Blooming From The Heart

Spring has sprung. Bulbs are popping out of the soggy ground, peeking out of snowy mounds in some parts of the country and the neighbor’s cat has that certain look in her eye. The poets of old tell us in the spring a young man’s fancy turns to love. Since I am neither young nor male, I can’t really verify that. I do know this as the time when nature enters her cycle of new birth and rebirth. Young chicks and ducklings are pecking their way out of speckled shells, breaking through to a world that will astound them. Bears are coming out of hibernation, undoubtedly hungry and in need of a shower, yawning…if bears yawn and probably needing to brush their teeth. Talk about morning breath. Logically if they desire all of those things, they could achieve all at once by finding a nice, chilly, flowing river full of salmon and jumping in. Isn’t nature wonderful?

For those of us who live with chronic pain or constant disease, we are wondering. Do I have the strength to do this spring trip bit once again? I know we desire the warmth of the sun, the cleanliness of the spring breezes but where do we find the strength to rebloom and to follow this cycle again? Most of us are tired, worn, chilled and wondering when will tomorrow’s strength arrive? Our expectations are basic, our desires practical as we search our hearts, minds and test our bodies in a challenge of sorts.

Have we grown accustomed to settling for less as we settle for desiring the simple things in life like taking that next breath, living one hour or one day without pain or finding the strength to face just a couple of hours of the demands of domestic life that are always calling to us. Oh dear, the sun is shining and each ray uncovers a dust ball, a spider’s web hidden by the dark of winter, or a window splattered with the dust from wind and the dried drops of rain. I have found tiny ants returning to frustrate us in the kitchen, flies buzzing to come in at the screen door and our early search for fleas in the yard before they find our tiny Yorkie and torment him.

Our memories can often torment us if we think too long about all that we once could do like heavy gardening, traveling or just sliding down a grassy knoll with our children or grandchildren, laughing because we each have green slime staining clean jeans. Some of us have lost our childlike wonder at challenge upon challenge and now dread what must be done. Spring with signs of renewal and rebirth also bring about a new series of responsibilities to face as weeds pop up, those swinging spiders and spring cleaning. I used to wonder why it was always called spring cleaning until I figured out it is because the sunlight and clues from nature make it impossible to ignore what we could ignore in the dark, cold days of winter.

Each of us have to decide for ourselves what we are capable of, what dreams we want to fulfill and what is important to us. A rebirth of thoughts, challenges and hope also spring forth in all of us, forcing us to get up, get out if we can and do what brings us joy. What will it be? A new yellow rose planted outside the window, a few seeds of herbs pushed into damp planting mix, a trip to visit loved ones? Each of us are being called to stop, review, renew and make decisions. Some will be sad as we are not as strong as we once were or there is some new challenge to surmount. Others are just practical as life moves on and those around us grow older, aging old friends or children going off to college summer courses or new jobs, never to be quite the same children we loved and always will. Other practical matters will present themselves as we see chores we cannot ignore, some pleasant and some tiresome toil. Nature actually speaks to us in the form of a robin perched outside a dusty window, or a young potted plant reaching out white, creeping tendrils begging to be planted in soil so they can “take off” and live the life they were destined to become. A plant’s expectations are basic also. Give them fertile soil, a bit of water and an occasional haircut and they will thank you for the length of their cycle, whatever that may be. Others, like primroses will surprise you and pop up each year, like the proverbial ferns we have growing all over Oregon.

Renewal comes for nature but will it come for you and me? It could be up to us whether or not to answer the knocking at the door. We may be weakened by the many forms of misery we have experienced but are we nailed to the floor? I don’t think so because you and I are still alive. I often wonder, can you scrub the human spirit, vacuum it, polish it or Windex it to let life shine in?

It only takes one spark to start a fire and begin its roar. It takes just one root looking for nitrogen to grow into a plant. A wee babe begins as a fertilized ovum and grows into a human being. I always find it amazing and life affirming to see the power of growth, cell upon cell, multiplying, dividing and building life. This theory applies also to chores and varying tasks. One window washed, one cupboard sorted, one bag of used clothing for a charity can begin as small tasks and end there for this day. Tomorrow brings new energy for another tiny task.

There is a tiny primrose on our back porch, returning for the fifth year. Covered and protected by wilted brown leaves, it waits and is already revealing tiny pink buds showing eagerness to have a taste of sunshine so it can leave its enclosure of leaves and grow larger with each day. I wonder if we have a tiny bud growing within our spirits and painful bodies? Once again, an effort is required by us. Since we aren’t plants, bears or chicks, we have to choose to move, to reach out, to clean, to smile and yes, to be happy.

I suspect each of us have the bud of a dream if we can summon the courage to look for it and acknowledge it. It is far easier to give into the darkness of lethargy and pain than to make an effort but there is life at the end of that effort…that is the reward. Consider it the carrot on the stick and the ring above the carousel horse.

