THE WORLD OF DRAMA QUEENS, COWBOYS AND CLOWNS

Drama Queen

I’ve been living with and writing about chronic pain, chronic illness and disease for over twenty years. I have seen and personally experienced many phases of this life form and it can be a bit startling. Over that period of time I have heard from thousands of individuals and by that very acquaintanceship, well, it’s been and continues to be interesting. It’s been an education as I’ve observed various changes in myself and in the lives of others. As we all know, education can be enlightening, edifying and broadening.

I’ve often found it interesting to see how my own life and the lives of my fellow sufferers have morphed and changed over the years. There are no ideal ways to respond to this miserable way of life. There are a few that are a bit harder on others around you and can make your own life a bit worse. Sometimes these coping skills simply take on the personality of the one who has to carry the burden of the pain as they realize it’s always to be.

Drama queens are the loudest of all who suffer. Fainting couches and smelling salts may be outmoded but the dramatic aspect still appeals to many. I know it may sound silly but for many, chronic pain can send them into a spin from which they can suck attention, sympathy and applause of sorts from others. It’s a fine thing to have many friends and family but to use those people as succor for our own wounds; it’s an abuse of the privilege of love and friendship. How do we know if we ourselves are behaving as drama queens? That’s a difficult question to answer but the answer, perhaps, lies in the oblique aspect of balance. We can ask ourselves if we are good friends to others or do we just take and give naught in return? Sometimes the bumps in life such as chronic pain, illness, loss, etc. can dissolve our sense of balance and give us a short view of life. It can cause us to be so self-centered as we are sucked into this vortex, so deeply, the walls of it keep us from realizing what we are doing. We begin to realize the reality when others begin to flee from us in droves.

We lose contact with ourselves because we convince ourselves others can’t possibly be suffering anything close to the degree of our own suffering. This causes a separation from others and in a sense a separation from reality. Gradually, we are all that matter in this, our little world. Unless you have the energy to go into acting, go onto the stage or get a job making headache commercials, I suggest this is a sad way to live, even though it is colorful.

I’ll still love you if you become a drama queen but please try to tone down the screaming, fainting and moaning so the Richter scale doesn’t pick it up; but I probably won’t be able to attend all your performances because I have problems of my own.

Another form we can morph into is what I call the cowboy. These are often the martyrs of chronic illness. Females and males alike can assume this position as they totally ignore their own health, their bodies and their pain. They can assume that pose until they fall flat on their faces and wonder, “Hey, what happened?”

The cowboy is a tough guy or gal. My husband was a classic cowboy when I married him. He brushed his teeth with Lifebuoy bar soap. He washed his hair with it, showered with it and, well, that’s as far as I’m prepared to go. That’s the way he did it in the U.S. Army and by God, that’s good enough for anybody. Like many male of the species, he has to be falling down on his face to go to the doctor. YET…when cowboy types finally fall, it’s strictly, “Help, I can’t get up.” Head cold and influenza can turn cowboys into wimps in less than 2 hours; however some cowboys still go to work to share their germs with others. Nothing keeps them from their appointed rounds and no, they don’t have to be mailmen to follow that rule. Cowboys can have a foot dangling on the end of their leg and still think an aspirin is a luxury. They do not convert easily.

I feel compelled to tell you that my husband does now use a better quality of bath soap, shampoo and tooth paste although I must refrain from buying any toiletries that are fruit or flower scented in case someone catch a whiff of him at work. One has to remember he works at a jail and one must be careful not to smell too sweet.

Most cowboys model themselves after John Wayne and even develop his swagger, although some make it look more like a hemorrhoid problem than the way the boots fit. Cowboy guys and gals, your bodies will fall apart just as quickly as the rest of ours so you might as well use the medication, spring for the cost of the good soap and get a haircut now and then. You’re not going to live any longer than if you don’t; and for goodness sakes, take a pain pill now and then instead of frowning and groaning so loudly while muttering, “I’m fine, I’m fine. Quit your fussin’.”

Lastly, let’s talk about clowns. The clowns among us are a distinct category because they play the fool but they don’t know they look the part. They operate behind their masks. Most of the clowns of chronic pain take too many pills, often with wine or beer and think it’s okay because they’re in dire straits. Clowns take too much of everything because they believe themselves to be in dire straits. They’re the ones who tell the pharmacists and the doctors they dropped their pain pills down the sink or someone broke in and stole them. The rules of this mortal combat don’t apply to the clowns, based on the way their little red noses blink or perhaps their wigs are on too tightly. They truly believe no one can see behind their masks or make-up. “Honk, Honk.”

Like any good circus clown, as they hide in plain sight, they flop around in their over-sized shoes risking life and limb. They are certain they are well hidden from sight so they can get away with all the tom-foolery with their medications because no one will notice due to their sleight of hand. The clowns of chronic pain aren’t happy being alone. They want you to jump into the bottle with them. After all, they will say, “You only live once,” and if you’re doing it their way, it’s more than enough. Self-delusion is the foundation make-up for the clown. He or she believes no one understands their words are slurring, their gait is off and they are speaking to everyone as if they’ve just crossed the border or were deaf.

