CREATE OR RUST

Be creative.

I realize I sound like a dull old coot when I say I don’t care for all the “me time” activity young people are having in today’s world. I know it. I worry about the death of creativity. When we’re born we have so much potential and the development of that potential depends on so many variables. Whether or not we use our potential talents and gifts, find likes and dislikes may depend on the amount of love we receive, the attention paid to us by our parents or grandparents as well as good, meaningful teachers. As each of us learned over the years, the negative, inferior and even hostile behavior of any of these individuals can damage our young, developing world.

I think technology is amazing and believe many of the children today are more advanced than we were because of it; however, it is not a substitute for love or the nourishment that grows out of that quality of interaction. Social skills have to be learned face to face. I confess there are few things more galling to me than to be attempting to visit with children, teens or adults who are constantly texting or playing computer games. Yes, I worry about the lessons of common decency, manners and the wealth of interaction that is lost in this scenario. Recent studies on sociability have proven our social skills and interaction with others is slipping.

Watching a DVD with children is a bit different because we can still interact; eat popcorn and remark about the story we are watching. Because of the state of my health, my “kidsitting” often takes the form of sharing a good film or two. I am aware, however, of the importance of the active state of mind versus the vegetative state and try to pry us all away from the overly large TV screen whenever possible. We’re surrounded by beauty, animals and the colors of nature. The real thing is always better than the technological version. I’m reminded of the Lorax and the fake trees. I have never seen an electronic device that can simulate the wind blowing off the river, raindrops falling on your cheeks or the image of an American bald eagle gliding and dipping his enormous wings into a crystal clear lake.

Many of these same rules of growth and conduct apply to us adults who are forced to rest more often than the majority of our fellowmen. When I first became ill and could not find a cause for my acute sitter pain, it was recommended to me by an orthopedic physician that I should go to bed for a month. I was a Director of Nursing at that time and it became clear, very soon, one cannot do that particular job from the supine position. I was driving everyone around me crazy with my discontentment and boredom as well as the “elephant in the room,” my fear.

In order to keep my tush on the bed and my marbles intact in my skull, I was constantly doing needlework. I had never worked at counted cross-stich and did much of that. I worked with needlepoint, and then began quilting. I knew myself well enough to know I had to do more than reading, although I enjoyed it and always have. I needed the reward of production, fulfillment and accomplishment. Somehow I had to pass the days and nights, and TV, as much as I enjoy movies, cannot be the end all of life, any more than watching a spectator sport can make you an athlete.

I knew the “valuable” me who still lived inside, somewhere. I was more than my disease, whatever it was. It took an additional thirteen years to receive a proper diagnosis but that’s a tale of my tail for another time. I kept up the search for direction, hidden talents and enjoyment in my life. I was only 40 years-old at that time and knew my life could not be over. I felt that way for the sake of my children and grandchildren but mostly for my husband and for me.

You know, in order to create, you don’t have to be good at what you’re doing. After I began writing I realized some of the things I wrote weren’t that great but other articles and poems were. I’ve tried many other creative activities and I stink at some of them but that doesn’t mean they weren’t fun to do. We need to create for our own enjoyment and fulfillment. Sometimes I recall Margaret Mitchell who wrote Gone with the Wind. She worked on her manuscript for years and at one time had a closet full of boxes overburdened and spilling out with page after page. She never gave up. She never rusted. Personally, I’m thankful she didn’t. That massive pile of papers has been entertaining generations and also won the Pulitzer Prize. She did, however, die at the age of 49 after being struck down by a speeding car. Thank God she lived while she was alive; really lived.

Many of us have been “struck down.” That doesn’t mean we’ve been struck out. We’re still in the game but our positions have changed. We may not have vim and vigor, but we still have minds…more or less, don’t we? We may not have the ability to enter the Olympics, but we can perform some simple daily tasks even if it does take us longer than usual. We can challenge these traitorous bodies with physical therapy or by simply walking up that extra set of stairs. We may not be physically beautiful, but who cares? I’ll settle for pleasant and presentable; never forgetting cleanliness. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so they say; therefore if this loss bothers you, I would suggest you hang out with friends with poor vision.

It is of no importance if you are creative often or seldom as long as you enjoy it. Beauty carries its own reward; as does silliness. I love to be surrounded by both. Joy, productivity and pride of creation are all part of the nourishing side of life. They allow us to stand out from others while sharing with others. Discovering who we are is all too rare in this age of compromise. Don’t settle for less because you and I have already had to accept much interference in our lives. Dig, delve and search for ways to make your life meaningful and beautiful. Seek to have fun in your life.

One of the activities my youngest grandchildren and I have been enjoying lately is writing. I suspect my grandson thinks it’s too silly, but his sister enjoys it as much as I do. She and I recently wrote a story by taking turns writing lines to the story. It is the ultimate silliness and that’s why I’m going to share it with you today. I’ll let you guess who wrote which lines, okay?

THE DUCK

Once upon a time there was a duck named Mortimer.

He was blue and very shy.

Therefore he went to charm school in Paris.

He hated it there until he met a good friend, a buddy, who was a chef who liked to eat duck.

Then Mortimer changed the chef into a vegetarian.

They then lived happily ever after on kale, broccoli and carrots they took from melting snowmen.

THE END

 

I know…it’s silly, badly done yet fun. The joy was in the creating of it for both of us. Grandson only wanted to write sensible stories about Jedi Knights. His loss.

Creativity does something to you to make life glow a little more brightly and will bring your funny bone come to life. If it’s creating beauty, then the rust will surely never settle you into one unmovable position of unhappiness. The funny bone is one bone that will surely not hurt. That’s something, isn’t it? Just don’t ask me where it’s located, okay?

