the weather is iffy today. We have the Hurricane off our coast so changes in barometric pressure works on our bodies. I love all of you and as always you are in my prayers. God knows what each of you need. Sending all of you Mother’s Day ((( Hugs))).
    LOVE, Donna

    • DONNA…MAY I WISH YOU THE HAPPIEST DAY EVER…..TO SEE YOUR KIDS OR TALK TO THEM ON THIS SPECIAL DAY, WILL BE SO NICE FOR YOU……ENJOY EVERYTHING….LOVE JENNIE XX

  25. HAD TO DASH TO THE DENTIST…..THOUGHT THERE WAS A HOLE BEHIND A FRONT TOOTH, BEEN JUMPING LIKE HELL…..X-RAY WAS FINE, HE PUT SOME PASTE ON IT,AND GAVE ME A SPECIAL MOUTHWASH….SO FAR SO GOOD.
    GOT A REPLACEMENT GAZEBO TO REPLACE THE ONE THE STORM BLEW DOWN……FROM THE UK THIS TIME, THE FRENCH ONE WAS CRAP.
    WELL DID EVERYONE ENJOY MOTHER’S DAY? I THOUGHT OF YOU ALL, I GOT TO SPEAK TO MY SON, AND A MAIL FROM MY DAUGHTER, WHICH WAS NICE.
    WEATHER HAS CHANGED HERE, ITS GREAT, I HOPE ITS THE SAME FOR ALL OF US…….BUSY DAY TOMORROW, GOTTO MAKE A SHEPHERD’S PIE, DO SOME BAKING, TRY AND FINISH THE LAUNDRY AND WASH THE GARDEN FURNITURE DOWN. MY DH IS TAKING SACHA TO FRIENDS FOR TWO DAYS, AND I AM DREADING IT AS I HATE TO BE PARTED FROM HIM, BUT IT WILL BE FINE I’M SURE………………WELL I HOPE YOU ARE ALL OKAY…..MUCH LOVE ….JENNIE XXXXXXXXXXX

  26. Hey Jennie, glad you got to talk with your son and mail from your daughter. That was nice. Did you get to talk to your mom? When is she coming? I am glad your weather is finally good for you. It is 90° here today. We went to summer and spring left us. I hope not. 75 to 80° is good temperatures for spring. It is humid here also.
    My husband is making a homemade pizza. He is ready to put it in the oven. I can hardly wait for it to get done.
    I had a wonderful day yesterday. My two daughters fixed a great meal. Tortellini with chicken, asparagus and boiled red potatoes with garlic and dill along with garlic breadsticks. Then a homemade red velvet cake with cream cheese icing. It was all great. I got a lot of gifts along with some cash as well. Hope everyone else had a great day too!
    Tonie, I am sorry you are having so much pain in your finger. I have problems with my right middle finger. My Rheumatologist injects it too. It has never hurt when he did. I guess it depends on the doctor and how much medicine they use and of course the area to be injected. Mine told me I wouldn’t be able to stand it if he put it in the joint. He puts it on top of the knuckle and I get immediate relief. It usually lasts for a good long while.
    Chris, glad you are at the shed and pray you get to rest some and enjoy it.
    Sue, I know your porch is looking beautiful! You will have to send pictures. I will post more later. My pizza is ready to eat. Yum! Love Donna

    • Donna:
      So glad you had a good day with your girls. I did talk to both of mine and a few grands as well. I rested the day away after church. Too much working and not enough resting 🙂 my hands as so stiff, I am hoping they will clear up a bit with time. Usually does, but sometimes I need some steroids to knock it out.
      Love ya
      Tonie

    • DONNA….MY MOM COMES TOMORROW, YES IT WAS GREAT TALKING TO THE KIDS, I MISS THEM SO MUCH. YOUR MEAL SOUNDS FANTASTIC, HOW COME YOU NEVER SAVED ME ANY?I HOPE OUR INJECTION IN YOUR FINGER IS HOLDING UP AND STILL GIVING RELIEF…….LOVE YOU….JENNIE XX

    • Donna, so pleased you had such a pleasant Mother’s Day. Indeed, the food sounds fabulous. Sounds like your girls learned how to cook from their Mom or was it their Dad. Homemade pizza, yum. Yes dear, my porch is looking beautiful. We’ve had rain, as usual, every few days but still must water on the covered porch but no tortuous sun like you’ve had. I don’t miss the heat at all living here in OR. Love, Sue