Indeed, we assume many forms in this strange life of chronic pain. We don’t judge each other because we understand or have been there and know wisdom is the only door out.

It occurs to me in reading these, my words that we have all the ingredients here to form a circus. That fits. My life often feels like a circus, doesn’t yours?

77 thoughts on “THE WORLD OF DRAMA QUEENS, COWBOYS AND CLOWNS

  1. Woohoo sue…can someone have a bit of all of those…..??
    What an insight…it don’t half fit me sometimes ..I mean all of em…..got my own circus and fair here!
    How you doin sue…still getting better?
    I’m home for a few days
    DD over at hut for a few days now…she has had words with her partner so is on her ownI think it will do her good. Things not too good on that front.we got drs and hosp apps so had to come back,also for my dad.but I think she will want company by the w,end so well judge when to go!
    Hope all well as can be
    Chris

    • Chris, So good to get an update on you and your family. How long does it take you to go from home to the hut? Sounds like you’ve been traveling a great deal lately, but worth it. Guess DD will find her way with such a wise mother on her side. As far as your dead father, he reminds us all how complicated life can be for the aged; as if it isn’t already complicated enough.
      Yes, I think all of us can fit into these three categories at various times in our lives with variations of course. Love you, Sue

  2. Life can definitely be a circus- or as my mama used to say, a three-ring circus on a merry-go-round! (Hear for the background music the 70’s hit “I’m so dizzy, my head is spinning…”) Can’t you just see the trained monkeys dancing?

    • Annie, such a brief reply for you tells me life is still a circus for you. Hope things calm down soon. Thinking of you. How is your Mom feeling? Love, Sue

  3. LIFE HAS CERTAINLY BEEN A BLOODY CIRCUS IN OUR HOUSE THIS WEEK, SO YES I TOO CAN RELATE TO THIS BLOG (WHICH IS GREAT BY THE WAY) I DON’T KNOW WHY IT IS BUT WHEN I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO FAMILY COMING, OR GOING TO SEE THEM, SOMETHING ALWAYS GOES WRONG HEALTHWISE. MAYBE ITS ME BEING ANXIOUS, WANTING EVERYTHING TO GO RIGHT, FELT SO BAD YESTERDAY, I WANTED TO BE IN BED AND NOT WORRYING IF EVERYBODY WAS OK. TODAY I FEEL A BIT BETTER, SO GOT TO MAKE AN BIG EFFORT TO GO OUT WITH THE FAMILY, OR IT WON’T BE MUCH OF A VISIT. WELL BETTER GO AND GET READY I AM SURE IT WILL ALL BE OK……LOVE TO EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY TO THOSE WHO ARE HAVING A TOUGH TIME…..THAT’LL BE MOST OF US THEN.
    CHRIS…WILL BE FREE WEDS AND THURS IF YOU ARE AROUND WOULD LIKE A CHAT IF POSSIBLE……LOVE JENNIE XX

    • Jennie, Hope today went well for you visiting with the in-law kids. I know you were struggling to keep up and hope your strength held out. I know what you mean about the visits sometimes bringing on episodes and think it is the stress however, isn’t it sometimes hard to find a block of time when we feel decent, period? From my own perspective, I can’t remember any period of time in recent days when I felt well so it’s trudging on because that damn clock keeps ticking. We’ll be waiting to hear how you’re doing and how the visit went. Hope you didn’t get carried away with the baking…although it was delicious, I’m sure. Thinking of you. Love, Sue

  4. Jen
    Ill def be in after 6pm wed
    after that I may go earlier to join DD ,see how it goes
    But hopefully speak wed
    Will be in after 6pm Tonite if any good
    It’s all a blimmin circus innit?!
    Annie
    Hope you got them photos
    Chris

  5. Sue, an enjoyable read, although there may be some performers missing… I see potential for a Ring Master, Tightrope Walker, hmmm… the Lion Tamer may be the doc?? And there’s always the elephant in the room… Haha! I hope your circus has downgraded from 3 ring to small traveling variety. – I add Chris, Jennie, Annie, et al to that list! Still recovering here, wishing it went faster, but no back sliding or side tracking, so we’re good. Pup Sadie is doing well with her Beginner Training. Cats are slowly getting used to her and she to them. We’ve been having lovely weather so far this week and enjoying outside time – the furry ones as well.
    Chris, Jennie – thinking of you and sending prayers. Annie, I hope your circus parade is slowly leaving town. Sue, may your recovery and treatment be smooth going.
    Best to all of you who read, follow, and comment!