We each must decide, are we alive or are we dead? Can you be a little bit dead? I think you can, but that means you are also a little bit alive. In early spring when I work in the garden, which is really just many pots sprinkled around my porch and deck, the question is always there after winter. Is this plant alive or dead as I prune away tiny dead branches and brown leaves? Is this brown stalk alive or dead as I prune the hollow brown away and begin to reach one that is alive and perhaps is already shooting a tiny geranium flower of crimson red? That plant that is experiencing rebirth is both dead and alive.

Let us agree, shall we, to look for the tiny buds of life in us and treat them with the soil of hope for renewal, the water of expectations of joy and the trim them to fit our lives as they are now. Does that mean for many of us that we will live and search while we have pain? Yes. Anticipation and hope can help that pain to fade. I can hardly wait for the farmer from Washington state who brings down a truckload of the tiniest, deepest red and amazing strawberries each day so I can freeze them, eat them and make freezer jam. The bees and I look forward to old lavender plants with a couple of new ones, bursting into pale purple bloom, releasing their fragrance into the air and I look forward to the tiny basil plants I prefer that look like tiny bushes and will last the summer growing beside a thyme plant. I love fresh pesto spread onto a fresh loaf of French bread, don’t you? I will also pick fresh bay leaves from our large bay tree that began from a small gallon size years ago, purchased at our Sunday market. I share those with anyone who wants them, so fresh, flavorful and green compared to the faded brown bay leaves at the local Safeway market.

We may not be as frisky as a kitten but we can still shake our bootie…well, once or twice. We may not reach out in new growth like the mighty Oak tree but we can stand as tall as our bodies will allow and do our best to strengthen them. There is one thing I know for certain; we each can bloom. The best and most beautiful blooms come from the heart.

56 thoughts on “Blooming From The Heart

  1. So true, Sue! It’s those little buds inside us that keep us going, isn’t it? That sometimes small ray of sunshine we hold onto in moments of darkness, the tiny seed of hope, that kernel of determination. I could go on, but best not as I am still pretty much close to brain dead from the past week. Perfect time for me to read this for that small spark of energy and reminder that even the smallest of gains is sometimes enough for it is still forward movement. Although it seemed so, my beautiful daffodils didn’t sprout and bloom in a day. Blessings to you, yours, and all here.

    • Lyn, hope you are getting that rest you have earned. I know you love performing and it is always worth the price. You know it is even at your most exhausted. It is your light, your passion and one of the many things that makes you strive as well as your sweet family. My daffodils have already faded and many trees in town are bursting into bloom. W. Love, Suehat a lot of cold you have had this year but I know those plants are staying warm under the ground waiting to be chased by Sadie. Do take care of you. Love, Sue

  2. Spring is always the season of hope. The warm sun, the green grass, seeing the babies all over the pastures. Planting the flowers and gardens for the summer months to come. All promise of good things yet to come.
    Your words hit it right on the head. We are full of those seeds of promise. And they renew themselves everyday. Even when our energies don’t reach the revved up volume of days past, we still can maintain a bit of speed and make it up the hill. The view is much better than down in the valley.
    Prayers for your health this morning dear friend. I had one of the worst painful nights I have ever had last night. Maybe from the awful storms we had. I don’t know, but it was painful. Still not very good this morning, so postponing my swim I think, until tomorrow.
    Take care of you
    Love ya

    • Tonie, so sorry to hear you had such a bad night, before last. I pray last night was a better one and today, also better. I had the morning with the doctor for my annual visit for Medicare, had much lab drawn for him and for my oncology visit on Friday. Considering how awful I feel made it a long, tiresome experience and then had the grands come over after school. I had to lie down so we watched an old favorite of theirs, DUNSTON CHECKS IN. Always funny to see a chimp turned loose in a high class hotel. Then a nap after they left then soup at 9:30. Swallowing still very difficult. I asked my internist yesterday how long it would take and he said it could take several weeks. UGH. The physical was not too extensive because he said I had been through enough lately thanks to his fellow doctors.
      I did discuss with them other alternatives for pain but he had already heard about hos expensive Fiorinal has become and we talked about how ridiculous the whole medication costs have become. He keeps urging me to take more codeine meds but….So it’s sore mouth and nose or pain all over, all joints. Since I have had to stop the NSAID’s life has become more difficult. I am grumpy and teary eyed lately but know it will change as this misery of the esophageal spasms and the damage from the four biopsies heals. Rough times for both of us right now.
      Interestingly, I love the two lab techs I see at least monthly if not more and had a good visit with them. Got call today that lab work is all amazingly good except for good old cholesterol and a low B12. Will take 5000 mcg. of it now. No statins for me. No thanks.
      Kids had a great time at Disneyland. Now all preparing for trip to GS’s wedding in VA and DC tours.
      Sure hope that fella of yours gets to come home soon and Sweetie is doing well. Love, Sue

