When Good Boobs Go Bad

Here is a replay of an older poem of mine to honor National Breast Cancer Awareness month, along with prayers for all who are fighting this hideous disease as I continue to do.

WHEN GOOD BOOBS GO BAD!

Remember as a youngster
You could hardly wait,
For buds to sprout upon your chest;
Each birthday, update? Update?

For both guys and gals,
The other quest was hair
Any color would do
Just somewhere, anywhere.

Eventually there came a sprout
When your chest burst forth
And a “woman” you were,
At least “up North.”

The trip was planned
The training bra search on.
Who knew they needed training,
Especially with lace or nylon?

You couldn’t take poor Dad along
Oh my gosh, the thought;
But even with Mom
The modesty battle was fought.

You finally came home
Two new bras in hand
And grabbed the phone,
To chat about Lingerie Land.

They came in all sizes
Training bras to double D’s,
‘tweens to Dolly Parton
‘twas all anatomy.

Your Mama and your Grandma
Passed mammary genes to you,
When they began to sprout
That was your debut.

Little did you suspect
How pleasurable they’d be?
Nor how cozy and convenient
After birthing progeny.

Then there came the moment
Your boobs, they did rebel.
Strange cells began to grow
And life spun into hell.

Shaken to the core
All began to change
Medical folks came at you,
All life seemed rearranged.

You’d ask, “Will I still be the same,
If my boobs are cut from me?
The bottom line is clear,
I’ll be alive and cancer free.”

Just look at it this way
New boobs will be so perky;
When all around you
Others dangle like beef jerky.

I love my breasts, but not enough
To grab a pole and strip,
Neither would I keep them
To go down with the Ship.

We women are so much more
Than our mammary glands.
Our hearts, our souls and dreams,
Now, those are life’s brass bands.

Sue Falkner Wood

60 thoughts on “When Good Boobs Go Bad

    • Phyllis dear, So do I. I feel so young and perky some days it’s hard to believe so much is wrong with me. I gave this to my radiology oncologist and he loved it. He said, “Did you really write this?” I say , of course…yes, Then he said, “How long did it take you?” I told him about three hours. Then he said, “I couldn’t rhyme all that if you gave me a year.” I thought that was so sweet of him to say that. It was very cathartic for me to write it at that time in my life. Hope all the messages I hope to convey in this work came through, especially for women. Fondly, Sue

      • Dear Sue,

        All the messages came through loud and clear and, I am sure, resonated with many readers. Since your oncologist was so taken by it, perhaps you should consider making a copy for him to hang on his wall….

        Feel no pain, just love and appreciation,
        Phyl

  1. All life’s moments in the beginning with them breasts are felt here with your words ..as Phyllis says I too wish your health was up there with your all your talents

    I started the nose spray today…..ugh.see what happens
    Chris

    • Chris dear, I know what you’ve been through and hope you get some relief. This awful pain with your nose has gone on far too long. When you mentioned the change in how it looks, actually curving, I understand. That has to mean the cartilage that is your nasal septum is involved and that hurts like mad. With Sjogren’s syndrome life can be so difficult and you know, I know. The last time I saw my rheumy as I was leaving I mentioned to her how miserable SS is to live with and she said SS is the worst type of arthritis. I was surprised and thought about that on the drive home. I don’t share that to under estimate all that our friends with other problems and misery go through; I was just surprised she understands this disease that is so complicated and different with each patient yet the same.
      The last bad bout I had with the nose and throat was from the opioids I was on and that’s why I can’t take them which leads me to ask you if you’ve reviewed all your meds. Could it be something you are taking? What do you perceive is the cause of this terrible time and what started it? Forgive me if you mentioned it and I forgot.
      I am worried about you and hate to see you have such a time of it.
      Up early today for early mammogram and ultrasound of same. Ironic timing with the poem. Is it also breast cancer awareness in Britain? Hope DH is well that B/P is behaving.
      Prayers and love, Sue

      • It’s a breast cancer awareness month here
        DH bp seems ok at moment
        Hopefully my nose will improve shortly. .im feeling a bit weak and wishy washy with it.dont know why it would do that
        I don’t know what started it…I did for about six months have a drippy nose just a drip on the end of nose out of the blue..then this started … All odd..I know all smells affect it.and I sneeze a lot
        Wearing glasses ain’t much fun with the pressure there
        Looks like we got another storm here tomorrow,winds etc still strange weather everywhere
        I pray all is well today for you sue
        Chris

  2. Sue
    So much of your humor comes through with this and I know you and how you make humor out of bad situations, no matter what. You are in roots a “Suthern” girl and can’t help it. But I love it as I do the same.
    After two long days of helping make apple butter I am tired, sore and need to catch up on my housework. My floors look like the dogs have had a party the last two days ! Need a bank run, water pickup and several other things. We will see how much I get done. Housework last, haha ! Well, I will at least put the Roomba to work before I leave.
    Love the poem and hope your knees are feeling better.
    Much love
    Tonie