  27. Mom update: Eating very little. Sleeping a lot. Mostly lucid when she is awake. Occasional hallucination from what I can tell. Still putting out urine but it’s getting darker. Moderate pain, occ severe enough for pain meds but she wanted to stay awake I think since everyone was there. Told my sis to medicate her before bed last night.
    I took her some coffee and a little breakfast before I left town this morning. Had a really hard time saying goodbye to her. She just kept clinging to my hand, and looking deep into my eyes. I didn’t want to leave her. 😢
    Thanks so much for all of your sweet thoughts and prayers. I’m sure that is what is carrying me through this time. Love to all, 👑

    • Annie, please know you are in all of our thoughts and prayers as is your dear Mom. I know your heart is breaking at the nearness of losing her and many of us have been through that loss and understand. I hope you find peace as your life goes on. Will you be able to get back up to OK anytime soon? If not, I’m sure from the way she looked into your face, she understands, loves and values you and your sweet love. Thoughts for you and prayers for peace of heart, Sue

      • Sue, I’m planning to go up Memorial Day weekend. I told mom I would probably stay home this next weekend (15th-17th) as I start back to full time hours on the 18th. She said she understood. I’m in frequent contact with the hospice nurse and if it looks like she is going downhill before then, she promised to call me. My boss is very understanding about all this and I’m free to go up whenever I think I need to. It’s just hard to know when I need to… She’s had so many close calls the last few months. I’m praying for wisdom.

    • Annie, I am praying for you and your family. Also praying for your mom. I am glad you had another Mother’s Day with her. I pray that she will not be in any pain. I am glad she will ask for pain medicine when she needs it. So many won’t you know. Hopefully she is comfortable and at peace. I believe she knows it won’t be much longer by the way she looked deep into your eyes. I know this is going to be hard. I have already been through it with both parents. I do feel they are both watching over me. I pray for you to be at peace Annie. I love you dear.
      LOVE, Donna

      • Annie dear, Each of us who have lost a parent understand. I was closer to my Dad than my Mom and that hit me harder. Because we each understand, you have our prayers for strength and courage. As a nurse, you have seen death so you might gain strength from seeing it as an amputation that is coming. You know it’s going to hurt deeply and it will change your life forever however each of us have already gone through both of those experiences. You will always love her and miss her but in time, you will remember her more as she once was and remember the happy times.
        One of the most common problems that can occur is the “things” in her life. I’ve seen this hundreds of times as siblings struggle to decide how to distribute the belongings of the last surviving parent. In the end, none of the matters. Just remember what matters to you such as the sentimental things that touch the heart. When the time comes, don’t let any old conflicts rear their ugly heads and just remember to approach it all with love while you are grieving. You know about grief work and know it is a laboring process. Give all of this time and grace and while you will be hurting you will also have an opportunity to receive the Lord’s comfort and courage. Please, if you don’t get there in time, don’t beat yourself up…just saying, just in case. Love you, Sue

  28. Morning all
    Pray you are all fine and dandy this beautiful morning. We had wonderful thunderstorms and some rain last evening. I was going to ride, but it was thundering and such and was afraid the storm would hit about the time I got ready to go. Not a good combo. Anyhow, got more garden in the ground, And the rain was certainly needed. Had it not came would have had to water the garden. All the animals are doing good. Loving the weather. Hoping to get to ride today. Gotta work them before the kids get here.
    The county is coming out to okay the building permit, so things should start happening quickly now. I have to start getting the underpenning off, the antenna down, the heater unhooked as well as the water and electric. THe last two are easy, just flipping switches, but lots of work yet to do. I packed up all the fragiles the other day, just goona put the dishes in crates on the floor and leave them for the move.
    The horse show was fun, but didn’t stay long, too tired. Did get some good shots of the barrels and pole bending. Well, better get going. Ms ALice is back today, so back to work tomorrow and I have a bunch to get done today. Sue I reckon you are still recupping and am praying for you. Jennie, enjoy your mom’s visit. Chris, Janet, and everyone else, have a wonderful day.
    Love
    Tonie

