Superwoman or Roadkill ?

Either I accept my limitations while challenging them:
Or I let them drain away all joy from my life, one tiny drip at a time.

Either I lie here and feel the full weight of my self-pity:
Or I get up, pain et al and do just one brief action that is productive.

Either I lie here during this TV commercial,
Or I take my sorry self and perform one quick chore.

I either water that pot of African violets,
Or I watch them wither and die.

I either let the dog out to pee,
Or face the consequences with paper towels in hand.

I either fix something to eat,
Or I will starve.

I either snatch a small fragment of time to be productive:
Or I achieve nothing, and lose my feelings of self-worth and usefulness.

I either decide to do too much, a little something,
Or do nothing at all. It’s up to me every day.

Either I give into the sucking power of my disease,
Or I give it one hell of a fight.

I either lift that small weight to strengthen my arms, neck and shoulders:
Or I give in to the wasted muscles and loss of strength.

Either I accept my changes in appearance or not, but there are
No more evening gowns or beauty pageants for me anyway.

Either I learn to see beauty in myself, others and all around me
Or I will be cheating myself of life’s sweetest healing elixir.

Either I pull out that stretchy band and give it many good yanks, counting as I go, five more each day:
Or I will put it off until tomorrow, then tomorrow and once again, tomorrow.

Either I listen to my own conscience and do what I have learned to do to feel better, or I grow weaker each day with guilt as my companion.

Either I lie to myself, time and time again and desensitize my inner truth:
Or I love myself enough to be honest as much as possible in all areas of my life.

I either choose foods that are wholesome, healthy and wise
Or I will face the consequences: Ignorance of dietary law is no excuse.

I will either occasionally treat myself to salty caramels, Burgundy Cherry ice cream or some other edible delight:
Or my life will be very dull. I’m only human and must remember moderation is the key.

Either I look both ways when crossing the street,
Or I will get mowed down by a fast-moving car or the Road Runner.

I either choose to be clean, and presentable
Or I will be stinky, anti-social and disgusting while others flee from me.

Either I smile
Or I frown.

Either I am a grouchy, querulous whining bitch
Or I am as congenial and pleasant as I know how to be.
I’m usually somewhere in the middle.

Either I remember my behavior will come back to me, in boomerang fashion:
Or I continue to infest those around me and my body with negativity and doom.

Either I know the difference in what is possible, and believe and attempt to achieve,
Or I just give up now.

Either I bother to bother,
Or I don’t matter.

Either I acknowledge my limits, always seeking to expand them,
Or I dissolve into a weak, shriveled mass of protoplasm.

I either love myself
Or I show contempt for myself.

Either I put up with inferior, insensitive medical care:
Or I love myself enough to express my honest feelings and opinions as a nurse.

Either I say, “I may be a patient but I don’t have to be a victim,”
Or I give it up and roll over while putting my legs in the air looking like a gassed cockroach.

I either accept the remarks of some ignorant nitwit
Or I choose to educate them.

Either I learn patience and understanding for others,
Or I will live an isolated existence.

I either accept the parts of life I must, decide which parts about me I can change,
Or I will inadvertently be allowing my health to dictate my path.

Either I remind myself daily I am the child of a loving God:
Or I will be afraid, angry and without hope.

78 thoughts on “Superwoman or Roadkill ?

  1. Hello from the beach, or very nearby. What a wonderful reminder for me right now. Either I acknowledge the changes in my appearance…..either I accept my limitations….. both so hit hard on my toes today. I hate pics of myself, but it is who I am today. And I hate to acknowledge and accept the limitations and special needs I have.
    It has been a hard trip, even though I have enjoyed it. M back and knee are killing me. We spent the afternoon at the beach, and the kids took me out to dinner. Some fresh boiled shrimp, an excellent salad and some crab bisque…wonderfully full. But I had to get on my heating pad and ice my knee. It will be a long trip back tomorrow.
    Hope younall have a wonderful celebration of Easter, with church or family.
    Love
    Tonie

    • Tonie, don’t you love the food you get at the seaside? Nothing like it. The bisque sounds so good and of course, shrimp, always. Now I’m hungry and it is pushing dinnertime. Was glad to hear you are now at home and you and the boy pups can relax and get some sleep in the comfort of your own home. Always thinking just the best for you. Love, Sue

  2. Hi tonie
    Glad you are having a good time but sorry you are paying the price …..as Sues story says there’s a choice…..and we gotta choose what’s right for that moment.
    The food sounds good and I hope your pain will ease for the trip back
    Yes Sue our lives are all those things just to do nothing would be soul destroying..a little each day ,to accomplish something ,is what keeps us going.
    Altho many times we’ve got to give in to it to recover ..a fine line and where to draw it is the secret.
    Again a well timed blog for me .tryiing to rest up but stuff keeps appearing from out of the blue calling to be sorted

    Chris

    • Chris, so true. There are those times when our bodies insist we rest and recover, repair, renew. I think when we can, those little things accomplished are lifesavers. Always gratifying for me when some part of the blog speaks to the heart. Hope your weather warms up soon across the pond. Love, Sue

  3. Every. Single, Day. Guess which I choose? 😉 Even in dark times (I can’t stand them), I can only give in so long. Small victories are important. I agree with one of your FB friends, definite a print and keeper.