55 thoughts on “CREATE OR RUST

  1. Sue
    I did so enjoy this one.i know sometimes I have this curious satisfaction that comes from even doing something not as good as someone else.like maybe ..my cake baking,not my strong point ,but my flat sponge! Becomes a good sponge pudding! Even better with syrup and custard! I’m good at disguise !
    It comes on different guises……doing something I’ve been told not to..now there’s something I can’t do! and feel good about completing it
    I do like the little story at the end it made me laugh…but it does also show a closeness that you share with your GD
    I am thinking of you and how it is at the moment
    Chrisx

    • Chris dear, pleased you liked it and caught the spirit of it. Speaking of my youngest GD, well, for Christmas she wrote a story for me. She is eight years-old and very clever. It was so sweet on Christmas Eve she had me open her story first. Beth told me she had worked on it for months. It was about a hippo names Purplee who had a tea party with a chipmunk. Adorable.
      I think we all need to be reminded that life is temporal as are our actions, things, etc. The joy is in the doing.

      I assume you and many other friends here are concerned for my sister’s family due to her passing on Tuesday. They are a fine family and are making arrangements according to her wishes. She will have a simple graveside service next week. It’s over a thousand miles away in CA and impossible for me to be there. I dearly wish I could be there for the nieces and nephews but they are all mature adults with lives of their own and will be fine. I do worry about my BIL being lonely after these many years with my sister, Leona. They fell in love in highschool. I have not seen her in several years and in many ways, that makes it easier to remember the years when we were young. I appreciate prayers of comfort for her family very much. Love, Sue P.S.I your fallen spongecake sound delicious. Love pudding.

  2. Dear Sue, The picture with this blog was just beautiful. I’m afraid the blog itself brought mixed feelings. I was very much into counted cross stitch, knitting and crocheting, but because of the tremors in my hands had to give it up and to be honest I haven’t come up with something to take their place. I will reread the blog to see if it will help me come up with something else. I do love the relationship with your young granddaughter, so much fun for you both. Think of you often and hope and pray that things will get better. Have a new neurologist that I like a lot, she says that I do not have parkinsons, that the symptoms that the previous doctors took for that are really caused by 2 other conditions, I have diabetic neuropathy and essential tremors. The combination mimics parkinsons. Anyway she is coming up with some things that may help. That hasn’t much to do with the chronic pain, but it would be one less aggravation. This has been a long post for me, you wouldn’t believe how many corrections had to be made. Hope I caught them all. Love and gentle hugs for you and everyone else here. Janet.

    • Janet, I feel badly if the examples of creativity I put forth made you feel sad at all. Those were simply the things I did but there is so much more out there. The world is full of opportunities, whether we do them alone with our hands, volunteer to help someone do something or teach them how to do something. I wish I knew more about you so we could brainstorm together. Pray for an answer. When it comes, be sure to let me know.
      Actually, I think essential tremors sounds better than Parkinson’s. I know Kathryn Hepburn had tremors and always said it was not Parkinson’s and many in her family had them, also. I hope so strongly that you get some help and life can become better for you pain wise as well as in the area of creativity.

      I know how hard it is to live with both for you. Sometime we feel like a piece of metal being ground on a grindstone. At least, I know I do. The big question is whether or not we are becoming more dull or more sharp. I only know that clock is still ticking away our lives, however they may be. Thinking of you especially right now…Hope is yours for the taking. Love, Sue

    • Janet, my dh has essential tremors, too. He has a med that helps a lot, but he did have to give up doing stained glass, even with the meds, he cut his hands a lot. It’s a very annoying condition, at least for him it is. I have neuropathy in my left arm and leg, also, and I know that’s painful, even letting water from the faucet hit my hand is painful.
      Sue, I did enjoy this blog a lot. I used to have so many creative outlets, but since I had a stroke, I just have no interest. Sometimes I’ll tell myself “I’m just gonna do it anyway”, but it’s always a short lived attempt.
      I’m sorry if there are a lot of typos, I can’t see the entire line typed, so I can’t correct! More later,, Linda. Sue, I’m so sorry for your loss, and sorry you can’t make it down for your neices and nephews. I know we were all grown and on our own too when we had all the loses, but it was still comforting to have family there. But we did understand those who couldn’t make it. Hope Jim is in less pain and healing up well.

  3. Sue:
    Inspiring, is the word I would use for this blog. You know I can’t be still when sitting still. And I agree with you, I love to read, but I have to do something that is challenging. Now counted crossstitch, would make me go cross-eyed, and I haven’t the patience for it. Crocheting is my “goto” hobby, but I am quilting now, which I am beginning to really like. And of course, no pattern so I am changing it constantly. After that I have a latch hook rug I am going to do. Picked it up in Goodwill for a couple of bucks. Looks like someone started it and didn’t want to go on, so I will finish it and if I like it , I will continue on. We never know what we will like until we try it do we ? I also like to embroider and have some dresser scarves that were given me to finish. They are nice and even stamped with the colors. I am finding it more difficult these days with my shoulder problems to get things done, even typing on here is strenuous on them. But, rolling with the punches keeps us going.
    It is raining really hard here, and I am going to workout here in a few minutes, so it will be a wet drive. It really is helping me to go to the aerobics class. The hardest part is getting out of the water and going back to the world of gravity 🙂 I know I had to find something for me to take the place of my grandkids. They were the inspiration and motivation for so many things I did, and the miss is terrible.
    Prayers for you and your family (extended) Love you very much and am so thankful for your talent you are sharing with us now !
    Love
    Tonie

    • Tonie dear, apparently I got too specific regarding the sewing projects. I actually had so many, limitless things in mind. Volunteering, planting, chasing chickens, water aerobics, etc. You are always a great example of all we can do with your versatility. That’s the wonder of being individually created to be unique. I pray for traveling safety for you today in that crazy wind and rain. I’m so pleased the water therapy is helping you so much. Sure wish they didn’t put so much chlorine in our community aerobics center. My Sjogren’s just can’t take it.
      Hope those chickens are home, cleaning house for you with those built in feather dusters of theirs. George is asleep on the bed now behind the warmth of the computer, and today is a babysitting day after school. I’ve had a rotten weak with my gut and lower back. Eyes a bit better. The test will come when I’m off the prednisone eye drops in two months. Sometimes I look at my own health and body, share with all of you and your problems and wonder that so many problems can exist inside our bodies and we are still able to walk about, more or less. Battle on dear girl. Love, Sue