    • Tonie, Of course you will be tired, overworked and in pain with all you have to do right now but please take a few breaks, for instance sit down and chat with Ms. Alice whenever possible. You have so much to do please don’t lose sight of all the wonder of it all; a new home, the grands coming to visit, riding, I know sometimes our bodies cry out so loudly we can’t always hear the rest of our life as it moves along, come what may. All sounds good but you know you have my prayers for comfort and freedom from your pain. You’re in my thoughts and I’m happy for all the positives you now have on the way. Love, Sue

  29. I WON’T HAVE TIME TO POST TOMORROW….MOST OF WHAT I WANTED TO DO IS NOW DONE, SO I AM TRYING TO GET INTO TRAVEL MODE………….DREADING IT, AND DREADING LEAVING MY DOG, I KNOW MY FRIENDS WILL DO THEIR BEST FOR HIM, BUT HE LIKES HIS CREATURE COMFORTS….THERE WILL BE NO CUDDLES, AND NO SPECIAL PLACE ON HIS CUSHION ON THE SOFA….ITS “NOT ALLOWED”….HE WON’T UNDERSTAND ALL THE RULES….IS THIS ME BEING SILLY??
    WILL POST ASAP……PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES, I WILL BE THINKING OF YOU ALL …….MUCH LOVE…JENNIE XX

    • Jennie, Hope you have a safe trip and know you will enjoy seeing your Mom and getting a look at her current condition for yourself. Do take care, plenty of pillows and pain pills, for the trip. Pray the weather is pleasant and warm, dry for you as you travel to the airport and back home. Sacha will be fine but yes, I think all of us doggie Mom’s and Dad’s understand how you feel but once you’re home all will be back to normal. Just be good to you, okay? Love, Sue

      • OKAY SUE….THANK YOU…GOT ALL THE PILLS LINED UP, CUSHIONS AT THE READY, WEATHER CONDITIONS LOOKING GOOD NOT TOO HOT……THINKING POSITIVE….LOVE YOU….JEN X

    • Okay, I am confused. I thought mom was coming on the plane and you were picking her up at the airport. Now you are going to get her again ? I missed a post somewhere. ANYWHO ! Be careful !!
      Love
      Tonie
      PS PICTURES !!

      • TONIE…YES MOM DID FLY TO FRANCE, I WASN’T UP TO GOING ALL THE WAY TO HOLLAND TO COLLECT HER….COLLECTED HER AT THE AIRPORT INSTEAD……..JUST TRYING TO CATCH UP WITH ALL THE POSTS I HAVE MISSES….LATER…LOVE JENNIE X

  30. Dear friends, Had a quiet Mother’s Day because didn’t feel like doing anything. Talked to both of the kids, son sent me a gorgeous potted blue/purple hydrangea. Beth understood how I felt and let me decide not to do anything. Yesterday morning I spent projectile vomiting and that’s it. I’ve had enough of this current chemo pill. I can’t go down that road again just as I am getting back a small portion of my strength from all I’ve been through. I’m stopping that poison and will inform the oncologist. I have PT today and will endeavor to make it to that appointment because that’s moving forward even though I am tempted to cancel, I won’t. I will just have to explain to her how I’m feel a bit weak today. Quality of life is the issue right now and I’ve had enough of the other. Please know I have put a lot of thought into this and have reached a point of intolerance. ENOUGH already. I think of each of you daily and you are in my prayers as well as each of you struggle, survive and seek the joys in life. Love, Sue

    • SUe:
      I am so happy that you made that decision. Been requesting prayer for you to make it ! 🙂 I will be happy to see you get back to your old self again. God bless you dear friend !!

      • Tonie, We shall see, won’t we? Had a grueling day at PT. Good kind of sore. Hope you had a fulfilling day but know you’re tired. Love, Sue

    • Good choice, Sue. I think we all understand. Wouldn’t matter if we didn’t, it’s your choice to make. 😉 But I’m pretty sure we do. Thinking of you. Also thinking of you since I’ve got my first case of itchy rash/skin thanks to sun. Didn’t have time for sunscreen before a round of errands with top down, in the sun. scratching a bit here even now and I had sunscreen on today. DH asked me over the weekend when my wrist was so bad and I couldn’t shift how long I’ll be able to drive my cute little car. I really can’t answer that, but frankly the sun exposure my play more a part than the wrist, truth be told. I know you understand. It’s SO annoying! And frustrating since my best temps for joints are warmer. DH just got home from attending the Middle School concert in his district and spending time afterward with the music staff. He’s department chair, and very good about getting out to all the concerts he can. Time to catch up on his day. Take care.

