MY LIFE WITH CHRONIC PAIN

MY LIFE WITH CHRONIC PAIN
This pain is present every day,
Unyielding, oppressive, still there.
Why doesn’t it take a day off?
Who said life is always fair?

Inhabited by the unwanted
I feel victimized, possessed;
I ask myself all those questions,
What did I do? Was I too stressed?

How much is psychological?
How much is left to chance?
Will it get worse or better?
Should I take a reflective glance?

Depression displaced by anger,
I feel helpless, betrayed by fate.
Blaming myself, my parents, my genes
I face my own Watergate.

I begin to count my losses,
Labor through my grief,
My life, my body, my family,
All vandalized by this thief.

What can I expect to change?
What is always to be?
It seems all I valued before
Is now questioned, constantly.

Daily pain has rocked my world
As war, earthquake and flood,
As my own Richter scale responds
By changes deep within my blood.

I feel alienated from others,
Those vital, healthy and tanned
While I’m often despondent, alone,
An alien in my own homeland.

I often wallow and flounder,
Kicked by the foot of fate,
Yet each day I pass a mirror and say,
“This is your life! It’s getting late!”

Then it so often hits me,
I’ve had enough of this pit.
My life can’t lead me around
It’s I who must lead it.

I begin to look for solutions
If this pain is always to be.
Each day I look for hope in my life,
Imprisoned, I long to be free.

I take a daily inventory
Of all that I have left,
One day, I’ll stop asking, “Why?”
And begin feeling less bereft.

Instinctively, I reach out for joy,
Laughter feels so delicious inside
As it ripples through my body
Bringing its healing tide.

I’ve learned to love each day
Even the dark side and strife
For hidden within the heartache
Is a seed of renewal called life.

SUE FALKNER WOOD, 2006

I wrote this poem ten years ago and continue the daily fight against chronic pain, just as many of you do. It has been reprinted online on numerous sites as well as being published in a textbook in India. If I’m allowed to say so, it has always been a favorite of mine. It always rang true with me and how I felt at the time and continue to feel each day of my life. The battle rages on with its good times and bad.

102 thoughts on “MY LIFE WITH CHRONIC PAIN

  1. AS ALWAYS MUCH APPRECIATED SUE…….SO MUCH OF THAT RINGS TRUE FOR ME……BEST TO LOOK AT WE DO HAVE NOW, AND NOT WHAT WE HAD BEFORE, AND BE GRATEFUL…..MY DH ALWAYS SAYS, IF HE WAKES UP IN THE MORNING, AND CAN PUT HIS FEET TO THE FLOOR, AND HE CAN SEE, HE IS GRATEFUL…….LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU…JEN X

    • Hi Jen, your dear husband is a wise man. We waste far too much time on things we cannot change and that old clock waits for no one. Hope Claire’s pneumonia is much better. How’s your packing coming along? Moving, Ugh. We all hate it but the end result is almost always worth it. It will be such a blessing for you guys to get home to England. My thoughts and love are with you. Sue

  2. Thank you for writing this poignant & beautiful poem, dear Sue. Tears flow freely, reading my life & heart in another’s words & experience. So true all the thoughts & emotions, written very sweetly. I love you my friend & comrade in chronic pain & illness. I plan to share on Facebook, when you are ready to share it there. I know so many that will be equally blessed. Much love & may God bless you, dear Sue, from Terry

    • Terry, my dear FB friend. I do love seeing you on here. I’m pleased you identified with the poem but saddened that you had to. I had been sick almost twenty years when I wrote this and I tried to spill my heart right into it. I know most of us who suffer chronic pain have been in these places and thought these thoughts. Hope life is filled with joy for you in spite of the illness. Love you gal, Sue

  3. Sue
    Such good words that fit..I’ve had enough of the .pit, too. I I try to carry on regardless..if I can !
    I too feel do I blame my parents,or grandparents….so in a way I thought that was good that someone else can also think that,as it made me feel guilty too..how could I??…
    Yep look to today and live as best we can
    Hope all had a good weekend
    Oh sue you asked about the Monday holiday..it’s just a bank holiday to give folks a long weekend in the summer
    Gosh it poured yesterday and the thunder lasted for four hours and the house shook once
    Not been too good today cloudy humid and a bit dull
    Looked thru and sorted old stuff of ours and my dads…photos old books..letters to go out in attic .sad and life gone but still in my head
    Chris

    • Chris, well, how is everything working at the new house, or do I dare ask? What a series of discoveries you have made. I do hope they’re all getting better, i.e. the boiler, the garage door, etc. Sounds like quite a storm. I hate that when thunder shakes the house. It’s bit too noisy and a bit too much like an earthquake. I grew up in CA where we had earthquakes and hate those things only to move to OR and find they have them here, too.
      I know what you mean about the poem and blaming our parents. All of my sisters and I having rheumatoid disease used to worry my Mom. We got it from my Dad’s side of the family but she still worried about it.DNA is just a fact of life…a very basic fact.
      I bet going through your dear Dad’s things brought back lots of memories. I hope they were sweet in spite of your grief for him. What a year you have had. Thinking of you hope all is as well as can be for you and DH. Love, Sue

  4. Every bit as relevant today as it was in 2006. I pushed myself the past several days to do things I wanted to accomplish and be with people very special to me with my Scottish society and family. It was awesome. My body doesn’t think it but it was one of the best things for me emotionally I’ve done in a long time and the timing was great. I had been down due to the loss of my precious Nessie. Remi was feeling my physical strain of the past few days and has been in physical contact for hours. I hate that I need a service dog but am blessed to have one to steady my walking as well as let me know when walking isn’t a good plan (elevated fall risk because of spine issues or muscle fatigue).

    • Laura, I’m so glad you got together with the clan. I know it always perks you up to be with your dear Dad too. Thank God for sweet Remi. I know this has been a painful time for you and hope a bit of the grief is lessening. Nessie was indeed one of a kind.
      I originally wrote this poem not truly knowing how others felt but knowing how I felt. It’s interesting how so many of us think and experience the same things. Do take care and hug Remi, Love, Sue

  5. Good morning
    Sue, I love poetry that comes from the heart. There is much to be said for your ability at prose as well. I believe my great grandmother is to blame for me. And as far as I know, I am the only one who has this “Joy” in the family. I am pretty sure my Mother had FMS, even though it wasn’t diagnosed back then. She had all the symptoms. I don’t think I have really ever wondered “why me ?” But rather more of , “what do I do ow “. So many things are going by me, whether due to age or RA, or OA…that I just want to reach out and grab hold of something and slow it down ! I feel I am on a merry go round that is increasing speed faster and faster everyday.
    On the up side, I have lost 3.5 lounges in the last two weeks ! And that is still eating my ice cream Chris. I know Shaklee suggests that women get around 100 g of protien a day to maintain good weight control. I have been using all sorts of sources. I hear a flock of geese going over. Well, swim day. And a busy one afterwards, lot of stuff to get done here.
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, Hope your busy day goes well. I have to wrap some presents for my youngest GS who will be 13 tomorrow and bake him the cake he requested. Also have to go down and get some lab work done. Lovely here today. Hope it’s pleasant weather where you are for all you have planned. I know what you mean about all the physical problems. There should be a rule we can only have one malady at a time. We’re wearing out and all these ailments in bunches makes it all the more difficult. Must get some things done. Love you, Sue

    • Janet, thank you…yep, from my little old brain to yours. Hope you’re okay? Had that test yet? Wasn’t it an MRI? Love, Sue

  6. Hello all
    Well, short busy day. Seemed short went by so quickly. Got most of my work done before I ran out of steam. Still have to weed eat tomorrow after work, clean the lawn mower, check the horses hooves, and pick tomatoes. So I am very tired me ready for sleep.
    Sue I hope you got your things done, I know you will be busy tomorrow with the birthday boy. Hope you enjoy your time with him.
    Janet, so good to see you. Hope all is well with you. Take care and let us know what is going on with you, okay ?
    Have a good night all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, wow just hearing about your day tomorrow makes me fatigued. Sleep well and don’t overdo it. Have to make the cake in the morning. Never seem to get as much done as I plan. Mom’s old line, “My eyes were bigger than my stomach.” We have a long day in Portland coming on Thursday. Later, Love, Sue

