TRUE HEARTS AND DAMAGED LIVES

JK Rowling Quote

I’ve often been convinced the spiritual, emotional side of living with chronic illness is just as difficult as living with the pain and the multitude of physical problems. When we’re in good spirits, emotionally high, we can deal with almost anything but when these damaged bodies continue to throb and beat us up, it’s a difficult battle to win. Hundreds of times over the last 30 years I have sunk into the deep hole of depression, crying, wracked with self-pity and piling up the used Kleenex. I find I don’t like it in that hole. It’s dark and the whole world becomes dark, heavy and depraved to the point that one doesn’t want to go on living.

I can’t stand being that depressed and self-pity and I just don’t get along well together. I keep thinking of the proverbial clock I have mentioned to you so many times and can actually hear it’s tick, tock, as a reminder my life is passing by, with each swing of the pendulum. It pains me when I have to throw out outdated food that we haven’t used or see waste of any kind, least of all my own life. (No remarks please, about me being outdated…I know, I know.)

Surely, excuses abound for all of us who suffer chronic disease, injuries which have permanently changed our lives as well as chronic pain. We have dozens of reasons for giving up, being grouchy or just being miserable not only to ourselves but to everyone else. That behavior is such a waste of precious life, resources and relationships. President Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “There are many ways of going forward, but there is only one way of standing still.”

As students of history know, he went on to become President in spite of having polio and living in constant pain and physical compromise. Many of us also have to learn there is a road forward although it might not be the road we have planned for or chosen.

Deep in our hearts we know when we are being disgusting because we feel it in our true hearts. Certainly, we all have the right to be grumpy, grouchy and any one of the other Seven Dwarfs but is that good enough? Shouldn’t our existence be more than that? Is it the highest calling to allow our pain and suffering to suck the very life out of the years we have?

There are many reasons humans suffer. We often get hung up on the physical suffering as we certainly may but there are many forms of pain in this world and today I’d like to tell you about three individuals who have overcome various forms of suffering to rise above.

Laura Hillenbrand, the author of those famous bestsellers SEABISCUIT in 2001 and more recently, UNBROKEN in 2010 is a beautiful young woman who was once offered a contract with Pond’s due to her beautiful skin. As a child she loved to ride horses and even contemplated becoming a jockey. Her education was in mid swing when she was struck by a difficult to diagnose disease now known to be Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. She went through years seeking diagnoses; years when she had difficulty turning over in bed and found showering impossible. She had fevers each day, pain and suffering to such an extent life was hell for her. In a quote from her in 2010, regarding her difficult life, she said, “I’m looking for a way out of here. I can’t have it physically, so I’m going to have it intellectually. It was a beautiful thing to ride Seabiscuit in my imagination. And it’s just fantastic to be there, alongside Louie as he’s breaking the NCAA mile record. People at these vigorous moments in their lives—it’s my way of living vicariously.”

Her books have gone on to bless millions of lives and sell millions of copies as well as being made into motion pictures. She found a way out that gave her fulfillment and joy as well as appealing to her true heart.

Another individual who overcame different types of handicaps is Dr. Ben Carson, the world famous neurosurgeon. He had to overcome abject poverty and racism to gain his positions of prominence. Brought up by a divorced, single mother who worked three jobs cleaning houses to provide for her two sons he was taught discipline. He and his brother were not allowed to watch more than a few hours of TV per week and were required to read two books each week and to write a book report for their Mom. They didn’t realize at the time that she, herself, could not read. She has since gone on obtain a college degree.

In his book THINK BIG, Dr. Carson says, “Some people complain about injustice in our society. They cannot be successful because everything is stacked up against them. Frequently I have heard individuals say that they have to be twice as good as anyone else to get equal breaks. Because of their ethnicity, language, or socio-economic background, they feel if they do not do things twice as well as the majority of the population, they will not receive equal opportunities.”

He continues, “Whether this is true or not is not the real issue. I believe that God expects us to do our best at everything we undertake. If we always do our best and trust in the Lord’s guidance, we automatically conduct our affairs better than most other individuals who do not have the same mindset. We do not have to compare our achievements with others. We need only to ask ourselves one question: Have I given my best?”

Dr. Carson is another individual with a true heart who went on to succeed, save lives and was awarded the Medal of Freedom from President George W. Bush in 2008. He is now running for President of the United States.

The third individual I would like to talk about today is J.K. Rowling, the well-known author of the HARRY POTTER series of seven books. She is famous throughout the world, has created characters and images known throughout the world and is incidentally rumored to be wealthier than the Queen of England.

She overcame abject poverty as a young single mother and states she was so poor she was just a step away from homelessness. She felt like a complete failure in her life. She also states, “So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that really mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged.”

Her history speaks for itself. Her life has radically changed after she was able to unleash her true heart.

Each roadblock in life comes with its own set of excuses. They are there for us if we wish to use them but remember, tick, tock…

144 thoughts on “TRUE HEARTS AND DAMAGED LIVES

  1. Hello Sue, once again you have given us some things to think about! If people who think they know me really knew me they would never believe what kind of life I had to overcome. I lost my father at 17 years old. I was devastated. He had a massive heart attack at 39 years old. He and my mother had divorced when I was 11. My mother had remarried to the step-father from hell. I had ran away a lot so at the time of his death I was living with my grandparents on my mother’s side. I got a phone call from my mother telling me my father had passed. I couldn’t stop crying or throwing up for the next 2 days. You see, my grandmother, my father’s mother, had had his funeral and buried my dad a week before she told my sister or me. I hated her so much for not letting us attend his funeral to have closure. After a few years down the road and a few children, I decided to forgive my grandmother for what she had done. I had not spoken to her in all that time. I called her and shared with her how I had felt but that I forgave her. Her response, I don’t care if you do or not. I let it go and went on with my hard life. A few years later she died. My uncle, my dad’s brother, was married to the sweetest woman anyone would want to know. Aunt Elda let me know about grandmother’s death. Now my dad had a sister who had died after he did with complications from gall bladder surgery. She had 3 children. All grown also. Soon after all this I got a letter from my grandmother’s attorney with a copy of her will. She had left my dad’s sister’s children 1/3 of her estate to be divided between the 3 of them. The other 2/3 of her estate went to her only living son. At this point I was starting to feel the hurt. She did leave my sister and me $500 each so we couldn’t contest the Will. I took my money and bought me a new dryer for my clothes and let it go. My sister however has never forgiven her for anything. I feel sorry for her. She is only hurting herself. I told you all that to say, I learned a lesson from that situation and have been able to forgive and let go of a lot of horrible things in my life and there have been many. When I found out I had cancer, I can honestly say I have never asked God why me? Why not me? I have met so many awesome people who have become great friends in my life. I am grateful for what God has tought me all these years and especially the last 14 years. I just want to say I try to always look at the good in every situation and not dwell on the bad. I am a giver an overcomer and I am so glad God made me that way. Now I have survived cancer for 14 years! No matter how I hurt or feel, I try and push through it. I don’t make it everyday, but I try. I don’t want to be known as someone who lies around in self pity. One of my friends told me the other day, and she is a cancer survivor too, that when she starts to feel sorry for herself, she looks at me. I felt honored that I can help her that way. That is what I want people to see about me. Yes I hurt, I feel bad, sometimes I have a hard time breathing, but His grace is sufficient for me! Thanks be to the God I serve and love! I love you Sue, and I love all of you on this blog! You guys have been so good for me since my best friend Tracy died. You brought me out of a 6 month time of depression. I appreciate all of you for that. You just don’t know what I was going through. Remember over 2 years ago I asked for prayers for my oldest daughter,Kim, who was addicted to pain pills and alcohol and almost died, I am proud and grateful that next month, she will be clean for 2 years!! Her marriage has been healed and her relationship with her children and family has been restored! She is going to be grandma in July! Praise God for all your prayers.
    LOVE YOU all, Donna
    PS: I wanted to tell you that my sweet Aunt Elda, sent me a few of my grandmother’s things after my uncle died. She also sent me the flag from my dad’s casket. She put flowers on his grave for holidays for my sister and myself and she sent us pictures where he was buried. We never got to go as they all lived in Wisconsin. Aunt Elda wrote to me and sent me money for my birthdays and called me several times a year. I really loved her. She passed away last year. I miss our talks. Ok, I am done for tonight. I guess I just needed to get some things off my chest. What I have left anyway, ha ha! Can’t be serious all the time, Donna

    • Donna, do you feel better now having got that off your chest? It’s been a rough road dear lady. The important part is how you finish the race though, isn’t it? Just makes me think more of you knowing how difficult a path you have followed. I think it all boils down to learning and courage. At some point you saw hope in your future.
      I’m so pleased to hear your daughter is doing so well. That’s wonderful. I’m certain your faith in her and the Lord gave her strength but as we all know, true recovery has to come from the individual and their own faith and determination.
      Well, my dear, you’ve given us all a great deal to think about and reminded me of so many parts of my own life I have never shared and should one day. We all have secrets which have contributed to who we are. It is a shame that so often those painful secrets involve truly evil people without true hearts. Love you, Sue

  2. Yes sue
    Time to sit back and take stock and think.its very hard when you meet others and mix with them,when they’ve got nothing wrong..but how do you know . Maybe that’s how they appear to us and what they want us to see
    Trying to put more into life ,but it’s wearing ain’t it? But no choice there as you so rightly put it
    Donna
    Wow….I wanted to put it right for you..what times ….
    I can’t add to that its taken away any words
    Bless you
    Chris

    • Chris, indeed, you can’t tell what someone has gone through until you really get to know them. Even then, many have things they never share. Some pain runs so deeply into the soul it always stays. There may be healing but there are always scars. Interestingly enough, some scarred areas are actually stronger than they were previously.
      Indeed we often have no choice and we gain strength just from showing up for life. Some days, that’s enough. Other days, we feel like we have gained a rare insight. Those are the blessed days but they don’t happen all the time. It’s kind of like a scale that is sometimes balanced but usually not. Life, huh? Hang in there dear and wait for those blessed days of beach, old churches, beautiful china in tearooms and good company. Love, Sue

  3. Hello……gosh I am so behind with everybody….terrific blog once again Sue, only just got round to reading it, I am familiar with the background of J K Rowling, saw a documentary about her some time ago, it was very moving.
    Donna…I know where you are coming from with all the feelings your sister cannot let go of, there is similar going on in my family also, I try not to think about it, its a big split in the family, had to hold out many an olive branch to keep my family together, swallowed a lot of crap…but there is one of them that will not extend the hand of family kinship, makes me sad, but done all I can……..got to let it go now….I think ou are a true example of a courageous lady, if you don’t mind me saying so……like Sue, you don’t lay around feeling sorry for yourself…….

    Chris……..yes I agree, ou can stand next to someone and never know how much they are suffering, doing it most days now, especially in front of my Mom, she says “Oh you look well today…not much wrong with you is there?” she doesn’t mean to be flippant, but I think to myself….if you only knew, got to keep things under wraps because I don’t want to upset her…….bitten my lips so many times the are sore.