      • Lyn, I believe from my experience it could possibly be that the wrist and the sun exposure could be related. Of course, the wrist could be inflamed or reacting to an overuse you had to do, but do remember some of what we’ve shared on here in the past; when some of suffer sun exposure, the nucleus in the cells of the skin is released, or killed and that debris can settle into joints making them painful as they are being processed by the body. The rheumy I use now has the best and most effective question sheet to fill out all about rashes, hair and skin as well as the usual joint problems and fatigue. More and more they are discovering all of the systems connecting factors and their influence when we have active disease.
        I am sorry you are having this problem, so very sorry. My favorite treatment is either aloe vera jel, which can be sticky for some time or the cortisone cream that has aloe in it. It has only a small amount of cortisone and helps enormously. I buy the three pack at Costco. It absorbs well without stickiness or white marks.
        Please don’t worry about the car right now. I do hope you have a nice snug hat that is sunproof. My fav there again is Wallaeoo hats for structure and quality as well as style. I have some of theirs I have had for years and they still look great. Long sleeves also help enormously. Watch skirts because the sun hits the thighs when we are in a sitting position as well as sandals which expose the feet. Take it one day at a time for now dear friend. Love you, Sue

    • Enough is enough. I’m sure you’ve not made this decision lightly and quality of life is certainly the issue. Prayers for you dear Sue. And lots of love.

    • SUE…SO SORRY MOTHERS DAY WAS SUCH A COCK UP WITH THE PV….CAN’T SAY BLAME YOU FOR NOT WANTING TO CONTINUE WITH THE CHEMO PILL, IF YOU HAVE REACHED INTOLERANCE LEVELS, THAT MUST HAVE BEE PURE HELL………….HOPE THE PT KEEPS HELPING YOU LOVE, KNOW THAT WE ALL NEED YOU TO KEEP AS WELL AS YOU CAN, SO DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU…….LOVE YOU …JENNIE XX

  31. Sue, I totally understand and I don’t blame you at all. I would probably have stopped before now. I hope you start feeling better right away. You will be in my prayers always. I have never seen anyone get as sick as you have on both of these. Glad you had a restful Mother’s Day. I agree that quality of life is more important. You have gone through too much crap and enough is enough! I know PT is hard and I am so inspired by you for not giving up with that. I am going to ask my Rheumatologist to get me back in PT in the pool. My back felt the best when I was going to PT and walking on the treadmill in the pool. I hope you have a good evening Sue. LOVE YOU, Donna

    • Donna, Thanks for your understanding support. I am looking forward to feeling better and making progress at PT> Yes, it’s difficult and I’m beat. Just now got home and had planned to try another shopping trip, only my second by myself but just couldn’t. I was too shaky, so it must be working if it’s that hard. I had to laugh when I read your entry because I remember reading that they train injured race horses by putting them on treadmills in the water. Hey, if it’s good enough for a beautiful creature like that, then it must be good enough for us. Seriously though, I wish our local pool didn’t have so much chlorine. I just can’t take it. I know there are better ways to treat water but they probably do it on the cheap. Hope you get back into water therapy if it helps you previously. Love to you, too. Sue

  32. Sue, great reminder “not to beat myself up if I don’t get there in time”. And as for “things”, I can only think of one or two of my mother’s things that I might want and I certainly am not going to fight if someone else wants the same thing. That’s not the way my mom would want it, and I really don’t think it will be an issue. There were no battles over my grandparents things, I don’t see it happening over mom and dads stuff. The thing I dread facing is to clean out their home. Mom and Dad were both “pack rats” so there is a huge amount of “stuff” to go through. But, will cross that bridge when I get to it, and all of my brothers and sisters will help.