  7. HELLO, AS ALWAYS SUE YOU TOUCHED MY HEART AGAIN TODAY. BEEN GOING THROUGH HARD TIMES LATELY WITH AUNTY. SHE WILL NOT LET ME COME TO SEE HER ANYMORE AND SHE TELLS ME AND MY COUSIN, DENISE WE KNOW WHY, WHEN WE DON’T UNDERSTAND. UNFORTUNETLY WE HAVE A COUSIN WHO BROUGHT HER TO LUNCH ON JULY 5th AND HIS WIFE DOES NOT BELIEVE THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH AUNTY AND SAID SHE WOULD MOVE HER BACK TO WHERE SHE USE TO LIVE. SHE IS KNOWN AS A TROUBLEMAKER IN THE FAMILY. SHE ASKED AUNTY FOR HER WILL, BANK ACCOUNTS, PLACEMENTS AND WHEN THEY ARE DUE AND HER LEASE. AUNTY HAD TO GIVE HER THAT INFO WITHIN 48 HOURS. WELL OF COURSE THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN BECAUSE WE BROUGHT HER THE INFO BUT ONCE WE SAT DOWN AND SPOKE WITH HER SHE UNDERSTOOD THIS WAS ALL WRONG. NOW SHE IS ONCE AGAIN LISTENING TO THIS PERSON AND TOLD ME WHEN I CALLED LAST FRIDAY TO BRING HER TOMATOES FROM MY GARDEN SHE TOLD ME SHE COULD NOT SEE ME OR DENISE FOR A WHILE. I KNOW IN MY HEART SHE IS NOW LISTENING TO THIS MONSTER OF A PERSON. WE DO HAVE THAT MEETING WITH THE GERIATRIC TEAM ON SEPT. FIRST AT THE HOSPITAL. I AM NOW WORRIED SHE WILL NOT LET ME INTO THE MEETING, IT IS HER CHOICE WHO SHE LET’S IN. I NEED LOTS OF PRAYERS FROM ALL OF YOU PLEASE. MY BODY IS REACTING TO ALL THIS STRESS AND I’M NOT SURE WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. I NEED GUIDANCE HERE FROM ANYONE WHO HAS GONE THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THIS. MY HEART IS BROKEN AND I FEEL MY SPIRT IS FOLLOWING. I NEED TO BE STRONG FOR THIS MEETING THAT I CERTAINLY WANT TO GO TO. MY COUSIN DENISE WILL BE ON THE PHONE WITH US CAUSE SHE JUST HAD A KNEE REPLACEMENT. DENISE ALSO TOLD ME IF AUNTY DECIDES TO LISTEN TO THEM, THEN THAT’S IT FOR HER, SHE WILL WALK AWAY. I CAN’T DO THAT, BUT NOT SURE WHAT TO DO. THEY LIVE 3 HOURS AWAY SO REALLY WILL NOT BE TAKING CARE OF AUNTY. SHE REALLY NEEDS HELP. HER EYESIGHT HAS GOTTEN WORSE BUT THEY THINK SHE CAN SEE FINE. OMG SO SORRY FOR GOING ON AND ON BUT THIS IS MY HAPPY AND SAFE PLACE TO ASK QUESTIONS. MY SISTER THINKS I SHOULD WALK AWAY ALSO. THERE IS A REASON I CAN’T, I’M SURE YOU CAN ALL FIGURE OUT WHY. ADOPTION……… I JUST CAN’T LOOSE HER AGAIN. BUT FEELS LIKE I’M BEING GIVEN AWAY ONCE MORE. I AM HAVING LOTS OF TROUBLE COPING WITH THIS. SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN IN MY LIFE CAUSE MY MOTHER IS HER SISTER. OKAY NEED TO STOP CAUSE NOW I AM CRYING AND I AM HAVING TROUBLE SEEING. JUST TO LET YOU KNOW MY COUSIN AND HIS WIFE, (WIFE CAUSING ALL THE TROUBLE) ALSO KNOW WHAT I JUST TOLD YOU ALL, AUNTY IS MY BIOLOGICAL MOTHER.
    LOVE TO ALL AND PLEASE PRAY FOR ME NOW BUT ESPECIALLY ON THURSDAY. THIS WILL BE ANOTHER VERY IMPORTANT DAY IN MY LIFE. THANK YOU ALL FOR LISTENING.
    GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
    XXX

    • Suzanne, good to finally hear from you but sorry you are so upset it is making you ill.My dear, I hope your aunt is protected by law by having someone as her guardian/or whatever you use according to Canadian law. She should have someone looking over her medical well being, to sign for her if she can’t give permission for something as well as having someone to be in charge of her financial interests. Old folks are very vulnerable to being taken for what they have. You can get the medical forms at the hospital and a lawyer to check the legal issues.
      Since you are so distraught over the “switch” for your identification of your true mother, I think it is a huge issue and you could be best served by seeking counseling. You need someone to decompress with, talk with who is educated to see the big picture. Please see a professional. We can offer some sympathy and try at the understanding about your health but there is so much going on in your family dynamics it is overwhelming.
      Please get some help with all of this. Thinking of you and all you’re going through. Sue

      • OH SUE JUSTWROTEYOUA LONG POST TELLING YOU WHAT HAPPENED TODAY AND LOST IT. I WILL TRY AGAIN TOMORROW. AUNTY THROUGH ME ON CE MORE OUT TO THE GARBAGE. SO SAD AND HAVING TROUBLE DEALING WITH IT. WONDER IF YOU HAVE WORDS OF WISDOM FOR ME.
        GOD BLESS YOU.

  8. Suzanne
    Oh my what a situation….many things going on In one situation…..Suzanne does your aunt in her mind now still know that she is your biological mother? Your cousin ,Denise,with the knee op is certainly in a different position to you in saying she will walk away and also your sister too
    I know that elderly people seem to like causing trouble with the family using devious means as well
    Maybe this meeting will be different to how you think it will go…..can you see anyone in charge of the meeting before you go to it
    It’s hard for you,and that’s an understatement,but the outcome will be what it is in the end…you are going thru such emotion with it now.all the platitudes won’t help and you have my prayers for a safe decision on Thursday
    Could you go and see your Auntie again as if nothing is happening before Thursday and not mention anything .it could settle her …
    It’s distressing for you. And it needs a wiser person than me to say anything on such a matter..but if it’s affecting you and your health like this you have got to look at it in a different way somehow. Can your sister or Denise talk about this with you?
    In the end your aunt must know it is you that will want to look after and see she is ok…..
    My prayers for you Suzanne….please feel better in all of this …it must be so consuming I can understand all the complicated feelings you must have . I don’t know what I would do and can only see me going along with it as you do.
    you have done so much for her that you can be proud of…just remember she is not in her right mind to know how this is affecting you.
    You must look after how you are firstly now..you can’t go on with all this emotion with your health.
    Thursday must seem like a big thing over you……but once you know the decision either way you must work out the best for you …I think I would tell if it were possible these people the whole situation …can you do that before Thursday? Would it be difficult for you?
    Love chris

    • Chris they know the situation and they just don’T CARE. I DID PHONE THEM AND SPOKE TO MY COUSIN WIFE (( SHE IS THE ONE CAUSING ALL THE PROBLEMS) SHE JUST LAUGHED AT ME AND TOLD ME SHE WOULD CONTINUE DOING WHAT SHE SAID SHE WOULD DO. MOVE AUNTY BACK TO WHERE SHE WAS. I KNOW IT IS EASY FOR DENISE AND Y SISTER CAROL TO SAY WALK AWAY BUT I DO NOT FEEL LIKE I CCAN DO THAT. YES AUNTY STILL KNOWS I’M HER BIO DAUGHTER BUT SHE TOLD ME SHE HAS HER LIFE TO LIVE… OH CHRIS I’M JUST NO FEELING RIGHT. RIGHT NOW. DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. EVERYONEAROUND ME IS TELLING ME TO WALK AWAY BUT I KNOW THEYWILL NOT TAKE CARE OF HER. SHE REALLY DOES NEED HELP RIGHT NOW BUT THEY ( MONSTERS) DON’T CARE. SO I SEE MYSELF PICKING UP THE PIECES WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE. JUST DON’T THINK HEALTH WISE I CAN POSSIBLY DO THAT. SO CONFUSED. THANK YOU CHRIS FOR LISTENING AND ALSO FOR GIVING ME ADVICE. IT FEELS. GOOD TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH A REAL FRIEND WHO IS NOT EMOTIONLY CONNECTED TO THIS. ONLY FOUND OUT THIS INFO WHEN I WAS 40 YRS OLD. SPENT ALL MY WEEKENDS WITH AUNTY WHILE GROWING UP AND MY SUMMER VACATION WITH HER UP AT HER COTTAGE AT THE LAKE. I COULD GO ON AND ON BUT…..
      THANK YOU CHRIS FOR THE PRAYERS, IT MEANS A WHOLE LOT TO ME. LOVE YOU AND GOD BLESS. I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED ON WHAT IS HAPPENING. XXX