    • Lyn, You’re absolutely right. Our lives have room for so many more performers but the blog didn’t . I could have gone on and on forever. We each, as well as our families, go through so many stages of disease and reaction to it.
      It’s going to be hot but beautiful here today so I’ve been out doodling on the porch which needs more than doodling…like mopping but don’t feel quite up to it as yet. Bought a tiny daisy like plant that was root bound and begging for water and had to nurture it a bit. So much has not been done around here. Have to cut George’s nails but chest not up to holding him and struggling so think I’ll take him to the vet’s for that delightful experience.
      Glad to hear Sadie is settling in and the cats are adapting, also. Hope you’re getting your recovery time after your busy week…last. Fondly, Sue

      • Maybe more performers will show in later blogs. 😉 Just do what you can, Sue, the rest will wait or can be delegated. I used to take our greyhounds for nail trims. Star’s nails were black and SO hard to see the quick. I was able to take her to our vet’s office for a nominal charge that was more than worth it to me. I’m trying to decide now how I want to proceed with Sadie. Hers will need trimming soon. I bought a trimmer… should have bought one of the grinders probably… Her nails are white which helps, but she pulls her feet easily so it could get frustrating for all. Hmmm… I do trim all of the cats’ nails. Enjoy your warm day and your new little daisy. Trying to recover quickly. I’m taking a little road trip on Friday to visit my oldest and dearest friend and her husband. DH was going to go with me, but can’t. Now that we have Sadie, that might be helpful so someone is here for her and the cats. We’ll try for another weekend with them as couples when the kids can watch the pets. 😉

  6. Dear Sue, Loved it. Tonie’s 3 ring circus on a merry-go-round is a perfect description of my life these days. Any schedule I make goes right out the window, sometimes I just want to either crawl into bed or just go out the door and drive off into the sunset. Now that qualifies me as both a drama queen and a cowboy and also as one who uses too many cliches.
    Hope you are getting better each day and as always positive thoughts and prayers. Love, Janet

    • Janet dear, sounds like you’re in what I refer to as the “life is dragging me along” phase. Sometimes I would love to just do nothing but life calls out loudly. Laundry piles, plants try to get into the house..we have morning glories and berry vines that are so invasive (got to call the yard guy for those), the dog needs to go to the vet, etc. Wish everything would just stop, right?
      I know packing, decision making and the future can all be ominous and seem like too much. Just remember to take it one dose at a time, okay. Sit when you must and taking a drive, well, why not as long as you come home afterwards. Much love, Sue

  7. Am all:
    GREAT one Sue:
    I think we have seen a bit of all those performers in ourselves at a time or other. Makes you stop and think. I don’t want to be any of them. But at times I am. REminds me of the 3 Dog Night song Annie, about the Circus. Can’t remember the name of it right off.
    Janet, dear, you are in my prayers. Take er as she comes in times like that. If one thing don’t work out, use a back up !!
    Love to you all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, You don’t really say how you’re doing. So how are you? How does your garden grow and the weather? Always concerned. Love, Sue

      • Sue:
        I am here ! 🙂 Not a lot to say today….the weather is a LOT cooler, like Sept weather, the garden is going onwards, lot os green tomatoes. I am just a bit blah today !
        Love ya
        Tonie

    • CHris, that’s just a good distance, isn’t it? It’s so wonderful you’re getting to see the sea as well as having a cooler place to sleep. Love, Sue

    • I AM HERE, BUT HAVE BEEN VERY BUSY WITH MY AUNT. FINALLY WAS ABLE TO TALK HER INTO SEEING A SOCIAL WORKER. THEY WILL BE SETTING UP MEALS ON WHEELS FOR HER ONCE A DAY A LUNCHTIME . AND WILL ALSO GET HER A CLEANING PERSON. SHE WILL GET AN INVOICE AT THE END OF EACH MONTH SO NO MONEY WILL BE EXCHANGED. SHE IS GOING BLIND AND I’M VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HER BUT SHE DOESN’T WANT TO LEAVE HER HOME. THAT IS WHY I HAVEN’T HAD TIME TO EVEN READ THE BLOG. ONCE I DONE WITH ALL THE PHONE CALLS AND MEETING, I’M DONE.
      LOVE YOU ALL. CHRIS DID I MISS SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR DAD? THINKING ABOUT YOU CHRIS SWEETHEART. XXX

      • No you didn’t miss anything it was a typo,thankyou for asking like you did tho,Suzanne
        Glad you are bearing up and secure about your aunt now.time for you to relax…….
        How are you on the extra pills,
        Warm here at home
        Much cooler on the coast
        DD there at moment
        Chris

      • Suzanne, What a dear niece you are. It’s so hard to grow old and die in little itty bitty pieces. It sure does help to have some family members there for you. I suspect she was there for others when she was younger. Life can be so heartbreaking at times. I guess that’s why we have each other. Thanks for being you. Love, Sue

  8. Good morning peeps !
    Brr it is chilly here this am, even for the mountains. 50′ ! Like fall has fell. I pray it doesn’t stunt my tomatoes. I think it is supposed to be this way a couple more days.
    Suzanne, where are you ? Pray that your body is adjusting to the meds and weather.
    Hope you all have a good day. As for me MORE COFFEE !! Then off to sit with Ms Alice. Looks like we will have the heater on !
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, Hope your day with Miss Alice is enjoyable. The cool sounds good but know you’re worried about those tomatoes of yours. Hope you’re okay. Thoughts and prayers dear lady, Sue

    • Tonie, have a great day with Miss Alice! It was cool here, too. I started my day with coffee, then around 9 was off on a walk with Miss Sadie. 😉 Loving these cooler temps overnight and early morning. Last evening I needed to come in to grab a jacket! Warmer today, around 80 – at least it is supposed to be. I didn’t check to see if it is getting there. This weekend we are supposed to be back up to around 84, more seasonal. I hope your tomatoes survive. I’m guessing they will. 🙂 Cheers!