  33. Hi all
    Nice weather here,went home to water my pots last night.its only a 50min drive. So today we will go for a picnic.well of sorts for me as I’m trying to diet.lost 5 lbs Its difficult with the meds I’m on.
    Sue
    I understand your decision and the situation…maybe the tablet Donna talked about could be tried. It’s awful for you with that sickness all the time.good to be free of it and enjoy your new developing fitness and the summer
    Annie
    Prayers.hoping you are coping with your own health as well
    Lyn
    I know what it feels like to wonder about your newly bought car and health.its the same with our shed.
    Health changes ,which make you doubt your previous decisions . It plays on your mind so much.
    But maybe it’s just a flare as you have been so busy

    Well I’m here for two more days.waiting for a phone call from Dr for my DH ear drops.they have stopped making for a while ,the ones he uses for behind his hearing aid.the one they have now given is a atomiser spray and that seems to play up his menieres ,so he can’t use it.
    He needs it becos of fungal infections in the ear that develop when wearing aid all the time .the one he likes he uses regularly to keep it away
    Tonie
    Busy days ahead for you.summer days ahead..all good ,but don’t go rushing and hurting
    Jen
    Today’s the day..enjoy it all if you can with all that’s happening. Goodness you’ve had enough go wrong !
    Well off to make some sandwiches
    Chris

  34. Well here I am again
    Went out today to go to some old haunts ,had a picnic and visited a tearoom for coffee!
    Still doing my walking,but it aches.im still tryin lyn..but my poor butt!
    Gives it nice tomorrow,very chilly tonite tho
    Hope a.. As well as can be
    And Jen and mum home
    Chris

  35. Hi all
    Just posted but apparently I’m waiting for moderation
    It was only a short post.hope all well
    Went for our picnic and to some tearooms
    Hope all ok
    Chris

    • Chris, Sounds like a nice day for you. Hope DH and you feeling okay. Here, still getting over gut affects of drug. Hope to be better tomorrow. Need to take little George in to the vet…ear trouble of some sort but need to be able to do it without going to the BR. PT tomorrow, also. Love, Sue

  36. Hey all:
    Well, long busy day for me. Back at work. But need your prayers for Ms Alice. SHe is exhausted from the trip and going down a bit. Fran met me at the door this morning with tears. Not sure what was going on. I think she just needed rest. She ate and slept and I kept vigil. Came home and right back out to church for a graduation party for one of our girls. Finally homw and ready for bed, another long day tomorrow. Take care all, love
    Tonie

  37. WELL MADE IT HOME……JUST…..NEVER AGAIN, EVER EVER EVER!!! GOING WAS NOT TOO BAD TILL WE GOT NEAR A BUSY CITY AND THE SATNAV PACKED UP, MANAGED TO GET BACK ON TRACK…….STUCK WAITING TWO HOURS AT THE AIRPORT, PLANE DELAYED……HAD A BITE TO EAT, THEN HIT THE ROAD…HUH!! SATNAV GONE AGAIN, LOST OUR WAY, THEN IN GOING ROUND IN CIRCLES, RAN OUT OF PETROL…..NOT MANY SIGNS ON FRENCH MOTORWAYS…….GOT TO THE PETROL BAY WITH ABOUT A TEASPOONFUL LEFT IN THE TANK….ANOTHER FEW MINUTES AND WE WOULD HAVE HAD TO PUSH THE CAR IN………………….GOT HOME AT JUST AFTER MIDNIGHT, FROM 5.45 PM…….POOR DH WAS IN A STATE AS HE KNEW HOW MUCH I WAS HURTING, AND POOR MOM WAS ASLEEP WITH HER HEAD ON HER CHEST, HAD TO KEEP WAKING HER UP, OR HER NECK WOULD HAVE BEEN IN TROUBLE………………..OH I WAS SO GLAD TO GO AND PICK MY LITTLE SACHA UP, GET HOME AND TRY AND CATCH AN EARLY NIGHT………………….I WAS THINKING OF YOU ALL THROUGHOUT, AND HOPING YOU WERE ALL OK……………………MUCH LOVE……………JENNIE XX

    • Jennie, I am so distraught to hear your trip was such a nightmare. Hope you are taking it easy and your Mom and DH are also recovering. What a time of it. Someone was definitely watching over you with the gas situation. Glad to hear all are home and Sacha is okay and happy, I’m sure. Enjoy your Mom and do take care of all the rest. Love you, Sue