    • Lyn, I know you always strive to live on the sunny side of life. I also understand we all face challenges and I agree..get through them, find something that helped before and do, then do something…anything. Choices all over the place. Love ya, Sue

  4. WEll, almost half the day is over and I have started nothing !! BUT…the pool reopened today, so I am going to go and make an attempt to swim some. Very tired although I slept pretty good. Just the trip catching up with me.
    So, now I choose to get dressed and go !!
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, Sure hope your swim was a good one. I know how fatigued you were from the trip. One choice you may regret for a few hours but with long term positive effects. Memories matter so much. Hope tomorrow is a better, looser joints type day. Reminds me of the take on that old joke: “What’s a crappy joint like you doing in a nice gal like this?” Love, Sue

  5. Sue, This was very good. I try to do something everyday,, Today it’s laundry. There are small things that I will try to get done, but that’s the big one. My thoughts and prayers are with you and all my friends on the blog. Love Janet.

    • Janet, always love to hear from you. I did laundry today, too. Towels, had Jim put them in the dryer…so heavy. Stripped the bed and washed the sheets. Now I can feel the tiniest bit virtuous. Lying here on heating pad watching MASH wishing I did more but that’s the way the day went. Rain off and on here but saw some blossoms on many bushes across the street. Now we hope the deer don’t get them from our sweet neighbor. They seem to love all the fresh greens over there. They don’t come into our yard…too many stairs, no slopes to climb. Think of you often. Love, Sue

  6. Hi all
    well a restful day for me..caught up,with a lot of recorded tv .and Sue and tonie theres a new grantchester starting next week
    I watched the last episode of Broadchurch..do you have it over there at all…it’s a detective series
    Did a little gardening just fiddling really..back to normal tomorrow…stuff to do
    Hope all had a restful Easter
    Chris

    • Chris, thanks for the tip. I hope we get the new Grantchester but doubt it. We just got the new Midwife two weeks ago. Jim and I had the most restful Easter ever. I treated us to some See’s candy..got Jim a chocolate egg, dark with dark chocolate filling. He’s been so good with his dieting. He deserved some planned cheating on it. I haven’t been able to fiddle on my front porch and deck yet…still soggy. Love, Sue

  7. Well I do hope it dries up for you there Sue….it such a pleasure to get out and just potter after you’ve done the hard work of sorting out
    We put an outside light up today so it looks nice to sit out when warmer.got it shining thru the fruit trees it will look nice I think all dappled ,well I hope so.
    Got our neighbour coming in for coffee tomorrow ..she is a lovely lady .only two years older than me.but seems older in her ways..she loves her home and is so happy there and sees joy in everything . Everything is enjoyable for her…and she has been very ill.i mentioned her ..she was struck with an auto immune kidney thing and put unconcious for a time so she could recover
    Everything is so old fashioned …I love it and hope some of her optimism rubs off on me
    Well got some washing on so that’s it gonna sort it
    Chris

    • Chris, Today we actually had a dry day after rain last night. Felt too badly to putter about much. It’s Tuesday which is my worse day of the week.
      Your neighbor sounds like a lovely gal. I hope she proves to be a good friend. Everyone needs a few close friends to treasure and be treasured by. I’m a bit confused by what you meant was old-fashioned. She sounds like she has been through her own “war” in this life. That’s one of the things I have come to cherish about the blog and FB; all the wonderful, sometimes troubled, often suffering folks who share this world with us.
      You outdoor lights sound like another effect for your beautiful garden. Stay as well as you can dear friend. Love ya, Sue

      • I think I meant her way of looking at things ,sort of living life in the slow lane.uncomplicated..settled .a homebody .its like watching a 1950s family film being with her ,you feel calm inside after. It’s unusual and very welcome to me.
        Sunny and warm here but got to freezing last night
        Well tonie I hope Judy is ok and you steer clear of that bug….it’s nice to see nite lights outside like Christmas all twinkly
        Oh dear ..our prime minister has surprised us with an election in June …it’ll be nothing but that now on everything .ugh….
        Back later
        Chris

  8. Morning all
    CHris, I love the sound of your light, it will look good. I have seen some solar fairy lights I was thinking of putting in a few of my trees for night lights !
    Sue, hope you are feeling better. Here it is rainy all week into Tuesday. UGH ! And cooler. But the rain is good. For soon it will be hot.
    Judy called me and I need to go take her to the Dr today. Her friend is very sick with a stomach virus. Pray I don[t get it. SO I need to be off and go swim first !
    Doing better today Sue, had a good prayer so peace once again reigns inside me. God is the best comforter of all. He can wipe it away like a teardrop.
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, pleased you are having a more peaceful day. Safe travels and don’t breath anywhere near Judy’s friend. It may be the virus you just got over and you’ll be covered. I assume doc visit is for Judy’s knee. Hope all is going well with new one. More rain, huh? Same here.
      I like the small lights outside, also but here in OR it’s often not easy to get enough sunlight for the solar lights to get enough power. We had two outdoor plugs put in years ago but the rain can still cause the switch to trip off. Huge camellia bush has almost finished blooming…as it always blooms early and the ground is carpeted in red blossoms.
      Hope new biologic is still helping you. Love, Sue