    • SUE MY AUNTY WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER, SHE IS MY GODMOTHER. I REMEMBER WHEN I NEEDED RADIATION TREATMENTS, IT WAS A FRIDAY WHEN I HAD MY FIRST TREATMENT AND THEY TOLD ME TO STAY IN BED BECAUSE I MIGHT HEMORRHAGE, AFTER WE GOT HOME GEORGE HAD TO LEAVE FOR WORK SO I ASKED GOD FOR HELP AND SUDDENLY AUNTY CALLED TO ASK IF SHE COUD TAKE 3 CHILDREN FOR THE WEEKEND (MIRACLE FROM GOD) WHICH WAS JUST PERFECT BECAUSE MY HUSBAND WAS WORKING WEEKENDS IN TOWN AT THAT TIME AND DOING THE NIGHT SHIFT. WHAT PERFECT TIMING! THAT IS JUST ONE EXAMPLE. MY DD AND I ARE THE ONLY ONE’S HERE THAT TAKE CARE OF HER. WE ALWAYS HAVE. NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO LEAVE HER. I WANTED HER TO COME LIVE WITH ME BUT SHE DOES NOT LIKE DOGS AND WILL NOT COME. I WAS SAD AT FIRST BUT THEN WHEN I REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT, I BELIEVE I’M IN NO CONDITION TO BE TAKING CARE OF ANOTHER PERSON AT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE. I TOOK CARE OF MY MOM AND THAT WAS QUITE AN EXTRA CHORE AT THE END OF MY WORK DAY, BUT WAS ABLE TO DO IT CAUSE I WAS IN GOOD HEALTH AND MUCH YOUNGER. MOM HAD MACULAR DEGENERATION, THE SAME AS AUNTY (THEY ARE SISTERS) AND MOM WENT BLIND ALSO.
      WELL ENOUGH ABOUT MY FAMILY.
      LOVE YOU SUE. HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD DAY. DON’T FORGET TO REST ALSO.
      GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
      XXX

      • Suzanne, thank you for sharing about your aunt. She does sound very special and to be so thoughtful when you needed her says so much about her as a person. No dear, you probably aren’t in any shape to care for her in your home. I faced the same question several years ago about my Mom and couldn’t imagine caring for her and each of my sisters were also ill with some form of rheumatoid disease so it was a difficult decision. I’m sure you are doing all you can and she sounds like an understanding woman who gets it. Going blind must be so difficult. I can’t imagine. I do know she is fortunate to have you and your DD.
        I hope to improve each day. I’ve been depressed lately and think it might be my body getting used to the Tamoxifen. Hope it passes. Do be good to you dear girl, Love, Sue

  9. Yep Sue, it’s still a circus, esp. at work. PreK was a zoo today. Rainy day so no outside play. One of the autistic kids was going ballistic- screaming, running around the table, biting, spitting food, peed in the floor, total meltdown. His mom says he doesn’t behave like that at home. (Yeah, right!) she has completely unrealistic expectations of him, and us! Boss lady had to sit in there for the teachers lunch break- I think it was good for her to have to deal with this kid- I’d bet her expectations of the teachers change a bit! Man am I ready for vacation. Two more weeks…
    Found myself very grumpy and angry tonight, so I went to the batting cage after work. 140 softballs and one blister later, I’m feeling much better. Cheap therapy. LoL. Hope I can move in the morning!
    Well I have PT before work tomorrow do I’d better hit the sack. Love to all, Princess Crabby Pants

    • Annie dear, the way you describe some of your days sounds like Jim’s days at the jail. Life can be so overwhelming sometimes and when you hurt all the time, the coping skills tend to fly out the window. The stress of nursing can be so much more than the public realize. That’s a lot of softball sweet lady and took a lot of frustration to accomplish. Hope things lighten up a bit for you. Is everything outside of work okay? What’s bothering you the most right now physically? So much, huh? Hang in there and do something you enjoy, like sewing and creating. Much love, Sue

      • GOOD MORNING ANNIE, HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY? GREAT I HOPE AFTER ALL THOSE SOFTBALLS. HAVE A GOOD DAY. SENDING YOU PRAYERS FOR A GOOD DAY AND ANGELS TO PAVE YOUR WAY.
        LOVE YOU PRINCESS.
        XXX