      • SUE…….DON’T BE DISTRAUGHT SWEETHEART, I WILL BE FINE, ITS JUST GOING TO TAKE TIME TO GET IT OVER IT, I HAD A FEELING IT WOULDN’T BE STRAIGHT FORWARD…….IS IT EVER?
        HAD A COUPLE OF BUSY DAYS, NOT HAD TIME TO WIND DOWN YET……..HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH YOU, MOM SENDS HER LOVE, SHE KNOWS ALL ABOUT YOU……I LOVE YOU…JEN X

    • Jennie, glad you, your DH and your sweet mom made it back ok. I was worried that you were going to be in a lot of pain on this trip. So sorry you had so many things go wrong. As Sue said, someone was watching over the gas amount for you guys. Glad you made it to get some more before you ran out. All 3 of you need to rest so you can enjoy your mom.I hope the next few weeks will be a wonderful time for you and your mom. Try not to think about the return trip so you can enjoy your time with her. LOVE YOU Jennie. Donna

      • DONNA…..IT WAS A PAINFUL TRI, BUT I FIND ITS BETTER NOT TO DWELL ON IT, TRY AND PUT IT BEHIND ME, ITS JUST A SHAME IT DIDN’T GO TOO SMOOTHLY……NEVER MIND….THE RETURN TRIP IS A DIFFERENT LOCATION, LESS THAN HALF THE TIME, AND A ROUTE WE KNOW VERY WELL….SO WON’T BE WORRYING ABOUT THAT.
        HOW ARE YOU MY FRIEND? I LOVED THE PHOTO’S YOU PUT UP RECENTLY…….LOVE YOU…JENNIE XX

  38. Jennie:
    Glad you made it through all that stuff. Not good when you don’t know where you are. But now rest up and enjoy your mum !!
    Ms Alice is doing some better, still resting a lot. I am off til Tues. now. Gotta run, going to water aerobics this am, and my body needs it bad !!
    Prayers for you all, and thank you for continuing praying for Ms Alice that she recovers herself. I took her out to the sunroom for lunch and she just couldn’t understand where it had came from. I told her that she was still in Cali while her body was here.
    WEll I am off
    Love
    TOnie

    • Tonie, Hope your water work out goes well. I know what you feel about needing it. I had to cancel PT yesterday due to severe bowel cramping and I was so disappointed. I may limp in there but always leave feeling shaky, exhausted but better. It’s progress so I will try to do all the work out I can do here at home today. Gut better. Think it was the chemo finding it’s way out of my system. Raining here off and on all week. Breaks of sun but not enough to fully dry out.
      I know it must be difficult to see dear Ms. Alice going down hill so much. Must have been too much change for her over the summer. Hopefully, you’re right and she will rebound soon as she rests and gets used to her environ. Take care dear friend. Love, Sue

    • TONE…..I WILL BE RESTING UP ASAP…..SO MUCH TO DO, IT WILL BE LIKE THAT FOR A FEW DAYS, TILL MOM GETS HER BEARINGS….AT THE MOMENT ITS TAKING ME TWICE AS LONG TO DO EVERYTHING, COS I HAVE TO KEEP STOPPING TO SEE TO HER NEEDS……I WILL HAVE HER TRAINED BY NEXT WEEK….HA HA!!
      HOPE YOU AND THE CRITTERS ARE ALL OK………MUCH LOVE….JENNIE XX

  39. Well it’s home again tomorrow .back to more Drs apps .
    My dad seems well ,says he’s good..but I don’t think he’s too good .says he’s not going to pay for his carer
    Last time I had to ask the agency for a timetable of the hrs that they came .he has got it now and says he doesn’t agree with it.i will look at it ,but I think it will be ok and my dad is having one of his moments with it..it can be embarrassing with the agency .trying to explain it with it being two months behind will be difficult.
    And another one is now due as well!
    Annie
    Still thinking of you there and hoping you have some peace and your mum also
    Jen
    Hope things are settling into a routine for you and all ok..what a trip you had
    Sue
    Did you manage to do your PT at home?