    • Tonie, Funny how that old housework can pile up…at least it’s consistent. Taking a day to make apple butter, with your special assistant sounds like hard work but a lot of fun. Gives you that good feeling of productivity when you stand back and look at those jars, doesn’t it. Life does go on outside of apple butter days. I have always been so grateful to you for introducing me to the Roomba vacuums and have gone through two of them. One was a rebuilt one though, to be fair.
      Prayers continue for your good friend and your sister Judy’s who is in her final days on this earth. Heartache for all of you, I know.
      Big storm blew in here last night with lots of wind and rain however wind not as bad as they had predicted, thankfully.
      Difficult to judge how I feel today, the day after methotrexate and with all I went through yesterday with tests. Resting mostly with a bit of laundry thrown in.
      Just wondering why the count on here is not correct. When you get a minute maybe you can check into that. It makes it confusing for folks. They think no one else has chimed in. Much love, Sue

  3. Lol!! I love the phrase, “…others dangle like beef jerky.” Lol so true!
    Thank you for brining us Joy today!! I love this!!

    • Brenda, I know, sometimes I say or write something that my would appall my mother. I had to take my lone remaining “beef jerky” to get a mammogram and ultrasound this morning. Two cysts that have been there for a year or two but no new cancer in the boobie. Good, good. Please share this with any of your friends who have or are going through this particular misery and do take care of yourself. Joy is the goal…Love, Sue

  4. Chris, oh dear, your poor nose needs to go with you to a specialist. I don’t believe you are getting good care at all and it is alarming. As far as drippy noses, many of us with Sjogren’s Syndrome has a drippy nose all the time and are always armed with a Kleenex or two. I am hypersensitive to ALL odors. That’s why I had to give up swimming at our wonderful indoor pool; the chlorine. I wear very little of my favorite perfume and just spray it once and walk through it. Cigarette smoke is extremely toxic to the nose and throats of most SS patients. Has this episode affected your swallowing or breathing at all?
    Trip to get mammo yesterday as well as ultrasound then lab work. All turned out well. No changes in the cysts in the lone breast and labs no change; for cancer labs, that’s a good thing. Much love and concern, Sue

  5. Sue, perfect replay for Breast Awareness Month! Congrats for your clean mammo! Whew. I would second Phyllis’s idea of sharing a copy of your poem for your Oncologist to post. 🙂
    Chris, I do hope you find some relief with your nasal spray. What an awful time you’ve been having with your nose.
    Tonie, housework – ugh! You know, I cleaned and did laundry before I left for the Outer Banks, and came home to housework and laundry. Oh, and a house that needed straightening, of course. I did a little yesterday, but first priority was a nice walk for the pup! She hadn’t been walked in a couple of days due to SB and DH’s schedules. I’ll do some more today, but must also walk pup again and go to a friend’s business open house this afternoon.
    I had a wonderful week at the Outer Banks with friends! Missed the fam and pets (only I could get away), though. Overall, I felt pretty good down there once the rain and cold passed. We managed 2 LONG walks on the beach – I survived thanks to their hot tub! But, no more long walks after that. I broke up the drive home by staying the night at their house in Bethesda before taking the final leg home. Still was exhausted last evening. I treated DH and myself to a really nice dinner out, we had a quiet evening and I headed to bed early. Still a bit done in today, so will do what I need to only. I did get a head start on Christmas shopping this morning, though! Pup is looking very tired still, too, so maybe not a long walk for us today. That would work well. Waiting for it to warm up a bit.
    Best to all!

    • Lyn
      I love the Outer Banks really all the beaches on the east coast of the Carolinas. Especially nice when there are not so many people around. Bernard and I plan to go and see my daughter and kids soon, and I can visit the beach there again. Summer or winter, I love the beach.
      I am almost finished with my Christmas shopping. I have two grandsons to buy for and have to make my granddaughters mermaid tail. And then the bad part…..wrapping !!!
      Glad you enjoyed your time away. Sometimes you need the alone time.
      Tonie

  6. Lyn it sounds like you had a lovely time away.take all the return work in your stride ..the places you went to I googled to see as its all new to me..they look great

    Sue I can never wear perfume and have to ask who comes to the house not too…it’s so embarrassing .
    And in other houses air fresheners ..the list goes on .the house needs painting but it can’t be done .no it hasn’t affected my breathing . More than its always a bit raw there..I’ve got a drs apt on Friday
    Ok gotta Finnish put drops in and can’t see properly
    Xx

    • Chris, I pray and hope you are better each day. What a rough life this SS is to live with. Drops, diet, activities, breathing, oh my goodness. Big hugs tonight as I lie here on my heating pad. Good thing they’re virtual…do’t have to stand up. Much love and understanding. Sue

    • Chris, I do hope you find some relief soon. Rough life, indeed. I am sensitive to scents also, although not to that extreme. Unfortunately, DD tends to prefer the very scents I cannot tolerate. It was really rough through her teen years!