    Achilles tendon on both ankles are in deep doo doo, tablets not worked at all, reducing the steroids now, but the pain is dreadful, can’t walk first thing when I get out of bed…….wish there was another solution, any idea’s would be gratefully recieved.
    Weather here terrible, like yours Chris…….I suppose that won’t help with the A/T will it? I have missed you all so much, this last few days, will try and keep up if I can……………God bless to everyone, always keeping you in my prayers….much love Jennie xxx

    • Jennie, I am so sorry to hear you have so much pain in the achilles. That seems unusual it to have it in both. I wish it was plantar faciitis, because it cures more easily. Why not go onto WEBMD online and look it up. They have a lot to say about the achilles tendonitis. There are wraps and splints, etc. Just be sure one of them is not torn. I will have to run but will get back to you later, after PT. Just tell dear old Mom when you have a problem. After all, mothers do care, right? Love you, Sue

      • HI SUE…….NOT SURE WHAT IT IS, COULD WELL BE WHAT YOU SAID, TILL ITS LOOKED AT BY A SPECIALIST, I WOULD HAVE IT IN MIND TO TREAT AS PLANTAR FACIITIS….SYMPTOMS ADD UP……FEELING CALMER TODAY, THINGS ARE SETTLING DOWN. I SHOULDN’T WORRY ABOUT WHERE YOUR’E MIND IS, STILL LOOKING FOR MINE, IF YOU HAPPEN ACROSS IT, YOU CAN KEEP IT…HA HA!! SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE DOING REALLY WELL WITH YOUR PT, I COULDN’T BE HAPPIER FOR YOU…..LOVE YOU LOTS………….JEN X

  4. Sue, how inspiring – and how true. We each have our own “stuff” and more times than not, the people around us have no clue. It is just like the physical aspect we’ve talked about often – “but you don’t look sick”. Well researched, well written, and all while living your own challenges. 🙂 Thank you.

    Donna, I am so sorry for what you’ve been through. What grace you have chosen to live. But it’s not always easy, is it?

    Jennie, hang in there. I don’t blame you one bit trying not to let on so as not to hurt your mom. I try to do that often, however, I can’t usually pull it over on my mom. She notices every little thing. And she does feel bad for me, which makes me feel bad. Enjoy your time with your mum. 🙂

    • LYN…THANK YOU….I THINK SHE NOTICES, BUT WAITS FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT IT….I DON’T WANT TO, SHE HAS HAD ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH WHAT WITH THE FIRE AND ALL…..WITH ALL THE EXTRA WORK AND KEEPING HER AMUSED, I MANAGE TO SHOVE IT TO ONE SIDE…SO NOT ALL BAD….YOU OK LOVE? …..JENNIE X

    • Lyn, Glad you appreciated this new blog. How true for all of us humans that we have no idea what they are going through or what they have been through. Sometimes we have to move on and let go. We have enough garbage to deal with right now, most of us.
      Well, there’s nothing wrong with me…just went to PT and found out my appt. was for yesterday. How humiliating. I said, “Well, think I’m losing it. Let me know if you find my mind.” The gal replied, “I could use it.” Still embarrassing. Back tomorrow and to the doc, rheumy in Portland on Thursday.
      Hope you’re feeling better today than in the last few. What an up and down life we all lead, huh? rrileast spring will eventually arrive in the East, won’t it? We’re wet but blossoming. Later dear, Sue

  5. SUe:
    WOnderful blog. All that is so true and I see ti happening all around me. No more that with Ms ALice. Bless her, she is doing better but a far cry from the woman who left me in Jan. She turned 93 while away. She was talking to me of how she felt as she was declining. Knowing she could never dance again, etc. I told her “sure you can, just move in the chair”. But life is a fleeting moment in which we make bad decisions and wonderful ones. I do things that push my body to it’s limits and beyond and pay for them. And I will continue to do so because it is me fighting this unwanted possession of my body. We all have to fight to the surface and breath in that good air as long as we can. Or we sit and rust. I love you all.
    Tonie

    • TONIE….SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT “MISS ALICE” DID SHE MOVE IN THE CHAIR LIKE YOU ASKED? I THINK WE ARE ALL GUILTY OF PUSHING OUR BODIES BEYOND WHAT WE SHOULD DO…..BUT HEY! WE ARE HUMAN, WE CAN’T GET EVERYTHING RIGHT CAN WE? I THINK ITS IN MOST OF US TO KEEP FIGHTING….OOPS I CAN FEEL MYSELF RUSTING, BETTER GET MY BUTT UP AND DO SUMMAT….LOVE JENNIE XX

    • Tonie, good to hear from you in the midst of all you are doing to get ready for your new home to get delivered. Did you get your flowers relocated? Know you must have such a full mind.
      What do you think was so hard on Ms. Alice on the trip to AZ? Do you think she had a mini stroke or something? Was it just changing homes again? Poor dear but like you, I realize she has had a full life and is fortunate to be as old as she is…intact.
      I spent yesterday trying to call people that haven’t shown up to do what they were supposed to, etc. Then I screwed up my PT day…so much going on. I’ve been feeling very much like Ms. Alice lately. Can’t juggle as much when I have pain and IBS, not like I used to. Thinking of you as you work away and know you’re doing what must be done. Love, Sue

      • Sue:
        Yes, I got my flowers done and all the stones I had around the beds removed. Thus is my back in really bad shape again 😦 I must get an injection soon to heal it I am afraid. I go to the new pain Dr next Wed, so we will see. No, they took Ms Alice to the ER on Sat, cause she was passing out. Fran insisted they do a CAT scan to be sure there were no strokes. And it was clear. So we are thinking it is her heart and low BP causing it. She was very weak yesterday. SHe passed out again on Fran on Tues, so we are using her wheel chair instead of walker to prevent this from happening to me.
        Prayers for you dear one. I got my cabinets yesterday after work. So one more thing done, started taking down the underpinning. Have to finish that up tomorrow. Take it away, then get real serious about everything else. Take care
        Love
        Tonie

  6. Jennie, That sounds like a wise decision. When I had plantar fasciitis, the foot doctor wrapped it with wide two inch tape, all around the mid section of the foot, holding the arch. You can go online and for very little money, buy all sorts of wraps, etc or foot support that go in the shoe. I bought a wide elastic band, kind of like ace wrap to go around the mid part of the foot. I also bought lift supports for the heel. If that’s what it is, they will help. He also advised me not to go barefoot and I do that all the time. I hope it does start to get better soon. Prop it up when you can, okay?
    You and you alone know what works between you and your Mom. I think she can handle whatever you share with her but that’s your decision. That kind of communication might open up a new line of dialogue for the two of you however, you know what your history has been..you alone. Hope you have had a chance with all the running to and fro to get over that hideous trip you all had.
    Yes, PT is helping but to be honest, they only have so much to work with, with me. Must close for now and hope you get this before you go to bed. Love, Sue

    • SUE …DON’T SELL YOURSELF SHORT….YOU MAY NOT HAVE AS MUCH TO WORK WITH AS SOME, BUT I BET YOU HAVE A HELL OF A LOT MORE DETERMINATION THAN SOME…….AND THAT’S WHAT GETS YOU THERE ISN’T IT?
      MY MOM HAS NEVER KNOWN SERIOUS PAIN, JUST TRAUMA, SO SHE DOESN’T GET IT, I WAS BENT DOUBLE TODAY FROM ALL THE WORK I NEEDED TO DO, AND STILL SHE DEMANDS THIS AND THAT ALL DAY LONG, BUT I DON’T BEGRUDGE HER A THING…..WHY WOULD I, I’M NOT MADE THAT WAY.
      FEET A BIT BETTER TODAY, BUT YES I HAVE A FONDNESS TO WALK BAREFOOT, BUT TO MY COST NOW, SO HAVE TO REMEMBER TO HAVE HOUSE SHOES AT HAND……..YES TE TRIP IS LONG GONE FROM MY MIND, THE NEXT WILL BE MUCH EASIER, HALF THE TIME AND HALF THE JOURNEY.
      SORRY ABOUT THE SPELLING, NEED TO REST NOW….TAKE CARE MY DEAR FRIEND….I LOVE YOU..JEN X

  7. A quick note asking for prayer. I was coming home from the pharmacy yesterday and was adjusting my gel pad I sit on to drive. I turned to put my seatbelt on and my left side back went into a full blown spasm. If I even took a deep breath, it hurt. I honestly didn’t know if I could even drive home. I made up my mind I was going to try. I took a pain pill and headed home crying and praying all the way. Well, I made it home and then I thought how am I going to get out. I turned to slide my feet out and stand up straight and no pain! I came in the house and my husband got my bags and brought them in and took them upstairs for me. At least I wasn’t in pain anymore. It did spasm one more time when I went to bed but only lasted for a few minutes. I took my night meds and slept most of the night. No spasms today but muscle is quite sore..Please keep me in your prayers. I see my doctor on Friday. LOVE YOU all, Donna

    • Donna, So sorry this happened to you. Sounds like a pinched nerve, maybe? If it was a fx or a muscle I would think it would have kept hurting. Thoughtful prayers for you to find the answer and comfort during this time. Love, Sue

    • DONNA….PRAYERS BEING SAID DARLING….WHAT ON EARTH WENT WRONG? HOPE YOUR DOCTOR CAN THROW SOME LIGHT ON IT………..BE SURE TO REST UP NOW, AND AVOID THE SPASMS…HOW AWFUL FOR YOU…THINKING OF YOU………..LOVE JENNIE XX

  8. Hi
    Haven’t been on as had some bad news of my dad.that growth had escaped into the lymph vessels
    They don’t know if it is to the nodes
    .my dad doesn’t know yet.the hospital apt is in June
    I saw his GP yesterday.they will do one op again as it will grow further down the skin and be bleeding again.but that’s all.they said less than a year left..they won’t do any more..the Dr said he just sits in a chair..those words bothered me..as he doesn’t he was having coffee in lounge last two nights and goes to town.so tomorrow I’ve booked a call with the Dr.to have one last try..I know it’ll be chemo…but I’m thinking what would my dad want if he knew and he would want to fight it.so I have to try….he said he would need a hospice etc…he will be so frightened.i told Dr not to tell him…he said he will tell specialist but if he asks they are bound to tell …….oh it’s all horrible ….not thinking straight ..well I am I just yuck
    I’m angry he’s had a lot these last 10years..my mum fell downstairs and we had to switch off support…
    Then he had to gave gall bladder out….then he had kidney stones…then arteritis ..then Parkinson’s..then pneumonia. ,then sepsis..where they wanted to let him go….then diver with haemorrhage …so he would want to fight this ….but I’m now lacking any faith at all..been going down over the years. All has happened .but that’s how it is….I’m so angry..all this happening on HIS watch!
    I know I’m going on but I’ve always put what I’ve felt and here it is…sorry to all if I’ve upset anyone
    I don’t know anyway out of his I feel
    Chris

    • Chris:
      I am praying for you and your dear dad. What you are feeling is quite natural. They call it the phases of accepting the death of someone or yourself. Anger is the first one. We all have so much to go thru. My dear mother had such a bad life, yet it was a dear one in which she did many things. You can’t look at just the bad things that have happened. Look at all he has done in those years. He will fight as long as he can, but you must also think of whether he can undergo this chemo, it is very rough on the young, let alone someone his age. Love you and pray you make the right decision.
      Tonie

    • Chris dear friend, Of course you are grieving. He’s your dear Dad and this is horrendous news. You must feel every bit of this, be emotional and cry but please don’t be bitter. Angry, of course. He has been through a lot in the last few years but he made it. This looks like it will be the thing that will cause him to end his life.
      Forgive me, but I can’t remember if you have any sibling to help here in this situation? It’s a lot for you to shoulder and hard on your DH as well. Yes, of course he will be frightened but please consider that it is his life. He has always been so independent and done things his own way and still does. Don’t you think there may be something he might want to do or say in light of this new information? Do you really think you will be able to keep all of this from him even if you decide to? It has been found in the last few years that is makes for a more peaceful crossing if the patient is part of the decision making. Please consider that.
      Right now you have a great deal to absorb. Just please, have no regrets. Show and tell him how much you love him and prepare yourself; then you’ll be able to deal with him and help him deal with the close of his life.
      If I was there we would sit over a cup of tea and talk for hours. I would want you to pour out your heart and feel what you must. Please feel free to do that here or on email. I am always here for you. Much love, hugs and understanding, Sue. P.S. Off to Portland for the day in a couple of hours. My thoughts will be with you.