      • Sue:
        In bed, resting up. My jaw and ear are killing me right now. I have heat on them. TMJ. enuff said. It is calving season and I am listening to a poor cow in the pasture up the road hollering. They had a calf before the snow that had some problems and I hope it didn’t die> They will mourn for their babies, looking for them. Or it could be one in labor. Babies are so sweet.
        Ya’all pray for my pastor. They found a place on her breast last week, she had a biopsy and has to have a mastectomy, next Thursday. She is handling it very good. But I know it is gonna be hard. for her. I can’t put this on FB, cause so many people on there know her and I don’t want it broadcasted all over. So I will share with you guys and know you will lift her up.
        Okay gonna rest now. Worked out today and it does really wear me out, but I feel so good as well
        Love
        Tonie

    • TONIE, I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU ARE GOING TO WATER AEROBICS AND THAT IT IS HELPING YOU FEEL BETTER. I FINALLY GOT ANOTHER SCRIPT TO GO BACK TO AQUA P.T. IT IS THE ONLY KIND OF THERAPY THAT SEEMS TO HELP ME, AS LONG AS I GO AT MY OWN PACE.. BUT YOU ARE RIGHT..THE HARDEST PART IS GETTING OUT OF THE WATER!!! AT LEAST IT IS A BRIEF RESPITE FROM THE ACHES AND PAINS. HOW OFTEN DO YOU GO, TONIE?
      TAKE CARE,
      JO X

      • Jo, right now I am trying to go twice a week. At least. It helps so much, and I am so tired afterwards but it is a GOOD tired ! Glad you are going back.
        Love ya
        TOnie

  4. Janet:
    I am so happy it is not Parkinson and that you have a Dr who is helping you find out WHAT is the cause of all this. God is good in all His ways, even though we don’t understand why we have to go through what we do. It is little things that help us along the way. Such as sharing on here to keep us sane, don’t you think ? Such a great bunch of people who are on here. Please take care and I love the long post even if you had a lot of corrections 🙂 We can read around the mistakes, don’t worry about it .
    Love ya
    TOnie

    • JANET….I TOTALLY AGREE WITH TONIE, WE SHARE ON HERE TO KEEP SANE, GOD KNOWS I HAVE NEEDED YOU ALL THIS LAST GHASTLY WEEK……SO KEEP SHARING MY LOVE….SO WILL I…..LOVE JENNIE X

  5. HI SUE…THANK YOU FOR THE BLOG…YES AGREED, KIDS SPEND TOO MUCH TIME CLICKING BUTTONS, AND SEEM TO HAVE LOST WHAT WE HAD AS KIDS, SUCH A SHAME…I REMEMBER, MAKING ROPES TO SWING ACROSS BROOKS, AND TENTS IN THE HOLLOWS OF TREES, ETC, I GUESS PARENTS ARE SCARED TO LET THEIR KIDS PLAY OUT THESE DAYS, TOO MUCH EVIL OUT THERE, THEY MISS OUT ON A LOT, WHEN I WAS A KID, BEING STUCK INDOORS ALWAYS MEANT I WAS HAVING TO DO CHORES THAT WERE REALLY BEYONG A 10YR OLDS CAPABILITIES, SO I DOUBT IF TECHNOLOGY HAD BEEN AROUND THEN, IT WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO HAVE COME MY WAY.
    HOWEVER I LOVED THE THOUGHT OF YOU SITTING WITH YOUR GRANDS WATCHING VIDEOS AND SNACKING ON POPCORN. FEELING A BIT BETTER SINCE STARTING ON PREDNISILONE, PAIN MORE TOLERABLE NOW, AND I AM THANKFUL, DETERMINED TO DO AS THE DOC SAYS, AND KEEP MYSELF OUT OF HOSPITAL…….HOPE THINGS ARE LOOKING BETTER FOR YOU MY DEAR FRIEND……..WITH LOVE AND BLESSINGS….JENNIE XX

    • Jennie, I sent you a message on FB before I saw this. Pray you are in less pain and am so pleased something is being done to help you. I know you had reached that point when you were overloaded, over burdened and deeply discouraged. Don’t you hate that? So…let’s hope something good comes out of this. Relief, is nothing else. We can only ignore our pain for so long.Rest now…much love, Sue

  6. HI SUE….GOSH, I JUST WROTE A LONG MESSAGE AND POOF…IT WAS GONE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I DID..
    WELL, JUST BRIEFLY, I REALLY LOVED THIS BLOG AND THANK YOU WRITING THIS. IT WAS TRULY INSPIRATIONAL AND HIT HOME WITH ME. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND A NEW CREATIVE OUTLET TO TAKE THE PLACE OF ALL THE VOIDS LEFT BEHIND BY LOSS OF MY CAREER AND CERTAIN HOBBIES I ENJOYED DOING BEFORE LIKE PAINTING THAT I HAVE A HARD TIME DOING NOW.
    I LOVE THE POEM YOU WROTE WITH YOUR GRANDCHILD AND THE WAY YOU HAVE SUCH FUN WITH THEM. I AM SURE THEY THEY LOVE SPENDING TIME WITH YOU. I AGREE WITH THE TECHNOLOGY TODAY THE KIDS DON’T HAVE AS MUCH FUN AS WE DID GROWING UP. WE WERE HAPPY TO PLAY OUTSIDE, PLAY HOPSCOTCH, TAG , ETC. I SEE MY OWN YOUNG NEICES AND NEPHEWS WITH THEIR FACES DOWN TEXTING ALL THE TIME EVEN AT THE DINNER TABLE. IT IS CRAZY.
    AGAIN, I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LOSS OF YOUR SISTER AND MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU. I LEFT YOU A MESSAGE ON THE PREVIOUS BLOG.
    HOPE YOUR EYES ARE CONTINUING TO IMPROVE SOME AND JIM IS HEALING AND ON THE MEND. I DON’T THINK I MENTIONED I TOOK A FALL IN MY HOUSE 2 WEEKS AGO. YIKES… I COULDN’T BELIEVE I DID THAT. JUST WHAT I NEEDED ON TOP OF THE SHINGLES. BUT AT LEAST THE SHINGLES ARE SLOWLY DISAPPEARING ALONG WITH THE ITCHINESS AND BURNING PAIN . I AM GLAD AT LEAST I FELL IN MY BEDROOM ON THE CARPET. I SEEM TO AVERAGE ONE FALL A YEAR… I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY MY BALANCE IS SO BAD. GOING TO A NEW NEUROLOGIST IN A FEW WEEKS WHO I HOPE CAN GIVE ME SOME ANSWERS AND NOT JUST WRITE OUT A PRESCRIPTION.
    TAKE CARE, SUE. MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AT THIS TIME.
    LOVE YOU, JO XXX