      • Lyn, Glad you are home but not as much so as Sadie is. Sounds like and looked like you had a marvelous time. Hope you feel renewal. I love those long, lonely beaches. I’m sure ours are a bit cooler than where you visited. Lovely pics on FB. Hope you feel as well as can…
        Unfortunately we are in crisis mode. Had a water pipe break in the yard a few days ago, finally found it yesterday after rains stopped. Now to get the plumber to work us into his schedule. Money pouring out into the street. Can’t turn it off because we need water. I hate stuff like this…but who doesn’t. Love ya, Sue

  7. Sue, Congrats on your check up!
    Very tired here! We closed down the cottage this past weekend. It is always a busy time of year. I hate to see the summer ending and makes me think about the passage of time. The grands came for one last night and were sad to leave. DH has been very busy taking his Mom for radiation treatments and she sees the oncologist tomorrow. That disease is nasty but so unkind when it decides to attack at ninety-one. Tomorrow I believe we will learn if the treatments gave her a bit more time with her family.
    My DH has a very sensitive nose, can smell things I can’t and smells really bother him, but it is not as bad as Sjogren’s! It has mainly been my eyes that were involved but lately, my mouth has been dry and my throat sore, but RA also involves the tiny joints in my throat … such a terrible feeling! Once I lost my voice for several days, but I am often hoarse. That can be one of the first signs of a flare for me.
    I had my DNA analysed and I am now working on a family tree to pass on to my grands with some stories about their ancestors. I have cousins on both sides of my family also doing research so it is very interesting, especially my mother’s family. I wish my parents were here to help or I had started sooner, but so much more information is now available now online.
    Time for bed. Gentle hugs for all. Pommum Brenda

    • Pommum, Always so good to hear from you. So that time has rolled around again when you wrap up the cottage for coming winter and go home. Sounds like you had a wonderful summer. Aren’t those grands of yours growing like weeds? I know all of ours seem to shoot up so fast. Have a smooth transition, okay?
      I am sorry to hear about your MIL. At that age radiation therapy is going to be rough. Surely they will gauge it for her age, skin condition and overall health. Poor lady. This cancer is an ugly business for certain.

      As far as mine, they have made it clear there is no cure, just delay. I have already done better than they expected with the current injections. Hope I continue to amaze them. As far as my daily life,, I am far more troubled by my SJogren’s right now and have for several months. Must drink all the time just to swallow and speak so I understand your symptoms.Frustrating isn’t it? Hope you’ve found some eye drops to help there. I have lost so much vision, I am online far less and can only read a book with the help of my Kindle. I, like you, keep looking for the joy. Beautiful here today, more rain on the way. Much love, Sue

  8. Hello all
    Sue, so glad for your clean check up. I know how anxious you get before them, and so happy you had good news.
    My news is not so good. My sisters friend, Mary died quite suddenly this week. Got sick with pneumonia, in the hospital and from there to home and hospice. The cancer was worse than the Dr;s. led them to believe I think. But, sad time for us all. They were friends for 50 years and close as sisters. She was a part of the family. I hate funerals, but have to be a part of this one to support my sis.
    Prayers requested for her and the family of Mary.
    Love to all
    Tonie

  9. Tonie
    Prayers for all of you there ,bad time
    Sue
    What a thing to happen I’m so sorry for you .what is it with plumbing..it’s the most awkward of problems to find..surely he will turn up as an emergency
    Pommum
    I’m into family history it’s great you get so hooked on it..need plenty of time. Everyone one says theyd wished they’d ask there parents ..I think those words are a right of passage!
    Got an earlier apply with dr..he looked said no polyps,and the airways now clear..so keep on the spray for another 4 weeks .nose still throbs sometimes….so I got new pads on my glasses see if it’s easier . Have to see what happens when I stop,the spray…after the other it came all back but only on it for two weeks ..maybe I have to do something all the time to keep it away
    The dr said. How did all this start then….ugh it just happened!
    Ok just had toasted cheese on toast .now a cup of tea