      • Sue
        Nope I’m an only!
        I really don’t know what to do..I’m contacting social services for funding for a care home for him.talking to Dr again tomorrow about any treatment and will he help me get funding
        But he talked about palliative care and a hospice so those are free
        I saw my dad today and had tea in town..we talked about the funding for a care home for the future..it would not be right now as he might need hosp.care and he would be paying for a room he’s not using and it is about £700 a week with nursing and up to £850 a week ,but of course he doesn’t know this…. He didn’t look well today.amd I think he has something wrong with his shoulder from his op.that he’s not telling me?.he says he feels good!,?!
        I just can’t look at my dad and see his face if he knows …….I will certainly ensure I have no regrets
        Sue
        I would love it to have you here right now…I will certainly email you when I get stuck with it all again
        I hope you are ok and not in too much pain after your trip and so so generous of you to think of me when you have so many troubles of your own…it certainly makes me feel special
        Chrisx

    • CHRIS LOVE…….OH I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU….IF YOU THINK YOUR DAD IS UP TO FIGHTING THIS LATEST AND MOST UNFORTUNATE ILLNESS, THEN “GO FOR IT” YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN IN HIS CORNER, BUT YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN JUDGE IF HE HAS THE STRENGTH………….MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU LOVE, TALK IT OVER WITH HIM AND YOUR FAMILY, THEN HOPEFULLY YOU WILL HELP HIM MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION……WHERE THERE IS LIFE, THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE………..AND FOR THE RECORD, YOU ARE NOT “GOING ON” ISN’T THAT WHAT WE ARE ALL HERE FOR, TO LISTEN TO EACH OTHER’S TROUBLES? LOVE YOU MY FRIEND…COURAGE…..JEN X

      • Jen
        I don’t think he can fight it at the moment he looked all sloped today sitting in his buggy.i think he was hiding his neck where the op was with his jacket it was all odd.i think it is growing again
        The Dr says they will take it out again as it will start bleeding again soon….what must my dad be thinking of it all?Pehaps he is guessing about it..i can’t talk about it with him as he doesn’t know out yet
        Oh dear….
        Anyway hope all going along ok with you.hows yourself with your new shoes?
        Good your mum is settling..
        It’s my DDs birthday the day my dad goes to find out about how the op went at hosp…and it’s his birthday a few days after..then it’s Father’s Day a few after that
        He enjoyed choosing a cake in m&s today for her birthday….she is coming over earlier ,at the w.end. as she will be in Kos then on the actual day
        Gonna go now..I just seem to be thinking
        Chrisx

  9. Sue and Jennie, thanks for your prayers. I did ok yesterday. The muscle is sore. I thought it was going to happen again after supper but it never did. The best way to describe the pain, it feels like a leg cramp in the calf of the leg in the back muscle on left side. Same area where I have been getting the injections. This same thing happened to me several years ago. I was getting out of the shower and bent over to get my towel and couldn’t stand up. I had to get dressed in tears as my husband was out of town and my mother in law wasn’t able to help me. I called my friend to come take me to the Emergency Room and by the time she got here I was in so much pain I couldn’t even get in her car. She had to call an ambulance. I got to the hospital and they took an x-Ray to see if I had broken anything and of course I had not. I got a shot for pain and a muscle relaxer and had to hang around for a while but the first shot was wearing off and I had to get another one before going home. When I got home I never had anymore pain. So I knew on Tuesday, it would be a waste of time to go to the hospital. I had strong pain pills and muscle relaxers at home. After the first time I got an MRI and found out about the spinal stenosis, degenerative disc disease, 2 herniated discs and several other problems. That is when I started getting the epideral pain blocks with steroid injections. I got them twice a year for several years until the last one. I have gone two years without one. I started having the back and hip pains again in March of this year. I have had two trigger point injections so far. They help but don’t last long. I am curious what the doctor will want to do tomorrow. Please pray for the doctor to have wisdom. Thanks again for all your prayers. Jennie, I am praying for the situation with your mom. I know it is hard but I believe she loves you. She probably knows more than you think. I know my mom always did. She seems to enjoy putting the puzzles together. She looks really good considering her age and what she has just gone through. How long is she staying? Love you girl! Praying for your feet problems too! Hope they are feeling better today.
    Sue, I am also keeping you in my prayers. I am glad you are doing good with the PT. I guess you are taking a trip to Portland today. I pray for a safe trip there and back. I hope you will not be in a lot of pain. I hope you get good news from your rheumatologist today. Are you feeling better now that you have stopped the pill? I sure hope so. LOVE YOU MUCH! Donna

    • DONNA….THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS….THEY ARE RETURNED TO YOU THREEFOLD….MY MOM GOES TO THE UK FROM HERE ON THE 16TH JUNE, SO A WAY TO GO YET, BUT WE ARE ALL SETTLING DOWN NOW, ALL WILL BE WELL, AND I WILL MISS HER WHEN SHE GOES…..THNG MOVING WITH HER APARTMENT THOUGH, WORK STARTED AT LAST, SO BY THE TIME SHE HAS VISITED ALL US THREE KIDS, AND FLOWN BACK TO HOLLAND, SHE WILL BE NEARLY THERE…….I AM PRAYING FOR LESS PAIN FOR YOU TODAY…MUCH LOVE….JENNIE XX

  10. Chris, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I would second Sue’s reply as my thoughts pretty much echo what she said. 🙂 Know that we are all here for you, wishing we could be there with you.

  11. Chris, I don’t really know what to say except I am sorry about your dad. You and he will be in my prayers everyday! I am going to pray for God to give you and the doctors wisdom. My feelings are your dad probably knows what is going on with him. He can feel it and most likely see it in your face. Parents know more than we give them credit for. I think he has a right to know what is happening with his body. If he was in a coma or couldn’t communicate with you in any way, then he wouldn’t know or need to be told. He’s not stupid, he knows something is wrong. He needs to be in on the decision making. After all it is his life. I would want to know, wouldn’t you? He’s been through a lot and I know you want to protect him but our parents can handle more than we give them credit for. As far as the chemo, I really wanted to talk to you about that. I have been through chemotherapy for my breast cancer and I will not lie to you, it was one of the hardest things I ever had to go through. I was 49 years old and fairly healthy at the time I started my treatments. It almost killed me. It is poison running through your veins killing good cells along with the cancer cells. I couldn’t eat eat, I couldn’t drink, I couldn’t keep anything down. I would have to go to the hospital and get iv fluids several times during my treatments. I would get so dehydrated. I wanted you to know how hard this is. It is extremely difficult to go through. I had 8 treatments, 1 every 3 weeks, then 33 radiation treatments.. I was so burned my skin will never be the same. I am not telling you all this to scare you but to let you know I love you and with all the health problems your dad is already dealing with, I honestly don’t think he will be able to tolerate chemotherapy. Most of the problems I have now is because of the chemotherapy. Please don’t get made at me for being completely honest with you, but if it were my dad, I would never put him through this. Something to think about, I would rather have a good quality year with him than for him to be sick as a dog his last time here on earth. Think about what I have told you. I hope you get to read this before you see his doctor tomorrow. I will be praying. You may tell me to mind my own business or keep my opinions to myself and that is ok. I will understand but I have been through this. As far as I know, no one else on this blog has except for Sue and she was blessed to only have radiation treatments and her mastectomy which is bad enough. I love you Chris and wish I could be over there to help you through this. Hope we are still friends. LOVE, Donna

  12. Donna
    It was wonderful of you to put all this down for me…of course friends ,nothing but
    I understand all what you put down,I really just didn’t want to give up for him .he us already disappearing from me with the Parkinson’s and I want him back. Put time back
    The Dr said he will deteriorate quickly and need pallative treatment I find that difficult to know and for him to find out.i think he knows really and hiding it from me,you are right
    My poor old dad
    It was helpful to know this tonight,as you say before the Dr rings me.
    Why is life so cruel for anybody
    You have had it so hard too.and it is such a credit to you to share it with me.an honour for me to know
    Sunday with my DD here and having her birthday round his will be hard.my DD is made of strong stuff but it will be the praps the last one and last time before he knows it all….
    Thank you for your prayers ….I can’t pray for me anymore somehow. Life seems empty .life seems frightening. But knowing you are all praying for me makes me cry and that helps me too
    Chrisx

    • CHRIS LOVE…..NOT HAD A LOT OF TIME TODAY, BUT I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF YOU THE WHOLE TIME, I WISH I COULD CROSS THE CHANNEL AND BE THERE FOR YOU……….YOU KNOW WHERE I AM IF YOU NEED TO NATTER…….
      JUST GOT BACK FROM SHOPPING, REDUCING STEROIDS TO HALF A DAY, AND FEELING THE PAIN BACK AGAIN, JUST AS I KNEW IT WOULD.

      DONNA….I HOPE THE CRAMPS ARE GETTING EASIER, I GET THAT SOMETIMES IN THE CAR, IF I SUDDENLY TURN TO CHECK ON THE DOG, ITS A CRAMP LIKE A VICE….HORRID.