  7. HI EVERYONE……..THINGS ARE A LITTLE BETTER NOW, BUT I CANNOT STAND UP STRAIGHT YET, I LOOK LIKE THE OLD LADY WHO LIVES IN THE SHOE…….OR WITCHIPOO. BEEN A ROUGH FEW DAYS AND VERY SCARY, BUT FIGHTING BACK AS YOU HAVE TO….AS USUAL I AM MORE WORRIED ABOUT MY KIDS, TIM HAD AN X-RAY ON HIS CHEST WHERE THEY THOUGHT THE BLOD HE WAS COUGHING UP CAME FROM….IT WAS CLEAR, SO THEY NOW SEEM TO THINK ITS COMING FROM THE STOMACH, SO YET ANOTHER CT SCAN TO LOOK FORWARD TO. I THINK CLAIRE IS GETTING FRUSTRATED WITH IT ALL, SHE HAS NEVER BEEN ILL SO FINDS IT DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND…..I HOPE THIS DOESN’T AFFECT THEIR RELATIONSHIP, AS THEY HAVE PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO BUYING A HOUSE AND BEING TOGETHER………THIS IS WHAT I AM PRAYING ABOUT NOW, AS WELL AS THE HEALTH OF ALL OF YOU ON THE BLOG, MAY YOU ALL FIND PEACE AND HAPPINESS THIS WEEKEND……MY LOVE……JENNIEXXXX OH YEAH, AND A HEAP OF HUGS………………………………..X

    • What a beautiful “spring=like” day we are having here in Va. I have the doors and windows open and am doing my dreaded house spritzing today :(. Laundry and floors. I declare I think the bugs nest outside your door invisibly until you open it. Already killed my first wasp and two flies this am just opening the door for an hour or so already !!
      Prayers also for my son’s drummer in his band. He is the one DS was going to donate a kidney to last year, but was disqualified. Well he is getting his kidney today. Pray it will not be rejected as he only has the one. So much sickness and troubles and trials ain’t it ??
      Jennie, prayers for your boy and his sweetheart. If she is committed to him, she will see it thru. It is frustrating for we who are going thru it.
      Hope and pray everyone has a wonderful blessed day.
      Tonie

      • TONIE…THANKS FOR THAT SWEETHEART, I PRAY FOR YOUR SONS FRIEND, AND IT WILL WORK OUT AS IT SHOULD FOR HIM. TROUBLES STILL SEEM TO LINGER ON FOR ALL OF US, THIS YEAR DOESN’T SEEM TO BE IMPROVING AS MUCH AS HOPED…………….BLESSED SUNDAY TO EVERYONE……LOVE JENNIE X

      • Oh Tonie dear, you have so much on your plate and heart right now. I pray for your son’s good friend. And how awful about your pastor. She sounds like a strong woman and the latest treatments for Ca are so much better each day. I want you to know I’ll pray for her.
        Tonie, I want you to know how much I appreciate the humor you and a couple of the gals spread on here. It gets pretty grim in all of our lives from time to time…sometimes all the time and we need a good laugh or a walk on the lighter side. No matter how down you are you always have time for joy. Thank you for that. Kiss the pups, keep those chickens and Rufus in line and hug Judy. Glad your weather is picking up. Hope some of the mud and mess is drying over. With Jim being in a sling on his dominant arm, I called our yard guy to clean up poop around here. I’m afraid to walk on our slick, mossy patio and he’ll clean that up, also. Signs of spring here. Huge camellia bush is blooming and so lovely. Still raining, however…imagine that. Much love my friend, Sue

  8. Hi folks
    Not been too good.got IBS from the Voltarol
    Be back later.its 7am gonna try and get back to sleep
    Suzzane wasn’t feeing too good either after the visit to the hosp.she was disappointed too.she will post when can as she is feeling some pain and tired
    My thoughts are with your sons friend Tonie
    Be back later Chris

      • Jennie, I am so sad to hear things are so up in the air for your son. I agree with Tonie. If his girlfriend is truly in love and values him then it will work out for them. Life is no picnic and the sooner they young people realize the sooner they can enjoy what they have and find the bright spots in the darkness.
        It does seem your back is responding to the current treatment. Are you staying down as directed? If the prednisone helps then it should lead them to something even better with fewer side effects, although it’s all really legalized poison. Let’s face it, we take what helps but sometimes we have to stop it for it’s faults. One day, one problem at a time. My eyes are blurring so must close. Love you and think of you often…Look for the joy sweet lady, okay? Sue

