Between age and chronic illness

And keeping pain away

My body is ashamed

It’s betrayed me in all ways.

 

Everyday it’s something

I thank God that I’m not twins.

Where is the old me, I muse,

Hidden in my chins?

 

Time, disease and treatment

Have all taken their toll

How are you surviving?

Are you on a downward roll?

 

Do your boobs hang low?

Can you swing them to and fro?

Can you tie them in a knot?

Or do they hang too low?

 

For you men out there

You have other goods hang down

Just be careful where you step

Lest they hit the ground.

 

My ankles are kaput

My feet have both grown flat

My rear end disappeared

Somehow it’s just gone splat.

 

I was sitting in the bathtub

When my thighs floated to the top

They say it’s just the fat content

When will this destruction stop?

 

I’m trying to apply the brakes

I’m on the downward slide

My innards and my outers

All make me want to hide.

 

I have to exercise

Lest I trip and fall

Other days I forget to do it

I think, I can’t recall.

 

My joints, they are aching

My skin is in a rash

I have to watch all foods I eat

Dinner’s boring, so is my trash.

 

Everyday I have to trudge along

To keep these joints in shape

And a trip to any doctor

Involves so much red tape.

 

It seems to me this body

Is not really giving back

I invest in maintenance

And it just gives me flak.

 

Where’s all the respect

For all those vegetables I ate?

Don’t I get the credit?

I’m due a big rebate.

 

I wish for one lone day

I could just feel good.

Come on, give me a break

I did everything I should.

 

Aren’t I supposed to love myself?

Some days it feels like hate.

Maybe I got the wrong body

‘Cause this one isn’t great.

 

That’s it, I found the answer.

I’ll just return this one.

Perhaps they will pro-rate it

Based on all the work I’ve done.

 

So I’m off to scan the internet

Maybe EBay or Yahoo

I’ll exchange this body

And end this ballyhoo.

 

I wonder if a new me is covered,

By Medicare or private pay?

Who am I kidding, I can’t afford

The Fed Ex anyway.

 

Thus here I sit

Making peace with pieces of me,

Wait, I just remembered,

Amazon has shipping for free!