  3. We all seem to be waiting for spring
    Tonie
    Hope things got better as the day grew
    Lyn good to hear from you and your right daffodils didn’t grow in a day..so small steps
    Sue
    Lovely blog I so can go with it all
    I went to the coast today..didn’t think we could as dh has my cold now….but we did.that was a big step I didn’t think we’d do
    But when down I keep thinking I’ve got better before and surprised myself
    There’s that seed of not just hope but a knowingness of the past
    It was beautiful
    So for me little steps tomorrow as I will and dh be feeling it then and I’ve got loads to do
    But wish I didn’t get so bored doing it!
    Well gonna have a rest now just got back
    I do hope you are better sue I know what Tonie says about the third day after anything….it’s weird .but just get better now
    Ready for them buds and seeds to get busy
    Chris

    • Chris dear, So pleased you got out and about. That’s how it is for so many of us…accepting and enjoying peace and joy where we find it. It is my hope you see spring very soon. We are having the last bit of rain and are supposed to be dry for a whole week. That will give our plants a chance to suck up some sun.
      I’m still struggling. Sore to swallow or to lie down. Neck strain, soreness and purple still on neck but oh that swallowing. Looks like it will take awhile so that’s that. Sue will adjust.
      Hope DD is home and full of wonders of her trip to Rome. Love you, Sue

  4. Sue dear, More than any of you previous “doses” I can fully relate to this one. I wonder if you realize how much you inspire your readers by sharing examples of your life with them. I know you ignited that “tiny spark” in me today so that I will once again attempt to tackle small bits of chores until the entire jobs are complete. You lit the spark within me because I know that what you say is true. You lit the spark because the alternative is not what we want. You lit the spark because I want to have your attitude towards going forward with life rather than living my life half dead.

    If I were asked what it is I so admire about your doses I wouldn’t know where to begin. I love your rhetorical questions; I love your inquisitive mind; I love your analogies; I love your courage and attitudes. Of course, I love your writing style. But most of all, I love your kindness and desire to give. As I had mentioned once before, you are still that nurse in the crisp white uniform, easing the pain of your patients, teaching them (by example) how to live again; you will always be that nurse and will always be loved.

    Be well and pain-free,
    Phyl

    • Phyl dear, you are always so flattering. I am pleased you find any kind of inspiration in my words and experience. Many years ago, not long after I began to have so much sacroiliac pain, it was very hard to stop me. My sweet guy is not handy at all and is the first to admit it. I wanted to put a brick sideline along our sidewalk in front of our old Queen Anne home we had at that time in Calif. I knew the only way it could be done was with a big pillow in the yard to sit on and I dug out a spot, put in some sand and placed it along the sidewalk ONE BRICK AT A TIME. It took me forever, several weeks, but I found it better than sitting or lying around wishing the project was completed. I also have always been fascinated by the huge loads that an army of ants can move. Feel a bit guilty right now as I am killing them like mad in our kitchen. Spring is here for the ants and I will still use them as an example of perseverance.

      I hope your day to day life is doable for you and you have joyous moments. Thanks for your “be well” wishes but right now, going through a painful period in my throat, neck and chest, following four biopsies in the thyroid. Hoping it will pass soon but told by GP yesterday it may take a few weeks. Please remember I am also giving myself advice when I write my thoughts on the blog. I often reveal what is in my heart and mind at that time. Take care of you, okay? Love, Sue

      • Cindy, Checked out your blog to see what this is that you have mentioned here. I’ll think about it and get back to you when I feel better. Hope life is good for you right now, Sue

  5. Hello all
    It is winter again here in the Mtns. Yesterday we had a snowstorm of whiteout proportions. Today it is cold and high gusty winds. So needless to say, my body is very unhappy. Today I have to drive Judy to town to get her land taxes lowered, go to the bank, to Lowe’s and whatever else she comes up with. So it will be a complete day of it. Yesterday I took Ceasar with me to run my errands and check on the houses. We can go in some stores with me and he loves it. If I am in a hurry I have to keep him in the shopping cart, cause he likes to look at everything . Everyone is always petting him and he eats it up. Then we went through KFC drive-through and got a Go-Cup with fries and chicken. He is Mama’s helper when it comes to helping me eat. He came home and curled up for a nap. He is so active and so much the puppy I forget he is almost 12. And old guy.
    So, I am praying for your recovery Sue from all that trauma. Chris, glad you enjoyed your day at the beach. Boy do I need one of those. I have a nice big horse sale to go to next weekend, so that will be some recreation for my soul !
    Wishing for Spring
    Tonie

    • Dear Tonie, what day out for Ceasar! Bet he’s feeling like a very special boy after his day with you going all over. Hope you and Judy survived driving in the snow that I hope was melting. Did Judy get all of her chores accomplished. SO much driving in the mountains there. Sun expected here. Doesn’t seem fair I know. It’s late and I’m sitting up after eating too much halibut and chips for dinner but so good. Soreness will be with me awhile. Let us know tomorrow how you’re doing. Took on a lot considering how much pain you’ve had recently. Prayers and love, Sue