      SUE…..HOW ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU ENJOYING SOME WARMTH ON YOUR BONES? HOPE SO, ITS NOT THAT GREAT HERE…I DESPAIR, ALMOST INTO SUMMER, ONLY BEEN IN THE GARDEN ABOUT FIVE TIMES THUS FAR…..MY MOM WAS HOPING TO GO TO THE UK WITH A TAN………

      HOPE EVERYONE IS OK………….BEEN SAYING MY PRAYERS FOR EVERYONE…..HANG IN THERE CHRIS, …LOVE JENNIE XXX

  13. Chris:
    Still praying for you dear and your Dad. Knowing from experience how painful this is. I second Sue, I wish I could be there and listen for you. Email and let it all out. We love you. So much sadness and hurt watching our parents go thru this. Pray you find the situation that is right for your Dad and you. Take care sweetie.
    Love
    Tonie

    • Thank you tonie
      I think I’m getting more with it now for my part
      And what’s good is my dad knows I’m trying to help him
      Love
      Chris

  14. Well hi all
    I’m feeling brighter. Spent five hrs on the phone sorting out things for my dad
    At least I got more carers going in.so that’s good for now.one step at a time
    I think my view point is changing even tho it doesn’t want to!
    My thanks from my heart for all your prayers,that must be why I feel different about it all
    Be back
    Hope you ok after yesterday sue
    Jen speak soon
    When I had heel and back of leg trouble it took a couple of months to improve,so don’t give up on it.
    I bought some gel heel inserts.i wear all the time and rocked a tennis ball round my foot
    Chris

    • Chris………..thanks for the advice, nice of you to get back to me under the circumstances love.
      What do you mean your viewpoint is changing? Its good that you were able to get extra care for your dear Dad, that will at least give you some peace of mind, but I know you will worry anyway.
      Take it one day at a time Chris, and know we are here to support you as always.
      Much love matey
      Jennie xx

      • Well Jen
        I suppose I mean somehow settled In myself,or just comfortable with the day as it stands today
        As Sue put below it feels like a path beginning and I know my bit now …the bit I’m not good with is my dad finding out.but it’s enough for the day.
        If all that makes sense….my viewpoint ..well all I can say it feels settled.difficult to describe
        Love chrisx

    • Chris, I’m sure time will help in so many ways to show the way. A path of logical answers, compassionate and medically sound advice will open up as you need it. Just take it as it comes. It will depend on so many things like the doctors, tests, his feelings and decisions. I’m pleased he knows you’re on his side. We knew it but he had to see it that way, right? I pray the two of you draw closer to each other during this time. Have courage sweet girl.
      Long day for us yesterday due to long trip and paying for it today. No new news at the doctor. Resting up here at home.today. Sore all over so must do my exercises. Where will I get the strength? No clue. Grands over later after school. Know I’m thinking of you dear friend and your Dad. Love, Sue

      • Sue
        As my DD put it,we are lucky..wrong word I know….to have this time to say what we want and not miss an opportunity. At least we have till beginning of June before he finds out
        It’s such a long trip for you I hope you are beginning to feel better.car journeys are the pits …enjoy your Grands coming over.always a delight.
        It’s half term hols at schools here next week,is it with you?
        Such great comforting words from you and everyone
        As I’ve said before this is my ..Go to place
        Love chrisx

  15. Chris dear, I think your Dad knows. He is probably worried about what to say to you. I must agree with DD. I once had a friend who said she never wanted to die suddenly; she wanted to have a long, lingering death so she could make it all right with the world, her world, first. She was a delight. We once named a Saint Bernard after her. That was a great complement as she had a Saint. Her name was Paddy Duffy and she was a delightful lady who had trained as a midwife in Ireland and had to go to nursing school here in states to get rounded out and licensed. So, yes, I believe also that time is good.
    I think you are already beginning to feel peaceful with each passing day.
    Just take it a day at a time, pray for courage and strength sweet friend. Love ya, Sue

  16. Well my GS has just come back off a course and my DD told him.and it’s times like these you get closer.he text me…as they do…and said nan just remember I always always there for you.
    Don’t things shine out at times
    Chrisx

    • Chris, Life can be so blessed even in the darkest times. I think those are the times we feel comforted and frankly, feel good about the way a young person is brought up. Yes, shine out is true…a light in the darkness of stark reality. Love, Sue

  17. HELLO……

    CHRIS SWEETS, HOW IS EVERYTHING? BEEN PRAYING FOR YOUR DEAR DAD, EVEN ON THE WAY TO THE DENTIST THIS MORNING, I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU AND HE………….YOUR GS IS A TREASURE AND WILL BE A COMFORT TO YOU, HE IS A STRONG BOY, SO DON’T BE WORRYING. XXXX

    SUE….I KNOW HOW THESE TRIPS TAKE IT OUT OF YOU LOVE, I HOPE YOU HAVE GOT BACK YOUR STRENGTH BY NOW, AND CAN ENJOY A RESTFUL WEEKEND.

    HOPE EVERYONE ELSE IS OK, HOPING TO GET A LITTLE SUN THIS AFTERNOON, BEEN A FRANTIC FEW DAYS, GOT TO WIND DOWN A BIT NOW OR I WON’T BE GOOD FOR NOTHING……………PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS FOR YOU ALL…GOD BLESS
    JENNIE XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  18. Hi all
    Well Jen
    It’s a bit of respite till his appt at hospital
    Dd and Gs coming over Monday to give her pressies for her birthday and bit of a party ..well a cake with one candle!..
    So Gs with dad ..I think all will be ok that day

    Yea you rest this w.end else what will you be like!
    Also remember you want to be good for taking your mum to the airport….AND for you and DH after when on your own
    Nice day here hope so with you

    Hope All have a good w.end
    Sue better and Donna back ok
    Tonie..do send pic of your new home I’m looking forward to seeing it .it will be so good settling in
    BUT as we all are saying take care!
    Lyn
    How’s that throat now?
    Annie
    How’s you mum and you?you are going thru a time of it too
    Also Suzanne ..hope you are keeping ok
    Chris

    • HI CHRIS………..THANK YOU, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY I RESTED, MANAGED AN HOUR WHILST THE SUN WAS OUT…..BUT UP EARLY FOR THE DENTIST, THEN HOUSE CLEANING DAY LAUNDRY TO DO, BEDS TO CHANGE, ETC, ETC…….ANYWAY MAYBE TOMORROW………
      I HOPE THE WEEKEND GOES AS WELL AS IT CAN, AND THE RESPITE WILL MEAN YOU CAN ALL BE TOGETHER, ESPECIALLY MONDAY.
      FUNNY OLD DAY HERE CHRIS, HALF BAKING HOT THEN BLOOMING RAIN AGAIN.
      KEEP STRONG SWEETHEART, SO MANY OF US ARE THINKING OF YOU.
      XXXXJENNIEXXX

      • Jennie,
        Hope the weather allowed you out in the garden and you are having a good and as restful a visit as possible with your Mom. How’s DH doing? Loved the pic on FB of you with your mother. You both are so pretty. I’ve had a recovery period going this weekend with a terrible headache after trip last Thursday to Portland. Think I have some sort of yucky bug working at me. That’s why I’ve been absent so much on here over weekend. Mostly taking rest periods. Hope your heels and feet are feeling better. Did you try wrapping them in tape? Love and thoughts, Sue

    • Chris:
      Will do once I get it set 🙂 Getting the building permit on Wed, so hoping it can be done this weekend. Lot of work still !
      Love you
      Tonie

  19. Hello Peeps !
    Well, another busy week down. As am I ! I have really aggravated my bad back, and it is letting me know. The nerve is making my rt leg really hurt. SO no more lifting for a while for me (or bending). But getting down to “brass tacks” now. Wed we are going to get all out and Turn off electric and water. I will room with sis for that time and no more internet 😦 until I move back in.
    Had to get the farrier back out for Red’s feet, cracking really bad. He couldn’t believe how much they had grown in 2 months. Said I must be doing something good for him. He is so beautiful ! His coat is red with gold flecks. No wonder they named him “Caballo de Fiero” (horse of fire).Can’t ride either until my back gets better. Baby is doing great as are my chickies. The boys will not be happy with me as they have to spend time in their pen with the move. But I put cedar shavings all over and cleaned up their cage. I gotta get a doghouse for it one day. So much work and so little time ! It is already June looking at us !
    Prayers for you all, hurting from pain or in spirit. Most of us both. God bless all our families this weekend remembering those veterans who have gone on.
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, hope you were able to rest your back and got some good time on the heating pad over the weekend. Well, indeed it is getting exciting now with your new home getting so close to delivery date. I hope you can find some help for any of the back breaking jobs. There is much ahead of you I know and I think it would be great if you feel well enough to enjoy it without killing yourself. Thinking of you much…Love, Sue

      • Ms Sue:
        I did rest my back as much as possible. GOt some packing in the kitchen done, now how am I gonna move the box ? 🙂 Have to make a path for the stove to be moved out. I am praying for help, still need someone to help me with the porch, anteanna and hot tub moving. I moved the deck with the Jeep and will do again. But still….I know it will happen, the Lord is good. The kids will be here around the 7th of June, so they can help me a lot with moving and unpacking of things. I have to get the new cabinets in, Gonna tile the counter tops so easy fix. Do take care you and get your rest, prayers for strength as well., Was all okay with Dr visit ? Well gotta run, going to work today cause off Wed for the pain clinic.
        Love you
        Tonie

    • TONIE….OH MY GOODNESS ITS ALL HAPPENING WITH YOU ISN’T IT? PLEASE BE CAREFUL IN ALL YOU DO WITH THE MOVE, REMEMBER ALL THE HEALTH PROBLEMS WITH THE LAST MOVE?? ITS GOOD YOU WILL BE HAVING SOME HELP, AND ALSO I LIKE WHAT THE VET SAID, SHOWS WHAT A GOOD JOB YOU HAVE BEEN DOING WITH THE HORSES…………WHEN IS THE ACTUAL MOVING DAY, OR IS IT A QUESTION OF DOING IT BIT BY BIT? YOU WILL NEED SOME FINE WEATHER NOT JUST FOR YOU, BUT MOVING THE CRITTERS TOO, WILL PRAY FOR THAT FOR YOU………………TAKE CARE IN ALL YOU DO…LOVE JENNIE XX

  20. Chris, thoughts and prayers for you and your family right now. You haven’t been out of my thoughts this weekend. I’ve had a down one with a bad throat and a fierce headache. I’m sure it will pass soon. Trip was hard last week so haven’t accomplished much over the weekend but survived. That must count for something, right? Let us know how it’s going after the family visits tomorrow. Love, Sue

    • CHRIS….THINKING ON THE SAME LINES AS SUE……COURAGE DEAR FRIEND, AND YES LET US KNOW HOW THINGS ARE AFTER THE BANK HOLIDAY, IF YOU CAN, IF NOT DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, YOU WILL BE FULLY OCCUPIED BY THE SOUND OF IT…………..LOTS OF PRAYER FOR YOU AND THE FAMILY….LOVE JEN X

  21. SUE….NO NOT TRIED THE TAPE YET, BEEN REDUCING THE STEROIDS, WILL BE FINISHED ON THURSDAY, SO MAY HAVE TO GIVE IT A GO THEN…………..
    WE HAD A LOT OF SUN OVER THE WEEKEND, WHICH WAS GREAT IT MEANT WE COULD GET SOME VITD3 IN US ALL, BUT OF COURSE IT NEVER BLOOMING LASTS, WOKE UP TO RAIN AGAIN TODAY, NEVER MIND, JUST HOPING I CAN GET MOM TO THE COAST BEFORE SHE LEAVES NEXT MONTH.
    I HOPE YOU ARE RID OF YOUR HEADACHE BY NOW SUE…………..I HATE ANY PAIN CONNECTED TO THE HEAD DON’T YOU?
    THE KIDS HAVE EXCHANGED CONTRACTS ON THEIR “BIG HOUSE” ON FRIDAY, HAD TO MAKE A RUSHED MOVED TO TE “LITTLE HOUSE” THEY HAVE BEEN DOING UP, NOWHERE LIKE READY, BUT THEY HAD NO OPTIONS, ALL THEY HAVE AT THE MOMENT IS A BED AND A SOFA, ALL THE OTHER STUFF IS IN STORE, THE OVEN NOT CONNECTED YET, SO ITS TOAST AND SALADS FOR THE MOMENT, THEY WON’T STARVE……THEY WERE HOPING TO FINISH AND MARKET IT BEFORE THEIR TRIP TO CANADA ON THE 7TH JUNE, BUT IT WAS NOT TO BE…….I THINK THEY WILL BE READY FOR THIS BREAK, AND COME BACK REFRESHED AND READY TO COMPLETE THE WORK…….THEN ITS OFF TO CORNWALL IN THE BEAUTIFUL WEST COUNTRY, I ASKED WHAT ABOUT JOBS AND A PLACE TO LIVE?/ ANSWER, WE WILL WORRY ABOUT THAT LATER!! OH TO BE YOUNG AND HAVE THAT STAMINA…REMEMBER THAT SUE????
    TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND HOPEFULLY THE BUG WON’T BE HANGING AROUND FOR LONG…LOVE YOU,…..JEN X