      • SUZANNE…TRY AND KEEP CALM OR YOU ARE GOING TO BE REALLY ILL….I AGREE WITH ALL THAT CHRIS SAYS, AND KNOW I AM THINKING AND PRAYING FOR YOU DEAR FRIEND….YOU ARE NOT ALONE, THIS SITUATION WILL BE RESOLED, JUST STAY AS STRONG AS YOU CAN, OR YOU CANNOT HELP ANYONE……GOD BLESS…….JENNIE X

  9. Sue
    Have a good day with the family and GS party. Hope the cake went well I’m sure it did.
    You’ve been so busy lately
    Look after you back on Thursday. Such a long trip
    Tonie
    That’s a lot of weight to lose…youve done well..I had a big double scoop of caramel icecream the other day. Just sat in the car watching the world go by and eating it..along with DH too.trouble is I could eat another one ! Best to have it out as if I keep it in the freezer it would all be gone
    Just been up unblocking shower and sink plugholes left stuff in overnight and been clearing it.so back in bed now with ice pack on hip and maybe some sleep ,still earlyish
    Chris

  10. Suzanne
    Well maybe not walk away,but stand by and keep an eye open on it.is there anyone that can help you to pick up the pieces..social services…could you talk to them before Thursday?.could you say and your cousin impress upon them the problem
    Maybe she wants you to live your life too…do you think this is why she is doing this….but at least she knows that you have seen her safe up to this point when she wants to do this for herself
    It must have been stunning to find all this out at 40yrs.
    This other cousins wife sounds a right minx…..strange to come on the scene at this stage and be so rotten to you….has she always been this way?
    I pray you get some peace before Thursday with it all
    Live chris

    • HI CHRIS, I CAN HONESTLY SAY I DON’T REALLY KNOW HER. THEY DO NOT LIVE HERE SO I NEVER SEE THEM. DID SPEAK TO THE SOCIAL WORKER BUT SHE IS WORKING FOR AUNTY WHICH IS GREAT CAUSE SHE DOES KNOW EVERYTHING I’VE BEEN DOING. JUST SO TIRED NOW HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING AS I CAN NOT SHUT DOWN MY BRAIN. HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD DAY CHRIS. LOVE YOU. XXX

    • WELLCHRIS AFTER THE MEETING, THEY HAD TO LEAVE FAST. I HAD TO GOTO THE LOO AND ACTUALLY MET THEM IN THE HALLWAY.. WHEN I ASKED AUNTY WHERE SHE WAS GOING SHE TOLD ME FRANCINE HAD IT IN HER BOOK And THEN WALKEDAWAYFROM ME. WELL AUNTY’S PHONE NUMBER WAS ON MY PHONESO THOUGHT I WOULD CALL HER BACK ONLYTO FIND OUT THEY CHANGED HER NUMBER, SO NOW I REALLY CAN’T GET IN TOUCHWITH HER.
      JUST SO TIRED NOW HAVE TO TRYAND SLEEP. TOMORROW IWILL CALL THE SOCIAL WORKER ONCE MORE TO LET HER KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON. THANK YOUFOR BEING THERE FOR ME. SUE WAS ALSOTHERE BUT LOST THE POST HOPEFULLY TOMORROW IWILL BE ABLE TO WRITEWHAT HAPPENED AT THE MEETING. JUST NOT GOOD. LOVE YOU CHRIS FOR GUICDING ME ALONG THIS TREACHOROUSPATH I AM ON. DON’T WANT TO GIVE UP ON AUNTY BUT GUESS WE WILLHAVE TO WAIT AND SEE WHat HAPPENS after the dust settles LOVE YOU CHRIS AND ALL YOUR CARING. IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME XXX GOD BLESS YOU MY FRIEND .

      • Suzanne
        I am so sorry this has happened like this and what you must be feeling now.
        I would say the best is to look after yourself..talk it out with someone as Sue said
        Could you do your best after contacting the social workers to put it further from your thinking each day……or plan with yourself to only think about it for 15 mins each day at a set time…then leave it alone
        Others have made a decision and not you and so it’s you that’s important now and to enjoy things you do have like your lovely garden and family ..they must be such a good blessing for you to have right now
        Just try and gather some normality for yourself now
        You do something in the garden today if you can just even five mins with a coffee
        Love chris

  11. Chris, you’ve got to stop getting alarmed about your posts. THey almost always show up. It must just take longer from where you are. Maybe it would help if you just wait and click off and back on again. You can see it showed up. Hate for you to stress about it.
    Hope you will be having a good week. Much going on here. Yes, I think we will have a good celebration with our grandson for his big day. I’m looking forward to it. Later, Love, Sue

  12. HELLO……..WHEW THINGS GETTING SO BUSY HERE…….KNOW WHAT I MEAN CHRIS? THEN ALL THAT HAS GONE ON WITH CLAIRE, WHO IS NOW HOME, AND FOR EVERYONE WHO PRAYED FOR HER, I THANK YOU SO MUCH.

    SUE …IT WAS GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU, HOPE YOUR GD HAS A FAB BIRTHDAY….THIRTEEN, WOW! A TEENAGER, BET YOU CAN HARDLY BELIEVE WHERE THE TIME HAS GONE……X

    CHRIS……YES STOP STRESSING ABOUT MISSING POSTS, LOOK HOW MANY TIMES IT HAPPENS TO ME, WE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AND THEY WILL TURN UP, I TEND TO WAIT AWHILE, THEN TRY AND CATCH UP A BIT LATER ON…..ANOTHER HOT ONE TODAY, IS IT THE SAME IN THE UK? X

    MUCH LOVE TO ALL……X

  13. Hy all
    Well I’m ok about the posts coming on when I sign off then on..it’s just a while ago they would disappear and not come on at all. But that seems ok now so I just think oh no its happening again…so I shall relax…

    Jen it’s warm here but about 25c not too bad..the evenings are nice tho..went for a short walk by lake just down from us it was lovely .its nice to be able to just go for a walk without having to get in the car to a place .
    Sue
    I’m sure the party went good
    Be thinking about you tomorow
    Suzanne
    I do wish you could sleep well tonight.things go round and round in the brain I know .i don’t know the answer as I’m guilty of that. Just get Thursday over with and you can see what’s what
    Well I’m gonna try and sleep now,DH had early blood test tomorrow for his warfarin
    DD is coming over sat,evening to stay,p overnight looking forward to it.she always makes things brighter.
    Chris

    • Chris, Hope everything is going well. Hope DH’s lab work was within a good range. Are the last couple of problems with the house fixed yet? It’s going to be in perfect condition one of these days. How’s that naughty hip of yours? Plans to see the doctor?
      Yes, the party last night was good. We enjoyed ourselves and the birthday boy seemed pleased. As always he got a lot of great presents and everyone liked my cake. Yes, we’re going to Portland tomorrow, THursday. The time differences do make it a bit tricky to communicate sometimes, I know. It will be a long day starting early so good to have it over. Jim to the dermy, me to the pain clinic and the oncology office for treatments. Much to do today. Jim has a guy here right now checking our garage door which has swelled up making it hard to close. Hope to get it fixed soon. Love to you, Sue