  6. Hi
    Shorty tonite
    My dd collapsed off the plane and ambulance came and she went to hospital.she had pains in chest.fainted and in and out of consciousness also limbs jerking.tested her. Ecgs and bloods done all ok
    So they said it was indigestion made worse with pressure on aircraft and her shallow overbreathing giving too much carbon dioxide
    Well she came home later and is ok…but I’m worried and told her she must see her own dr. She starts back at work today!
    As for me.the antibiotic I was on gave me a huge rash today it was all over myself big shapes red burn8ng and itching .,I rang the emergency line .she said to stop them and take antihistamines.i did up ,, till an hr ago they were getting bigger but stopped now..but sore and burning.
    So that’s another antibiotic I’m allergic to….I’ve taken it before many times as well. so there’s only one antibiotic I can take now out of all of them
    Well this is longer than I thought
    Sue thinking of you there so sore
    Chris

    • Chris, I’m so concerned to hear about your DD. Yes, she needs to have further checking. Was she on the same flight with her fiance? He must have been very worried. I do wonder if she picked up a bug or maybe a bit of food poisoning on the plane or in Italy. You know how it is when we travel. Other countries bugs aren’t compatible with our digestive systems and vice versa when they come to our countries. I pray that’s all it is. Scared you though, I know it did. Keep pushing her Mom…to get checked out.
      I also am allergic to all the sulfonamides. Unfortunately they are considered the best for bladder infections. I’ve been able to shake off many such infection in the bladder by a heavy onslaught of cranberry caps, Vit. C and another old her called Uva Ursi. Lots of water or good decaffeinated tea. Hope the itching begins to subside…Have you any cortisone cream or pure aloe vera jel? I also under stand the Benadryl will dry you out and that can be a problem for us Sjogren’s folks. Poor girl. I feel so badly for you.
      Yes dear, still having trouble swallowing everything but especially, strangely enough, thick stuff like metamucil, bread or sharp gel caps like my stool softeners. Discoloration is beginning to itch and that’s always a good sign but still lumpy and too painful to scratch. Oh this life…huh? Much love and prayers dear girl. You go an ER if that itching gets too bad or you have trouble breathing, Okay? Sue

  7. Good morning
    It is spring again here, already 65 at 10:00. I love it ! Yesterday went well. Judy and I stopped for a milkshake at Sonic, and got a free chocolate sundae which we split. So much ice cream Chris, I was almost sick !!! So sorry about your DD, yes she needs to get a follow up and not just let it go at that. As for you, poor thing, I am so blessed that I am not allergic to anything.
    Sue, good to hear you are healing. Much prayer for you friend. I am better today. I took a few prednisone for the pain in my joints, which helped immensely. I forget I have it, ya know ? ANyway, today is swim day, finally. I haven’t called Judy yet, but doubt she will want to go. Friday I have to have labs drawn at 8:30 am, so I will swim very early that day. The wind is even calm here today. Thankfully. It really tears me up when it is blowing so strong.
    Well, must be getting ready and go now. So wish you all a wonderful day. Lyn, hope you haven’t gotten more snow again. We really need spring to stay now.
    Love
    Tonie

  8. Warn here today and gives 77 tomorrow
    My rash 80pc disappeared during the night
    But bits came bac today and went ,more bits up tonite but won’t take a med
    Only if the burning on face gets too much
    I bought a large material sun hat today like an Audrey Hepburn one,it covers my shoulders too!not a straw one as that lets some sun thru
    Just right to sit in garden. Or conservatory Don’t think I’ll be brave enough to wear out tho
    Dd at work today stayed overnight in London as she has an early start..says she’s fine she knows I want her to see a dr
    Able to do some stuff in garden today and dh to take some photos for the history society .had a scone out as well!
    Yes sue her fiancée was with her and he was so scared..what a 50th for him !
    Maybe the food was too rich for her there..they walked about 6 mile every day seeing everything and of course wine ,,dunno but worried
    Sue do hope this swallowing gets better quicker than a few weeks , it’ll praos get better in stages
    Tonie
    I’m good with the ice cream now..been on my diet and don’t want it…oh but having said that I had some two days ago at the coast.a honeycomb one in a a half chocolate cone
    Chris

  9. Sue
    Well didn’t take an antihistamine woke up at 3am covered in a rash again! Great blotches
    So have taken one
    How long do you think this will carry on?
    Chris

    • .Chris, I know You want this rash to go and I also understand how much the antihistamine dries you out, eyes, throat, I Think it could take up to a week to get it all out of your system…the sulfonamides. Hope your bladder infection has cleared up by now.Take the antihist. as it’s needed. Considering the serious rash you have, but being mindful of the dryness…take it when you need to and keep watching for any breathing problems. Have you seen a doc yet?