  9. FINALLY made it to post. I had my visit with my Rheumy she asked my hundreds of questions in FRENCH – was with her for about an hour…. and I sat and answered them all. She is weaning me off prednisone cause she found I was taking a very high dose and for too long. She also took away the RA meds I was taking. Only thing left is oxycontin for pain and that doesn’t even take the intensity of the pain away. She told me she has no idea what I have cause the prednisone masks so many symptoms. She is sending me for a bone test and also an infiltration for my right thumb said it was arthrosis and I might need to be operated. She also didn’t like my last few blood tests. My white blood cells were low???? My family doc said everything was fine. I’m not sure if I’m coming or going but I do know I’m in lots of pain and very tired. Did as Chris said and just gave into going to sleep. So I’m sleeping lots , GOOD, don’t feel the pain.
    Sue loved the blog with the creative juices flowing. I know that’s how it was with my kids. Miss that a whole lot. I do have my plants and cooking that keep me going. Just not right now , these days will be hard on me but hey we all seem to be going through hard times. We will all come out of it somehow. Prayers for all of you, as I seem to have read a whole lot of my darlings are suffering these days. Prayers and angels being sent your way.
    BSL hope your trip is coming along fine. I think you will be leaving soon. HAVE A BLAST MY DEAR!
    LOVE YOU ALL TO THE MOON AND BACK. THANKS FOR ALL BEING THERE FOR ME.
    XXX

  10. Suzanne
    Maybe the low white cell count has something to do with the RH .also that could be why you are tired .
    Do you speak french ? If you had trouble understanding what she was asking that must have been difficult And frustrating. Do they have interpreters there? they do here for every language for free to use
    I hope it’s not long now to the next stage and that the weather is ok today to get that fax off
    Jen
    Catch me in sometime. You know me in and out all the time. But I can email when I’m back if you ring
    Hope the back is still improving

    Sue how you?
    Tonie. Hope things are better
    BSL
    Have a good trip..look forward to your posts

    Chris

    • YES Chris I do speak French but all those medical questions coming at me, my brain was having trouble with it all. My brain seems to be working in slow mo. I going to Fax the info now and they hopefully will call me back today. The sooner I can get this all done then the sooner I will get a call back from the Rheumy. I’m still in a lot of pain, feeling like I was at the beginning of this ordeal. Happy you are able to come and go, do take good care though.

      Tonie sweets, how’s it going. You certainly did a whole lot, cleaning the whole house. Do take care also. I haven’t even cleaned the kitchen yet. That will be my project once I get back home
      .
      Sue blessings being sent your way. Happy to hear the drops are working for you. Hope that continues.

      Later need to go Fax now.
      XXX

      • Suzanne, sorry that your appointment was so difficult for you. I had many visits at the start that I came way very disappointed, wanting answers that just apparent yet. Is there someone you can take with you who speaks French well? I’m sure you will be tired after your trip so rest and hope you get some relief from your pain.. Gentle hugs …. PM

      • Suzanne, I see you weren’t thrilled with the new doctor but did you think she knew what she was doing? Remember you’re just getting started with her. I don’t know how much prednisone you were on but she’s right about it covering up symptoms and important lab results. Hang in there dear lady and take it step by step. Like any relationship if it’s built on truth and you find trust in each other, something good will come from it. Look up sweet girl. Sue

    • Chris, Hope all in the family is maintaining the course. I know there is no perfection with the many problems. Hope your DD is doing better, and you of course. I’m facing so many challenges right now I can hardly keep them all straight and they do wear me down. Bad gut on top of everything else but we must keep a positive approach to life. We can’t all become the whining sisters…there is no benefit in that. It’s good that we understand each other so well but I’d sure like to hear some happy news or something funny from time to time..we all need it. Much love, Sue

  11. Excellent “dose”! I like the fact that we should cut our losses and get in with the business of life. Also aging and loss of function and beauty happens to all of us. It’s part of life and we should embrace those changes and adapt; never stop living your life! Thank you, Sue

    • Brenda S., well said my dear. Never say never. I know we all have stalls and recesses along the way, I’m having one now, but we do persevere and reap rewards which are difficult for others to understand. You’re right about life going on and changes having to met by everyone, not just us who have chronic illness and pain. Good to hear from you as ever. Fondly, Sue

    • Thank you Sue. You always seem to put things into perspective for me. I’m finding the pain very hard to deal with. I can barely get the dishes done. I am sleeping most of the afternoon cause I’m pooped all the time. The good news for the day is I’m going on Wed. this week for bone test and the infiltration for my thumb. Next week I will go for blood tests and once the Rheumy has all the results back she will give me a call. I might have to tell her to go more slowly when asking me questions. I think what frustrated me, is I know she speaks English cause she understood me when I threw out and English word here and there cause I just didn’t know the word in French but she never offered to speak to me in English. I always get so nervous when I’m with a doctor. Guess I’m scared I’ll forget something or say the wrong word. I did have my notebook with me though. I have to believe she knows what she is doing. She is suppose to be one of the top Rheumy’s in Quebec. She also has very good ratings. I think I found it very difficult when she looked at me and said she had no idea what was wrong with me. I almost broke down and cried. Guess it will take a while before she gets all the tests done that I assume she will have to do in order to know what the heck is wrong with me. One step at a time it will be. Just that every step I take these days hurts me. Feel like I’m back to square one. Not a great feeling cause the first 7 1/2 months I was in bed not knowing what was wrong.
      Enough! I will look up and ask for strength from God to get through this next phase. I also keep reminding myself you told me it took you 13 years before you knew what was wrong.
      God bless you Sue and thanks for being my angel today.
      love ya big
      XXX

      • Suzanne:
        Do NOT let the dr’s intimidate you, they are only human as well. Just have a bit more knowledge than you and remember they are in your employ. Take your time and ask her to take hers. I am not saying be snotty with them, but when you get over the fact that they are “superhuman” then it is easier to talk to them. Just slow her down, and ask all the questions you need to. Hang in there and let Him guide you in the right direction knowing he is guiding her as well. All will be done in good time. Love ya