      • Our new gate like your garage door has swelled and hitting the floor..or it has dropped a little..coming tomorow to do it
        DH inr was too low it’s all over the place now whereas for years it was ok
        It could be the bp meds ,he had to increase the dose it was too high again
        My hip,is fine today it was bad yesterday but ice seems to help really good
        Well all drains clear..they are running fine..everything is sorted out except gate and that’s tomorrow.omly been in 7 weeks on Friday and we’ve done a lot
        Also he will quote us for a brick wall and fence around the front…it will replace a battered fence and a climber gone mad .that will be the last for a while .a gardener came yesterday to cut a high shrub…mite have that cut right down so we can manage it
        Got new towels to match bathrooms…so can take a breather now.
        Oh no forgot new side garage and workshop door and window Saturday
        Bit worried about my bleed at back of eye…it’s a flame one on the optic nerve ..and my mum and g.dad had glaucoma ..so put it on the back burner it could be just a cough or sneeze that did it ..my pressures were OK in eye
        On your drive to Portland you can reminisce on the party . The pain clinic dr will be pleased you are enjoying life more and getting out and about
        Have a safe trip both of you
        Chris

  14. This poem, to me, reflects the myriad of emotions we can experience on this journey of a chronic pain/illness life. And honestly Sue many of us likely, every once in awhile, can go through the gamete of emotions in a day.
    The alienation from friends is so real; once I couldn’t do the 4-wheelers, camping, and plans got cancelled because our bodies are unpredictable. I feel their loss but don’t really blame them. I do have a wonderful husband, kids and gkids (and a new one on the way!!!) Who fill my life. I have back yard I enjoy piddling in. I’m blessed with awesome memories of the fun I used to have and was lucky enough to experience! And you Sue encouraged me to look at it that way. And I appreciate it! As always thanks for a thought provoking writing.

    • Lori, Congratulations on a new grandchild being on the way. That’s wonderful. I miss having babies and toddlers around. My youngest of six grands is now ten years old. Our kids and grands can bring such joy and meaning to our lives. I think they also help us realize life is lived in stations and we can either be in grief over each lost stage that is changing or we can look forward to the future.
      You’re right, we can experience these feelings in one day or they can come back after a year or more and slap us in the face. When I couldn’t practice nursing any longer ER was a big show on TV and I couldn’t watch it. It was just too painful to see all things medical because i missed it all so much. Today is my youngest grandson’s thirteenth birthday and I made his favorite lemon jello cake and have to get ready to go over there for dinner. Thanks for writing and thanks for identifying with the poem. Fondly, Sue

  15. Sue, clearly this poem speaks to so many. I am so pleased it has been published many times. 🙂 I’m sure GS’s birthday was great. I believe you picked up something special for him. I’m sure he liked it.

    Suzanne, you shall receive some special prayers. I’m so, so sorry you are having to deal with this. Some people really should know when to butt out. And knowing your biological history, too. Unbelievable.

    Tonie, kudos! Glad you had a great time.

    Jen, such good news of Claire’s improvement. Will pray for it to continue.

    Finally over that nasty flare, I think. I feel like my “normal” finally. Laura, sorry you are now in one, but it makes perfect sense. So glad you have Remi. I know it is so hard saying goodbye to Nessie and missing her so.

    Blessings, all.

  16. Morning all
    Suzanne, prayers dear for all that you are experiencing. I can’t begin to understand, but hope in your faith you will turn it over to One who has all the answers.
    Lori, congrats on the grandbaby. Like Sue, my youngest grand out of 10 is 5 now. So no more babies. Except ….great grands. I have one and another on the way. However, they are in Az and I in Va. I have a little farm of my own that I tinker with, chickens, gardens and horses. Doing what I can to stay in the outdoors .
    Jennie, so happy that Claire is better. God is good. Only a couple months more and you will be reunited with them.
    Lyn, glad you are feeling better. How is Lily ?
    Chris, nice to spend time with your daughter. Enjoy all your time together.
    Yesterday my knee went kaboom. Not sure what is going on. But I can barely walk on it. Spent the evening in my brace and then icing it. This morning it feels very stiff inside. I wonder if where the pain Dr scraped against the bone, could that have irritated it that much ? I have put some voltaran crime on it along with some Tiger Balm this am. I wanted to go swim after work. I will ask the retired ortho I work for if he thinks I should or if it will irritate it more. My appt is not until next Friday. When it rains ……
    Did I tell you that Rufus the rooster pulled an all nighter ? Yep , last week. They were out on Judys land and I brought them in and shut the gate…but when I shut them up he was MIA. Scared me, I looked everywhere and couldn’t find him. Next morning, I could hear him, but not see him. Finally he showed up at the gate wanting in. Just needed time alone I guess. Haha. All those women.
    I see they have a new Fitbit you can wear when you swim. I must have it ! We will see. Other things I need more.
    Well I must get going. Others I am missing your presence here.
    Sue, I know you enjoyed your evening
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, If I had a vote about swimming and a knee that went south yesterday, I would vote for heat and rest. Hope it gets back to half normal soon. As I recall you have had some problems but not to this degree previously.
      So Rufus had a night out? Good ol’ rooster. Glad he came home.
      We had a good evening with the kids. The gift Jim and I drove down the coast to get for GS was from a special little shop down there run by a well known treasure seeker. GS is really into old artifacts and finds thanks to the pirate movies and the books in the Treasure Seekers series by James Patterson. We got him two coins from ship wrecks, well over two hundred years old. He was thrilled and the diver who owns the shop signed a book he wrote to GS.
      Hope your busy day was not totally interrupted by that knee. Portland tomorrow for us. Love, Sue

    • I HAVE ALWAYS HAD GOD IN MY LIFE TONIE AND I DO KNOW HE IS STANDING RIGHT WITH ME IN THESE TROUBLE TIMES.
      HAPPY RUFUS CAME BACK HOME. LOVE YOU AND DO PACE YOURSELF TONIE.
      MAYBE A LITTLE REST FOR THAT KNEE WOULD BE GOOD BUT YOU KNOW YOUR BODY TONIE. JUST BE KIND TO YOU. XXX

  17. Chris, hope you find this since no reply line beneath your last comment. Sounds like your English weather causes some of the problems with wood, etc. that our Oregon weather brings about. We just had all four of our garage door rebuilt, custom and expensive, a few years ago so have to take care of them plus we use them often. Sounds like you are ticking off those projects one by one. As far as DH’s clotting time, I would imagine his B/P meds could affect it. It can all get very complicated.
    How was your time with DD? Hope you are enjoying having family in your lovely new home. I know about shrubs that are too tall to trim. We also have a huge hedge as well as bushes. We have a lovely lilac bush but can only see the flowers from the second floor.
    Glad your hip is feeling better today. SOunds like it is very tied into your activities. I hate that but like all of you I also have to often pay the price for one activity or another. Must get to work, oh I almost forgot. You and your DH would enjoy the special gifts we got down by the beach at the shop the other day for GS. They are old coins. One was from the Dutch E. Indies trading company and the other British. Both from shipwrecks and found by the diver/treasure seeker who owns the shop. Very interesting with documents, history etc. GS is really into that. Later, Love, Sue

    • Just think those films you watched with GS gave him all that interest ….and maybe his future…
      He must have been thrilled with that present ,how good to have a shop like that to look around..it sounds like a trip there again ! Yes we love anything like that..we would be lost forever there…
      DD isn’t coming till Saturday she is in London at the moment working ,just come back from soho for a meal with work mates
      Ok gonna sleep…hopefully ..tried before but got up to do some ironing
      Hairdressers tomorow
      Chris

      • Hi Chris, sounds like you’re not sleeping that much better. I was hoping the new mattress would help. Indeed it is a fascinating shop. The owner/diver said he has several teens who save up their money for certain things and come in every few months. It’s good because they get the whole story of the find.
        Have fun Sat. with DD. Love you..dread the trip tomorrow but must do. Sue

      • Chris, yes, GS seemed pleased with the ancient coins. He’s also inspired by the James Patterson books for him in the Treasure hunter series. We also gave him a Lego set. Kids have to play. Hope you and your DD have a good visit Sat. Long day yesterday with oncology treatment and pain clinic. So much sitting. Pain doctor is a keeper this time. SHe asked me if I had a pillow in the car. I said, oh yes a memory foam one and the seat heats, cools and vibrates. It’s true. Eyes giving me lots of trouble today so will cut this off. Too much wind and heater yesterday in the car. More drops needed. Love, Sue