      I woke up yesterday with the shaking chills and by evening I had a fever of 102F. Sweats duriing the night and no fever this AM. Just feel weak now. Love, Sue

      • I saw a paramedic at our Drs surgery
        I’m wondering if the rash under my breasts I’ve had for months will go with antihistamine
        Hope you are improving still ,that’s quite an infection to have Was it from the op should you see a dr?
        Chris

  10. Chris
    I think you need to take the pills until it disappears. It needs to get out of your system. Sue can confirm. I would like to see your hat, you must send me a picture. I love hats, love to wear them. Especially with my thinning hair on top. One of the neighborhood kids is all grown up and has her own salon. Saw her the other day and she says she has some thickening stuff that works for med related hair loss. So maybe , will see how expensive it is. I have tried everything else around. That ice cream sounds interesting.
    Well yesterday it was 80, today very very windy and dropping temps to the 40’s. And of course my body is telling me about it. UGH. DId go swim yesterday and Judy went as well. Glad to see her so motivated to get stronger. Today I have some strawberry plants to set out, mine from last year are beautiful and full of blooms. And I have GOT to clean my house. I have hit and missed a bit there and a bit here, but it needs a good deep cleaning. Get all the winter dust and dirt gone.
    Sue, I hope you are feeling better. I know you are still in a lot of pain. How I pray you can find something you can take for relief. The wedding is soon now , right ? I know there will be many many pictures for you. Is Jim a picture taker ? Probably not, but your daughter will I am sure.
    Well, trying to get motivated here, it is 11 am and I just can’t get myself going. But, must push on. Hope you all have a lovely day.
    Tonie

  11. Your right tonie
    I took another antihistamine and it went.spoke to nurse she said take it for a week as the skin will keep calling for histamine for the rash and to break the cycle..if not gone when I stop then to go back
    So a shorty as although on non drowsy ones am still tired and muscles all heavy
    Interesting about the hair loss I’ll be waiting here to hear
    82 here yesterday but gives it a bit cooler today…not good with this rash and prickling,gives it 55 next week …odd weather like you have
    Hope you got your work done…glad Judy is showing all those signs of improvement
    Yea will send pic of hat….the big one I’ll only wear in the garden. It covers everything..bit to Audrey Hepburn for public consumption for me!
    Some
    How you

  12. Tonie, Wow, sounds like Judy is better. Glad she felt like swimming as that says a lot. Glad Ceasar had a fun day out with this Mama.Blooms on your strawberries sounds very hopeful so let’s hope there is no more freezing anything…rain, snow, etc. I’ve been using a biotin based shampoo for years but can’t really tell if it works at my age but very little hair in the sink so guess it does. There is another one I use once a month to get the medication out of my hair…it does build up. Still take biotin 10,000.
    I’m going to make this short because I feel like crap. Two days of fever. 102 highest. I am pretty sure it is a flu virus. Shaking chills, crappy all over, unsteady. I don’t think it’s related the biopsy of last week because no new sore spot on neck and I saw the doctor the day before I got sick and they called and told me my labs were all good, with a couple of little exceptions. Had to cancel my oncology appt today.
    Yes the wedding is coming up soon for GS but I’ll tell you about it when it’s over or in a PM. I’m not going to announce to the whole internet that I’m home alone…Well, except for my guard dog George and a loaded shotgun. Got to go, keep making mistakes in typing.Love ya, Sue

  13. Chris, No I don’t think there is an infect with me, just the flu. Lucky me. Fever went back up last night. I wanted to add something regarding the advice I gave you yesterday and that would be to stay out of the sun…it will irritate your rash and many antibiotics do warn against sun exposure. Hope you’re feeling better and less irritated.Love, Sue

  14. Hello all
    Sue, bless you, all that trauma and now the flu ? God bless you and get you well soon. Yeah, Judy is feeling better. She is determined and fighting. She even got up early and went to swim with me. Today I a, going down to the horse sale, just a get away. Smell horses, talk to horses and people. But I am dropping her at Mary’s so she and Mary’s hubby can go out to eat. Pick her up after, or her will drive her home.
    We had another frost last night. Temp was 27’ this am. So tired of this weather. I feel like I am living in Montana or Wyoming. Still no sign of a foal. Starting to get worried she is so much past due. But B says if she is eating and functioning normal leave her be. And she is eating !
    Chris I hope your rash is better today. Send us some of that warm weather ! We got cold and rain Monday and Tuesday.
    Lyn, have you recovered from all your rehearsals and work ? How is your weather doing ?
    Well, must be doing something this am. I have been binge watching, “Where The Heart Is” love those Brit shows !
    Be well all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, I’ll have to look into that series. Don’t think I ever saw it, so will have to look into it. Surprised your mare hasn’t had her babe. Sorry about the crappy weather changes you’re going through. Hang in there, Love, Sue

      • Sue, it stars Pam Ferris from Call the Midwife, and is about nurses as well. Takes place in Yorkshire. You will like it.