  9. Chris, I think I know what you mean about your neighbor. Isn’t it fascinating how each of choose to live our lives and always a wonder of discovery when we meet others and see how they do it. I think a few close friends is one of God’s greatest gifts to us and are there for our growth and theirs. Sharing for us gals seems to be higher on the need scale than for guys but I could be wrong about that.
    So, you got the freeze after all last night. Yuk. I’m so ready for spring and know you are, also. That’s why I especially enjoyed the bouquet we got before Easter from our son and DIL. It was the last of an alternating every three months gift they gave us for Christmas. It was the prettiest I have ever seen with every type of flower…or at least many, represented. My son found out a long time ago which of our local florists is the best and uses them. Two months ago our gift was a blooming tiny flower garden and is doing well. Both of my kids have always been so thoughtful with flowers because they know how much I love them.
    As far as outdoor lights, I think they are not only aesthetic but make night safer. Do you two barbecue? Sounds like that’s what you need for that lovely garden.
    Raining here today as Jim took a relative into Portland for chemo care. When will it stop?
    I feel so much better today than yesterday. Methotrexate day is always a killer. I am always so grateful I react so well to that injection each week. It makes an amazing difference in my joint pain.Yesterday ankles, feet, wrists, knees, etc. all were crying out. Today, so much better.
    Hope your ice melts and the sun stays out for you. Love, Sue

    • Yep Sue we have a gas BBQ . Plan to use it more this year now the gardens done. Hopefully
      Those flowers must look beautiful. You have thoughtful and knowing children and I suspect grandchildren also.
      Well it got to freezing according to the experts here but no frosts tho
      It was such a lovely day today.
      I’m glad you are feeling more well..keep it going
      Lyn
      How’s all the family and you too.
      Are you still doing those exceecises for pain and stiffness .hows DD and her new boyfriend,and SB migraines / back pain now.hopefuily improving
      Well that’s it for the nite .
      Chris

  10. Hello again
    Well, while I was at the Dr with Judy, I got the answer to my question about my knee. And…..no more bodypump class. No lunges , or squats, go back to the weight machines and swimming. He said it would take a longer amount of time to be better. So…..wah ! But anyway, means it is normal cause since I started swimming again, it feels better. I have to take her on Friday to another Dr. so will do my weights then beforehand.
    Long day, but the sun came out long enough for me to mow the yard this evening. Had to tie Ms Sweetpea up at the feeding spot so Red could eat his hay in peace. She was being a mean girl again. And it was good for her to hear the lawnmower close by as she runs from the sound. Then I worked her a bit, when I snap the whip, she keeps her pace quickened. But she is still trying to be the boss with me sometimes. So we have more work to do.
    Okay gonna watch some more of “Shetland” another good BBC series.
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, Now that I think about it, shouldn’t you be immersing yourself in French TV instead of British…you know, love and all that’s going on in your life? Jim and I watched the COunt of Monte Cristo last night…the one made in 2004. It was very good.
      Sounds like you and Judy go to the same knee doctor. Good advice yet the ones he mentions, exercises, will strengthen them. Hope neither you nor Judy catch that flu.
      Glad to hear both you and Sweet Pea are “mowing”. Sorry she has to be so ornery about it. Poor Red.
      Better day for me but not wonderful. Such is life…Sue

  11. Well it’s 6.30 am here.mite get up and have some toast ,and come back to sleep.yea Sue I had a few hrs sleep
    Dare I say no smell yet in the bathroom ….the water board clearing drains must have done the job….but I’m still not assured it’s gone away for good …
    DH has a hearing aid appt today.his hearing is getting worse.and causes no end of problems.
    Ok back later Chris

  12. Morning
    Sunshine here but supposed to storm this afternoon. My little old man finally called me late last night, so I am off to meet I’m at 12. Gonna be his helper for him to build his shed. At least he doesn’t want to start at the crack of dawn !!
    Chris, happy no smell for you. Everytime you write about it I have that smell in my nose. I know it from past encounters in places. Not a good smell.
    Sue, hope you are even better today. I had my 4th injection on Tuesday of Enbrel, and so far so good. I feel so much better. Mornings are still rough, especially after a busy day. But any improvement is good right ? I watch some French movies, and some that are in French and dubbed. A good one is Le Chef, it is a comedy but easy to understand. I love the Count of Monte Cristo, both versions. I must watch it again.
    Well, must be up and running. Lyn, how are you doing ? Hope all is well
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, okay, the handy girl business is going to be up and running soon. I predict you won’t have enough time to take on all the jobs that will come your way. Sure am glad you feel better and pray you don’t overdo at any of them. You’ll meet a lot of new friends and I know it will be good not only for your pocketbook but genuinely help others. Stay safe and smart, okay?
      So please about the new med working.
      Terrible news about the shooting in Paris today. I know your dear FM will be upset by it even more than all of us in this country are. God bless the policemen who were shot today.
      Bad pain day here. It’s Thursday. SHould have been a good day. More rain on the way here after a dry day tomorrow. Kid got home from the Islands and were pooped. They had a wonderful time although it was very rainy and humid on that particular island.
      Hope life is treating you well. Much love, Sue