  12. Sue, I did it again … logged in with the wrong email so I am in trouble and waiting moderation again!!! Sometimes I wonder what has happened to my brain, but I’m afraid pain meds may be the answer.
    Sue, I am so sorry about the loss of your sister and understand how difficult it is to be unable to travel and be present for the family.
    The memorial service for my uncle by marriage was on the weekend, but it was much too far a drive for me to attend to be with my cousins. He was a minister in the Anglican Church, so they were so busy in their parish and especially at Christmas and Easter, we didn’t get to see them as often as I would have liked, and since I became ill I have missed many family gatherings. His wife, my aunt, lost her battle against breast cancer last August, so this has been a very difficult time for my cousins. Messages on his memorial web site are pouring in stating how he, and my aunt also, had such a positive influence on so many lives, so I hope this is a great comfort to their four children.
    Sue, I appreciated this blog very much as I have been wondering what I can do to give me a sense of accomplishment, as it has been getting me down lately. I use to crochet but since I had my wrist fused, the necessary movement is impossible! A couple of years ago a friend brought me knitting needles and some yarn and thought I could knit dish clothes for everyone … well, my fingers didn’t like that idea at all. Since I had a couple of fingers fused last year I have ben able to do a bit more in the kitchen without breaking all the dishes, but my family have made sharp knives off limits, so that is difficult too! I have watched so much TV during the past ten years I hardly turn it on anymore, and I am unable to hold a book, even a paper back, so if anyone knows some good books for my KOBO I would greatly appreciate the name and author, as I find it so hard to pick out a book without looking at it. My DIL shared some books when I first bought my KOBO, but she seems to be back buying regular books again. We were at the cottage with GS and his dad on the weekend but GS was not having one of his better days so they left earlier than anticipated. I pray each day that GS will start talking soon, but I guess time will tell. Our son shared with his dad that he is very concerned about his painful joints and the possibility that he has RA, which is one of my worst fears! I do hope UC is at the root of his pain and not RA, but he does have my genes!
    Sue, I pray that the eye drops are having very positive results on your eyes!
    Must go as Granddolly has arrived for a visit while her dad takes her brother for therapy. She is a ray of sunshine in our lives, always happy and laughing. Love & Hugs …. PM

    • Brenda:
      What kind of books do you read ? I have been reading a lot more of late. I like fiction mostly and detective or mystery. BUT…I have read so much I can recommend a lot of different books. Let me know what you like
      Take care, and have fun with Dolly
      Love
      Tonie

    • Brenda, Pommum, So good to hear from you. I know what it takes for you to write in here. Thanks for your remarks about my sister. She has five marvelous, adult kids and her husband. It hurts me to know how much she suffered at the end of her life. I think one wonderful thing I have learned about loss is how the mind, our memories and sense of loss often go back to happier times and those memories sustain us. I am sorry you have also been cut off from so much of your family as have I. This whole sickness thing that prevents travel can be so isolating. It robs us of so much…that’s really why I write this blog and have for eight years..to retrieve life for myself and anyone else I can help. It’s a rough and rock road…and most of us already have sore feet, right?
      I don’t know what reading device you have but perhaps you could use a Kindle. It’s only a one finger operation and you can enlarge the print to suit your eyes. I love true history and fictional history based on real characters. I love the books of Diana Gabaldon. They are full of historical details but also have a bit of fantasy. They’re hard to explain and need to be read in order. I just can’t read anything dreary or grizzly. I know what you mean about TV. I often turn it off out of sheer overload..seldom watch the news. With 24 hour news it can be grim. We have an extensive collection of DVD’s and I do like the old ones and many of the mini-series.
      When I think of creative…you know, it can take in many things..like teaching others with problems, sharing with a neighbor in need, reading a book to kids, and many other things you don’t need your hands to do. I found writing and poetry writing but this eye business has me so frustrated. When I think of all the things I have wrong it’s almost embarrassing because the list is so long and I know you know that feeling. I pray your GS talks soon and as far as your son, you just have to leave his health in the hands of the Lord. I don’t want my kids to have problems either and truly understand that feeling but there is a wisdom and a plan for their lives that goes far beyond us. Love you dear girl, Sue

  13. Mornin all:
    Well Mr WInter has shown his face again !! It was 20′ when I woke up, not supposed to be warm again til this front gets out. SIGHH !! But, need to finish my coffee and go workout and check on the house. It is a gloomy overcast day 😦 , but the warm waters will lift me up ! Sue, I would like to get me a Camilla bush, sounds like it would be nice to look at. I finished painting my kitchen cabinets yesterday, a nice buttery yellow and it so brightens up the place. Next is my bedroom. I still have cabinets to finish, but hey, it is my work schedule right ?? I have some tomato seeds in the window sill to germinate. Found a neat thing online. Take toilet paper rolls and cut slanted in the bottom to fold together so it will sit upright, then fill with potting soil and put your seeds in to grow until you can set them out. I have a bunch I am going to get started this week as well. Take care all and have a wonderful day.
    Love to you all
    Tonie

    • Hi Tonie,I think you are right about the dr. being superhuman but when my son had an accident(and was pararlyzed) I had no problems speaking to any doctor and the list could go on and on. Part of my job was working with doctors for the children I worked with at school, had no problems then either and they were all specialists. It’s always when I’m there for me that I have problems. I think I’ve read every article I could find on the internet about RA and OA and also joined the Arthritis Society for more info. I think since I’ve been knocked down this way I have lost a big part of myself and how I feel about me. I’m still not use to the one being “sick” (for lack of a better word) I’m the one who usually takes care of everyone. I have to learn to work in God’s time huh! Thank you and Sue for reminding me.

      Love the colour of your kitchen, must feel good to sit in there. What colour are you painting the cabinets and your bedroom? Sound like lots of work for your shoulders dear lady. Happy to hear you say “it is my work schedule”.

      I also have been collecting toilet paper rolls to start my seeds. Saw it on the FB,such a great idea! I will only start end of March or early April cause we have snow until April so there is no point in starting yet. I’m getting anxious to plant my tomatoes, peppers and different flowers. I love gardening, makes me feel good. Collected my seeds from plants last summer. Will be interesting to see how they turn out. I know the sunflowers will work well cause I’ve already done that. Of course DH now does most of the work in the veggie garden and I take care of the flowers. I have many seed catalogues and sit and dream about what I will plant where. Most are just dreams because I would not be able to afford buying all the plants I would like. Nice to dream though.