    Chris

  10. Hi,
    Well answering all, in this one
    Hi again rosetint
    Sue
    I put the honey in my nose….oh dear! Shall try the coconut in the nose when I finished the spray . No all the soreness is in the nose but it s swollen on the outside too I suppose she means she will refer me after i,try the spray..but this was another dr today and he said same . So will do that and I will go back after just two weeks more. But if it’s better I got a choice of wait till’it comes back …….
    Lyn
    I appreciate the DD v mum with perfume ….. Hope all back to your normal ….
    Tonie
    Judy must be devastated with such a loss…how is Mary’s husband I think I recall you mentioned one earlier
    Ok I fell asleep just woke up.had my hair done today,thought it would cheer me up .but it was awkward bending to wash hair with my nose …but determined to keep going may go to coast in the morning via stop for cheese scone!
    Chris

  11. Tonie, so sorry to hear about Mary. I did see it on FB, but haven’t been on much. Still trying to recover from my trip. Today was a bit better, so “relief” is in sight.
    Sue, oh no! Always something.
    Chris, you enjoy that scone! I had one here today. It was tasty, but not like the ones I had in England, or that my Irish friend made us. Oh well. Guess I should try to make some myself. I do have some recipes from Pinterest.

    • Lyn dear, hope you are settled back and rested. I know for a fact Sadie is one happy pup now. We couldn’t get the plumber out here until Wednesday so it was a week of squirting water onto the sidewalk. They were very busy due to the pouring rain we had all that week and weekend. I don’t think we could have seen where the leak was bubbling out of the ground anyway with all the pouring rain. Since the house is so old, one of the old copper connections or whatever you call it that holds two . pipes together had popped a hole. The guy had to dig down quite deeply and did a great job. Was only here a couple of hours so we were pleasantly surprised. Since we had the water dept out, that very nice man who came out has already sent us a form to fill out to get a reduced rate on our water bill. Sweet relief to get rid of that annoying sound when I knew water was running but couldn’t figure out where.
      I know how much you like to cook and now with the cold weather, well…Chicken chili here today…just for me, so I’d better like it. Just sounded good. Hope all is well with the coming cold for you, Love, Sue

  12. Had to just mention.about finding humour
    Well..the dr said I have very nice looking slim nasal openings…..well! But that is a problem in itself
    Of all the places to be slim and a problem too ..
    Chris

    • Chris, Must warn you I am having a miserable day. I washed some of Jim’s new jeans with a red shirt…You know it’s hard to find anything to wash with one lone red shirt and…I ruined the shirt. I lost a long post to you, SO frustrating. Then I was upstairs and burned my whole pot of chicken chili…house stinks. Think I should just go to bed and forget this day and I know you understand. Now, what to do about dinner???
      It is a bit funny about your delicate tiny nostrils if only you can use them a bit more. I know how much that hurts having been there. Maybe the doctor was flirting with you? Hope DH and heart episodes, or what we assume are cardiac related spells are not recurring. If so, time for a dr. visit, I know. Some days this whole being ill all the time and growing old is a real toss up as to which is worse and what is what. I know you and you just keep trudging on like I do.
      Just chatting with you makes me feel better. Pain levels have been so high for me this past week and next week I see a new cardiologist. I hope I like him as much as my cardiologist in Portland. On Thursday of next week, a trip to Portland. First one in awhile.
      Hope you’re getting your trips to the coast often…so refreshing for both of you. Love ya much, Sue

  13. Hello all
    What a hectic life these past few weeks ! Sue glad you got your plumbing fixed, and it was minor. Probably not the bill though.
    Tonight is Mary’s viewing. Dread it, funeral tomorrow. Her husband is devastated Chris. But Judy is his rock as well. He asked her to help with everything. I went by yesterday with her clothes and he told me she was to keep the house keys and was welcome anytime even at midnight !
    Today’s fiasco, my keurig is going downhill. Too much useage since the Frenchman is here and the water stops coming until you clean it. So ordered and new one and think Judy can use this one as she only makes a cup a day if that. Still works good, but…..like me it is old.
    Cold here this week. After the floods and near tornado of Monday. Frost and heaters on at night. Yesterday we went to Frans and then shopping, etc. all day. Came home to Ceasar in the yard ! Outside all day, we didn’t notice the little booger was not in the house when we left ! I have one of those magnetic screens on the back door . He scratches on the door when he wants in, and that screen is in shreds on the bottom where he was wanting in ! Poor little guy .
    Oh well, must be off. Loads to get done today. My dd is coming tonight for the funeral tomorrow. And m bother and sil.
    Love to all