  18. Hey Jennie, hope you are pushing forward with the plans for the move. So much to think about, I know. All the littlest details play in your mind when you try to sleep. How’s the body? Are your feet better? Glad your weather has cooled. That stifling heat is why we left CA, among other things.
    How does one move from across the water to another country? DO you pack crates? Hope you’re finding a few places to move to and can be thinking about a decision in Sept. SSSooooo much to do. Miss you on here, though. Love, Sue

  19. Hello all
    Lost a big post yesterday morning, wouldn’t let me on. Then my internet is down due to someone hitting a phone pole. Tomorrow he will be out. The repairman is the previous owner of Red, so it will be a visit as well. Got a call from my FM this morning. Pray for him and his swift departure from teaching. He is in two schools this year, one is very good the other “difficult” meaning he has a lot more teenage boys who are Muslim to deal with, He says it is scary and so much to deal with. Usually he has classes for kids who are delinquents I am assuming this is what he means.
    Sue, I only swam 10 laps yesterday. It started storming and the pool is not grounded, so I had to get out. It was helping though. Much better today, but the hip is out of whack. I think of you Chris. Must try some ice as well. Of course if I would stay off it , might help also.
    This weekend I hope to finish the old chairs that go with my table of Mothers. And clean out some things in the shed. Might go swim in the am. Sue so glad you had a good time and most assuredly, gs loved his coins and book !
    Well, have to get Ms Alice I. The shower
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, I will pray that your dearest man gets his retirement and get on with his life with you. I can’t imagine how painful it must be for him to see his country change so much. Prays for his safety.
      Yes, GS had a good birthday. SIL’s brother still in the hospital so it’s been a hectic couple of weeks for SIL and Beth. Hopefully he’ll be coming home today.
      Hope you feel like refinishing the chairs. Sounds like a great set with so much sentimental value. Sorry about your hip. How’s the knee doing? You might try some of the over the counter creams on the market. This prescription cream I have, that I got ordered from the pain doc I hated, helps my bad knees. At least I got one thing out of that visit. I love the new pain doc. She was surprised the low dose Lyrica helped me so much. Told me I must be sensitive to meds….duh. Starting on a new pain med when the pharmacy gets it in next week. It’s a dermal path. Love to you, Sue

  20. Ya’all say a prayer for my Baby horse. She cut a long gash on her face, just skin, not meat. Been long enough the skin is swollen and pulled back so I can’t close it. I cleaned it and filled it with pain killing antibiotic cream. She is fine, eating and drinking. Her bottom is bad again as well. Not sure if it was the heat or it is just getting worse. But we both need your prayers okay ?
    I am sitting on the porch recovering from my ordeal. I will just have to keep it clean and she will be okay there, not sure though about the other end of her. Just have to keep an eye out for when she can’t poop anymore.
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie
      The poor horse..what a shock for you to see
      Hope you are ok now
      Let’s hope that FM gets his retirement soon now,so he can come back to you
      A Lot to deal with and hope the horse is getting better now
      Yes Ice seems to help me a lot
      Hope your weekend turns out ok and you get the chairs done
      Chris

  21. Chris
    She looks much better this morning. I prayed for her all night. Cleaned the wound again this morning and filled it with the cream again. She is happy and let’s me fix it without tying her up. So she knows I am helping her.
    Foggy and overcast this morning. We have weather today from the tropical storm on the coast. Going to swim now. Must go the longer way in to avoid town. The largest flea market in the US takes over the town. Has a estimated 350,000 visitors over the 4 days !
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, I pray Baby is better today. I know how concerned you are and also know you know what you’re doing. Do you ever use any of the homeopathic pills? It’s great she is so trusting which also proves you aren’t hurting her that much. Wow, I agree with Chris. Can’t imagine that much traffic for that many people.Bet it’s one heck of a show to attend and must take days to see half of it. Hope you got in your swimming.
      Long day for us yesterday. Left here before 7 AM and got home after 7 PM in a rainstorm. I’ve been on heating pad all day for my sore behind.It’s not just the traveling, it’s those enormous shots in each side. THey let me lie down for the IV infusion at the oncologists and that helps to get off of it. All those chairs…bad. Jim had a bit of himself taken off again at the dermy’s office but he’s doing well. George was glad to get home. He slept in this morning along with his Mama…me. Hope you don’t get whipped around too much by that storm. Stay safe. Love, Sue

  22. Blimey tonie that many people…it must be good ..if FM were there he’d wanna go!
    Glad she is better today..animals know who’s good to them
    There was a dog limping in pain some years ago..DH saw it had a thorn in its paw..the big black dog allowed him to take it out… We patted him and walked on…he walked a few steps his way..and must have felt better…he raced up to us and tried to talk to us as if he were human.and we patted him and he walked on but we all kept looking back at each other !
    They say we are going to get a bit of that storm too
    Just had a light meal in the conservatory and read then bed
    All have a good week end
    Chris

  23. Suzanne, sorry things went badly for you with your aunt yesterday. You are far too distraught over this turn of events. I don’t think it is our place to comment because we don’t really have all the facts. You really should do as I suggested earlier and get some counseling to help you deal with this enormous, emotionally charged situation. I hope the social worker is there for your aunty. Thinking of you, Sue

    • SUE, YES THE SOCIAL WORKER IS THERE FOR AUNTY. THANK GOODNESS I GOT HER ON THIS CASE TWO YEARS AGO. SHE KNOWS WHAT IS HAPPENING.HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A NICE LABOUR DAY . LOVE YOU LOTS. TAKE GOOD CARE OF EACH OTHER. XXX

      • Suzanne, I am not as concerned about your family problems as I am your stress level and problem. Do you have any plans to get counseling or help before you bust? This is a very complex issue that is obviously affecting you greatly both mentally and in your body. Please. Sue

  24. Good morning all
    Well my swim helped my knee and hip very much, still hurts just not so badly. Slept in this morning, it was very cool here last night. I turned off the fans and pulled up the covers ! But…back in the 80’s today. It is so nice to have my Roomba working again. She is cleaning cleaning, while I have my breakfast. Wonderful invention that, right Sue ? I am getting the fall doldrums already. Achy and tired with a sniffly nose. But, have much to do today. Need to finish my cleaning and clean off the porch, decorate it ( yes!) and I have some plants to repot. It has been a wonderful busy summer for us all. Now is coming the time to ready for cold ( most of us) moving for Jen, settling in and celebrating the beautiful colors of fall.
    Okay, I must get finished and go check on Baby. She saw me opening the chicken shed, but wouldn’t come down, so I must go get her.
    Here’s hoping you all have a wonderful weekend and Labor Day , and Banking Day !
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, hope your hip and knee are still feeling better today. How is Baby’s injury? Hope each day it looks better. Fall is definitely in the air out here, also. Bit of rain yesterday then clearing. Still recovering from trip and treatment here. Still fighting fleas for Georgie. Got new drops for neck because I’m too afraid to use the oral stuff with such a small critter. Take care and hope you get some rest today…day of rest and worship. Love, Sue

      • HI TONIE, YOU ALWAYS KEEP SO BUSY. SUCH AN INSPIRATION. HOPE BABY IS DOING BETTER TODAY. HAPPY LABOUR DAY TO YOU TOO SWEET PEA. PACE YOURSELF PLEASE. HOW IS THAT KNEE DOING. LOTS OF LOVE GOING YOUR WAY. XXX

  25. Toni’s
    Hope baby is ok
    I’m in bed eating chocolate!
    Glad your hip is feeling better it’s cold here tonite too..it’s rained nearly all day.and the bloke putting in the doors outside got soaked..we’ve tidied all up now and swept etc ..so chocolate was so bad but worked for it!
    DD didn’t come over she went with some friends somewhere and is coming over tomorrow and coming to stay next Saturday now…..kids!….
    What’s your banking day is it like our bank holidays?
    Sue
    Hope your picking up from Thursday .have I missed something about your SIL brother? Wasn’t he the one who has the lovely old house..us he ill?
    Chris

    • Chris, indeed it sounds like you did earn the chocolate. Sorry about the workman…bloke, getting soaked but at least you solved another problem. Our Labor Day is a special day for all the working people to have and most use it for one last trip or fling before fall and winter is upon us. So you’ll enjoy DD a week later. Hope all is well with her. Much going on today so will chat later. See email I sent you. Love, Sue