  10. LOVED THE BLOG SUE. WAS SITTING OUTSIDE THIS MORNING AND HAVING A MELTDOWN MOMENT. SAYING TO MYSELF I CAN’T KEEP THIS UP FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. ETC…..I KEPT TALKING TO MYSELF AND QUICKLY CHANGED MY MIND SET. THEN MY PILLS FINALLY KICKED IN AND NOW I’M A LITTLE MORE MYSELF. I’M NOT SURE WHERE I FIT IN THIS CIRCUS BUT THINK MAYBE ALL THREE AND LOTS MORE. SEEMS TO CHANGE AT DIFFERENT TIMES. I’M NOW TRYING TO TELL MYSELF I HAVE TO GO OUT CAUSE I CAN’T JUST COOK AND CLEAN THE HOUSE AND WALK MOLLY. SO I’M STARTING TO GO FOR LUNCH. ALWAYS NICE BUT OF COURSE AS WE ALL KNOW THERE IS A PRICE TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING WE DO. AT LEAST THAT SEEMS TO BE TRUE FOR ME. RIGHT NOW I’M WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE IF IT IS SOMETHING I REALLY WANT TO DO. TODAY I’M MEETING MY SISTER AGAIN, SHE IS GIVING ME A SEAT TO PUT IN THE BATH SO WASHING WILL BE EASIER ON ME. MY FRIEND IS DRIVING ME CAUSE DRIVING TO QUEBEC IS JUST TO LONG FOR MY BACK AND SITTER. HOPE THAT CHANGES SOON. WOULD LIKE TO BE ABLE TO DO MORE STUFF ON MY OWN. ANYWAYS WE ARE ALL THREE GOING OUT FOR LUNCH. WILL BE NICE TO SEE MY OLDER SISTER AGAIN. OH SUE I’LL HAVE TO E-MAIL YOU SOME OF THE PICS FROM OUR LAST LUNCH WITH MY TWO SISTERS, AUNTS AND COUSINS. WHAT FUN WE HAD THAT DAY. (TONIE, CHRIS AND JENNIE POO ALSO CAUSE I HAVE YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS).
    LYRIC IS WORKING FROM 11 – 2;30 LESS PAIN BUT AS THE DOC SAID I WILL ALWAYS BE IN PAIN. BUT IT IS OKAY CAUSE IT IS A PAIN I CAN LIVE WITH WHEN THE PILLS KICK IN. WISH IT LASTED LONGER. TODAY I HAVE SORES IN MY MOUTH THAT IS A FIRST, WILL LOOOK THAT UP. ALSO PUTTING ON WEIGHT WHICH I FIND HARD.
    WELL SUE HAPPY TO HEAR YOU ARE SLOWLY GETTING BACK ON YOUR FEET. SLOW AND STEADY MY FRIEND.
    LOVE TO ALL ON THE BLOG.
    GOD BLESS XXX

    • Suzanne, there you are! Please let your doc know about the sores in your mouth. So glad the lyrica is giving you SOME relief at least. Perhaps the dose can be increased or the delivery a slower release for better relief? I know when SB was trying it they started him at one dosage and increased it. Do what you can, Lady, it’s all we can do. Take care of yourself! I’m driving to visit my oldest and dearest friend whom I haven’t seen in a while. Can’t wait. BUT, I’m driving myself. I’m hoping I can do the trip without fallout, too. My foot has been giving me issue lately – joining in the Act, so to speak. 😉 Blessings!

      • YES I WILL BE TALKING TO MY DOC ABOUT THE SORES IN MY MOUTH AND PAIN IN MY ABDOMEN. BELIEVE THEY ARE ALL SIDE EFFECTS BUT FOR NOW IT’S SO NICE TO HAVE A FEW HOURS OF RELIEF.
        BRAVE LADY, DRIVING YOURSELF BUT OH SO WORTH IT TO SEE YOUR OLDEST AND DEAREST FRIEND. THEY ARE SO SPECIAL IN OUR LIVES. GOOD FOR YOU LYN. HOPE YOUR ANKLE BEHAVES!! BE GENTLE ON YOURSELF.
        HUGS TO YOU AND BLESSINGS AND ANGELS. LOVE YOU FOR CARING.
        XXX

      • Lyn, Hope your trip isn’t too much burden but definitely too much love, friendship, and remembering. Old friends are special. Watch that ankle dear girl. Let us know how it goes. Love, Sue

      • Hi, guys, just a quick note to say the ankle was better today – I wore my Sketchers, the ones that made toning claims that I don’t think they make anymore. They are my most comfy sneakers. I have no idea what I will do when they are worn out! Can’t wait for tomorrow! I plan on wearing those sneaks to drive in. 😉

    • Suzanne, My go to over the counter drug for oral breakouts is definitely L-lysine. It is a 500 mg. capsule and you can take it every hour or two to clear up breakouts in the mouth. They can really hurt, huh? I know. They also make an L-lysine cream that works as well as the very overpriced Abreva at half the cost. I agree with Lyn, definitely need to tweek the dose after telling the doc and getting advice.
      How we each understand that feeling in the gut when it sinks in that this may always be…however, it can be better and you are finding that out now. I’m happy to see you reach out and want more and know it’s possible. It’s all a shock and takes time to adjust. Time and experience is really on our side but it often doesn’t feel like it. Good to hear from you as you have been missed but understand you have a life. Love to Molly and reach on dear girl. Love, Sue

      • THANKS SUE, I WILL CHECK THE L-LYSINE OUT. HOPE WE HAVE THAT IN CANADA. WE DON’T ALWAYS HAVE THE SAME THINGS HERE. I’LL KEEP YOU POSTED. I WILL BE SEEING MY DOC ON AUG 14, SO NOT TO LONG TO GO.
        LOVE YOU AND TAKE GOOD CARE MY DEAR FRIEND.
        XXX