  15. Sue
    Do get better soon and all over everything
    And yes i do keep out of that sun and wear a huge brimmed hat
    I can feel my face prickling if it evens senses sun!
    Tonie
    Rash has gone but on antihistamine so try another day on it then see if it’s back..pale pink areas where it was and prickling so,unsure of if it’s really gone
    Still,warm here but gives it cooler on monday
    Feeling a bit stronger now ,my arms were aching if I just lifted them up..and so weak all,over but all seems a bit better
    Just been out I garden and doing gentle stuff!
    Resting now
    Chris

  16. Chris
    Take er easy, you and Sue. SO you can get over all that has taken hold of you both. Me, I am in a semi-major flare up. Yesterday I really felt crappy, but went anyway to the horse sale. Only stayed a little over an hour and came home to lay back down. Did see a beautiful gaited mule Jinny. She sold for over $2,000. SO….maybe nice things in the future, if she ever lets go of the foal.
    B. is having beautiful weather in the 80’s, me I am stuck in SIberia !! Tomorrow in the low 50’s with rain. We are supposed to finally warm up May 1. I am tired of feeling so yukky. Even took prednisone yesterday and it didn’t help. No church today, still just so achy and blah. And when I get like this I get depressed, which I hate even more. I have so much work to do, outside and in, and don’t want to do any of it. Haven’t the get up and go I need. Perhaps when it finally warms up and stabilizes it will change ?
    Sorry for all the whining. It has been a rough couple of months for me. Tomorrow is a long day. Have to be in Roanoke by 9:30, which means leaving at 7:30. Her appointment there, then another at 4 in Radford on the way home, so must kill all that time before coming back. But do need to go to Sam’s Club and maybe Micheal’s to get a few things. We can find a few shops to browse in , but the way I feel I may end up sacking out in the car for a bit, especially with the rain. Tuesday they are having a class on Chronic Pain at the senior center here. And they want me to go. So I will try to get there.
    Well, hope you all have a beautiful Sunday. Take care
    Tonie

    • Tonie, I’m sorry. Sometimes it just piles up on us so high we feel like we will never dig out. I do think spring will help quite a bit. We are in the 60’s today and going to have three days in the mid 70’s. Unfortunately. looks like some of my new primrose I’ve been waiting to plant are half dead. I feel sad but couldn’t have done else in the last 10 days. Woke up this AM about 5 with a temp of 102.2. First thing in the AM I’ll call my doc and get in tomorrow. Don’t have a clue what’s going on. Beginning to think it isn’t the flu. Feel like crap so I do understand. Yesterday after a shower I direly needed my fingers were all numb, both hands. My cervical spine has been giving me trouble so I think that’s what it is…I shampooed, etc. Knees terrible and always miserably painful and unreliable. Life! I’ve had two major meltdowns over the last 10 days. There. That’s my bit of whining.
      P;ease dear friend, never apologize for whining to all of us. We get it and just with we had some answers for you. Perhaps if you stuck with the low dose prednisone it would help.
      I’m not sure what a “gaited” mule is but she must have been a beauty. Hope Sweetie does he bit when it warms up back there. I’ll look into that series. Yes, I probably would like it. I loved her in Darlin’ Buds of May. Hated to see her leave Midwife. Been watching season 7. Another episode on tonight. Love you much and many prayers for you to get through tomorrow. Yes, sounds like an extra pillow in the car is a wise idea. Don’t push yourself, please. Sue

      • Tonie, after the info from the other day wanted to share with everyone with thinning hair the ones I like. I use two AO products (Avalon Organics) and that’s their AO shampoo for thinning hair and their lavender liquid bath wash. Both are available in a pump bottle from most drugstores online, etc. They last forever. I don’t like their conditioner that much…greasy. The clarifying shampoo is Joico and I get it at a beauty supply if I don’t find it elsewhere. Many of you already use or know about these but never hurts to share. Sue

  17. Tonie
    I’m feeling a bit like that too it’s the weather for you and all stuff happening.and waiting for B to come over etc
    It’s the not knowing
    Long trip tomorrow and you’ve be doing a few of those
    When you get more In charge of how stuff is going it all won’t be so depressing
    Stuff happening and no control over it gets to me
    You might find out something in the chronic pain place…..
    I’m going to stop the antihistamine tonight and see if it stays away.
    Taken it four nights in a row
    Hope you ok sue with this temperature of yours
    Chris

    • Chris dear, hope the rash didn’t need the anti-hist today. That’s so maddening, I know. Fever bad today and temps going up this week. Hitting 79 one day which doesn’t sound that bad but add 10 degrees for our old home, upstairs in our bedroom. Remind you of your old bedroom? I sure hope you’re better and your weather pleasant and DH well. Love ya, Sue

  18. Sue
    I do hope you go to the dr to get these temps sorted for you
    Yea the temp in our old bedroom was too hot so I do appreciate how hot it is for you.do you have an aircon at all to move around ? We didn’t it all seemed too big and windows too high for us to use and too awkward
    No antihistamine last night and no rash by the 3 am time and still no rash at 8am…so fingers crossed ..but my skin itches and prickles..but that could be the neuropathy playing up
    I’ll see if I can get those hair products here
    Chris

    • Chris, so glad you’re getting better. I have bladder infection and very low sodium in blood. Started antibiotics today. Will write tomorrow.Love, Sue

      • Why low sodium..could it be too much fluid.its difficult with sjogrens and being dry and also cystitis
        Hope the temp goes down now with the antibiotics ,,,,did you have symptoms of the cystitis
        Dh has not been to good again with balance went to dr and he has another inner ear infection and on antibiotics.he has a dental hygienist appt tomorrow so hope he is ok with that
        Weather has gone cooler and I put the heating on today
        My rash never came back been off antihistamine two days now
        But withdrawal of disturbing dreams from it
        Hopefully gone for tonight
        Chris

