It’s the love month.  What better time to chat about love? There is so much to say on that subject and so much of it is lovely, enduring and brings joy to our hearts. We know poets write about love, mothers love their children, we say we love life, we love a piece of clothing or we love a pet and it goes on and on. Valentine’s Day is usually sweet love as children exchange Valentines. However the bulk of cash spent on Valentine’s Day is about romantic love as billions of dollars are spent on chocolates, flowers, cards and romantic dinners.


Love in the modern world is split between the realities in the world of homo sapiens, that’s us and the world of homo fictus…imagined love. The type of love that’s found in the world of fiction is so ideal; it can make your teeth rot, because it’s so syrupy and dipped in sugar. Fictional love is a perfect size four, has flowing fair locks, firm yet heaving bosoms, a voluptuous tush and a mercurial personality. So much to put into one little package, but on a computer all things are possible. Her name is something flowing like Dazzle, Radiance or Chastity. Her heaving bosoms are so large, in real life she would surely fall forward. Her male counterpart is tall, but gentle, muscular to the extreme and appears rough on the exterior but has a mushy interior.


The story is usually the same format. Their lipid eyes meet. Their juices immediately start to flow as they experience love at first sight.  Then something occurs and they begin to hate each other due to some seemingly immovable object. She looks ragged and abused as her distress would indicate but secretly she is secretly rich, or royal and always classy; and has the soul of Mother Theresa. Our heroine is, of course, always a virgin or has had sex only once when it was forced upon her by some cad while she was loaded with Laudanum.  Of course she dresses in a way which displays all of her equipment, this virginally pure lass with the high ideals and the flawless skin.


The fictional “he” is usually crude, charmingly rude and hairy. His chest hair swirls around and is almost as long as the hair on his head. His name is usually something like Gore, Dirk or Bronze. He has usually fought his way through some danger, leaving his fortune and huge estate behind, where it can of course, be retrieved by the end of the tale. He always has an acute sense of humor as well as the skills of a Special Ops marine.


The two of them must deal with some vicious scoundrel who is out to get her into his bed, secretly knows about her fortune or is just plain rotten to the core. The hero and heroine must overcome impossible odds and realize in the midst of the smoke and gunfire or swordplay they truly are destined for each other. Tantalizing, provocative and endlessly frustrating love is found, love is lost and finally reclaimed and shines triumphant.


Most of the tales deal with unresolved passion…at least until the last fifty pages or so. The story is all foreplay, foreplay and more foreplay. Even on television series we lose interest if they “get it on” and we lose the suspense. When our homo fictus characters do finally culminate their union it is always lusty, incomparable and bells always ring for them, nobody burps or farts and they always fall off the mountain together. Their body odor is sweet, musky and wet with desire. “It” is repeated over and over with the same abandon that would surely land a normal human being in the local cardiac unit or end in someone’s arrest.


We are in a lot of trouble in real life when we are slammed by crisis, health problems or trouble. If our idea of romance is that I’ve spoken of, we come crashing to the ground. For most of us that would hurt. People like you and I, have globs of fat, sagging thighs or something sagging, thinning hair and have far less sex than the homo fictus if any, at all. Real men belch, have to shave their necks, forget to wash their ears and use a toothpick. Real women work hard for “natural beauty,” have stretch marks and have trouble breathing in most of the positions in the Kama Sutra.


Real love takes place in your home and mine or down the block. It occurs over burnt toast, worry about the electric bill and feeding the kids. The house is cluttered because there is no maid and the butler? Well, give me a break. The dog just puked on the rug, the kids are eating the goldfish and the TV is on the blink. It is small wonder 50% or more American marriages end in divorce. The main causes are financial trouble and romantic disillusionment. Too many of us mistake sex for love.


When our lives are further complicated by illness, especially chronic illness with no end in sight, reality slams us in the tush like a runaway train.  If you and I can survive the dive to earth, real love can be so much satisfying than the fictional, Hollywood version. One is fleeting and one is not. If you or your significant other can’t handle hard times, then love may not have been there at all. It may also have faded away. Sometimes it takes time and adjustment. Other times it requires counseling but always it requires faith in each other and the type of love that is enduring. Oh come on, you wouldn’t have wanted Mr. Homo Fictus; well, maybe at first but only until you found out he loves his mirror more than you. As for Ms. Homo Fictus, unless she gets run through by a sword, she will eventually run out of enough make-up to hide illness or age.


True love is tested over and over again in this world. Love is always a two-way street. There will be times when you are overweight or ill or both. He may have his turn as well. Look at so many of those heroic young spouses and their amputated and maimed veterans. Life has changed forever for them, as well as some of us.


There will be times when his relatives and friends will drive you crazy and other times you will also wish you had been adopted. There will be days when you can’t rush home from work if you’re able to work, cook a gourmet dinner and serve it in a sarong and ruffled apron. There will be other days when he won’t shave, has more gas than Texaco and insists on wearing that ratty old plaid, stained shirt. You know the one with paint stains on it?