    • Hey Suzanne:
      Good to see you back on. Glad to hear the meds are starting to work. Yes, be sure and let the Dr know, that he can increase the dosage for you. Unfortunately we will always be in pain. The meds do help take some of it away and for that I am thankful. Good for you to get out and go see your sis. I know that was fun ! I bet Quebec is beautiful, such an old city ! Yes, do send the pics. I am learning to pace myself a little better. Some things are worth the all out of our energies and others, well , they just aren’t are they ?? Do take care and let us know how the lunch went !
      Love
      Tonie

      • THANKS TONIE! LOVE YOU SWEETPEA. YES QUEBEC IS A BEAUTIFUL OLD CITY WHICH LOOKS LIKE CITIES IN EUROPE. THAT’S WHAT MOST PEOPLE SAY WHEN THEY ARE VISITING.
        I’M SO HAPPY TO HEAR YOU ARE PACING YOURSELF. WOW, YOU ARE LIKE A MACHINE DOING SO MUCH WORK. YES I AGREE SOMETHINGS ARE WORTH THE ALL OUT OF OUR ENERGIES AND OTHERS JUST AREN’T. I’M LEARNING THAT ALSO. I HAVE BEEN LEARNING QUITE A BIT THESE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS, BUT LATELY I AM LIVING WHAT I HAVE LEARNED. DO TAKE CARE OF YOU.
        GOD BLESS YOU TONIE.
        XXX

  11. Sue, that is one hilarious description of this life we live! I, too, seem to find myself in more than one of those job descriptions at different seasons of pain. And My DH needs a knee replacement but he’s a cowboy… “Come on drama Queen we’re burnin’ daylight!” As he gimps along with his bum knee, saying, “I’m fine! Let’s getter done!” 😉
    I’m praying for you my friend!! Journey on, Brenda.

    • Brenda, Yep and Howdy…you are married to a cowboy for certain. They’re stubborn as an old boot, too, right?
      Thanks for the prayers dear girl. Journeying on is about right. There was one door to open and I’ve taken it. Humor helps, don’t you think…especially if you’re married to a cowboy. Fondly, Sue

    • Hey Brenda B in Texas !!
      Good to see you again. Your Hubby sounds like a character. He would fit in fine with us huh ? Thanks for the smile !
      Tonie

  12. Lyn, glad the ankles okay or at least better. There are lots of comfy shoes on the market these days, it’s just the nonsense of trying and testing that’s a pain in the …foot. Love, Sue P.S. Hope your visit was good.

  13. Dear Sue,
    I must have a bit of a split personality. Sometimes I am the class clown, occasionally I am a drama queen ( when stressed out or hungry or super tired), and I have been known to “tough it out” like a cowboy. I am the poster child for everything going right with my breast cancer “adventure”! I have no edema, no involvement with lymph nodes, and no lasting side effects except some foods don’t taste right to me now. That is OK, though, because it is good if I eat less. Then I can lose more weight. My skin healed fast frm the radiation, my hair grew back beautifully, and my dctor now wrote “former cancer patient” on my chart. I pray you have equal success!

  14. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SUE !! WE LOVE YOU AND APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH ! HERE’S TO A LOVELY PAIN FREE DAY FOR YOU. I PRAY YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL ONE.
    LOVE
    TONIE

    • Tonie, thanks. Not starting off too well, Did too much yesterday. Hope it gets better after morning meds. Love, Sue

    • Thanks Chris, just got home from a nice day down by the river with Beth and the grands. Saw seals, cormorants fishing and some boats coming in from a tuna festival of fishing. Bought some fresh produce. It was nice for George and I to get out and act like regular folks. Hope you’re having a good weekend, also. Love ya, Sue

  15. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU……. HOPE YOUR DAY IMPROVED MY DEAR FRIEND AND YOU ENJOYED EVERY MOMENT. CERTAINLY SOUNDS LIKE A FABULOUS DAY, AND THEN TO TOP IT OFF WITH FRESH PRODUCE IS PRICELESS. LOVE YOU SUE!
    BLESSINGS XXX

  16. Hello, all! I’m back from a wonderful visit with my oldest and dearest friend and her husband. It was a long drive down and back, but I had time to recover and relax, and lots of catching up! I drove down Friday, we had lunch and did lots of catching up, dinner, and a lovely fire in the firepit in the evening. Saturday, more catching up among errands, coffee, a carousel ride and a little time by the pool. We enjoyed making dinner together, then fun playing Yahtzee – one of our favorite games growing up. I came back up early this morning so I could make it to church in time. I had to run the sound equipment and serve communion. Chilling out here at home now. I hope everyone else had a great weekend, too!

    • Lyn:
      Glad you had a nice trip and great time with your friend. You never get too old for that do you ?

      Jennie: WHat is up with you ?? You DON’T sound like you , hope you are not feeling bad.
      Chris, where are you at, the beach or home ??
      Suzanne, you were not long on here either.
      SUe glad you had a better day. I cannot imagine living that close to the beach, I would be in heaven !!