      • Well, didn’t do anything with the man yesterday. He had forgotten to bring his tools ! haha ! He is 76, has back lung and a lot of problems but fighting all along. We had a good talk, and he is a nice man. Already invited me up for 4th of July. But he gave me gas money, so good there. We are planning next week, and I have one scheduled with a gal from the pool on Friday. Nope, Sue, gonna be smart and take things easy. I know I might feel a little better, but not able to turn the clock back and be well. Have to do what I can and rest, etc as well.
        Glad the kids had a good time, I saw the pics looks like they did. Those kids are growing like weeds
        Yes, bad about the shootings. They have declared war on France and have openly declared it in missives. I heard from FM this morning. THey are sending him to the South of France , some 400 miles away, to teach for at least 4 weeks in place of another teacher. Not happy about that because so much more goings on in that part of France than where he is. Can you imagine having to work at whatever school they send you to, no matter where in the country ? And then your money is taken from you ? I would be so angry and resentful. I would be hard to put my heart into my job, but he is not like that. He does his best everyday. He wants to help these kids, but he says it is not happening with most of them.
        Well, I must go swim, even though I don’t really feel up to it. Raining off and on today, and through til Monday, Cold again Sunday as well. Sorry you are feeling so lousy. I take my MTX today as well, so hoping it kicks in. A lot going on emotionally and I know that takes its toll on us.
        Chris, sad about your smeller. Yep it seems when we discuss it, it knows and rears its ugly head. I love solar lights I have them all over. I have two porch lights that are solar. One inside and one outside, motion activated. They are reasonably priced and work great even in the winter. One of them is about 3 years old and still works great. I get the little ones at Walmart for 89 cents and they work for a few years. Put them in flower beds and along walkways.
        Okay talking too much
        Love to all
        Tonie

  13. Well….that blimmin smell was back!..not quite that smell but there for about an hour.it has gone now.what is it.its been gone for five weeks…..I shouldn’t have said anything …
    DH aid was made to be clearer and the tube was blocked as well.its so wearing to be repeating stuff 5 times and throwing your voice and not still getting it .my throat with the sjogrens gets sore. And the parallel conversations!! Or sharp words …oh dear!
    Well on to,other things…
    I needed a tonie ,but got an electrician coming to fit a security light tommorow instead. The one it is replacing just stayed on all the time whatever we did to it so we keep it turned off,it was old.
    Got some solar lights but charging them up so they are switched off ,looking forward to seeing what they are like.
    Well gonna try and get back to sleep.tonie am glad you feel so much better. Hope all goes well with the shed build..be careful
    Chris

    • Chris, Oh No! I think all of us were concerned for you and the odor problem and can feel your frustration over having it return. Looks like they still need to get to the real cause. I hope you’re pleased with the solar lights. I was just commenting to Jim today how far solar lighting has come in the last few years. It’s a great idea and maybe they are finally perfecting it. Sure does help if you have period of time each day when the solar panel gets direct sun. I’ve had the rock lights and small ones in the garden but will try another one this spring. The neighbor across the street has some beautiful peonies that have started blooming. So gorgeous. Mine never did that well and then we had the generator put in they had to be moved and never recovered.Guess I’ll be content to enjoy hers from our front window.
      Actually, I understand what you mean about DH’s hearing. Someone close to me is hard of hearing and won’t admit it. I speak softly due to the Sjogren’s and even long phone conversations make me hoarse. It is frustrating and hard on both parties. I pray he gets his aids working better now. Does he have the rechargeable battery type? I feel for those who have to be getting new batteries all the time.
      Resting this AM…had to schedule more scans. Then a bit of shopping and limping home to take a nap. Looking for the joy…Love, Sue

      • More scans sue?
        No they aren’t rechargeable batteries but he gets them free on the nhs along with the aid
        Electric man came today done security light.will see how it is tonight.still charging the solar ones
        Cold here today it heat on
        Out for cheese scone in morning
        Hope all have a good weekend
        Chris

  14. Chris, wishing you an enjoyable outing this weekend. Any plans? My DD and I want to get down to our favorite nursery due to spring fever but although gorgeous today, showers predicted for the next 5 days. My Ants are back so it is officially spring. SIL said many people coming into his business looking for ant poison.
    Pleased you have your outdoor lights up and ready to enjoy. As far as the odor…let us all hope.
    Chris, Lyn’s grandmother passed away a couple of days ago. I believe they were very close. I knew you wouldn’t know, not being on FB with all of us. Enjoy the weather as it warms up. Love, Sue

  15. Tonie, so much going on in your life. Glad you made it to swimming. The absolutely best exercise there is. Sorry to hear about FM having to go so far away from home to teach. The poor French. SO much going on over there. Prayers the election will help to solve so many of their problems.
    I can only imagine your yard is beginning to come alive with spring sprouts. Hope Judy continues to do well with her new knee. Hope Sweet Pea learns to behave like a good girl. Funny how animals are so much like humans or perhaps it’s the other way around. Love ya, Sue

  16. Good morning
    Chris, I do think it is wonderful that your health care supplies the necessary hearing aids, dentures, etc for all who need them. Wish it were that way here. Aids are so expensive and I see so many who can’t afford them, like my brother. $700 each was what my sister paid and that was some years ago. It is ridiculous. Ah well, off my soapbox now. Glad you got out this morning
    Sue, it is indeed coming alive. If it dries up a bit I need to work in my garden. But we have had a lot of rain so need to wait, meanwhile the weeds are growing. Hope you find you some nice plants. I see my Berber daisy is coming back in the flower bed. I want to plant another there and see does it return as well. I need some red geraniums for my pots and a few small plants for the pots at the gate, maybe a douple by the mailbox.
    Lazy today, MTX last night, so today is a slow day. House cleaning needs to be done, so ….ugh ! Poor Lyn, praying for peace for her. I know she must be in pain. Emotionally and spiritually.
    Hope all has a good day
    Love
    Tonie

