Either I accept my limitations while challenging them:
Or I let them drain away all joy from my life, one tiny drip at a time.
Either I lie here and feel the full weight of my self-pity:
Or I get up, pain et al and do just one brief action that is productive.
Either I lie here during this TV commercial,
Or I take my sorry self and perform one quick chore.
I either water that pot of African violets,
Or I watch them wither and die.
I either let the dog out to pee,
Or face the consequences with paper towels in hand.
I either fix something to eat,
Or I will starve.
I either snatch a small fragment of time to be productive:
Or I achieve nothing, and lose my feelings of self-worth and usefulness.
I either decide to do too much, a little something,
Or do nothing at all. It’s up to me every day.
Either I give into the sucking power of my disease,
Or I give it one hell of a fight.
I either lift that small weight to strengthen my arms, neck and shoulders:
Or I give in to the wasted muscles and loss of strength.
Either I accept my changes in appearance or not, but there are
No more evening gowns or beauty pageants for me anyway.
Either I learn to see beauty in myself, others and all around me
Or I will be cheating myself of life’s sweetest healing elixir.
Either I pull out that stretchy band and give it many good yanks, counting as I go, five more each day:
Or I will put it off until tomorrow, then tomorrow and once again, tomorrow.
Either I listen to my own conscience and do what I have learned to do to feel better, or I grow weaker each day with guilt as my companion.
Either I lie to myself, time and time again and desensitize my inner truth:
Or I love myself enough to be honest as much as possible in all areas of my life.
I either choose foods that are wholesome, healthy and wise
Or I will face the consequences: Ignorance of dietary law is no excuse.
I will either occasionally treat myself to salty caramels, Burgundy Cherry ice cream or some other edible delight:
Or my life will be very dull. I’m only human and must remember moderation is the key.
Either I look both ways when crossing the street,
Or I will get mowed down by a fast-moving car or the Road Runner.
I either choose to be clean, and presentable
Or I will be stinky, anti-social and disgusting while others flee from me.
Either I smile
Or I frown.
Either I am a grouchy, querulous whining bitch
Or I am as congenial and pleasant as I know how to be.
I’m usually somewhere in the middle.
Either I remember my behavior will come back to me, in boomerang fashion:
Or I continue to infest those around me and my body with negativity and doom.
Either I know the difference in what is possible, and believe and attempt to achieve,
Or I just give up now.
Either I bother to bother,
Or I don’t matter.
Either I acknowledge my limits, always seeking to expand them,
Or I dissolve into a weak, shriveled mass of protoplasm.
I either love myself
Or I show contempt for myself.
Either I put up with inferior, insensitive medical care:
Or I love myself enough to express my honest feelings and opinions as a nurse.
Either I say, “I may be a patient but I don’t have to be a victim,”
Or I give it up and roll over while putting my legs in the air looking like a gassed cockroach.
I either accept the remarks of some ignorant nitwit
Or I choose to educate them.
Either I learn patience and understanding for others,
Or I will live an isolated existence.
I either accept the parts of life I must, decide which parts about me I can change,
Or I will inadvertently be allowing my health to dictate my path.
Either I remind myself daily I am the child of a loving God:
Or I will be afraid, angry and without hope.