    Well gonna try and sleep now,done the washing and its dry ,half packed.so it’s just b,fast and go in the morning ,but first have to visit the library here to hand some books back …it’s so funny it’s run by volunteers in the village and it’s still done by tickets and cards in a box and the book stamped with the date to come back. No computers involved..and a nice chat with it as well!..its life back in the 1950s. Love it. Life in the slow lane

    My DD was having the shed here for a few days with her partner,it’s a holiday w.end..but she’s informed us she is going to Kos.so we can have the shed for the hols ,so after all sorted at home and my dads things attended to we will be back
    Well off to try and sleep
    Chris

    • Chris, No, I just laid on the bed with my heating pad and cried like a little girl! I’m just messing with you…couldn’t resist. Yes, I did a few stretches but am in a bout with IBS after the vomiting first of the week. Been on the old potato diet..you know what that’s like.
      Hope you get your Dad’s latest problem worked out. I think he likes to keep things stirred up, huh? I know life is difficult for him and so many at his stage in life. None of us are from that stage of life ourselves.
      I hope you’ve got some much needed rest dear girl. Love, Sue

    • CHRIS…SEE YOU ARE AS BUSY AS EVER…..I HOPE YOU GET ALL DONE SO YOU CAN GO TO THE SHED AND GET SOME R&R….THAT WAS A RESULT YOU DD GOING AWAY, SO YOU CAN GET DOWN THERE.
      HAD TO GO AND GET THIS ACHILLES TENDON PROBLEM LOOKED AT AT THE DOC’S LAST NIGHT, HE SAID TO STOP TAKING PLANT STEROLS, WEAR HIGER HEELS, AND TAKE STEROIDS FOR TWELVE DAYS, GRADUALLY TAILING OFF…..WHACKO!! STILL IF IT WORKS I DON’T CARE WHAT I DO, HURTS SO MUCH AS SOON AS MY FEET HIT THE FLOOR FIRST THING IN THE MORNING…..TOOK THE FIRST DOSE TODAY, AND IT SEEMS A BIT EASIER….WHOOPS, JUST NOTICED THE DODGY SPELLING…YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN THOUGH.
      I LOVE VILLAGES LIKE THAT, SO MANY PLACES TO GO IN THE UK, I MISS ALL THAT…….HAVE A NICE WEEKEND LOVE……….JENNIE XXXX

    • Hi Chris, Doing ok. Finally got my new pain doctor, Started PT this week, so far so good. Just a little sore and tired. With the gym 3 times a week and PT 2 times + all the PT people want me to do at home I am really looking forward to the weekend.
      Hope you get some good sleep. Janet

      • Janet, I’m so proud of you. I know how difficult PT is without those trips to the gym. You’re amazing. Hope you get some down time this weekend. Love, Sue

      • Good grief Janet ! If you are doing the gym 3 x’s why PT as well ? Bless you ! I know it is hard but also makes you strong. Hang in there gal. Been thinking of you. I have been wanting to ride all week, but by the end of the day I can’t ! SO first thing Monday am I think I will ride 🙂
        Love
        Tonie

      • Hi Tonie, Been doing Silver Sneakers at a gym for almost 20 years, the new pain doctor ordered the PT. Did that once before about 5 years ago. It was a lot easier back then.
        Ride those horses they need the exercise and besides I am green with envy. Take care. Love, Janet

  40. Chris, doing so so. Low back pain. Causing hip and leg pain. See the pain doctor next Friday unless I decide and call for an earlier appointment. Staying at home this weekend. Need to rest. Had appointments every day this week. Too much getting in and out of my van and my walker and oxygen tanks. I hope you and everyone else on the blog has a great weekend. LOVE YOU all. Hope you get things straightened out with your dad. Donna

    • Donna, do hope you get some rest and that it helps. Back pain with hip…funny, or not so funny how we’re so interconnected and one part can bring on others. Do rest now. Love, Sue

  41. Hi Donna
    It’s 4 in the morning here and as usual I’m awake
    I do hope the pain goes for you. It does seem to stick for a while I know when I get it there.
    Yes it must be tiring for you with those tanks ,but you are one determined lady
    It will be fine with my dad..I just have to be careful I don’t believe what he sees as well. It’s difficult when your on his side ,but you can see the truth as well.. I suppose it’s just like a child
    Well gonna try and get back to sleep
    Chris

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