Now there’s a title I didn’t think I’d ever have to write. There is something frightening built into that word…cancer. Yes, my friends something else has been added to my already overflowing repertoire of disease and that is breast cancer. Frankly, I am surprised because there has never been any cancer in my family; in Jim’s family yes, but not mine. So much for that theory.
Another theory I have just debunked is that if a breast lump hurts it isn’t malignant. Apparently we have to flush that theory down the toilet as well. A few interesting things have occurred along the way which I want to share with all of you. First of all, when I went in for lab work a couple of days before the biopsy, I had this news of the impending prodding and poking on my mind as I waited in the lobby and when I sat down, there was a Gideon Bible laying on the table in front of me. I don’t usually believe in Bible roulette, you know, poking your finger in there to find a verse, but I was curious which book of the Bible was open and waiting for me.
I was comforted to find Psalm 27, David’s Triumphant song of Confidence. It is so beautiful and comforting I urge you to read it for yourselves. It was a gift, I felt, for me about putting my safety and my trust in our Lord and spoke of victory over being assailed by the enemy. It concludes by urging us to put our faith in God where we will fund faith and comfort.
The next planned thing for me was the pain in my ribcage. Due to my disease of relapsing polychondritis, I have some very bad cartilage on the right side of my chest and after lying on that side, propped up for an hour and a half with my left arm over my head, it hurt terribly. I was convinced I had a fractured rib and when I made the appointment to see my family care doctor yesterday to have it checked, she said she would work me in at 10:30 AM. The receptionist called back a few minutes later and said she preferred I come into the office at 4 PM. That way she could give me more time.
Three events occurred due to that change of time. My husband insisted on driving me into the office because I was hugging my right side and he didn’t think I should drive. Secondly, my doctor received the biopsy report one hour before I arrived and thirdly the pain led to a chest x-ray. The x-ray was clear for a rib fracture therefore the pain is cartilage and will take a bit of time and they were able to check my lungs which are clear, and that’s good to know.
Life can be wonderful sometimes, even in the midst of disease, can’t it? I believe it can be. Having Jim there in the office waiting room to be there when called in for me yesterday was such a blessing. That was the first time he had actually met my physician and since he’s also a nurse, I told him, he was stunned and then he read my pathology report. His love was there to comfort me as I was there to comfort him.
One of my favorite writers from many years ago, Glenn Clark, wrote, “I believe that God’s plan for me is a happy, healthy good expression for the good of all, and those things which bring happiness to me brings happiness to others. Therefore, when I am hindered from doing the things I want to do, I believe that God has closed the door only to open another, and that upon every closed door there is a sign pointing to a better and larger door just ahead. My disappointments therefore become His appointments.”
C.S.Lewis wrote, “When we are praying about the result of a battle or a medical consultation, the thought will often cross our minds that (if only we knew it) the event is already decided one way or another. I believe this to be no good reason for ceasing our prayers. The event has certainly been decided—in a sense it was decided before all worlds. But one of the things taken into account in deciding it, and therefore one of the things that cause it to happen, may be this very prayer that we are offering now.” That’s from his little book titled MIRACLES.
This ache in my ribcage has made me nauseous with its intensity but it did get me an x-ray. All day I’ve been thinking about one of those goofy movies from a few years back and an incident in it. On the field of battle a soldier is shot. He is screaming in agony and his major comes over to him, reaches down and breaks one of his fingers and says, “Now that will take your mind off of the gunshot.” Appropriate don’t you think? Today the pain in my ribs is taking the pain off of the possibilities running through my mind.
Be there for me my friends as I am most surely there for each of you. God is in charge and I trust Him completely.