      The benefit last night went well. I came out good, not big mess-ups that I did, just the usual one or two and the good thing about being behind a piano is no one can see the face you make when you screw up ! A couple of very good groups as well as the guys I grew up with. One of them is so awesomely talented. He has been making harps for a few years now. He was a BIG Peter, Paul and Mary fan and she had one of his harps when she passed on, that she had gotten from him.. Anyway, he played some for us and a song he composed. And I got an idea ! (imagine) I am going to see if he will do some songs with me at Christmas , he on the harp and me on the organ ! First I have to practice 🙂
      Hope you all had a great day !
      Love
      Tonie

      • TONIE….I AM OK PHYSICALLY….WELL AS GOOD AS IT GETS….JUST GOT SOME PERSONAL STUFF GOING ON, WHICH AT THE MOMENT I CANNOT SHARE, BUT I WILL WHEN ITS OVER…..STOMACH CHURNING STUFF…….I LOVED PETER PAUL AND MARY TOO, ESPECIALLY, “LEAVING ON A JET PLANE” FEEL LIKE DOING THAT RIGHT NOW…….LOVE YOU XX

    • Lyn, It sounds like you had a delightful time and plenty of visiting time. Good. Old friends are to be cherished; all those memories to share. Good to have you home. Did you have your top down…or rather the car’s top down? Love, Sue

      • Sue, I did have Gretchen Bluebell (aka Belle)’s top down on the trip down. It threatened rain while I was there, so up it went once I got there. My friend was duly impressed with her and also expressed a desire for one when she retires. Her hubby parked it in the driveway one evening and concurred. 🙂 As for my top… it remained in place. 😉 It’s better that way.

  17. Happy, Happy Birthday Sue … hope the coming year will be full of special times that will become happy memories!
    Sorry I have been gone for so long … seems I struggle just to have the energy to write a few lines on Facebook. We are finding it hard this year to keep up with our home and cottage and all the carting back and forth … groceries, clothes, sheets, towels and for DH, the tools that he might need, and yes, life does seem to be a merry-go-round at times. We hope to add a porch next year to the cottage, which will include a badly needed closet with extra storage and a washer and dryer … I think that will make a huge difference. I will also have room I hope, for my great, great, great grandmother’s table with the pineapple legs that we bought at the auction sale this spring. Last week we had a new steel roof, charcoal in colour, put on the cottage, so we should never have to worry about a roof again. The kids flew to NS on Friday to see DIL’s parents, which was also Granddolly’s third birthday, so Thursday evening, while their parent’s packed, we took her and her brother, to their favourite chicken restaurant, but they always have take out, and we had no idea how GS would act, but his dad did say that if there was any problems to call, and he would come right away. This restaurant has a gluten free menu and even have gluten free candy for the kids that eat gluten free. We told our server about GS and that this was his first dining out experience, and she promptly arrived with crayons and pictures to colour and model airplanes to put together. GS opened the crayons, pulled one out, held it up and announced it was red and then continued with the blue one. He began to colour the picture and said dino … and them t-rex … we were so thrilled! He is so happy at the hospital school and is (almost) potty trained! Little Neve was also thrilled when the staff arrived to sing her a birthday song (a much livelier song than “Happy Birthday” with lots of cheering and clapping), and then produced a chocolate sundae with a birthday candle. She had many stories to tell her parents when she arrived back home! We were at the restaurant for over two hours with no problems, and both grands ate very well, especially GS who ate his dinner and half of mine as I had my infusion that afternoon and was not up to eating a full meal! Their family had a great flight and this time, being a year older, little Neve was fascinated with the airplane and the TV’s on the back of each seat we are told. We have their fur child, Golden Fergus, here for sleep overs until they return home.
    I am disappointed this summer that I am having more difficulty accomplishing things I could do last year, due to pain. I have had my third infusion of actemra and I have been told it might take four doses to know the effect and I do feel I have more energy, but still experiencing increased pain, especially in my feet, hips, back and neck … but I know I have more damage in these areas, and no drug is going to help that pain except pain medication. I am unable to do any very light gardening without quickly experiencing pain, and even pulling the hose around to water the flowers puts my back in spasm, although the fear of dislocating my shoulder is finally gone!
    Must quit this complaining! Hope everyone is having a great weekend, and especially Sue – hope each day arrives a bit brighter and with less pain! Love and Hugs … PM (Nana) Brenda

  18. Tonie, that would be fun. I’m so pleased both you get so many blessings and joy from your music. That’s an impressive connection. I’m a bit concerned about everyone right now. Lots going on with health and family for all of us. Love, Sue

  19. Ok all
    Yea at the beach
    Been real busy,we swapped for a bigger hut,we now call it the SHED
    Will email those I usually do when sorted
    A lot to do and DD here right now ,so she is helping
    Moved to another one for many reasons….this one is bigger for us all and the blimmin ducks and a lot of leaves from two big trees by our Door…..all too much for me to keep up

    Lyn your time with friends sounds full and real good

    Tonie..you clever girl you…
    Sue…..you still getting betterer ?
    Well over and out
    Chris

    • SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE BEEN REALLY BUSY CHRIS. DO TAKE CARE. HAPPY YOUR DD IS HELPING. THINKING THAT IS THE REASON FOR CHANGING FOR THE SHED.
      LOVE YOU BIG. HOW IS YOUR DAD DOING?
      XXX

    • Chris, you sound busy. I know you’re enjoying your beautiful new shed. How fun. I love shopping with my daughter. We always get into some sort of trouble. Enjoy life dear lady. We love to hear it but a lot of work this whole moving bit, huh? Love, Sue