      Enjoy your time in the pool Tonie and have a great day. Gentle hugs and do take good care.
      love ya big sweetpea!
      XXX

    • TONIE….YOU MUST GET YOU A CAMELIA BUSH, ITS THE FIRST THING I SEE WHEN I OPEN MY STREETDOOR, AND THE PERFUME IS FAB……….GOT SOME NECTARINE BUSHES FROM THE GARDEN CENTER YESTERDAY, NEVER TRIED GROWING THOSE BEFORE, SO HERE’S HOPING. HAVE YOU EVER GROWN YOUR TOATOES IN FERTILIZER BAGS, WORKS EVERYTIME…ALSO THOSE RED THINGS I AM NOT ALLOWED TO EAT, ARE BEST GROWN ABOVE GROUND ON SHELVING…BEEN DOING IT IN THE UK FOR AGES NOW, STOPS THE SLIMES GETTING TO THEM…….HOW ARE YOU FEELING SWEETS???? LOVE JENNIE POO XXXXX

  14. TO ALL MY FRIENDS……A FRIEND BY A PHONE CALL, A POPPING IN, A CHANCE MEETING, A SMALL UNEXPECTED SURPRISE, PUTS A LITTLE JAM ON THE DAYS BREAD AND BUTTER……AIN’T THAT THE TRUTH, WISH I COULD DO ALL THAT FOR YOU, BUT I CAN ONLY PRAY FOR HEALTH AND STRENGTH FOR YOU AND MYSELF…SUE, TAKE CARE WITH YOUR HEALTH, THINKING OF YOU ALWAYS….CHRIS, GREAT CATCHING UP WITH YOU TODAY XXXXXX JEN XXXX

    • Hey Jennie Poo!
      No have never grown my tomatoes in a sack, not qquite sure what you mean by that. You need to ‘spalin me Lucy !
      We don’t get much problem with snails in the garden here. I do know if you plant Zinnas and Chrysanthamums around the garden it helps with bugs. I can’t wait to get things planted. I have some Magnolia trees coming that I bought last year. My lilacs should bloom this year as well as the other bushes I have. I have loads of flower seeds I am going to plant in a new flower bed up near the chicken house. I will have ot put a fence around it or they will dig it all up 🙂

      Suzanne, the kitchen is beach blue, the cabinets are yellow. I have some white paint I am going to start on my bedroom with. I just paint a while and then stop and rest. It may take me a few weeks to get them done. But I do want to finish up in case I have to have surgery. It will put me out of commission for a few weeks. I did have a good swim. There was no classes today, but I swam and worked out a bit (I do the crawl, as I can’t do the overheard thing with my arms) but I did about a mile so did good.

      Take care
      Love
      Tonie

  15. Oh Tonie that sounds heavenly. Makes me want to come on over and have a cuppa with one of your delish cakes or custard, or both… LOL
    Happy to hear you had a good swim today. That always seems to brighten up your mood. Wow a mile is a good ways. Keep it up Tonie your are doing great and probably getting into good shape also. Hooray for you my dear.

    When will you find out if you will need surgery.
    Well keep going at your pace and things will go well for you. Today I said the heck with this nonsense and decided to clean my bedroom. Did that and I’m happy but now paying the price. Oh well at least I made myself happy.
    Enjoy the end of the day.
    Love you all
    XXX

  16. Suzanne
    You said that your son was paralysed . I hope that was in the past and not a current problem.i havent seen you mention it before .
    Hoping this is all ok now
    Chris

  17. Oh no Chris that was in the past. He had a four wheeler accident and the docs told him he would never walk again. He set out to prove them wrong and he did. I was with him for every physio he went to.( stopped working) He was at the trauma center for one month and then transfered to a rehabilitation center for over 2 months and then one day he decided to check himself out. He was 18 at the time, he is now 34. He broke his back and they took bone from his ribs to fix his back. Those were trying times. WE GOT THROUGH IT AND I WOULD SAY WITH FLYING COLOURS. I believe it was a miracle. He had a rock at the time and always kept it with him it said, “EXPECT A MIRACLE” . To this day I do believe I witnessed a MIRACLE.

    So sorry if this upset you Chris. I should have said this was in the past.

    Do take good care my friend.
    Love you big!
    XXX

  18. Suzanne
    What a past ,what a load of worry.but yes what a miracle. Your son is made of strong stuff! This must all have affected you and your body too….you too are made of strong stuff and this will see you thru this lot of pain too. You see
    You keep that miracle. In mind
    Love Chrisx

  19. Hello all ~

    Well, I’ve been down with a bug for about a week, and still fighting a runny nose and sore throat today. It was some type of upper respiratory infection that came on so fast. I wish it would leave as quickly as it came. Last night about 2:30 I told my hubby I was going to the couch to sleep because I was keeping him awake with all my sickly noises….wheezing, sniffing, coughing. Poor guy had to get up at 5:30 this morning, but he had a few good hours of sleep.

    I have to catch up on everyone’s comments sometime, but hope that everyone of you is doing as well as possible.

    My hubby & I are celebrating 10 years of marriage this weekend. 🙂 So glad that he’s in my life, and that God brought us together. I only wish our circumstances were easier the last few years, but that’s how life has turned out. Tomorrow will be a challenge though, for even though we’re celebrating our anniversary, it will also be his last day of work. His temporary contract will end tomorrow, so it will be a bittersweet day. It will be a test also, because I will have to chose to focus on the good things tomorrow, and not let the job ending mar our anniversary. We had planned to go out for dinner, and we decided to still do that. Pray for me, that I may have a cheerful attitude and show him my love. That’s more important than our disappointments.