    • Hi Jen, to be young and have that kind of attitude. I remember those days very well. Of course it wasn’t all that easy for me as I had 5 children by the time I was 30. I had 3 then my fourth pregnancy I ended up with twins so that put me at 5 really quickly. It was really hard to get someone to rent to you with 5 children but God always made a way. I am glad you are enjoying your mom. I pray for you to have more Sun and it will last for a while. You have really had your share of rain. I hope you are doing ok except for your poor feet. Praying for that to clear up soon. I saw the picture of you and mom on Facebook and you both look so good. Are you letting your hair grow long? Looks nice. You still have a while yet before your mom leaves. I pray that you will get to the coast with her.
      As for me, I went to the doctor Friday with my back. He said there is an underlying nerve inflamed causing the muscle to hurt like it does. He put another injection in it. It was numb for quite a while then the rest of the weekend it has been acting up. If I move a certain way I feel that catching pain. Thank God it is not lasting very long. He said he could inject it weekly if he needed to as he is not using cortisone so it is safe. We shall see. My sister in law has been visiting us since Saturday. She lives at the beach now so we don’t see her very much.Her son came up to spend some time with his dad so she decided to come with him and stay with us. She is my husband’s sister. I have enjoyed having her here. We have always been close so it was fun catching up. She is leaving this afternoon. As much as I enjoy company, I am glad when they leave so I can lay down if I need to. That is probably ugly to say, right. Oh well, when you hurt, you hurt and the last thing you want to do is entertain someone. Will keep you lifted up in prayer. LOVE YOU Jennie, tell your mom hello, Donna

      • HI DONNA…..YES I JUST ABOUT REMEMBER THAT KIND OF ENERGY…..BOY I COULD RUN ROUNDMY HOUSE IN JUST OVER AN HOUR, CLEAN RIGHT THROUGH, PUT THE LAUNDRY ON, HANG IT ON THE LINE…PREP DINNER FOR THREE, AND THEN GO AND OPEN UP THE SURGERY…..GET HOME FROM A LONG SHIFT, HAVE DINNER ON THE TABLE FOR THE FAMILY, THEN IRON THE LAUNDRY, AND STILL SIT UP AND WATCH TV TILL WHENEVER….THOSE WERE THE DAYS DONNA……THEN WE ALL GOT SICK……..
        WOW!! FIVE KIDS BY THE TIME YOU WERE THIRTY…WHEW!! THAT’S GOING SOME…
        YES LETTING MY HAIR GROW A BIT, NOT SURE IF ITS A BIT AGING OR NOT, ITS EASIER TO HANDLE, STICK IN A PONYTAIL WHEN IT GETS HOT., GLAD YOU LIKED THE PHOTO,
        I HOPE THE INJECTIONS HELP YOU BACK DONNA, WHAT IS IT HE IS GIVING YOU?
        I WAS DELIGHTED TO READ YOU HAD YOUR SISTER-IN-LAW STAYING WITH YOU AWHILE, BET YOU HAD SOME STORIES TO TELL ABOUT PAST TIMES HUH??
        JUST PASSED YOUR HELLO TO MOM, SHE SAID “RIGHT BACK AT YOU KID”….MUCH LOVE…JENNIE XX

      • Donna, good that you got to visit with your SIL and you enjoyed each other so much. Hope more shots won’t be necessary but if..here’s hoping they last a bit longer. Back pain is so awful. It really is crap for us, so many of us, isn’t it? I know what you mean about company. Even company we enjoy can last too long and it’s difficult to say, “Gee it’s great to see you, want to come up and visit with me in the bedroom while I take a lie down?” I have had to do that and those who care about us usually understand. Do take as good care of yourself as possible..Love, Sue

    • Jennie, yes, I have a vague recollection of something called stamina. Haven’t seen it in a long time. It has occurred to me reading your post that you, Chris and I have very similar weather except we don’t get as many of the extremes of cold and hot. I also hope you get to take your Mom over to the coast while she is there. I noticed your longer hair also and it looks nice. Sometimes just about any change feels good, huh?
      Good news about the kids selling the big house and getting ready for a trip to Canada to our continent. It’s good they are so directed and it is working out for them.
      I still have a headache today but it seems better. Didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. Jim bathed Jakie about 9 PM and was thinking it was too cold down in the bathroom where he sleeps so he brought him to bed with us all wrapped up and he kept me awake and restless. Poor old dear, Jake, that is groans a lot and we have no idea how much he sees and hears. The vet says he isn’t suffering but watching him, I am. At fourteen I know he must have some pain but he can still do the stairs just fine.
      Have PT again tomorrow and that usually makes me feel spent but somehow better. Do get some rest for yourself and if you do go to the coast, be sure to wear support in those shoes for your poor tendons. Love, Sue

      • Sue, I just wrote you a nice post and just like that, it disappeared. I don’t know what makes it do that. It is weird. I am not the only one it happens to so it has to be something with the blog. I just read your post to me then it disappeared as well as the one to Tonie and Jennie. In a couple of minutes it was back but not my post. Anyway, hope headache is gone, stomach feeling better and hope PT does not get you down tomorrow. I will write you again tomorrow. LOVE YOU Sue. Donna

  22. Sue
    Hope your headache and sore throat have gone and come to nowt.
    Tonie
    Sounds so busy.take care now……what old series on TV used to say that..the ol granma used to say at the end that…o was it the hillbillies ? I forget..used to like it
    Jen
    Well the kids have got that far…they’ve achieved a lot…what a sense of freedom to just do what you want!
    I do hope you get the trip to coast in
    It all went well at my dads.i laid a surprise party in the lounge outside so,when DD came out it was all set up,with her pressies all arranged just so…?I don’t think he is guessing what is up becos he was talking of something happening in five years time…
    But it all went well I took old photos over none has seen for ages and one of my mum ,when young ,Dh had done up and enlarged..GS had good news for us and my dad was pleased that when he finishes his apprentiship where he is he will be offered the job as assistant manager,then after wo years the manager of somewhere near…..so my dad was pleased to hear this .so it all went good.i got him in food to last a while.which the carer will come in and do at five every day..and stuff for lunches
    I have to ring the Parkinson’s nurse tomorrow..but all fitting in..we might go to the coast for a few days before dads appt.

    Well gonna rest a before I do owt
    Chris

    • HI CHRIS……..YES I AM VERY PROUD OF THE KIDS AND WHAT THEY HAVE ACHIEVED…..I CAN’T PHONE THEM NOW, THE LANDLINE IS NO MORE IT BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE, SO UNTIL CLAIRE GETS ONE PUT IN THE “LITTLE HOUSE” WE CAN ONLY TEXT…FEEL A BIT CUT OFF, BUT SURE IT WON’T BE LONG.
      OH THAT’S SUCH GOOD NEWS ABOUT EVERYTHING GOING OFF FINE, I WORRIED ABOUT THAT.
      IF DAD IS DOING A BIT OF FORWARD PLANNING, WHERE IS THE HARM? JUST RUN WITH IT, BEST WAY.
      OH I BET HE LOVED LOOKING AT ALL THE PHOTO’S AND TALKING OVER THE OLD DAYS, MY MOM IS DOING THAT 24/7……..
      OH WELL DONE TO YOUR GD….THINGS ARE GOING GOOD FOR HIM, WHICH WILL GIVE YOU SOME PEACE OF MIND, ALONG WITH THE EXTRA HELP FOR DAD…THINGS DON’T SEEM AS BLEAK AS LAST WEEK.
      WISH THE WEATHER HADN’T REVERTED TO TYPE CHRIS, HOW WE NEED THE SUN RIGHT NOW, NEVER KNOW WHAT TO PUT ON FROM ONE DAY TO THE NEXT, DO YOU? MAYBE WE WILL GET TO THE COAST, I THINK MAYBE WE MAY JUST SAY ONE DAY “SOD IT, LET’S GO”
      KEEP SMILING LOVE
      …..JEN ….

    • Chris dear, Sounds like your DD had a nice birthday celebration. How wonderful to hear your GS has a job future. You are, I know, very proud of him. It’s such a fine thing to see a young person with direction and a goal like that that he has earned. It also sounds like your Dad was amiable and chatty for him. Who know what he senses and knows. Must just live life one day at a time…well, I guess that’s what each of us must do anyway, right?
      You do sound better and as usual busy controlling and maintaining necessaries for his life. You are a wonderful daughter…yes, you are. It will be good to know he has dinner and lunches sorted out and will eat at home. Hope you do make it to the coast for a few days after all. Love, Sue

  23. Tonie, Good to hear of your progress. Pick up smaller boxes. You’ll make more trips but they’ll be light for you and the kids when they arrive. I also pray for you to get some muscular help as it is needed. I’m a bit confused about the cabinets and tile work. Are those for the new home? I know your mind must be a jumble of to do lists by now.
    They rheumy didn’t have that much to say except she is impressed I’m doing PT. She thought I looked better than I felt after the long trip. Not much for her to do except watch this train wreck and help me hang in there longer and feel better while I do it. Thanks for asking about the visit. Thinking of you, Sue

  24. Hey Tonie, I will be praying for your back sweetie. Having my own back problems. I have had 3 trigger point injections in the last 8 weeks. The doctor said on Friday that I have a underlying inflammed nerve causing the muscle to spasm. The first one he put cortisone and numbing medicine to really calm it down. The next two times he only used numbing medicine to get it to relax. He said he could do that once a week if I need him to. It wouldn’t be dangerous because there isn’t any cortisone in it.
    I know you are getting excited about the home getting here. Glad the kids will be here soon to help you. I will be praying for some more help for you. Saw where the animals are all doing good. That is wonderful. Watch out for spiders and Snakes while moving all the things that have been sitting for so long. Please be careful with your back. I want yo to be able to enjoy your new home once you get everything back together. LOVE YOU sweetie. Looking forward to seeing pictures. LOVE, Donna

    • Oh Donna (that was a song )
      Prayers for you back as well. Hey everytime I go near something that has the possibility of those critters, I pray “No snakes, Lord, and no spiders” 🙂

  25. Well here I am at coast!
    Came over tonite …but it’s ok now ,but our phone network went down for 6 hrs tonite and I thought I’d have to go back tomorrow .but it came on 30 mins ago.so all is well .i felt my dad couldn’t get In touch or the hosp,as they have this number.also the Parkinson’s nurse is ringing me tomorrow ,so all ok now
    Weather been so cold today but looks ok for tomorrow about 14c,but sunny.had showers and put washing on.amd here I am awake at Nearly 1am…..I’m buzzing beCos I’ve got a phone line!
    So I’m gonna read a book now and have a hot.choc
    Try and put all out of my mind..
    DH got some roof gutters to clear out….not high up a set of small steps will see to it
    Sue
    Hope your throat improved and came to nowt..hows all your plants doing.did you get the garden wall painted?
    Jen
    I hope the kids get a landline before they go away.how long is your hair now then?
    Well I’ve lost 7 lbs and I do feel as if I have.got some new leggings this morning …..but to come away with you really don’t know what to bring.you have to cater for two seasons
    Looking forward to tomorrow ,stupidly excited about it ! Just nothing going on but meeting people who walk by….chatter about what’s happened. Sounds daft really
    Well hope all had a good w.end
    I know it was your Memorial Day over the w.end..ours is in November here..but the celebrations forV E day were the other day….and for my dad the victory in Japan day will be important in August
    Ok over and out
    Chris

    • HI CHRIS…..GREAT YOU MADE IT TO THE CAST….WHOO WHOO….JUST LEAVES ME THEN NOW.
      I THINK A PHONE IS WAY DOWN THE LIST OF PRIORITIES FOR THE KIDS AT THE MOMENT, THEY HAVEN’T EVEN GOT A FLOOR………OH TO BE YOUNG AND HAVE A “WHAT THE HELL” ATTITUDE..
      WEATHER HERE VERY UP AND DOWN, HOPE ITS BETTER FOR YOU
      LATER
      JEN X

    • Chris, Hope you got some sleep last night. So pleased you got over to your resting place, even if you don’t always rest while there it is still your happy place. Hope your day went as you wanted it to and you got in some catch up visiting with neighbors and others. Sounds like you are handling things at home from there quite well.