    • Tonie, raining here as well. DD just told me SIL said the geraniums are in at his store so will get over there, probably tomorrow. Jim’s out running errands today like picking up the good flea control oil for George from the vet. Since the ants are back I figure it won’t be long before the fleas will be also.
      Isn’t it fun when you see plants returning as if they are awakening from winter. Jim sprayed off our retaining wall and sidewalks all afternoon yesterday. So much moss covering everything her in soggy OR state.
      Hope you feel better tomorrow for church. Yes, many of our health care needs are too expensive, especially medications. That has to be capped. Well, onward and upward. Lovee, Sue

  17. Tonie
    Yes it’s good they are free as he has no hearing without it
    Hope all the aches are a bit better as the day goes on
    All the pots sound pretty
    It switch on time for our solar lights tonite……lets hope they’ve charged
    Lyn
    I’m sorry to hear of such a close loss for you ,thinking of you
    Chris

    • Hi Chris, how is life going for you today. I hope you are sleeping right now and read this in your AM. I’m having one of those, do a bit, then rest kind of days. Gloomy, rainy day out and going to be this way for the week.
      Hope DH got his hearing aids tuned up after getting them cleaned up. Hope they help you as well. How is your Sjogren’s treating you lately. You don’t always let us know and we care.
      Remember I told you about the group called Knitted Knockers who make beast implants for mastectomy patients? Well, I ordered one and it came today. What a great idea and so well knitted, too. All volunteer organization all over the place with gals doing it for free. Since they are just stuffing and yarn they tell you if you want it a bit more realistic to put a stone in it. Such practical advice since the one I have cost my insurance $300.
      Hope your outdoor lights came on and all is coming together for you. We bought a new awning for the front porch and am looking forward to putting it up when the weather dries a bit. Do hope all is well for you this weekend. Love, Sue

      • Well am awake it’s about 1.30 am now
        My sjogrens is playing up as am on ranitidine ,got painful indigestion ,so that makes me extra dry. I should be on a stronger med but they make the dryness even worse. Eyes not too good at seeing to write…tdrops in
        Joints all sore and glands in neck too, mostly tired with it and breathing sore t
        So that’s me…….lights…two came on one didn’t ..it will go back to shop..they are ok but electric is the best.they don’t really light up much….I think the little Xmas lights are maybe the best to have,just twinkly
        I met the lady who had her one breast off who I mentioned in February .she has had a time with problems the latest being the tendons have knitted together and they have to be popped ..is it roped or coiled tendons….some name..or something like that with physio .she runs a lovely little tearoom and makes all the cakes,soups and scones.she only opens over the weekends .its a little way from us so we saw her and husband today. She is large breasted and was offered a breast reduction on the remaining one so the prostheses wouldn’t need to be so large ..but she didn’t want to. …and so it is very heavy to get used to and a bra to fit it..yout knitted knockers reminded me to say
        Anyway..how’s you ?

        Chris

  18. Hello, everyone, I just popped on for a quick catch up. It has been a while. Yes, it has been a week. My grandmother was an amazing 94 years of age and still living on her own. She was exhausted and had difficulty breathing, so was hospitalized. Her aortic valve was 80% blocked and fluid was building. That was Tuesday. Things went downhill fast and she passed Thursday morning. I was very lucky to have spent a good deal of time with her when I was young. She watched me while my mom worked until I was school age, then whenever I got sick. Many wonderful memories over the years. She had a full life and passed peacefully, now at peace with my grandfather. Services are on Monday. I’m exhausted, but doing ok, all things considered. Rough weekend, though. Already emotionally drained, yes, you were right, Tonie, I also had a 4 hour rehearsal this morning and have a performance of Messiah tomorrow. Monday is her service and I must sing there as well. DD may not be able to get off of work, but if she does, we are planning on a duet. We’ll see. Time for a little rest before I must get ready for a charity event we committed to weeks ago. Just trying to make it through, one thing at a time. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Wishing all well, as always.

    • How wonderful to sing at the funeral and if your DD comes too .it will be so special.so emotional even on your own.
      She sounds a lovely lady .take care of yourself
      Chris

      • Chris, I agree. Our Lyn is very special to do this for her dear Grandmother.
        I am sorry you have one light that isn’t intense. Perhaps it isn’t getting as much light to feed the solar panel? That is a problem unless it’s quite sunny…a phenomenon we see rarely around here. As far as your tearoom lady, I think she would like these because the knitted knockers are so light and if she feels off balance she can put as many small rocks as she wants to until it feels okay. The stones are in amidst a lot of fibrefill. It wouldn’t hurt to try since they are free.
        I am sorry you are having trouble with your Sjogren’s right now. You were afraid this would occur and here it is. It’s a dreadful disease we share. I chatted with a FB friend a few days ago is having fierce sinus infections constantly and the nose sores. I suspect hers has been made worse by the use of opioids after what I experienced with those category of drugs. I don’t think many people really understand how wretched it is to be so dry and all the problems it can cause to skin, bowels, hoarse throat, nose and mouth sores and then there is the wretched joint pain. Do hang in and know if I can help in any way I will. Do you feel you can get off the ranitidine now?
        As for me, lots of joint pain this week. To see the rheumy and the pain doc both next week in Portland. I’m ready to see them. Love, Sue