    • Tonie, Since you and I have been communicating online I know what a rough couple of weeks you’ve had. I hope you get to rest very soon. I know you two are running on love but even that wears thin when you are exhausted. I hope Judy and Mary’s DH are both getting some much needed rest.
      Poor Caesar…he must have been quite frantic. Hope you got a new Keurig for your morning cuppa and also hope you got to visit with DD when she came for funeral. Sad times for so many of you.
      I do hope your Frenchman enjoys the snow if you get some. Looks likely from the weather report but who knows. We’ve enjoyed cool but sunny. Trying to get the front porch stairs painted but a bit too cold and a bit of a fog in the air. Feeling poorly here. Think I’ve been bending, lifting and moving things about as I get the bedroom I’m converting into an upstairs den ready for use. I like it emotionally but my body doesn’t. Sure wish my mind and body got along more amicably. Late and eyes going…Much love, new blog next weekend. Working on it and may be a two parter. Sue

  14. Hi all
    Ahh sue you were looking forward to that meal too..oh the washing too ,what a day !
    Well I hope the dr was flirting with me….be a change! He was a different one..maybe I’ll try him again with my nostrils!
    Your pain at the moment..how’s that oil doing ,do you still have it to help?
    Looks like this next week is busy for you . How’s the knees in the pain war? Have you had the third injection?
    Today dd came and we went shopping for bed stuff for gs. He is sharing a house with a mate he knows now. It was a moving in pressie
    She bought a dress and I had a long top all bargains in a sale ..do you have joules shops over there at alll .it was magic to both see bargains there just waiting for us! The weather was sunny .but ove4nite its been cold .
    We hope If dh is ok to go to a Halloween nite at the coffee shop we go to. She is staying open till just 8 pm with Halloween food. All the village goes to it and have fun…so we shall see.as for dh trying to listen to people puts his bp up much too high
    When we go there in the morning he can buy a newspaper and just read and people then don’t talk to him but he can’t do that on that nite so I’m not sure
    Not going to the coast so much as his bp has been very high on coming back with the driving…my eyes no good for driving back sun shines low as we drive back west or it’s dark and the lights if the cars play me up

    Tonie
    How is all . How is Judy beating up?
    Lyn
    You will have to make those scones. One place I went to had cheese scones then halved them and toaded cheese on top.it was nice,but now I’m on a diet can’t….lost 5lbs so gotta keep it up
    Hi rose tint
    Your catching up on the blogs.
    Well our time went back an hour over the weekend.and it’s colder here too so it’s really moving into that other season….
    Chris

  15. Sue
    No snow, thankfully, just a few flakes. Bernard worked out in the cold all day, fixing this and sorting that. He loves it. Mindless labor I call it. But I am now spoiled that I can stay inside and not have to go out and feed animals in the early morning.
    Chris, Judy is doing better, not resting though. She hurt her sides and back leaning over the beds while her friend was bed fast.
    But she will be okay. Much work to do. We moved her scooters and some crates she filled on Saturday. Hope to finish tomorrow after workout.
    Today to Roanoke to RA apt. In the afternoon. Leaving soon so Frenchie and window shop in all the stores. Wearing comfortable shoes ! Haha !
    Lyn, hope the cold is not making you feel like I do. Ugh ! Chris we change times this weekend
    Love to all
    Tonie

  16. Oh tonie that’s fantastic…I’ve only lost 7 so you’ve done so well..it must feel good in your clothes now
    Hope you are feeling better and resting more
    Sue
    Oh I do so wish too,your body would behave there and take a good telling
    But it will be nice to have a study for yourself
    Well very cold such a change in the weather
    Chris

  17. Chris
    Janet, thanks. Yes, my clothes feel better. Had no idea it was so much though. Cold here again. But 70 on Thursday. I hate giving in to winter, but know it is coming. So busy here, like the ant getting ready for it. Next is to finish closing in the porch and insulating it. Red has been in his nice warm stall for the last few nights. Eating his hay. Trying to pack some pounds on him. But the old man can’t eat so good these days, his teeth and mouth don’t function like before. Poor guy. But he is warm and dry now.
    Swim this morning. Finally. Then help Judy move more of her things. Leave her to pack while we work out. Tomorrow here, the Thursday at Mrs Blairs’. Her daughter has stomach cancer and is undergoing chemo. Please keep her in your prayers. Also, my friend whose husband has brain cancer. He passed on yesterday. So much death and destruction from that awful disease. Lord help us.
    Well, Sue, I hope your eyes are doing better today. And your knees. It is such a rough life with this stuff. Like Bernard said yesterday, life is like a lottery, some are lucky and others are not so much. But we are strong and will fight til we can’t.
    Love ya
    Tonie

    • Tonie, You manage to do so much. I’m afraid I have turned into a couch potato. I use the pool 2 or 3 times a week, go to the gym once, do my laundry and shop for my groceries. Other than that I spend a lot of time reading or watching TV. I am a rabid baseball fan, have been since I was a child. My Dad and I listened to games on the radio long before TV even existed.
      You know you and yours are always in my prayers. Keep up the good fight. Love you, Janet