Remember whatever life throws your way it is better to be loved for what you are than for what someone wants you to be. Genuine, lasting love will stand up to challenges and will endure.




112 thoughts on “THE TRUE VALENTINE

  1. Chris, hope all goes well to get those pads. Sending prayers and angels your way. You have a whole lot on your plate right now, please go easy, and remember to take care of you also.
    love ya

  2. Sue
    Thanks sue
    I think they have tried a larger catheter ,but apparently that hurt…but I don’t know if they tried the larger Ballon with it…I wil ask the nurse to ring me when she comes to my dad
    Well I managed to get the free incontinence stuff for him.they will send some sizes in post.he then decides which size is better and how many a day…I will ring and say and they deliver themselves 12wks supply for him to his flat. He was pleased with that as they are bulky to buy even on his scooter and free so that’s a bonus
    He went out on his scooter today still leaking,but wearing pants ,but it was a lovely day today.his short term memory is so bad and he gets so confused.but he Enjoyed getting out
    Anyway thankyou for all your kindthoughts

    DD has had a bad cold too and left with swollen sinus,s. her nose is nearly twice it’s size,on antibiotics and steam stuff,she is off work

    Funny you should say about pulling catheter out
    When he was in hosp a year ago,before the last one one in october ,they had him with a catheter in fr a shrt while and where they put the tube ,in his sleep he got his leg caught on it and puled the thing out
    He was in pain and it was bleeding for a time…..I wonder would that have caused this problem now?
    Ok be back

  3. Chris. dear prayers for you and your dad. It is so hard to see them become helpless. Mine didn’t live that long, but with my mother’s cancer, she did become helpless. I pray they find the answer to his problems.

    Sue, hoping you and Jim are getting along ok, and you haven’t had to hit him in the shoulder 🙂 I went for my MRI today and so proud, I did it without a nerve pill. Lots of prayers though 🙂 I was fine til she turned off the music and said she was done. Then it seemed like it was 3 or 4 minutes and nothing. I was about to panic ! But all went well, worked out, then to Walmart, then to the feed store, then to check on the house. There I collapsed, had a cup of coffee, and watched a movie. Then came home. I am very tired, but it is a good tired. Rest tomorrow and work out again on Friday !!

    Jennie, hope all is well. Lyn, Suzanne, BSL, and all the rest of you. NanaB and you readers and not talkers, My prayers for you all
    Love to all

  4. Tonie
    Good for you,I remember you said last time you were nervous about the scan and in that confinement
    Well gona try and get some sleep,difficult laying in bed
    See you all tomorrow ,unless I don’t sleep chris

  5. Evening all of my dear friends, I am sorry for being AWOL today but it’s been one of those days I have been on the phone a great deal and needed to write the new blog for tomorrow. My sister Leona passed onto the next life last night. I got the call from one of her daughter’s this morning. Leona was a nurse, wife and the mother of five. She also had the same condition I do, relapsing polychondritis. She has lived with misery for many years and is now, finally at peace. May I ask prayers from all of you for her family, especially her dear husband of 61 years. She was my eldest living sister since we lost our eldest due to complications of psoriatic arthritis several years ago. I am the baby of the family. I have sister who is still living and suffering. Each of us four girls had inherited Dad’s genes for rheumatoid problems. She reared a great family and will of course, be deeply missed. Thanks dears, see you tomorrow. Love to all, Sue

    • Sue…am so sorry on your loss of your sister. Prayers for you and the whole family at this sad dufficult time. I am happy your sister suffers no more. Like Suzanne said we are sad for ourselves that we no longer have them here with us.
      Please take care of yourself. You have had a lot to deal with lately with Jim ‘ s fall and your own health issues. Prayers for comfort and peace to you, my friend. Love, JO xx

  6. Sue
    I am so sorry to hear of such news sue.of course prayers for her fine family. Also for yourself.please take time out for yourself and don’t rush to do anything we all understand ..ok
    Thinking of you with such news and how you are at the moment love Chrisx

  7. Hya
    Just to tell you that Jennie will praps not post untill tomorrow as her back has become worse.she had lost some feeling in her legs and pain as after going to the dr. she is on prednisone and resting. So maybe jen won’t make it up that wooden hill and sit by the computer till they kick in. She as been told to do nowt but rest ……tall order!! But as I say she is in a lot of pain so may not have a choice
    Ok folks back later

    • Dear Sue, prayers for you and of course your whole family at this sad time. I believe we cry for ourselves, our loss cause we know that our loved one has gone onto a better life without pain. Thinking of you and her husband and children. Must be so hard for them. God bless you all.

  8. Sue ~ My condolences to you for the loss of your sister. Will pray for her family, and the difficult days ahead. May God give comfort all around.

  9. Sue, prayers for you dear lady, and your sister’s family as well. May God provide the comfort and peace needed at this time.
    Love you

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s