  19. Sue
    Glad you have a diagnosis and now something to make you better. Take care you.
    Trip with Judy was long and tiring but got it done. All is well with her. SPine surgeon said her neck had just locked, no disc involvement. Said it would do that when you have arthritis. Didn’t know that, learned something again. Xrays all good, lung function good. So now get her strong again. My labs came back, all my functions good, glucose very low, which is good….but LDL very high which is bad. I will take Lipitor, and I ran out of REd Rice Yeast and forgot to get it again. Bu was reading where stress and Prednisone would both raise LDL levels. I eat very good, but…do need to up my veggies since B has been gone. I don’t know anything else to do. I have heredity in there as well. Appointment on Friday to review all this, and again, no meds. They make me sick, dizzy and I can’t take them. So I see an argument in the future.
    Well, off to swim and get in my house check in Galax. Have a good day all. Here it is raining cats and dogs for the second day !!
    Tonie

      • Chris, I don’t know why the sodium. It always travels with fluid and I always drink a lot of seltzer water and to have it dip so low, enigma. I just know he said it was 120 and normal is 132-3. I can’t imagine. Could be the infection I suppose. I’ve been guzzling all those nasty tasting vitamin/electrolyte drinks like mad. Doc wouldn’t even let me drink water but I must say it worked. Called yesterday to say it was now at 130.
        Sorry about DH. Do you think the hearing aid is the cause of the infection again or just not cleared up from last time? You better? Love, Sue

    • Rosetint, thank you. You, as a writer yourself, know how gratifying it is to touch another’s heart. Good to hear from you. Fondly, Sue

  20. Hello all
    Pray everyone is well and happy today. Here, the sun is not up yet, so no idea how this day will play out. ANother day of intermittent rain. Kinda limits what I can get done.
    Yesterday I had a surprise visit from my son and oldest grandson of his. Good day. It was good to spend some time together. They are too few these days.
    Sue, I pray you are feeling better. Take care.
    Prayer request please. An elderly lady from our church has fallen and broken her hip. She is having surgery today. Had news from B. He finally got a good number to call about his green card. But no one seems to know what to do. SO now he has to make an appointment with US Immigrations in Frankfort Germany. So more waiting. It seems they have never lost one in transit before. So, maybe, if he doesn’t have to wait until Christmas for the appointment, we can get some answers ?
    Another day, another half dollar !
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, what craziness with B’s Green Card. Let’s hope he’s on to something now that pans out! Perhaps there is something to Chris’s suggestion that weather is having a hand in how you are feeling. Feeling it to some extent up here, too, and we do seem to share weather patterns. Bobsled confirms at times, too. We often are affected by what comes her way up here, I know. I’m just ready for Spring to be Spring already!

      • YEs, Lyn, as you said , when It rains it pours. I know the weather is pushing me down. All this up and down temps , rain and cold. I think of you often when I see the forecast for your area. You get a bit more extreme than we do usually. But I know you are suffering from this as well. Too bad we can’t live on a tropical isle with constant temps of 80′ !! Have a great day up yonder ! lol

  21. Hi, all, checking in today for a few minutes. Sue, good to see you have some answers as to what’s been up. I hope the antibiotics kick in soon! Treading away here in this busy season. I am loving the new counters and backsplash in our kitchen. I really must start looking at paint colors and door and drawer pulls. Just got the news my little convertible is in need of some costly work. When it rains, it pours. Maybe the paint and pulls will have to wait a little. I know actual painting will have to wait. I am still recovering and have obligations upcoming. Take care, Sue, Tonie, Chris, Rosetint, everyone!

  22. Sue
    I know our dr always tells DH not to drink so much water as it takes out sodium from the body. He drinks a lot of water and keeps it to a set ammt now ..good it’s gone back up now to 130
    Hope the bladder infection is going with meds
    I think he had a cold and his ears played up,but I know the aid is loose in his ear so it could be still rubbing .he gets a new one next week
    Lyn
    Good to hear you.all the kitchen work sounds good.
    Yes you need a lot of energy for painting….you’ll have to store it up!
    Tonie
    What a rotten drag all this for you and B.
    It must be like starting all the official stuff all over again ..is Frankfurt far to travel?
    Pouring with rain here..waiting for Venetian blinds to be fixed in the conservatory .hope they fix them all straight!
    Been waiting to have these done since we moved in.the sun is so strong in there I wear glasses and a big hat.so hopefully it will be cooler in summer too
    So have emptied it all out and dust covered it
    Itching to get it all back and cleaned up
    Chris

    • Chris
      Frankfurt is about 3 hours from B. But he is looking on the internet at maybe more places he can go. So trying to get the first appointment available. So say a BIG prayer. It is hard to not get frustrated, but he is holding firm, as I have to. I feel like Romeo and Juliet with the government in between us, lol !! It will get done, just sooner rather than later I pray