  19. Lyn
    You are in my prayers dear
    Sue
    I downloaded the pattern for those Knockers to crochet. When I get caught up I am going to try one. Maybe make one for Faye.
    Rainy here as well. Reading tonight so I can listen and sleep. Tomorrow and Monday in the 50’s…..ugh !
    Have a good sleep all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, this sounds like a good idea. I have never learned to knit. These look a bit tricky to get the shape. Probably no problem for you at all. You sleep well. Been using Melatonin Ultra by Schiff lately at night and really love it. Sue

  20. Sue
    Will have to stay on ranitidine for a while still getting those gullet cramps.
    My sore breathing is my bother at the moment with sjogrens …it’s a feeling that makes you want to cough all the time.
    I told that lady about knitted knockers and she’d never heard of them I heard back from her and they have a uk branch but she says they are not doing any in the uk for now ,……
    I think I could do with some melatonin but they won’t sell it over here.only on script ..
    Well it’s nearly into the week you go to Portland …,,,
    Lyn
    I love listening to the rain and falling asleep
    Well grantchester is on
    So bye for now
    Chris

  21. Wow, I a man out ready to build another Ark for me and the animals. We have had continuous downpour all day ! Church is cancelled tonight. Good thing ! I doubt many would show up.
    I made myself some tomato basil soup. I made some banquettes the other day so they will be good with it. I used my canned tomatoes and puréed them , strained the seeds. I think I will can more of them this summer. I only have one can left.good stuff.
    Chris, hope you are feeling better. And Sue. And Lyn, and all of you
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, downpours here today as well. If you get that ark just sail on over here to Oregon. Quiet day being mostly lazy with a few chores inserted here and there. Hope your weather improves soon. We’re not having sun until Friday. Later, Sue

  22. Tonie
    That sounds so good..raining outside .homemade soup and bread….I wanna be there!
    I’m ok just breathing is odd all the time..like it’s all narrow and dry…I suppose it has been like it a couple of years now. Nowt touches it
    I like to read but my eyes just get heavy with the sjogrens
    Enough of me….glad the injection is working ok.how did your sister get on ..how is she doing there
    Oh that other solar light came on tonight….and if your out there in the dark the lights are quite nice.better than looking from inside
    Had a BBQ today..the weather was sunny….cold tonight but the stars are all twinkling,a clear nite….gives cold and rain next week
    Chris

    • Chris, I also have difficulty breathing from the SJogren’s. Sometimes dry and at other times labored and moist, as if something is stuck in my throat. Occasionally I will start to speak and a weird choking sound comes out and I feel it in the back of my throat. Not on here as often even with enlarged lettering because of eyes. Such is life for some.
      So pleased your third light came on. I’ll bet it is lovely at night out there, soft and sweet with a gentle breeze.
      I’m going to send you and email with another connection for your tearoom friend. I think it will help. Let us not give up on her just yet. Quiet day. Went out in the rain to buy eight geraniums in such lovely colors. Got drenched. WIll plant when I get a dry hour plus the energy.
      Does that mean you can’t order melatonin from AMazon? Later, Sue

    • Chris
      Glad you got to BBQ and enjoy your new deck. I love to sit out at night in the warm weather with only the little lights to brighten it up a bit.
      My sister is doing well. I think she will be driving this week and almost ready to come home. As soon as she can manage stairs. She sleeps upstairs.
      More rain here today and much colder. My heater has been on most of the night. And the weather changes have really made my body ache.
      I am sorry about your breathing. Can they not do treatments for that ?
      Have a good day
      Tonie

      • Well I had breathing physio a while ago but it didn’t help and also an inhaler but no go.its just an irritation I suppose .
        Gives it cold here from the Arctic tomorrow ugh!
        Good about your sister,fancy driving already ..she’s coming on good
        Chris

  23. Sue
    No anyone could get it from Amazon …only I couldn’t as I won’t do it…you know me and my funny ways!
    Yep it’s like something stuck in the throat all the time ..so wearing. When your throat gets all thick to speak you can’t clear the throat to protect the Vocal cords . My nose is so dry and sore too must put some Vaseline on it as was told at hosp.see if it helps
    The rain you’ve had …..hope the geraniums survive the downpours.
    Have really got to get up gateman coming soon to fix gate
    Chris

    • Chris, I think it’s good that you follow your own opinions. I just share what’s going on for me and if you want to try it, then you can. I also use a bit of Vaseline in the nostrils and yes it does help. I said that once in a blog several years ago and a woman told me that was dangerous because I could inhale the petroleum. Gees…I told her I don’t put a whole spoonful in there, just a dab to keep it moist. I have the hardest time speaking with all the throat stuff and find at the end of a phone conversation I can hardly speak at all.
      Sure hope the gate gets fixed. Today the grands come after school so must get my lazy self moving. Still raining but I have the geraniums on the porch, so sheltered. Love, Sue

      • You know me and the Internet ,it don’t work ,anything that can go wrong will for me.it scares me
        Do you think the Vaseline would help,with my sore breathing .like coat the air ..
        I read that sjogrens people are more prone to ibs ….Yep
        Ok tired now been to coast for day
        Chris