      No we haven’t had the wall painted yet. We have our carpenter rebuilding a decorative little fence out there. Better to fix and paint it than to replace it. If we did that we’d have to get permission from the historic society. Then, since we can’t get a cement guy to come through for us, we’re having the sides and fronts of our cement front stairs tiled. Should look pretty but the wall will wait until I pick out the tiles. Should try to get out and do that this week. Also having a couple of chairs reupholstered. The gal is supposed to bring samples by today for one and for the other we have some beautiful raw silk that I’ve had for years. Jim’s aunt brought it back from the middle east and it’s been in my closet for ages. Guess this means I have spring fever, trying to get things fixed up a bit. Seems like we let things go quite a bit last year with all that was going on with my health and Jim’s.
      Hope DH’s blood pressure behaves because it sounds like this med is causing more side effects. Love to you, Sue

  26. Hi Chris, I hope you don’t think I have been ignoring you. I have been hurting so bad with my back and had my sister in law here from the beach since Saturday. She left today around 4PM. I enjoyed her time here but I was hurting so bad. I got another injection on Friday. I guess I need to lie around and see if that helps. The doctor said to ice it instead of heat. That is a tough one.
    Glad the BIRTHDAY party for your daughter went well and all had a good time including your dad. You seem to be so much more at peace now. I am glad. Hope you do get to go to the coast before his appointment.
    Such good news about your GS. That is awesome. Glad your Dad is proud of him. Looks like things are set up for him to get good meals. I know that makes you feel better. Just know that we are all thinking about you and your family and praying also. I think the best thing to do is take one day at the time. Really that is all any of us can do. You haven’t said too much about yourself lately. Hope you are not in too much pain with all you are dealing with. How is your DH doing? Fine I hope. This is a lot for him to deal with also. LOVE you sweet lady. Donna

  27. Donna
    I knew you were occupied this w.end.and you were in pain..I do hope that these injections help towards it all easing for you .
    Me..well the ususal.back elbows knees and now my shoulder.my breathing seems to be a problem sore from the sjogrens..well you know the list goes on
    Yep one day at a time is all anybody has .tomorrow is a benefit for all!
    DH is feeling under par with the bp tabs ?.weak achy and tired..it’s a job to keep him taking them!
    Ice that is a hard one ,uncomfortable .ive got a hot wheat bag on my shoulder right now which feels comfy.altho ice does help inflammation
    Well Donna I hope you are rested after your visitor
    I see there are floods over your side I hope they are not near you .or any others on the blog
    Nite all
    Chrisx

  28. Hi all
    Went for a lovely walk today past horses in fields and in this lane there was a hare that kept running up to us and then running away straight down this lane it went on for a time,back and fore…magic
    So here I am now watching the horses in the field by us and watching the sunset. And another day tomorrow
    My dad is sounding weak but niggly…i spoke to the Parkinson’s nurse and might be getting somewhere with funding as it is palliative care..awkward as I said I don’t want him to know anything ..but she is ringing me back tomorrow .amd it mite be in place by the time he wants it if I look into it now
    His extra care starts tomorrow 5and9 so I hope it goes ok
    Hope all not too bad
    Chris

  29. Hi Donna and all, Yes, occasionally I misplace an entry but usually they can be found by following the darkened arrow in the left upper corner of the blog. Sometimes I think our fingers just lightly touch something and there it goes. Also, on occasion that arrow will go down a bit too far on the page and mix us up a bit. Try some different techniques before you write a new one or sign off on here.
    Had a new physical therapist this morning. My usual one is on a vacation in Spain, lucky her. She had a friend getting married over there. The one I saw today is this amazing little gal who is bent with ankylosing spondilitis and is amazing. She had some new things to say about the scoliosis or bending of the spine which I now have as a result of two things. One is the fracture I had last summer, my second in a year, at the T12 level and secondly the drawing and pulling I have had to the left from the radiationi treatment after my mastectomy. More exercises and stretches. I’m tired, I hurt and I gete discouraged but what else is new? Love to each of you, Sue

    • Hi Sue, thanks for the tips using the blog. I am so sorry you hurt and are tired and getting discouraged. I think I know how you feel. What did the therapist say about the scoliosis that was new? I have that same problem as you from the radiation and mastectomy being so radical. I have such a thin amount of skin on my chest because they went so deep in getting all the cancer. Chest wall and most of pectoral muscle gone. I couldn’t have gotten reconstructed if I had wanted to. No skin to stretch. In fact you can feel the breast bone the skin is so stretched and pulled. Been thinking about you a lot. I hope you never get as bent as I am. You have caught yours early so hopefully they are able to help you. I was ok until about 2 years ago. Then I started noticing the being bent and a lot of shoulder pain on the left side. My PT did his best to help me. He did a lot of things to help loosen up the shoulder and he did some dry needleing which is similar to acupuncture. When the needle hits the knot in the muscle, it hurts so good as it starts to relax. I never felt any of the needles going in. It really helped my shoulder. My back was not hurting then so He didn’t do any of that to it. I did however do the pool therapy and walked on the treadmill in the pool. It felt so good. I am going to ask my Rheumatologist to get me back in that therapy and see if it will help my back.
      My sister called me this afternoon wanting to know about a store here that her granddaughter wanted to go to. My sister lives a good hour and a half from me. She had taken Her GD to the orthodontist to get her braces tightened up here near where I live. The store was at our mall so I told her I would come over and meet them. I was with them for 3 hours and really enjoyed it. I had not seen them since Last Thanksgiving. It was so nice to catch up. She adopted her two grandchildren when Mykala was 7 months old and Christian was 4 years old. Her daughter and their dad were in trouble and doing drugs so they really didn’t have much chance but to sign their parental rights to my sister or they would have been in foster care. They were in foster care for a few months until all the home visits and paper work was finished. They were not taken care of at all. Now they are 13 and 16. Their dad was killed 4 years ago by a hit and run drunk driver. He had just gotten out of the hospital and was walking and the young girl hit him stopped and took his money and left him there to die. They caught her but She went free somehow. My sister told me today that it was in the front page of their newspaper that she had robbed a jewelry store and went free with that. They said her medicine caused her to do it and she did not have a gun. It is a small town and people get paid off if you know what I mean. Let’s hope she doesn’t get drunk and kill someone else. Anyway, all that has had bad effects on my great nephew. It is so sad. Their mom is still on pills. She is bipolar and lives with a very abusive boyfriend. She will not have much to do with the kids and they don’t want to be around her. I feel sorry for them and my sister. She has her own health problems and she ain’t no young chicken either. Ok, that is enough of my sister’s problems. Didn’t mean to go into all that. Sorry. I hope you rest well tonight and have a better day tomorrow. I will be praying for you as I always do. My doctor did tell me I had an underlying nerves that was inflamed causing the muscle spans. You were right about it being a nerve. LOVE YOU Miss Sue! Donna

      • Donna, don’t worry about “going on”. The fact is that most of us have far more drama in our lives than we ever tell others. You’re just a bit more honest than most. Your sister is a courageous, dedicated woman and she is reaping the rewards of the kids love as she should. How tragic for them but unfortunately, not that uncommon a story these days. Drugs have ruined our society and very few ever really pull out.
        Yes, our experiences with the mastectomy sound very similar. My PT today has had a mastectomy and knew it well. I think it would be great for you to get back into therapy. We each have to keep our alignment for our bodies as long as we can although it certainly isn’t easy. Today I just felt, frankly, like I’ve had enough. I’m sure I’ll feel more perky tomorrow. So much to deal with over the last months, UGH. Take care now and keep plunging ahead and I’ll do the same. Love, Sue

  30. Donna
    What a tragic story of your sister and her grands.is Mykala affected badly at all? Your sister must be so busy,what a brave and big ,big thing to do.i know she felt she had no choice but still a very life changing choice. I hope that Christian can turn things around for himself

    Sue I hope you feel ok and up to getting those tiles this week.it all sounds as if it’s going to be so pretty

    I’ve hurt my blimmin shoulder,can’t do anything with it and even my bra strap hurts it.had the wheat bag on it .but it just feels like some big bruise..happened after I did some gardening at home
    We will go home Thursday night..then we don’t know when we will be back again.not for a while I think.
    Getting closer to when it’s gotta be dealt with..these days were just a reprieve

    Anna..thinking of you
    Chris

    • Chris, I’m sorry about your shoulder. Do you think it was a gardening overdo? Life has to go on and sometimes it may hurt but emotionally it feels so good to have accomplished something. Just wait and see how it goes when you get home. If life is anything…it is unexpected. I’m so pleased you’ve had a reprieve and no reason to think you won’t get away again…soon we hope. Wait and see how it all plays out at home. It does sound positive about getting some palliative care for your Dad. I’m pleased to know your DD and GS are so supportive and of course, DH.
      I will get down to pick out some tiles for the front stairs but was too shaken up when I left PT today to do it. The guys were working on putting up some new pickets on the fence. Yes, I think new tiles will look better than old, cracked cement.
      Enjoy every moment dear girl. You have a bit of a different perspective now, I know. Love you, Sue

  31. Hey Chris, as for your question about Makayla, if it is affecting her, she never says anything. She stays busy with her friends and she loves school. She is on the A honor roll. My sister takes her swimming a lot in the summer. She loves a store called Bath and Body Works which sells lotions and soaps and candles. I bought her a few things yesterday and she is so appreciative of what you get her. She is the sweetest girl. She handles things differently than her brother.
    I hope your shoulder starts to feel better soon. You are in my prayers. I know you are getting ready to face some hard things pretty quickly. It is all going to be alright and work out. We are all keeping you lifted up in prayers! I hope you don’t have to wait too long before you can get back to the coast. At least it is not a long drive to get there or back. God Bless and rest that shoulder. LOVE YOU Chris. Donna