  26. I posted to everyone……now its all gone, and my hands hurt too much to repeat it all, and I can’t remember what I put cos my mind is all over the place……Tonie, I remember about Baby, hope she is getting better…..and Sue you are in recovery from you usual horrid ordeal with a sore bum…..Chris was stuffing her face with chocs, in bed….decadent.
    So sorry if I forgot the rest, and wish you all happy Sunday………………..sale of house still jogging on, but massive problems causing complete lack of sleep, so running on empty………xxxxx Jennie

  27. Jen
    Ain’t it a bummer when that happens….just lately mine have been coming when I go out and in again..but sometimes they don’t…..and as fate would have it its the longish posts!
    Them massive problems ..no solution to it just keep there with it and remember you want to be ok at the end of it..so take it easy if you can….I know it looks so much ,another country to get to as well. All so much to think to do….you will do it my friend you got backbone…..well still with the arthritis!
    Yea well I ate too much of everything and I swear my tum is bigger….it was worth it but back on better eating tommorow

    DD came over for the afternoon . She rearranged some of my bits and pieces about ,said it looked better..I suppose I’ll have to keep them there for a while…..picked some plums from the garden
    And said the best she’s had…..and said its better than the shed on the coast here…so that’s good.it means she feels relaxed here and I like that
    She’s coming over next Saturday and I think we’ll go shopping in town for things
    Labour day would be like our bank holidays here and we’ve just had one for the end of summer too
    And it’s so like autumn here as well…only 5 weeks ago we were sitting out finishing a BBQ and now it’s dark and has been for a while and in bed
    Ok gotta go
    Chris

    • HAPPY LABOUR DAY CHRIS. EATING CHOCOLATE INBED…… WHAT A NICE PIC IN MY HEAD. YOU CERTAINLY DESERVE IT CHRIS. SO MUCH GOING ON. PRAYING FOR YOU AND DH. LOVE YOU MY FRIEND. GOD BLESS. XXX

    • Chris, glad your life is simplifying a bit now. Also good you got to see DD. Sometimes our lives get so isolated and usually, if the relationship is a good one, we love to see family, especially our kids.Yes, fall is dropping over here, too. You can even smell it in the air. Cool here today, rain tomorrow then warming up later in the week. Our weather changes a great deal now that I think about it. Hope your weather stays okay for you and DD to go shopping next weekend. Lazy weekend here.
      Do you ever notice how many things we as women do that is repetitive? All of our housework and laundry as well as garden chores. I find all I can do in keeping up with all of those things and have no energy for fun stuff. ULove, Sue

      • Yes certainly repetitive…don’t it seem like a waste of time sometimes…just more of the same. Sometimes just the weekly chores seem overwhelming .and how do you get going with it and all other stuff done.. Well I just start at the top and keep on going,but it’s so boring .back in my twenties I was so eager to do them all…..did life just happen and get in the way?..Enough…
        Well I’m awake….stained some trellis yesterday to go on a wall and just been out to garage to turn them around to dry…It’s 3.30 am here.ive been reading also
        The gate man never came yesterday to fix the new gate ,he was supposed to come about 4 ish.but no show…shall have to ring today.left message on phone last night tho
        We are supposed to have a few hot days in the week probably the last now,weather is very changeable at moment.
        Yep back to the chores thing…it’s all work and no play .just no energy really. Also it’s the time for it…the days just go so quick.
        Well back to my book..oh how are your eyes you mentioned they were still no better.,..
        Chris

  28. Happy Labor Day, everyone!
    Still in a bit of a flare here with some new bits and pieces to deal with. Oh the joys. I hope all are enjoying a nice, quiet day with family and friends. For our friends outside the US, wishing you a lovely day wherever you are, and whatever you are doing.

    • Lyn, Trust you are continuing to improve. These darn flares seem to have many lengths. Don’t you sometimes wish life could be more predictable? I know you must because I sure do. Have a good weekend and please, hopefully, feel better. Love, Sue

  29. HAPPY LABOUR DAY LYN, WE ALSO CELEBRATE IT HERE IN CANADA. JUST LAYING LOW TODAY AND TOMORROW DH AND I WILL GET BACK TO CANNING AND FREEZING OUR FABULOUS HARVEST. DH KEEPING ME BUSY TO HELP ME FROM THINKING OF ALL THAT IS GOING WRONG RIGHT NOW. THANKS LYN FOR THINKING OF ME ABOUT THIS MESSED UP SITUATION. HOPE YOUR FLARE STOPS SOON. PEACE TO YOU MY FRIEND. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. XXX

  30. Suzanne
    I hope the social worker can do some sorting out for you
    Please think about what Sue has said
    Lyn
    Hope the flare has calmed down for you now .hope you enjoyed the weekend and rested
    Jen
    How’s it going? Did Claire go away? Did she get the test results? How you?
    Chris

    • HI CHRIS, I WILL PM YOU THE ANSWER TO THAT. AS SUE SAID THIS IS NOT THE PLACE CAUSE YOU ALL DON’T HAVE THE FACTS. I WILL RESPECT THAT. YES I AM GIVING GREAT THOUGHT TO WHAT SUE SAID. VERY HARD TO FIND SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS ENGLISH AROUND HERE. I’M THINKING ONCE I SEE MY DOC, HE WOULD PROBABLY KNOW SOMEONE WHO WOULD BE ABLE TO HELP ME. MY YOU SEEM TO BE GETTING THINGS DONE SO FAST. DO YOU HAVE ANY PICS OF YOUR NEW HOME, IF SO WOULD LOVE TO SEE THEM. OF COURSE ONLY WHEN YOU WOULD HAVE TIME AND FEEL LIKE IT. KEEP SHINING CHRIS. SO NICE FOR BOTH OF YOU TO BE ABLE TO SEE YOUR DD MORE OFTEN NOW. GOD BLESS YOU. LOVE, HUGS &XXX

  31. Mmmm….strange I’m all different colours pink and green on here…
    Anyway I’m off to sleep…wish I had some chocolate it’s all gone and no icecream..bummer
    Chris

  32. Chris, I guess that old adage about a woman’s work never being done started somewhere. Don’t you hate it when someone you are waiting for to do a job doesn’t show? I find it so inconsiderate. I’m one of those disgusting folks who would prefer being early…anywhere and I’m always waiting for Jim to get ready. He’s always late.
    I love the sound of your indoor trellis. I used one years ago as a headboard on the bed for one of the kids. I love the look of a trellis whether in or out.
    I’ve had more pain since this last few days. Too much traveling, sitting and waiting, etc. No, I’m afraid my eyes are not better as I had hoped. They’re especially bad after traveling…aren’t yours dry after travel? I just keep using all the drops I have on hand.. I have as much pain but seem to tolerate it better with the Lyrica low dose. Hope it lasts. Enjoy your book. I read in short bursts. Miss it. Do be good to yourself. Love, Sue

  33. Good morning all
    Hope you all had a good holiday yesterday. Me, I was doing work around the house. Trying to get the last bits done before the cold weather starts. It is warm during the day, beautiful really and very cool at night. The doggies are getting Basic H sprays every morning and night to kill all the fleas. Washed all their bedding twice this weekend. And them. Now just wet them really good with the spray, seems to be doing the job. Also works for flies on the horses. Baby was hollering for me yesterday morning. I think her face was hurting. I fixed it twice yesterday. It is healing, no signs of infection …just takes time
    Chris, Sue, I so agree with the housework stuff, Never done ! I hate it, always have and more so now. Love my Roomba. Can’t use the Scooba, not enough floor space and it gets confused and stuck, so I have a Spin Mop I use. Wonderful thing. Chris, I am out of chocolate as well. Was looking for some last night,,,trying to stay out of the ice cream for once. Needed up with an apple ( blah). At night I want my treat. Couldn’t sleep last night, even though I was tired. It was like I had taken some prednisone . So hyper feeling. So today I am really tired. Got asked to stay late on Thursday so they can meet with a lawyer. Oh boy, my bad day. So yeah I will. Need to pay for the hay coming this month.
    Hope you all have a good day.
    Tonie

    • Tonie, we had a power outage all morning so finally back on. Our generator did not pitch in because the battery is apparently dead. Have the guy coming out from Portland who services it every year on Friday. Pleased to hear Baby is healing.Bless her. Maybe she was just lonely for you. Your weather sounds great. I wonder what was going on last night? Hope you sleep well tonight and can stay awake today if must. Now I need to take a shower after waiting all morning. Rain here. Love ya, Sue