    Blessings,
    Trish

    • Trish, First of all Happy Anniversary. Oh yes dear girl. The marriage is the thing…not the other things and all facets in our lives can change in a heartbeat. We can’t be swept around but have to be anchored in our faith and our families.
      I hope you feel well enough to go out to dinner. My daughter has that upper resp. bug right now and feels terrible. Her DH got over it in two days. We’re all so different in the way we respond to things, especially our immunity.
      Sounds like a trying time for you so rest when you can, let love lead you and just trust all problems change…usually better. Of course there are many of us falling apart but heck…didn’t expect a bed of roses. One problem at a time. Fondly, Sue

      • Thanks, Sue, for your thoughtful note. There are roses & there are thorns in this life. But, I do love those cabbage roses found in English gardens, don’t you? So beautiful….and fragrant.

        Hope your eyes are healing, and the same for your husband’s arm. Have a good weekend!

        Trish

  20. Tonie ~

    Hi there! I wanted to make the recipe you posted, but now I can’t find it….The one for oatmeal bars made with applesauce? Would you be able to post it again? It sounded good, and not too full of sugary stuff. ~~ Thanks ~~

    PS ~ The chill is coming our way again. Hopefully just for a couple days. I want Spring to get here already, don’t you?!?

    Have a good Thursday,
    Trish

    • Trish:
      I posted this last night but it must not of took !! Here you go again. I added extra sweetner to mine.

      Baked Oatmeal To Go
      — Instead of granola bars! Cheaper and you know exactly what goes in them! I have to make these! Ingredients 2 eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 cups applesauce, unsweetened 1 banana, mashed 6 packets of Sweetleaf Stevia or 1½ teaspoons stevia powder or use ½ cup honey 5 cups, Old Fashioned rolled oats {Bob’s Red Mill} ¼ cup flaxseed meal 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon 3 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon salt 2¾ cups milk Optional toppings: raisins, walnuts, chocolate chips Instructions Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix eggs, vanilla, applesauce, banana and Stevia together in a bowl. Add in oats, flax, cinnamon, baking powder, salt and mix well with wet ingredients. Finally pour in milk and combine. Spray a 12 and 6 capacity muffin tin with cooking spray or use cupcake liners. Pour mixture evenly into muffin tin cups. If using toppings add them onto the tops of muffins now. If using fresh or frozen fruit, drop it right into the batter. Bake 30 minutes until a toothpick in center comes out clean. Cool and enjoy or freeze them in gallon freezer bags. Nutrition Info (without toppings) Servings: 18* Calories for one: 143* Fat: 4g* Cholesterol: 25mg* Sodium: 161mg* Fiber: 4g* Sugars: 4g* Carbs: 23g* Protein: 6g* **Gluten Free & Diabetic Friendly** Recipe Source: SugarFreeMom.com

  21. Suzanne, the post that went for moderation was for you! I was hoping that you wouldn’t be discouraged with your doctor’s visit and that is why I had sent you a few messages. Many a time, especially in the first years, I too was told I had an inflammatory condition but the rheumy wouldn’t put a label on it and I always went to my appointments with hope he would have some answers and there would be some kind of treatment that would make me feel better … then leave discouraged once again. In fact it was an ophthalmologist who first told me I had the eyes of someone who had severe erosive RA, and six months later the diagnosis became apparent to all but I had been seeing my rheumy for over nine years at that point! I know Sue knows all about spending years searching for answers! Recently, just before my doctor retired, he told me that during the first ten years that I was “smoldering along” he was sure whatever was going on in my body would burn itself out … boy was he wrong! He also recently confessed that I was the one who made him realize that much of what he was taught was wrong, but there are many new thoughts out there now! I am so sorry that the French issue raised its’ ugly head. Recently a store across the river from Ottawa felt they were abiding by all the Quebec regulations, everything in the store was in both official languages, when the owner was told this week by the “French” police that everything on their FACEBOOK page had to be in French too! Someone must have complained, because I sure hope the Quebec provincial government isn’t paying someone to read Facebook pages!!!
    I can’t imagine what you went through with your son! It is so difficult to have children (or grandchildren) who are having problems. My son suffered from ulcerative colitis throughout high school and feels he never had any teenage years because he missed so much, and he too had a hard time being diagnosed. He had a lovely girlfriend who was a great support to him and her family thought he was great until they found out he had a chronic disease, and then her father treated him terribly. They went to a Christmas formal at their high school and her father took pictures of them before they left, and he cut our son’s head off in every picture … tough lessons for a young man who was very ill! It was during that time that he realized he wanted to teach school, especially children facing problems. In Canada an undergraduate degree must be obtained before applying for a teaching degree, which is required to teach all grades, even junior kindergarten. He took a few extra years to get his undergrad degree due to illness, but he persevered and I often think of him and push myself to keep on going!
    Sue, I hope your eyes are feeling better. A KOBO is an e-reader like a Kindle so I can download most authors. My taste sounds very similar to yours. I bought that type of e-reader as my DIL said we could share books and she got me started, but she doesn’t appear to be using hers at the moment. Grandson had another evaluation this week, this time at the speech department at our children’s hospital, and they were told once again that he is very bright which is good, but also very frustrating. If he is called by the hospital for therapy he will be taken out of school and transportation is not covered by the hospital, so we will be his taxi morning and again in the afternoon, so we may have a busy year ahead of us. I hope he is not called for the summer months because his dad definitely needs some down time this summer!!!
    I discussed pilates with my PT last week as I can feel my muscles getting weaker, but was informed that in no way was I in any shape for any kind of exercise program, but that a new PT program called The Liquid Gym has started in the city, and they have exercise equipment such as a treadmill and bike in a hot water pool and your program is developed by a PT so you need a doctors script to go, but she felt it is something I should look into. It sounds great, but I know the last time I tried going to a gym I was fatigued just getting there and changing, and that was many years ago when I was still working, but it is definitely something worth looking into. This past winter has been so very cold and long … and we still have two more months to go before we see any flowers in this neck of the woods!
    I must stop now but I am thinking of everyone … and please stop by me or Teddi on Facebook. He had a belated Valentine photo shoot today. As far as being creative I am still looking into a photography course, cause I can still push a button!!!
    Love and Hugs …. PM

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