      • Janet
        The day is coming when I will fight to stay busy. Until then I will do everything I can until I can’t. Do what you feel right now, just take care of you. And watch your bball. I used to go to the Diamondback games, but don’t like watching on tv
        love ya back
        Tonie

      • Janet, I am so impressed by what you do with your age and problems. The couch watching baseball doesn’t sound like a couch potato to me…especially with all you do. Much admiration my dear lady, Love, Sue

  18. Just a little missive
    A surprise happened for me yesterday
    In a large store here is a piano positioned which anyone can play..mostly children having a go
    But..yesterday a guy sat down. Someone who you would want to pass by quickly and surprised this well respected store let him in
    Well he started to play ..it was fantastic such dreamy music that had everyone spellbound and stopping and listening
    It was magic and a lesson in something !
    Had me thinking the rest of the day.you don’t know what’s inside people .you only see the outside really
    Yea tonie
    Tragic times and prayers

    Went to Halloween do and had pumpkin scone and scary cake,shared, but umph won’t weigh for a bit
    Chris

    • Chris, I love your share. Such talent is not always rewarded by fame or fortune but this man obviously draws much enjoyment from his talent and gifts. Thanks for sharing that magic moment with all of us. We need so much more of that in this world, especially those of us whose lives are marred by pain every day.
      Ii must ask, what is scary cake? Glad you both enjoyed the holiday. Oh yes, those scales are so scary. I have gained weight since gong on Gabapentin and only wish I could weigh while naked at the doctor’s office. Boy, those shoes and clothes can sure be heavy. Hope all is as well as can be for you and DH.
      Saw a new cardiologist who is putting me on a new drug. I’ll start tomorrow night because it has to be taken on a full stomach or it can cause nausea. Already I’m afraid of it but will give it a fighting chance. Not that I wanted one, no, but he said pacemakers are not all that effective for a fib. Thankfully for me, his mentor is my wonderful cardiologist in Portland. Must have good thoughts about this because he is here in town and well trained.
      Trip to Portland tomorrow to see rheumy and pain doc. Got to get out George’s sweater. We’re going to have rain.Love you, Sue

      • Well sue I just said scary cake as it was all decorated with scary stuff..you know cobwebby stuff,and popping candy .it was just a multicoloured sponge really
        prayers for the new drug.what is it? Your right the pace on its own did nowt for the af he had to have an ablation of a node there to destroy the heartbeat and the pace works all the time on its own
        Still has to take warfarin tho as even tho the pace takes over in part of the heart the beat is still uneven in one part. If that all makes sense!
        So good not to have to travel to see cardiologist . Thinking of you tomorow travelling and all goes well at the clinics
        I want to get an appt fir DH tomorrow at drs to change these meds. I don’t think they are good for him….see if he can be pursuaded and can get an apt!
        Well try to get to sleep
        Chris

  19. Chris, I love those moments that surprise and make you think. And, if you didn’t see above, no worries about the typos. Knew what you meant. I may have to beg everyone’s indulgence for myself as well. I just put eye drops in!

    Tonie, so sorry to hear of yet another loss of life near you. Unfortunately, yes, I was feeling pretty awful with the weather business. Coming out of it a bit now, but it was lengthy, probably due to my trip – the weather turned right after. DH was effected as well. In fact, I just got caught up here. I hadn’t had the energy to get on.

    The news is rife with this latest tragedy in NYC. I have no idea what possesses people. I hadn’t planned on handing out candy for Halloween tonight, now I am glad. I need a quiet evening. No more students tonight due to Trick or Treating. Sadie looks cute with her “costume” – DH calls it her Jester’s collar. It does kind of look like one. Kids would love to see her in it, but she would just bark and growl the whole time. That is her general greeting to everyone for some reason. Tail wagging and all! Speaking of the pup, she is waiting to be let back in the house. Catch you all later!

    • Lyn, I must wonder how many of us have dry eye problems. Changing lightbulbs all the time here. I am sorry the weather has made it’s attack on you. We are heading into a week of rain here. The sun was lovely. Jim and I got our front steps painted in a bright rose and they loo so clean, or did…while at the doctor’s today some cat got into a large pot at the top of the stairs and dug, spreading dirt all over them. Thankfully, they have dried so I swept and scattered rosemary leaves in all the plants with any dirt showing in the pot. I find it very effective to discourage cats. While I was spreading the leaves a beautiful “teen aged” deer ran across the road. Do be good to you and yep, I’ll bet Sadie was cute and yes, George is also very protective of his house and parents…us. Love, Sue