  34. Morning all
    Got a call from a gal I went to school with yesterday. She has lost her mother and her father is alone. Wants to hire me to go back twice a week and cook him a good meal, give him a little company for a bit. I am going to give it a try, a few afternoon hours on Mnday and Friday, help him and me also. He is almost 90 and getting a little dimentia she says. One sister live a few miles away but is just too exhausted after work to go see her Dad. Lord spare me from these self serving children. You reap what you sow.
    Well, must get ready to go to Ms Alice. Have a great day all
    Love
    Tonie

    • Tonie, Glad to hear you’ve got yet another opportunity for some income. Sounds really good and I know you’ll be good with the man unless he’s a real pain. You never know the family dynamics of folks. It could be, I’m just saying, that the father may be reaping something he did, as well.
      How’s Ms. Alice doing? Seems like you are awfully busy with work and your farm chores. Hope Baby is better now. Having beautiful weather here today after two days of rain. Grands coming over after school today. Our cable TV is out and we had to change boxes. There’s been a lot of swearing and expletives coming from the general direction of my DH as he works on reconnecting it with new box and new remote. Maybe the grands can help? Later, do take care of you, Love, Sue

  35. Tonie
    This will all keep you busy till FM comes back..all good
    How’s the house sitting project ?

    Went to a country park today..spent most of day there.weather just right
    They lend buggies for free..so I was able to go around the lakes.
    I walked a little bit ,but only my usual amount then I went further on wheels
    Had a picnic and read my book when DH photos stuff
    It was nice
    Nice evening I love the feeling of this tine of year..birds seem more so. Colours great
    The Gate got fixed ok
    Oh sue I’m one of those early people..if you are on time only, your late!
    I can’t make out anyone who’s always late..what do they do if you arrange a time.. what happens!
    The trellis was for a wall outside,infact a number of them we are painting green and putting up
    Yes I like them inside too anything that’s unusual ,different
    Well it’s 8 pm,been dark for a while….that’s come on so quick this year …maybe as we’ve been busy
    Hope all ok
    Chris

  36. Morning all
    Busy day ahead, hope I have the strength to pull it off. Have to stay late with Ms Alice, til maybe 5 or later. Then I have to drive about 60 miles to my cousins home. She lost her husband yesterday. I won’t be in time for the visitation, but will go by her home. So sad. We all get old and must pass on, but those left behind are still here to carry on. He was in his 80’s. Not sure exactly. I was always close to her growing up. Stayed at her house a lot and she taught me piano some as well. I baby sat and she taught me piano, so it worked out.
    Chris sounds like you had a good time. That is always nice. Yes, I should be busy and hopefully help this man not be so lonely. I love older people and feel so bad when they are left on their own like that.
    I a, all for the different in decorating. When I moved in here, I bought and old kitchen table to use for a tv stand., has room for all the DVDs players, Bose radio, telephone, etc and underneath are the dogs feeding stations I have on a boot tray . Small spaces you make do with the room you have right ?
    Well, gotta run. Take care all.
    Love
    Tonie

    • Tonie, Sounds like you, Chris and I all go in for eclectic or funky decor. I think it makes life more fun to have a variety to see every day. I am sorry to hear about the loss of your cousin’s husband. SOunds like you have some very special memories of her. Seems like those memories become more and more important to us the older we get. Hope today the Lord gives you some extra strength to make it through. Is Fall in the air back there? It sure feels like it out here.
      I think working with Ms Alice has given you a greater awareness of what many of the elderly suffer. Growing old is so painful and even more so for those who are left alone. I have several friends who are widowed and find their plight the hardest. The attitude of the elderly person has a great deal to do with their plight. I do believe there are some who use growing old as an excuse to become angry and testy to others around them therefore making it difficult for those who love and care about them. It’s important at any age to do unto others. Hope today goes well for you. Love ya much, Sue

      • Sue
        Made it through the day. Home in bed, with the AC on ! So , in answer …nope fall is not in the air yet. And tomorrow, I need to pick up a plug for my living room AC, as it shorted out yesterday. Made it to the visitation, but my cousin wanted me to go to the house. So… Sat and talked with her. You and Chris would love her home. Two story Victorian farmhouse full of eclectic things like we were speaking of. Along with piles of quilts, crocheted doilies, pot holders, etc. one of my favorite things was an old piano stool ( the round kind that acres up and down) and she painted it punk and used it for a plant stand ! Two or three, I forget , China cabinets full of hers and her moms antique dishes, tea pots, and pitchers. I always loved Her house, cause she lives in it ! Too bad FM didn’t see it, he thinks my house is full !
        Well, Code Black is on and I am going down !
        Love ya
        Tonie

  37. I bet that kitchen table looks great…I love it when there’s another life for stuff.i don’t like matchy matchy things..like a show room with no heart
    This area we have moved to…well everyone talks to you and introduces themselves..it’s great.where we were before they were so busy and never bothered to even see you when walking by.it makes you feel good
    Well mite go to coast tomorrow ..see how we are ,take a picnic too.
    Did I say they have sold our shed again
    Mite go in and see those we still know there
    Yes my eyes get sore travelling sue..I put drops in all day.also when they put salt on roads in winter they are bad
    Hope your back is easing
    Chris

    • Chris and Tonie, I forgot to mention Tonie that Beth has an old gate-legged table of mine that my Dad gave me years ago. It’s been painted, etc. It has heart, you know? It continues to serve many purposes. Some of the few antiques I have belonged to my parents. I love them for many uses. I have a wonderful old coal scuttle I use for my big box of Shaklee laundry detergent.
      Chris, your new neighborhood sounds lovely. Nice to have friendly neighbors. We still haven’t met the new neighbor who is renting the apartment next door in a big old house. He’s the one who crushed the front of Jim’s Camaro. Don’t think Jim is ready to meet him yet…maybe after the car is fixed.
      Yes, the eyes are such a problem. I can imagine how bad they get with salty spray from the roads. Sometimes it’s bad enough dealing with the wind from exhaust. Since George gets carsick I always try to have fresh air in the car for him. It’s impossible to give him Dramamine. We’ve tried and he’s wise to cheese now. Just bought some pill pocket treats to try.Anyway, back to the eyes…I now have eye drops for allergies, OTC moisture drops and a cortisone drop. Ugh. Two of those are prescriptions, one is not. Don’t you find you get more eye fatigue on the computer when they get dry. I’m always forgetting the drops til that happens.
      Hope you get to the coast. I know how refreshing that is to the both of you.

      • Yea..my eyes seem as if they ache ..and with so many drops in its a struggle to see
        Poor clever little George. …
        How long will it take to fix jims car..I’d forgot about that wasn’t it a while ago…is that neighbours ins.paying?
        Nice to see stuff handed down…DD has a few things like that too…it’s bitter sweet to see
        I have two teapots from my great grand.handed Down….but they are black and I’m struggling to find a home..she bought them from a local market in about 18something and they are printed with queen Victoria …..black was the colour then…..I know it’s trendy now…but these look funerial..and Im struggling ..so they are in a cupboard ..shame .but I will come up with summat
        Chris

  38. Sue
    Forgot to add that Ms Alice is okay. But she gets depressed as well. As far as the new gig, I will see how it goes. If he is too much, then….they can find someone else.
    Hope you had a good day with the kids. And that they helped Poppa with hooking up the cable.
    Love ya
    Tonie

  39. Tonie
    I love the way FM comes into your life now in the way you talk about things
    Yes it certainly seems he should have seen the house
    It must have been good for her to see and chat to you
    Don’t your eyes wander over a full house just looking..you don’t like to appear nosey but it’s hard not to ..But I think they would be pleased to see it admired
    Ok gotta start the day.if DH ok going to coast
    Chris

  40. Yea…went to coast
    Lovely day,we were lucky
    Went to visit some shops first for me…then coastal scenery for the rest .had a picnic
    And sat for tea and scone in a peculiar little garden of a very odd place….It was nice and different and charming
    Came back and sat in conservatory with some soda bread I bought in another odd place and stuff to go with it.
    So I’m all odded out now!
    In bed and hope I sleep ..been taking some ranitidine and don’t feel too good with it
    Hope all doing ok
    Chris