  20. Sue- great question -what’s bothering me the most physically. Probably the fibromyalgia and accompanying fatigue. It’s flared up with all the weather changes for one, and then with extra lifting (being down 2 teachers at work -they did some of it for me). My little KK, the child with the spinal cord injury- she is four now but as tall as a 6 year old and probably close to 45-50 lbs. not an ounce of fat on her, just tall, and the lower half is dead weight due to paralysis. My shoulder is really achy from lifting her, plus I have two of the autistic boys that are really stout little guys who like to “bull doze” me, or drop to the floor limp while I’m holding their hand walking them.
    My physical therapy is kind of a “no pain no gain” situation these days. Much of it is manual release of trigger points and scar tissue in the abdomen, pelvic floor, and lower back/ S-I joints- basically massage, mashing on pressure points, and visceral manipulation that leaves me pretty sore. My PT said she thinks my bladder is adhered to the abd. wall with scar tissue (result of hysterectomy?) Ouch. I have also a separation of the abdominal muscles (diastasis recti) from coughing, dry heaves/food poisoning and reflux last fall. Good news is its not a hernia, but am still considering Nissen procedure for reflux. I go back to GI Doc for test results later this month and then back to surgeon to decide how to proceed from there.
    So answering the question of whats bothering me most was kinda like trying to decide which is worse: earthquake, tornado, or tsunami- LOL. All a matter of perspective I suppose. So does that make me a clown, a cowboy, or a drama queen?
    Well my trip to the batting cage didnt leave me very sore at all- I guess it was a case of “movement as medicine.” I might make that my workout of choice-good for body and mind. Gotta love a two-fer!
    We got to see pictures at church from the Honduras mission trip- they built twelve houses, and there were pictures of the little girls holding up the dresses we had sewn. Their faces were just lit up- little brown eyes sparkling, and so happy. Did my heart good.
    Well I should hit the sack for now. Love to all, Princess Crabby Pants (but Grateful Heart).

    • Crabby Pants/Grateful Heart, SB would concur. Movement is sometimes the best medicine. BTW, he goes in for the left side radio frequency ablation on Wed and can’t wait. Imagine how odd it would feel to have pain relief on one half of your lower back but not the other. I think that is what has set off an nasty flare of pain in his upper back regions right now. Poor fellow. Hang in there!

    • Annie, that’s precisely why I asked the question. You always have a basket full of trouble. First things first my girl. You can’t always take care of everything then it’s a choice between what’s bothering you the most, what’s easiest to fix and what you can live with.
      I know it was a useful and blessed feeling to see those little Hondurans in the dresses you made. Good for you. If we don’t give back in the midst of so much suffering, it isn’t good. Hang on and try to prioritize. Fondly as ever, Sue

  21. OH MY PRINCESS CRABBY PANTS, YOU HAVE SO MUCH GOING ON. NO WONDER YOU ARE CRABBY. I WOULD BE TOO. YOU SEEM TO TAKE IT ALL IN STRIDE. GOOD FOR YOU. NOT SURE I WOULD BE ABLE TO EVEN FUNCTION WITH ALL YOU HAVE.
    DO TAKE CARE AND YES THAT BATTING CAGE SOUNDS LIKE THERAPY TO ME. HAPPY TO HEAR YOU HAVE A GRATEFUL HEART. SENDING PRAYERS AND ANGELS TO HELP YOU GET THROUGH ALL THAT IS HAPPENING AT WORK. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.
    LOVE YOU AND DO BE GENTLE ON YOURSELF.
    BLESSINGS.
    XXX

  22. Back home
    Busy for some days..my dad and blood tests tomorow
    Going shopping with DD for a wedding outfit for friends wedding Wednesday ,then gotta go photoing Thursday then shopping for my dad,then hopefully back Friday .have to see as I’ve got a colonoscopy scan week Friday …so don’t think I can go,unless I change dates
    To tired to think and DH not too good
    Ill Chime in tomorrow
    Chris

    • OH CHRIS SWEETHEART, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A WHOLE LOT TO DO WITH A COLONOSCOPY IN THAT ON FRIDAY. PLEASE DEAR DO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF ALSO. I’M WORRIED ABOUT YOU. TO TOP THINGS OFF DH NOT DOING GOOD EITHER. OH MY CHRIS, BREATHE……
      TAKE GOOD CARE ,PLEASE. LOVE YOU BIG.
      GOD BLESS XXX

  23. Jennie, you know each of us have you in our hearts and want life to resolve for you. Seems like it’s hard enough without all of life traumas being thrown in to make our load heavier. Thoughts and positive wishes for your troubled heart. You deserve so much more than trouble at this cross road of your life. Much love, Sue

  24. OH JENNIE POO, NOT REALLY SURE WHAT IS GOING ON, BUT READ SUE’S COMMENT AND NOW I’M WORRIED ABOUT YOU TOO. DO TRY AND TAKE TIME FOR YOU SWEETHEART. LOVE YOU BIG. SENDING ANGELS TO PROTECT YOU.
    GOD BLESS YOU MY DARLING FRIEND.
    XXX

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