Yes, I’m a lady in waiting
Not for an infant nor queen,
I’m simply waiting for life
To be kind to me and less mean.
I’m always waiting for better days;
A day that doesn’t hurt this much,
Or one that I can function in
To accomplish, such and such.
Those of us who live with pain
Day in and each day out,
Are forced to swallow patience
So much, we long to shout.
I’ve tried to scream and cry,
But felt such small release
I found I must simply wait;
For help, for answers, for peace.
Each moment, each hour, each day
Can drone on end to end.
Do my answers come slower than most
Or is it my desire to mend?
Emotions rise within
Some non-pleasing to me,
As they rear their ugly head
They make an ass of me.
Where is patience to be found?
Is it found outside or in?
Can I dig a hole and plant a seed
Or will it spring forth from my skin?
Surely it’s not standard equipment or
It would come easily, but no
I fear patience has but one source,
Waiting for answers to grow.
I don’t wait very well
And know none who do,
And see few examples of it
Except inside the zoo.
I often need a cage to pace
A keeper at my call,
As I wonder what the future holds
Swaddled in impatience like a shawl.
I wait for surcease from constant pain.
I wait for release from this marathon;
This dance without a seeming end,
As life’s tune drones on and on.
I wait for that alchemist physician
Who has magic answers for me,
Yet in my heart the fear speaks
And I feel no one hears my plea.
Thankfully those lost days soon end
Because I can’t stand myself
And have no desire to live in darkness
Like some troll or cursed elf.
If this is simply to be
Waiting can drive me mad
As I continually seek answers
For I can’t bear to always be sad.
As I wait for solutions the clock ticks on
Each precious day is spent,
I’m losing more than I must
While I wait to cease this torment.
If I’m to be a lady in waiting
I must also be one who lives,
Continually seeking answers
I can also be one who gives.
What if answers never arrive
And I’m left with years of regret?
I’m reminded there are acts
Worse, than to wait and fret.
Seeking and living with pain
Must go hand in hand
As this is the cup I’ve drawn
And this is the gold I’ve panned.
While waiting is often necessary
There are nuggets in each day
If I but open my eyes and ears
I can weave gold from hay.
Where is the balance at hand?
What deductions have I?
Just to seek the help I need
And never fear a good war cry.
Like you I wait, I want, I wish
As life goes on each day,
I count the blessings all around me
Telling the wait, “Don’t get in my way.”