  32. Posted today but in the old blog so I’ll copy it here:
    Hi everyone. I’m so far behind with everyone but I do think of you guys and pray for you when I do. ❤️
    I’m being lazy so I’m copying/pasting a message I sent to friends last night…
    I ended up not going to OK this (past) weekend due to al the flooding. Talked to mom Friday night she was in good spirits- great grand babies were there. Talked to my sister last night-Mom fell Saturday (she insisted on getting up to the bedside commode and her knees buckled even with my sister and niece holding her up). They called the fire dept to get her back in bed. Then late Sat /early Sun. she was throwing up blood. But yesterday she was able to eat a few crackers and able to drink a little.
    I don’t know which is worse- being there watching it happen or hearing about it after the fact and wondering how bad it really is. 😢t’s pretty awful just waiting and not knowing. I will hear update from the hospice nurse later today. I’m so tired. Not sleeping well. Fibromyalgia flared up really bad and I’m hurting so bad I could barely do PT this morning before work. Trying to live in the moment, feel Gods presence, and find the joy in each day. Just keep praying for us ok? I especially need physical strength as Iim back to my full time hours now and the kids are super restless after 2-3 weeks of rainy weather.
    I’ll try to catch up with everyone soon. Love to all (from Painville), Princess Crabby Pants 👑

    • Thanks sweet Annie, this way no one will miss out on your current message. All are so concerned for you as you go through this difficult time with your Mom. Vomiting blood? Oh no. I know how alarmed you must be. Hugs, prayers for both of you…Love, Sue

  33. Yep sue it was the gardening that did it
    And Jen this is how
    As DH can’t go up a ladder..there I was up one and pulling ivy down from above my head..I do it regularly so it doesn’t grow and each time I’m worse.this time it is the worst.still there sore to move and touch.
    Actually I’m aching all over ,so the walking is off for now,but I did go yesterday ,but my hips are too sore now…..but I had a honeycomb icecream…it was great.ive lost 7 pounds so can’t do that for a while again.
    Back home tomorrow night
    Cold and windy now,but it has been quite nice today
    Annie
    Your mum is made of strong stuff….it’s so awful watching or waiting for us…my thoughts are with you

    My dads 5pm meal went off ok..just wondering how his put to bed one will go tonite at 9pm
    Jen how’s the legs?
    Chris

    • Chris dear, sounds like you have some tendonitis in the arm and shoulder with that pulling action. Hope it responds to heating pad and rest. Ladders, huh?
      I’m so sore and was all night from the girl I had yesterday for PT. Gees, you’d have thought she was making bread dough from the kneading my surgical wound and shoulder took. Crazy but think it did work, darn it. That means we’ll do it again. Think I am standing a bit straighter today. Throat still sore unfortunately so laying around today. Now down to freezer to lay out some meat for dinner. Hope you get along better and get some sleep. Love, Sue

    • CHRS…I GET IT NOW, MUST HAVE HURT A LOT, THE LEGS ARE NOT GREAT, OUT YESTERDAY AND WHAT A RELIEF TO GET HOME………….NOT FEELING AT ALL WELL, SO TIRED AND SICK, DON’T KNOW WHATS GOING ON. DH PICKED UP MY LAB RESULTS, YESTERDAY…..WE HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THEM, AND I HAVE CANDIDA TROPICALIS….BLOODY MARVELLOUS…..BRING IT ON, NOT GOING DOWN THE ANTIBIOTIC ROUTE AGAIN, DESTROYS MORE THAN IT HEALS…….RIGHT NOW I DON’T HAVE THE ENERGY TO THINK ABOUT IT.
      SEEMS LIKE THE CARE FOR DAD IS GOING OK, I DO HOPE THERE ARE NO PROBLEMS WITH HIS CARERS.
      LOVE JEN XX

      • Jen
        Is this candida thing on your skin or is it from blood results ?
        Do you think it was from taking the steroids and your immune system?
        When will you see Dr?
        Do go and get it sorted ..and mention your leg too
        You must be so busy now as well and all that worry about your mum coming brings so much pressure
        It seems the night time carer is…….no bloody good…..as he says.see if it gets better tonight
        Sunny here but goes dull
        Chrisx

  34. Good news that the pt had some benefit to it! I hope the next time will be at least a bit easier for you. She does sound as if she knows what she is doing although it sounds a very vigorous pt. I hope the soreness is going . Could you have a break of the next session? Till it all feels better
    The sore throat do you think it’s the sjogrens rather than a bug,sometimes I dont know the difference until it spreads to a head cold
    Well my shoulder is easier sometimes,then as day wears on its back where it was.wearing a bra is painful
    Heat is good on it as hot as I can stand! It’s morning here and it felt easier,but as I type this its all there again!
    It forecast sunny for today and I woke up to rain!

    Donna we have a store like that over here and when you go by it you can smell it outside.it smells lovely.altho I couldn’t go in with the sjogrens. She does sound a lovely girl and a treasure for your sister. It s a joy to go out shopping with someone who you can light up the day with. I’m trying to rest the shoulder but it’s difficult,it’s my right arm.But Im trying
    I hope you Are feeling not too bad and get back to the therapy as you want. It does sound as if it all helped you
    Thank you for your prayers .
    Annie
    My thoughts are with you such sad times.as you say trying to live in the moment …well that moment is all we have got to be really sure about..
    I know it must be dreadful just waiting and feeling so poorly yourself
    And when you hear news you just feel as if you want to close your ears but hear it at the same time
    There is no way round it just with it…..I know
    Try and rest if you can….difficult I know with all you do

    Well at last the sun is doing what it says on the box
    Gonna get up and do b.fast
    Chris

    • Chris dear, sorry, my morning was busy here. Beth and I went out. I wanted to buy her something, like new shoes, for her birthday next week but she found none she liked and I bought two pair of very comfy ones. Hope they stay comfy. No, I’m afraid the throat is a big as I have a nasty sore in my nose and the drippies. It’s not a big deal, just something else to deal with. I do have a break in the PT until next week with my usual gal being out of town. I just wish I could gain some stamina but walking and standing takes so much out of me it’s a bit of a round robin kind of thing. In time, perhaps.
      I am sorry one of the care givers is not good. You need and want things to be perfect or as close to it as possible, I know and don’t blame you. It’s yours and your Dad’s right. I pray for things to go smoothly as possible for him and for you. Need to answer a few friends on here, a bit behind right now. Love you, Sue

  35. SUE………HOW ARE YOU? SOUNDS LIKE THE PT IS STILL THE WAY TO GO WITH YOU? XX
    TONIE….I KNOW YOU MAY BE OFF LINE BUT HOPE THE MOVE IS GOING WELL, AND FOR THE ANIMALS.
    DONNA…..THINKING OF YOU AND YOUR SISTER.

    LOVE TO EVERYONE………………..GOD BLESS…….JENNIE XX

  36. Morning all:
    Well, the craziness continues. I have no internet at the house now, til I get the swap out done. So only when I am with Ms Alice. Boy do you not realize how much you go online til you can’t !
    Long day at the pain dr yesterday. Saw his PA, really nice young fella. He’s “my guy for everything pain” he said ! 🙂 Told me a couple more things wrong with my back, can’t remember what they were. But….I have more epidurals coming up , hopefully it will cure the back for a while. Then he is going to inject my hip, says I have some sort of syndrome going on in there that it will help. Also help me when I mount the horses better.
    Got the power and water off at the house, and stayed at Judy’s (my sisters) last night. Slept a few hours off and on, bed was too hard, missed my dogs (no dogs in the house rule), so pretty wiped out today. However, we are moving the appliances out tonight, so I must buck up. Take a nap while Ms Alice is 🙂 The boys thought I was mad when I left them in the pen all night. Ceasar was barking and barking. But they went right back in when I left this am, no protests.
    SO… Annie, much prayer for you now at this sad time in your life. Chris for you shoulder , Jennie, for your pain. Take care all and I will get with you when I can.
    Sue…keep on keeping on mama !
    Love
    Tonie

    • TONIE…GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU…..THINGS A BIT TOUGH RIGHT NOW HUH?? SOON BE SORTED MY FRIEND, ALL TAKES TIME, BUT SO DIFFERENT FROM LAST TIME, REMEMBER HOW YOU BROKE YOUR WRIST ON ROUTE FROM AZ? JUST ONE STEP AT A TIME AND AS MUCH REST AS YOU CAN FIT IN….I KNOW YOU MISS THE DOGS ETC, BUT ALL WILL BE WELL….LOVE JEN X

    • Tonie, yep things sound very crazy but at least they’re moving forward. I am concerned for all of it but most of all want you to come out intact. Poor pups will survive just fine but I know it does tug at your heart strings right now. Judy is pretty about that, huh? The new PA sounds good thus far. I guess the proof will be in the pudding, so to speak if he can help you along the way. Won’t it all be fine once it’s done? I’m excited for you and hope you feel well enough to keep your enthusiasm up. That will see you through or at least help by giving you an extra boost of adrenalin. Hope Ms. Alice is feeling stronger as each day passes.
      Been out picking new tile for the stair fronts and sides at the entrance to our home. Beautiful examples of slate to choose from then we’ll have the retaining wall painted to match. Much to do and so little energy to do it. Must keep pushing through this. Love you, Sue

  37. CHRIS….RIGHT NOW I JUST WANT TO PUT MY HEAD DOWN AND WEEP…………….BEEN FEELING THAT WAY ALL DAY, SURE IT MUST BE THE FALLOUT FROM THE STUFF I HAD TO TAKE, YOU ARE RIGHT.
    UNDER TOO MUCH PRESSURE, I AM TRYING SO HARD WITH MY MUM, BUT SHE IS SO HARD TO PLEASE, NOTHING I DO IS RIGHT, AND I AM SO SICK OF BEING COMPARED TO MY SISTER……………I AM STILL GLAD SHE IS HERE THOUGH, BUT I DON’T FEEL LOVED, ONLY TOLERATED IN MY OWN HOME….NEVER MIND, GOT TO SOLDIER ON AND DO WHAT I CAN FOR HER, COULDN’T LIVE WITH MYSELF OTHERWISE…..
    I AM SO SORRY THE CARER IS SUCH CRAP, THEY DO SO LITTLE AND COST SO MUCH,,,GIVE THEM A CALL AND HAVE A GO, WHY SHOULD THEY GET MONEY FOR NOT DOING THE JOB…..POOR DAD…..CHIN UP LOVE……..JEN XX

  38. ANNIE…….ALWAYS IN MY THOUGHTS MY FRIEND……STAY STRONG FOR MUM AND FOR YOURSELF, ALL OF US ON HERE KNOW HOW IT IS……………LOVE YOU BIG…………JEN X

  39. SUE…THE FACT YOU ARE NOT ON HERE RIGHT NOW, MAY MEAN YOU ARE NOT FEELING UP TO IT, SO THINKING OF YOU SWEET LADY, AND LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU WHEN YOU ARE FEELING BETTER……LOVE YOU…JEN X

    • Jennie, I am a person with just so much energy right now and I used it up this morning with errands. My dear friend, I suspect that down in your heart your knew it was going to be rough having your Mom there but hoped for the relationship to be different. It’s okay. You will survive this trying time and you will get your home, privacy and sanity back. I’m sorry she is as she is but I suspect it’s always been thus and at her age, no change. You know it’s always possible she uses the same tactics on your sister and tells her what you do right and she does wrong. I hate it that something like this can take such a toll on you dear friend and dear lady. Stay strong, give yourself space and hold tight to who you are which is someone absolutely fabulous. Much love, Sue

  40. Hello, all 🙂 Jennie, I’m ok. Busy, but ok. It has been hot and humid here, but supposed to be cooler and not as humid soon. Poor Sadie pup will enjoy that. She has not begun her seasonal shedding yet. My DH is having his department over to our house for a cookout tomorrow, so I’m trying to get everything ready. Usual aches and pains, aggravated by overdoing from time to time – just like everyone else. SB doesn’t care for selling cars and has found himself a job landscaping – something he’s wanted to do for a while. We’ll see how he really likes it once he’s doing it. He’s trying to find his way. He’s always had to learn by doing. DD is a bit frustrated by him, but I get it. DH is ok with it. I must head out now to check on the garden of friends of mine. They are away and she said asparagus and lettuce should be ready to be cut. Take care, everyone!