      • So frustrating hopefully he can get a nearer place
        But you two are so a pair now….it’s just the sh.ts
        Chris

  23. Sue
    Hope you are doing better today. And that it is not too hot for you. It is overcast here with intermittent sun lol. But the wind is still cool.
    The lady with the broken hip had to have it replaced. So she will be in hospital a while yet. But they say she is doing well. Still pray for her.
    Did my swim today, back up to my mile and a half. Chris, my Dr appointment went well. She said the LDL levels were mostly hereditary, and not high enough for meds, yep, I told her I wasn’t gonna take em anyway, lol. ALl else is good, she said I was too healthy and sent me on my way. 5 lbs, weight gain, and I blame all the prednisone I have had to take the last two months. So now, I am off it, maybe it will go away again. Judy went to the pool with me. I tried to help her with the kick board, but she was too afraid. She can’t swim and I am trying to ease her away from her fear. She loves the water but is so scared.
    Tonight I have to go to the funeral home. One of our old neighbors has passed away. A dear lady, the mother of two kids I grew up with. THey had a big farm with horses, so I spent a lot of time at their house. Ate a few meals at her table and knew her well. She was an asset to our community. So sad for her kids. But, one must do.
    Have a good weekend all. I must go feed and then get dressed.
    Tonie

    • Good news on the chol levels
      Do you feel hungry on the steroids? Or is it just fluid with it?
      If Judy just floats in the water it’s relaxing for her
      Good news that lady is doing well
      But sad news for you with your friends mother
      My blinds got put up good ,pleased with them
      Only thing is the door ones didn’t come with the wire to hold them to the door…so they put these ones up and ordered new ones….typical,they said it’s never happened before…huh…it’s me they are dealing with! But they do look nice.
      But now I got them it’s bad weather,rained all day.and gives it all weekend and low temps into next week.
      Just had a shower and put a wash on ,so just wait for that and that’s my day
      Chris

      • Chris
        Happy you have your blinds up. Makes a big difference in looks as well. Did you get wooden ones ? I had the faux wooden ones 8n my house in Az. I didn’t take them because those old windows were a strange size and the blinds were made for them. My rule of thumb is if it is going to happen, it will happen to me !
        Judy does exercises for her knees, arms and such in the water, and yeah, it relaxes her.
        Horse show today, so going to that. But need to get some work done before. Made myself a whole wheat pancake with fresh blueberries and strawberries for breakfast. I need to bake this lemon blueberry cake I found the recipe for to take to church tomorrow . It is the pastors bday on Monday. My daughters as well.
        As to the prednisone, it makes me hungry as well as the fluid. I don’t really think I ate that much more, just what I ate. That and taking Judy places and she always wants to stop and eat. But it is getting nicer out, so perhaps I can start riding my bike again. Hope you have a good evening.
        Tonie

  24. Yes it does give a different look sort of beachy
    No wooden ones would warp just there
    The cake and pancake sound good
    You’ll soon lose those xtra pounds
    Chris

  25. Well had a good time with dd…and a bacon sandwich while out!
    Went round the usual shops ,it was good to see her as I haven’t since back from her hols
    Gives lots of rain out our way and floods next 24 hrs ..joy
    Hope all ok
    Chris

    • Chris, isn’t it wonderful how our children can either rise us to the heavens or break our hearts. Glad your sandwich with your DD was so fine. Hope she is feeling better now since home. I just got off the phone with my DD and they are getting on a plane to come home…all of them. The trip went well for all and they will be home tonight. Wedding beautiful, fun by all, lots of good food and a chance to see all the rest of the family back east. All are tired. Love, Sue

  26. Tonie, How was the horse show? Hope it revived you and didn’t tire you out too much. That cake sound delicious. Hope you felt up to doing it last night but suspect you did. Glad Judy is gradually progressing. This life is certainly an uphill climb at times and oh, we’re often so tired and in pain while struggling to climb. Give her a hug from me. Hope Sweetie is okay as she is the lady in waiting.
    I’m looking forward to Jim getting home tonight and anxious to hear even more than I have heard on the phone. He has hung in there for so much walking I know he is exhausted but had a wonderful time. In this short trip for our GS’s wedding in VA, they were able to see most of the war memorials, monuments, got in the Senate and the House chambers, went to Arlington Cemetery and this morning went to Monticello. Now the flight and the drive home. Please pray for a safe trip for all of them. Love you much, Sue

    • Sue
      No horse show, was too tired and the high winds that were cold…..you know if I missed horses I was bad ! The cake is good. Have most of it back here in the freezer. Too many other sweets there, or they just didn’t like blueberries.
      They went to Charlottesville then ? That is about 3 hours from me. Monticello is beautiful and amazing that he designed and built it. Also UVA, so many buildings were built by Jefferson as well.
      Glad he will be there for you tonight and so happy they enjoyed it. The Shenandoah Valley, where Monticello is , is beautiful this time of year. So should be good pics.
      Love ya

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