  24. Morning
    Still waterlogged here. However, the rain has stopped for the first time since yesterday morning. Supposed to continue through tomorrow morning ! UGH !! I mean it POURED , not just a light rain. So we should have a good soaked ground. I just heard Sweet Pea running through the pasture. I love that sound .
    Well, Le Pen made it through this round. I hope she does like Trump and beats the odds. I do believe she will be good for at least what my FM needs, his retirement.
    I am off to the pain dr this morning. I have a new one. I must get something done about my back and I am going to ask for the referral to the spine specialist. Also can do another injection just to settle it down. The sciatic going into my left side is really bad. All the way down to my foot.
    Sue, glad you got your flowers. I have to finish cleaning off my porch and making way for plants. It will be nice to get them all done and out. I have my mother;s dining chairs to finish. I also have chairs from my grandma, old ladder backs with the woven seat that she had on the porch. I plan to redo the seats with fabrics and have them on my porch as well. Projects projects !! So many I have !
    Well, must be up and at it
    Love to all
    Tonit

    • Tonie, Glad your rain stopped. Ours has not. How wonderful it is for you to have a horse, well actually two, and hear the sound of hooves. I know that is important to you.
      Hope the election goes well for the French like your FM and things will then lead to his good. So much unrest in that part of the world as well as here. I try not to talk about politics on here and save it for FB but knew how important this was for your personal future.
      I can imagine Judy will be home just as soon as possible. Is she homesick yet? I have to admit when Jim had each knee replaced he hopped up the stairs as soon as he got out of the hospital. Everyone of us is different. He didn’t go a lot of it like downstairs in the AM and up at night.
      So sorry the extreme weather hit you so hard. Spring is coming, the flowers are blooming. Out here the rhodies are beginning to bloom and there is nothing more beautiful…unless it’s a peonie.
      Yes, you do have a lot of projects. One by one, you’ll get there. Love, Sue

      • Raining again, has said been most of the day. Busy day. New pain doc referring me to the spine specialist. Also set me an apt for a nerve block on the sciatic, and Rx for muscle relaxers.
        Judy is doing good. She was asking about you. Said she would like to meet you. We decided when we win the lottery we are gonna come and visit you ! I think they are going to Pigeon Forge for a few days. That is in Tennessee, Chris, in the Smokey Mtns. They like to go out there every now and again.
        Well, must be off to bed. Early morning and off to a job. Take care all
        Tonie

  25. Chris, No,you don’t want the vaseline anywhere near your lungs. I think a warm humidifier or a pan of hot water inhaled while you hold a towel over your head might. Most importantly drink like crazy to keep all moist. Glad you got away. Love, Sue

  26. Tonie, sounds like good measures by the new pain doc. Relaxers should help as so much of the pain we all feel is muscle spasms. I guess I already thought you saw a spine specialist. Is he recommending a new one? Did he have any ideas for pain meds for you?
    Yes, one day I will get to meet you, not just sure when. Is Judy home now?
    Another rainy day here with occasional sun coming through. Dreading trip to Portland on Thursday but must be and not happening as often as they used to. Later..headache here. Love, Sue

    • Sue
      No Judy is not home yet, soon she says. Mary is bad and she hates to leave her husband alone with her. No, no new ideas for the pain. He is a substitute and I really want to wait until the replacement Dr is there. No, I never got the referral through to see the spine spec. Same one I wanted to go to. SO, we will see. I need some relief from this sciatica for sure. Hurts !!! WAH !!
      Hope you are better today. The sun is out and shining. Hope it dries things off. I need to mow and work in the garden, and work with the horses.
      Okay, off to scope out a new job this morning. Handygal is on the move !! haha !
      Love ya

  27. Hello, everyone. Tonie, we are having rain today, your rain, maybe? I’ve not been watching the weather reports, been too busy. Yesterday was my grandmother’s funeral. It was a nice service, yes, I sang as I did for my grandfather, but a different tune. It was great to see so many relatives we rarely see. My best childhood friend came up – she works in Washington DC and lives in Maryland, so it was not a small task to come up for an afternoon service then head back down for an evening rehearsal. I can’t tell you how much that meant to me. We made it back home in time for me to head off to my rehearsal also. Long day. Today was busy, too. I’m whipped, and ready for a more quiet day. I should have that tomorrow. Plenty around here to fill it with. Doing ok, all things considered. Some sore joints today, not surprising with all the sitting and standing, and of course some fatigue.
    Chris, I hope you are finding something to help with your dryness. I know it is ongoing for you. Sue, Chris, I have used the Vaseline trick, too, when I’ve been particularly dry. It does help along with the steam and hydration. No fun.
    Tonie, you certainly do have plenty of projects to keep busy. You will enjoy those chairs when they are finished! I will have my Great-Grandfather’s chair to pick up soon. My Grandmother wanted me to have it since I am the only grandchild to have known her parents. They lived with my grandparents by then and I would go over to their side of the house to get them for dinner. I was only about 2, but I vaguely recall performing that task. There is also a lovely antique dresser and dry sink that I will claim if no one else wants them. Otherwise they will go to sale, I believe. I know my grandmother wanted to keep many things in the family, if possible. My DH will finally get some of my grandfather’s service items. He was in the Army during WWII and fought in France and the Hurtgen Forest. DH researched his platoon. Before signing off, I must share something we learned at the funeral. It speaks to the kind of woman she was right until the end. Just recently she heard in the village their church was helping out, the people were in desperate need of a well. They were lowering buckets into a hole and scooping up muddy water to use. She wanted to help. She funded the cost of creating a real well for the village. My grandparents were farmers, so they didn’t have much, but they scrimped and saved and invested well, and I couldn’t be more proud and touched that she chose to do this to help so many others. She also founded the local Meals on Wheels program in their area many, many years ago and was directly involved in it into her 90’s. Such a wonderful and caring woman. She will be well missed by so many.