  20. Lyn
    Glad you are feeling better. My Rheumy has decided that since my “bad days” after my MTX injection are not consistent it must be a Fibro flare up. She said “no” to lowering my dosage because my numbers are so good and my inflammation down. So…. but good news that everything looks so good that I don’t go back until March. Just get my blood work done. The Enbrel, MTX, and anti inflammatory is doing the job. Prayers that it remains so. That doesn’t mean I feel great or can do all the things on the commercials for drugs. But I am some better for sure. When I think back six years how I was……
    Janet, I was going to tell you, mostly I force myself to do a lot of things I do. Like today, I would like to just stay in my Jammie’s and read. But, I have to cut the dogs hair and bathe them both, and a number of things outside that require my attention. And I am sure the Frenchman will “bellow” for my help soon in finding something or assistance in his repair works. God bless him, he has done so many things I could not since he came back. He loves it here and all the work as well. This afternoon he is helping Judy with repairs as well. We had a good day with her yesterday. If she and Mary’s husband could get some sleep. Neither eats well either. So still pray for them.
    Hope you are feeling better Sue.
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, sounds like Judy is home? What a kind man you have there. He is fitting into your life so beautifully and already beloved by your family…obviously. It’s good he likes to stay busy. I’m sure that helps his health to work so much and be so hardy. It is a major blessing that he doesn’t expect you to keep up with all the actions but knowing you, you try. Sounds like a good appt with your rheumy.If the current combination is working, she’s right, so keep it up. I see mine tomorrow and the pain doc…first trip to Portland in four months. We will have rain.
      We had a quiet halloween which is how I like it. So many of the kids here go to certain neighborhoods without all the hills to climb in the dark or to the malls or outlets. The little ones get treats downtown.
      As i mentioned, saw new cardio guy today. Don’t know about the new meds just yet. Thank the Lord I have three very caring female doctors…I wonder if it takes the fair sex or if it is just my circumstances? There has been so much going on around here with doctors, getting the house ready for winter and fixing up the new den…whoosh. I painted Dad’s old wicker rocker and it’s in the den now along with a new loveseat/sleeper twin size. I like the look so much. Sure does change a bedroom. Plain off white curtains from Country curtains catalog. I don’t sew like I used to. By the way everyone, Country Curtains is going out of business so everything is on sale now…after I bought mind, of course.
      My prayers and concerns for Judy and Mary’s sweet old husband. What a great deal of stress they have been through and know it will take time to heal, bodies and hearts. Love to all, say a prayer for safe travels for all three of us tomorrow, please. Sue

  21. Morning all
    Yes, Sue, Judy is home. Depressed and overwhelmed with all the things that have to be done at home. But she is dealing with it. I pray your trip today will be good and no extra pain involved. Your new heart doc sounds like a keeper, just for his mentor. Here it is unseasonably warm again. I have a little hen who is in the process of passing on. Bernard wanted me to kill her and I wanted him to. I told him just to let her go naturally. I can’t kill them. She is old I think. Sometimes they just go. But sad all the same. We are surrounded by sickness and death in our world and the natural. I have an older horse , older dogs, and they too will pass. Maybe me first ! You never know.
    Yesterday I worked with Mrs Blair. That lady never stops until the evening when she can no longer go. I hope to be like her.
    Yes, Lyn, and Sue. I have dry eye problems as well. I got new drops the other day. I saw the gel ones. Has anyone ever tried them ? I hesitate to buy them at $15 if they are no better than regular drops at $4.
    Well, going to swim today. Frenchman is in working mode and is working out here. He is , cant think of the word, but a person who when they think of something to do, it must be done immediately. if not sooner. One thing to another to another. Good, but he cannot focus of anything else until it is done. Compulsive ? or Obsessive ? Any way good thing for me, lots getting finished I wasn’t able to .
    Okay, must get going, late start today.
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, SO pleased to hear Judy is home and can start getting busy there with much to do. That will be a lifesaver for her and help her work through her grief. My DH is just the opposite of your FM and needs a lot of motivation except when it comes to washing our cars. Then he is all gung ho. He still misses the rush and busyness of his job.
      My trip to Portland was yesterday and all went well. PIcked up a new med, got refills on others and had good visits with both the rheumy and the pain doc. Not much new to tell but they both agreed I need a PET scan to determine where and if there is bone cancer. They both believe there probably is because of the CT scan but also want affirmation. The trip in was frightening and horrible. It was pouring rain so much I couldn’t see the road. Thank the Lord that Jim has good vision. It rained so hard we kept hitting enormous puddles that made such a loud cracking sound beneath the car. I dreaded the trip home in the dark, late, late afternoon and even asked Jim if perhaps we should stay over but thankfully the rain home was light. The highway we take into Portland is very dark with forests on both sides, no streetlights. George was tired when we got home and snored all night, well, half the night.
      Yes, I have tried the gel drops a few times and don’t like them at all. They must be used when you are going to bed or not planning on reading. They leave your eyes goopy. For the first fifteen mins. I couldn’t see at all. I stick with two RX’s and over the counter artificial tears.
      Exhausted today, both Jim and I, still rain through the weekend but we must get to the supermarket sometime. Den I’m creating is almost finished. Rocker painted and I ordered a small storage ottoman for my feet and for storage. Now the fun begins getting files moved a bit and straightening up my closet which is a fright. Like everything else, it will get done slowly but eventually. Hope you are getting some much needed rest you need after the last two weeks. Love ya, Sue