    • Lyn, I think it’s great that SB is trying out something he thinks he might like. No better way to find out, huh? Selling isn’t for everyone. I tried it years ago, selling waterless cookware before I went into nursing and had two kids to support. I did well at it but didn’t like it. I couldn’t sell something to someone who I felt couldn’t afford it. I think that means I don’t have a salesman’s heart. Some do. Hope your big affair turns out well for DH and his associates. I know you and know you will make it delicious and lovely. Hope you get a break from the humidity…dear Sadie, too. We’ve got some mild heat coming our way it seems this weekend. Nice change, approx in the low 80’s.
      I’m moving at a snail’s pace. This last PT did me in and I’m still hurting from it. Don’t know if I’ll return until my regular person is back. Hope you’re enjoying your lovely spring flowers all around your yard. Have fun tomorrow. Do be good to yourself. Love ya, Sue

    • Hi Lyn….could sure do with some hot and humid right now, so cold here more like March, supposed to perk up next week though, and hopefully we will get to the coast.
      Do you get Sadie clipped when it gets hot?
      Take it easy and don’t work too hard for the cookout…….DELEGATE !!!!!!
      Have fun too, and let the others do the clearing up.
      It sounds like SB has found his true vocation, he will soon find his way and enjoy working out in the fresh air.
      Take care…….love Jennie xx

  41. Sue
    Two pairs..lucky you.i can never see any to fit me..but tornorow is the day I’m gonna find some ,I need to.my old shoes now are too embarrassing. So fingers crossed.!
    But now you have to think of something for DD birthday…..Good a nice break from the pt.
    Well my dads not pleased with the putting to bed visit,I rang but they say he won’t let them do things.so I don’t know,but maybe the phone call I made will sort it out..he’s pleased with the one visit during the day as that’s the girl he likes. But in the one visit they left him wet in bed…so the neighbour said to me. (She had to sort him out) But that could be as my dad might have been embarrassed to be seen then by a new person.
    But. Tomorrow DH has a Drs appt and opticians ,so will go and see him after. You now have to speak for him repeat what you think he said for him to say yes ,or no.but if he’s annoyed he comes out with a sentence! It’s very difficult on the phone as well bcos he won’t switch the TV down,and if you ask him to he takes ages to find the remote ,and then can’t do it properly
    The tiles and matching walk are going to look great
    Jen
    Oh Jen I don’t know what to say ,but it’s June soon and hopefully time will go.do get to Drs tho before then.
    I know gritting your teeth with it will cause extra pressure so get one thing sorted that you can do and to get this candida thing out of the way
    Good job sasha Is There for you and not forgetting DH!!
    Tonie
    Just take it easy with it all
    Well gonna try to get back to sleep as up early in the morning
    Chris

    • Chris, As far as the shoes. The new brand I found are called Cobb Hill and they are a cloth shoe, flat with memory foam inserts so here’s hoping.
      I’m sorry your Dad’s caregivers are being a problem at night. I’ll bet you’re right and he was shy or embarrassed with a new person. You have much to deal with now and my heart goes out to you. Love, Sue

    • Hi Chris…..no need to say anything love…all is ok, went to the Doc this morning, got some anti fungal tablets, and some probiotics, so good to go, I think stress is the main issue here, the weepiness is awful though, it shouldn’t be like this, but I don’t want to keep on about it, I feel disloyal to my Mum, so getting on with things must be the way forward….so sorry to hear of your Dad’s plight, and the night staff, I think you are right and he was maybe embarrassed to be seen wet…bless him.
      How is the shoulder love? any easier??……..love Jen x

  42. Spoke with the hospice nurse yesterday and she thought the vomiting blood was perhaps due to an ulcer? Also said the nausea itself may have been due either to pain or to her declining kidney function. She gave Mom some Phenergan a couple times and the stronger pain meds and she’s had no more throwing up as of last night. (They compounded the Phenergan into a cream she can apply topically do she doesn’t have to swallow a pill or take a suppository when she’s already nauseated.)
    I am leaving Saturday afternoon to go for a visit and returning Monday morning. Assuming that there is no additional flooding. More rain is predicted but hopefully not as heavy and not as much. The rivers are already out of their banks in many parts of Texas and Oklahoma.
    My sweet baby grandniece turns 1year old Saturday. I will not be there in time for her party but will get to see her that evening. I can’t wait. I’ll try to post a pic for those of you on Facebook. Love to all, Princess Crabby Pants👑

    • Annie, Sounds like your Mom is getting good care and holding for now. I pray you will be able to get there and see her safely and in a dry fashion. What a mess and how awful for so many down there. Thanks for letting us know how she is doing. Prayers continue for both of you and your entire family. Love you, Sue

    • Oh Annie….I will pray you get safely to our Mom, and then back home again……thank goodness they were able to sort out the sickness, poor little love.
      I hope you catch up with your little grandniece and have some fun, you need it with all the worry you have had…..be careful travelling…..thinking of you…..Jennie x

  43. Hi all
    Well we snatched a night away at shed..and it came to having two nights .go back tomorrow .weather is good ,but rain tomorrow
    Sue
    Tried for shoes ..no good..apparently I’ve got a skinny heel! How come just one bit and not the rest of me! Tried on loads then got fed up so came home .hope you are ok this w.end
    Going out later to a place where we watch the sun go down.it looks so great when it disappears behind the sea,you feel like clapping,it’s all so clever!
    Got the doors all open ,feels like summer!
    Hope everyone is ok
    And Suzanne
    Chris

    • Chris dear, glad you got away for the respite you need. I’m surprised some of the shoe clerks didn’t suggest you use a heel insert. Would make all the difference in the world I think. It would take care of the clomp, clomp of the heel. I’m convinced our feet are often greatly affected by arthritis and Sjogren’s, after all they are jointed and tissue. Sometimes the bones in the feet hurt as much as the others for me. The sunset sounds heavenly…I guess it is. Sounds wonderful. Enjoy, Sue

  44. Well I did have some heel inserts once and they kept coming off with my foot,so I didn’t fancy buying shoes that may not fit.she did say the next shop sold them.but I’d had enough trying on and got bored and fed up.its the same every year….I have to go from boots to sandals ,no Inbetween! Good job I don’t have to go anywhere posh!
    Well not a great sunset..cloudy and rain on way.back home tomorrow
    DD has landed in Kos safely.she has got free wifi there so I shall praps here some more from her
    Hope your cold has cleared a bit sue
    Jen
    Wonder if you got to coast
    Hope you ok on tablets
    Chris

    • Chris, that is exactly why I always buy two pair when I find a pair of shoes I like. Then there is always that breaking in period. As far as sandals I have three pair of a brand called SAS that I like in the same color and have demoted them down to dirtier tasks. I just have them resoled as they are leather and that comfortable. I used to wear that brand in nursing shoes where comfort is the word.
      Throat still rough, nose broken out but okay. Life goes on about as usual except I feel I took a step back this week with different therapy.
      I know you enjoy your beach house, even on a rainy day so hope you’re having a good evening. Love to you…Oh yes, you can always find a way to stick the heel support into the shoe. Sue

      • Sue
        Tried to stick heel support many ways they just come off when foot rubs on it
        Have to look around shops
        Hope your w.end ok
        Chris

    • CHRIS…HI, HAVE YOU TRIED “HOTTERS” THEY ARE USUALLY A GOOD SHOE FOR AWKWARD FEET…JUST A THOUGHT……I CAN ONLY WEAR CLOGS IN THE WINTER, AND SANDALS WITHOUT STRAPS IN THE SUMMER, COS NOW I’VE GOT THE ACHILLES HEEL THINGY, A STRAP ROUND THE ANKLE HURTS LIKE HELL.
      HOPE ALL IS WELL AT HOME WITH DAD….ARE YOU AT THE SHED…..ITS BEEN TOO WET TO GO TO THE COAST, BUT WILL TRY NEXT WEEK WHEN ITS DUE TO PERK UP.
      ON THE ANTI FUNGAL STUFF RIGHT NOW, SO A BIT BELOW PAR, BUT NOT FOR LONG……HAVE A NICE WEEKEND LOVE…………………..JEN X

      • Yea Jen
        Been to their shops…too wide they boat when I bend foot and then heel to big again!
        Nice comfy shoes tho
        Ankle no better then?
        Poured with rain today we came home this morning
        Hope you are up to speed soon and off tablets
        Someone for your house….great take it all as it comes
        I’m getting all hetup and prepared for next week.something each day
        Try to talk to my dads specialist Monday,Tuesday the appt.also DH hearing aid packed up,and have to sort it out,dad has apt for his droopy eyes at hospital as well….and there’s all the fall out from it.im not to good either….house work to do and dad has another Parkinson’s apt as well
        Ugh!
        Anyway go and make done tea
        Chris

  45. FORGOT TO SAY…..GOT AN AMERICAN COUPLE INTERESTED IN THE HOUSE, THEY ARE FROM TEXAS…NOT YOU IS IT ANNIE?? NOT GETTING TOO EXCITED…JUST WAIT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS…….LOVE TO ALL AND HOPE THE WEEKEND IS GOOD…..LOVE JEN XX

    • Jennie, That’s encouraging news. Janet’s in TX as well as Annie…and half my family. They’re good people those Texans. Hope they buy it. Hope you’re getting in some rest periods and the infection is easing up for you. Those can take awhile to clear so don’t get discouraged, okay? So glad to hear it will be warming up for you. Love you lots, Sue

  46. Hope my replies to sue and Jennie went thru ok
    It seems to but I noticed I put the Internet address out one letter
    Chris

    • CHRIS….THEY WENT THROUGH OK…OH POOR YOU, SEEMS TO BE ONE LONG ROUND OF APPTS, AND YOU DON’T FEEL WELL INTO THE BARGAIN, I HOPE YOU MANAGE SOME TIME FOR YOURSELF, AS FROM THE MIDDLE OF NEXT WEEK ITS GOING TO BE HOT, HOT, HOT……………….WHOOPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
      LOVE YA….JEN XX

    • Chris, no fear. I did notice your colored symbol changed…still green…you know the one to the left of message? Wow, what a week you have. I know it will be stressful and pray for you to have extra strength. Sorry you are not feeling well and hope due to that all goes more smoothly than you imagine right now. Will it warm up for you at home as well as at beach? Hope DH and Dad get all things straightened out. Must be so frustrating for both of you when DH can’t hear.
      There is a great catalog for people who need specially comfortable shoes, it’s called FootSmart. You could get online or perhaps order a catalog at FootSmart.com. Just a thought. They also have inserts and such with lots of sandals right now. Good luck in your quest. I sympathize with the whole foot pain issue. Lovely here today. Jim cleaning my car and I’m doing laundry in between lazy spurts. Love, Sue

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