    • Chris, sounds like you went to a new chunk of coast to visit. What a lovely day of photos for DH and interesting shops and sights for you. I agree with Tonie the tearooms sound so charming and old and peaceful. Odd places huh? Sounds like something out of Harry Potter. Did you buy anything besides the soda bread? I haven’t seen any of that in years. My Mom used to buy it all the time. I think that must be one of the wonderful aspects of having tea time…all the “other” things you get to eat that are such a treat.
      I know what you mean about the black china. I don’t usually lean that way myself. I have Royal Albert roses and love them. But it is always wonderful to have things that were handed down. My Mom went into a convalescent home for six years before she died and most of her things went into storage sheds at my sisters. I got a few things from her when we lived close to each other several years ago. Jim and bought a couple of her antiques from her instead of inheriting because she needed the funds. SHe didn’t plan to live to be 93. Since I never hear from my last sister, don’t know what happened to so many things. My niece and my DD have been doing the ancestor search thing and are coming up with some fun things like the fact our Mom’s family was part Native American. That was on my grandma’s side because I know my grandpa was English. Those searches are interesting. Well, I haad the grands yesterday after school which is always fun and got very little done all day so must do something today while Jim is at gun show. George and I may do a bit of cleaning. See if I can get George to comply. I do need to clean up the front porch because the flowers have gone nuts out there, still blooming. I can’t lift the rubber mats so must sweep around them. You asked about Jim’s car. Can’t get it fixed until end of the mo. He is very particular about who works on it. Have to order a new license plate, too. Later dear lady, Love, Sue

  41. Hello all
    Well, such a day yesterday. I was so tired I felt like I was sleep walking ! First went to see the orthopod. Several things going on. But mainly aggravated sciatica through the hip with a torn cartridge in the knee. Wants me to build up my quads some more. Said they were ok, but wants more muscle so I have to start using my exercise machine 😀 He said to walk also, but hey, not when it messes up the hip. He wants to go in and clean out the knee orthoscopically. Wanted me to tell him when, but if it ends up being bone on one in there, I would have to stay off it for 6 weeks, so I am saying the first of the year. He X-rays , gave me some ointment that is like yours Sue, the compounded stuff. Have to wait til I get it, but the samples really helped. Then I got home and made the sauce for spaghetti , rested for an hour and then to the elderly mans home. He was nice, sat in the kitchen with me and we got acquainted. Seems the kids don’t visit much at all. We ate , then watched the news for an hour and a half ! He is not happy they are making him do this, plus pay me himself. He says it makes him stick to a schedule. I had to laugh to myself, he stays home all the time. But, we will see. I go back Mon. He insisted he pay me yesterday because he just didn’t know where he might be next week !
    So today I am still recuperating from Thursday. And yesterday. But I have some things to do . Must pick and can tomatoes, and Judy gave me everything to make me dill pickles, so I have to do that as well. Need to mow, but it may not get done until Monday. But I must wash the dogs.
    Chris, I love all your tea places. Wish we had more of them. There are a few coffee shops around but they are just that…shops. No personality. Glad you had fun at the beach. Like the FM says, here in the sties we have to drive so far for places because it is so big. He hates that part of it.
    Ta- daaa all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, you sure do have a lot going on. I am sorry to hear your visit to the ortho was so interesting. We always want to be the boring patient but seldom are. I know that’s not great news about your knee. I can see why you want to wait until after the holidays and Fall.Here’s hoping the creme works well for you. I really like the one I use…very much. It got me through the night last night along with a pillow between the knees. Is the sciatic pain from the bad hip? I’m assuming so. Oh life, I guess the pain is a permanent part of it for many of us. What exercise machine do you use to build up the gluts? So much to do for you. You’re sure going to have plenty of tomatoes for sauces and soups. Homemade dill pickles are so much better than store bought. I used to make my Mom’s recipe for them all the time. Haven’t made any pickles in several years but love doing it. I pray you have the stamina for all facing you today.
      I’m glad it went well with your “patient”…don’t know what to call the folks you adult sit. Bless his heart…sounds like he doesn’t buy green bananas either. Hope it works out for both of you if that would help both. I understand Ms ALice is blue and wish she could take a trip back to where she lived before, wasn’t it New Jersey? Probably would do her some good. She would at least find out “you can’t go home again.” All things change. CHange, that cursed stuff.
      Jim’s gone to Portland to a gun show today. He was really looking forward to it. It was a hard choice for him because we have much going on this weekend. There a Rod Run across the river in WA with 900 cars being driven in…special cars. Fall in our area everyone doing special things. Very heavy traffic here starting yesterday.
      Please remember to rest today. I’m sure your pain will remind you. Love ya, Sue

    • Tonie
      What’s the name of the ointment..maybe I can get it here
      Well this gentleman will either be a menace or a delight,only time will tell!
      You will certainly be well up on the tv news
      I would have thought with all the work you do your muscles wouldn’t need any extra exercise . Big decisions to make there
      Right gonna get up now
      Chris

      • Hi Chris, Tonie i talking about a special mixture similar probably to one I shared on FB last week. I got mine from an RX from the first pain doc I went to. It has to be ordered by a doctor. Sue

    • TONIE , DH AND I MADE TOMATO SAUCE AND CANNED IT ALL. 50 lbs OF TOMATOES. YIKES I WAS WIPPED OUT. THANK GOODNESS WE DIDN’T LOSE ELECTRICITY WHILE CANNING. LOST IT TWICE IN TWO DAYS. LOTS OF RAIN AND VERY HIGH WINDS. MY FLOWER GARDEN AND APPLE TREE REALLY TOOK A HIT. ENJOY YOURSELF. WE HAD LOTS OF FUN. DO TAKE GOOD CARE OF THAT KNEE. PRAYING FOR YOU TONIE THAT ALL TURNS OUT WELL. GOD BLESS. XXX

  42. Chris dear, This is m second post to you today. My other one posted, the count was at 94 all day and now, tonight it is gone. That’s new one. Oh, computers, you gotta hate and love them. I’m pleased you got to go to the coast. I agree with Tonie, your tearooms sound so serene. Having family teapots seems so English. I love it. I know what you mean about black china but would feel differently if it was my Mom’s or grandma’s. I love my china and hope Beth will keep it one day. I have Royal Albert roses. So lovely for us flower lovers. Gee, I haven’t seen soda bread for sale over here in years. My Mom used to buy it all the time and I loved it as a kid. Your time with Dh taking pics while you shopped sounds so good.
    Glad you got the gate fixed and all is falling into place. At our house it’s a matter of fixing it before it falls apart again. Your home sounds like it is going to be all fixed as it should have been before you bought it. However, this way you got to do things your own way. I know you must enjoy shopping for a new home, or at least new to you. Any pics I’ve seen of it are just so, so…I think the word is charming.
    Yes, it’s been awhile for Jim but he will have his car fixed the end of the mo. The b est guy for this sort of thing didn’t have time until then. We still haven’t met the neighbor who hit his car. Don’t think Jim is ready for it yet. Had the grands after school yesterday. They’re getting so big. I hate to think how old the grands in TX are now. Life seems to be buzzing by in spite of long nights sometimes.
    Yes, these eyes with Sjogren’s syndrome are a royal pain in the patoot. Drops all the time…I know what you mean. Hope you’re okay after your trip. Later, Love, Sue

    • Sue I did see your other reply …yea blimmin computers
      Fancy that neighbour didn’t come to your house to apologise ..id have to stop myself banging on his!
      The soda bread was good as well as toasted. A lot of bakery shops bake the old stuff now along with the trendy new ones
      I love researching ancestry like your daughter .on my dads side I’ve gone back with church records to 1485 and have a will giving chattels and wheat to his family
      And have done a family tree I’ve traced up to today from 1485
      But most of the other family I have from 1700
      DH family to Oz ..I’ve traced from the first convicts and have their trials at court.
      Where they lived, shops future generations had when arriving in the gold fields
      I love it..but I’ve come to the end and no more can be done.
      So hence I am so interested in the social history how they lived
      My eyes are so achy..went and had the pressures done yesterday they have increased
      Well gotta reply to tonie and then start the day

    • Madison, I will. Sorry you have a reason to write about pain but life does go on…often dragging us behind. Sue

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