      • Sue
        Hello dear friend. So sorry you have to suffer that long trip. When will you be getting the PET scan ? That sounds scary, and if it is bone cancer, then what treatment ? Prayers, of course, as always.
        We had rain all day yesterday until last evening. We are trying to resurrect Bernards phone he insists he keep. A tracphone, and I am ready to run over it. There is no service here to connect it. We drove to almost Wytheville to sit under the tower and it still doesn’t connect. So I have to call them back today. Spoke with deeply accented people yesterday for 45 min. Today I will ask for a US call center !
        We went to a place in Galax to eat last night. New to us. Galax Smoke House. It wasn’t what I expected, but very good food. Just a neighborhood place. Paper plates and all. But they had a singer, blues , and Frenchguy had his ribs and beer so he was full and happy and the dogs were satisfied with their bones.
        We lost a hen to some sickness. Poor thing. And Bernard is convinced Sweetie should not be ridden anymore due to her pregnancy. He thinks she will foal either later December or Jan. We just do not know how far along she is.
        Okay. Off to breakfast and then church. Had my cuppa in bed now have to get up. Unfortunately.
        Love ya
        TOnie

  22. Chris, You can see my note to Tonie on trip. The new med is called Amiodarone. It’s supposed to take care of all that is going on. We will see. I’m a tiny bit skeptical and haven’t started it yet because he cautioned it had to be taken on a full stomach…not just my usual morning bottle of Ensure. Wanted to wait until Portland trip over. DIdn’t eat dinner last night but in between doc visits yesterday we went to our favorite hamburger joint in P. It’s called DICKS. They have very innovative burgers and special salads and soups. You can get almost any kind of meat in your burger you can think of. They have pictures of famous guys named Dick all over the walls. They also have a local selection from all the breweries, and there are many, of beers of all types. I would have loved a cold one but with the metho. and the Gabapentin, can’t do it. I will start it , the new drug, tonight.
    We also talked about another ablation for me but he cautioned the ones in the atrium were more complex because they had to go through tissue to reach it, not just a straight line or wire like I had before. We will try this first but I know my gut and, well, we will see. Seeing my internist next week to check INR, etx. Such a drag all of this is. So much fuss over one little old woman….
    Your DH must e a patient man or is it just how we all are…we just want to survive.
    Pleased you ha such a good holiday time. Resting here today with rain a plenty. Love, Sue

  23. Yes sue good you are having your inr checked as amioderone wiil affect that reading
    Dh was on it for a while ,of course he had ,as he would do ,unusual side effects so they did this anodal ablation on him to stop the heartbeat transferring thru .hes still in af in the botttom chamber but the pace does the top bit .it was a very easy op as was the pacemaker put in a few months before .both done and home next day
    Glad it went all ok in Portland except the weather !
    I must lookup dicks it sounds good
    Cold here tonight gives it down to freezing tomorrow night
    Chris

    • Chris, this whole health business is just so overwhelming as both of you know quite well. Today, tired from a journey yesterday in awful weather, need to go shopping but can’t seem to move. I get so tired of discussing it with my nurse husband and know he must tire of it also but who else? I’ll be sure to let you know about the med in a few days I should have an opinion. If I do have to have an ablation, I surely will not have it here where, if there were any complications I’d be stuck with that terrible hospitalist I had in Aug. One day at a time right now. L knee is another concern as it is still bad and no help for it from the shots. Jim thinks I should go into Portland to see the ortho who did his knee. He is a knee specialist but there we are, back to traveling again. I think I will just try to put it all out of my mind this weekend and relax and pretend I’m healthy.
      So, the cold is hitting you all. We were at 42 with rain on the way home and they are predicting a hard winter for us here in the NW this year. Each of the docs I saw yesterday made appts. for February both saying they didn’t want me to have to travel those roads out here in the dead of winter. It’s like two different worlds up here between the seasons. Do take care and let me know how you are feeling, okay? Love, Sue

  24. Sue, glad this latest trip is behind you and hoping the med agrees with you and does its trick. I suppose we shall see. I hate that you are so far away from good care. Wish it weren’t so. At least you do have a few good people close by. It is cool and damp here today. I think we’ve had our last nice warm day for a while. My body has not been enjoying the changeover. Take care, friend.

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