    • Lyn
      I know you are proud of your heritage there. She sounds like a caring woman. That generation worked hard and knew the value of money. Our prior generations really would do what needed to be done. I know you will cherish those items. I love those old dry sinks. I also have a chair that Ms Millie gave me from the 1800’s. It came from an old miners shack out west. Oregon I believe. No one sits on it, just for show. But I can’t wait to use my mothers and grandmas chairs. I hope you are finding peace.
      Tonie

    • Oops! By dry sink I really mean wash stand. Why do I sometimes call a wash stand a dry sink? I do know the difference. Sheesh.

      • There is an old wash stand of my grandmothers in the basement, along with an old rocker to redo. I have loads to do, but can’t seem to get naught finished.

      • Lyn, Glad you do but I don’t. I’ve been around antiques all my life, in fact my upholsterer Dad had an antique store after he retired. He called the one I have a commode. It’s a bow front light wood, probably walnut table with four curved legs, a towel rack and a cupboard and three small drawers…very old. Maybe it’s a regional thing. I have two antique dressers, one plain pine and another with a wishbone mirror, a bit more elaborate, a hall tree, a chiffarobe for my clothes and several small items. I have an old coal scuttle with a wooden case I use for my Shaklee detergent by the washer. Oh, yes, I forgot, my desk is quite old and sweet. I love to pot old tea kettles and such with posies. Most of my newer furniture is eclectic and newer but looks old. I have quilts hanging in almost every room. Now that I think about it I guess I’m kind of funky but I love it. WIsh our house wasn’t so small but probably good it is. In CA I had a few other pieces that I had to sell just for more space.
        I am so relieved you are recovering from your busy few days. Your grandma sounds very sweet, kind and a woman of great character. Wonderful you have memories of her parents. The older I become the more important memories become to me. I think that comes naturally to all of us. It’s late, must close, Love, Sue

  28. Dear All, Chris fell and hurt her head, possible light concussion and also hurt her hip. She is resting, icing the hip and trying to avoid reading and activity that makes headache any worse. She wanted all of you to know. Please say a prayer for her to recover quickly. Thanks to all of you, Sue

  29. Sue
    I will definitely be praying for Chris. Bless her heart ! One thing after another. Seems like with all of us.
    I just got a call from the spine specialist. I go to see him on the 11th of May. I also have to go there on the 9th for RA. Going to see if I can change that one either to the same day or later. Too much for one week. And I need to see the spine guy worse right now.
    Swim today and rest. I have a job tomorrow and Sat.
    Sue, hope you are feeling better. The weather is clearing up here. I got too much sun yesterday trying to catch up on my work. How are your geraniums ?
    Well must get moving
    Love ya
    Tonie

    • Tonie, geraniums are still sitting in a cardboard box waiting for a sunny day. We had a bit yesterday for our trip. I agree with you about combining your visits to happen on the same day when you can. Get it all over in one fell swoop. Hope your weather is improving.
      I know that frustration of not getting your projects completed and I think it’s because we can accomplish so much less in a day. So pleased you are getting so many work projects for pay with your new business Handy Gal. There are so many other possibilities like Tonie’s Tools, You Can’t Get It Done; I Can or We Getter’ Done. See what an entrepreneur you have become.
      Hope your sunburn didn’t give you too much pain. Love, Sue

  30. Hi all
    Thankyou for all your thoughts
    I’m better than I was..hip is getting good with ice
    My head I’ve just gotta be careful with moving too quick and reading .feels like feeling car sick and heavy head and bit if headache
    But I’m better than last nite
    Lyn you did well
    Tonie wonder how the new Wonder Woman job went
    Sue
    Thinking of you today
    Just a short note
    Chris

    • Chris dear, sure do hope you are better or have seen and been seen by a doctor. Been very concerned for you. This sort of thing makes steps, fences, etc. shrink in comparison. You must take care of you for you and for your DH. Prayers, hugs and want to know if you are better. Love ya, Sue

  31. Hi everybody, trip to Portland yesterday to see two docs: my rheumy and my pain doctor. They are both beautiful mid age females who are extremely smart. I am so fortunate because they are both so caring and flexible but most of all helpful. Several med changes, off of Lyrica back on Gabapentin. New muscle relaxant, haven’t tried yet. New rub on creme or old one replaced with new doc. Fortunately I called around and found a compounding pharmacy just across the river in WA state who are great so they will mix it for me. We have a 40% co-pay which will be a bit painful but it’s so good. I used it yesterday and it really helped me get through a long day. Left here at 6:30 AM. Yuk..majorly. George was wonderful but so very spoiled wanted to ride in my lap on a cushion and I worry so about an accident and the air bag smashing him but he whines so much in his kennel. Do you think our porky Yorkie is spoiled?
    Pain doc wants me to get both knees injected. She could do it but best done locally. She advocates the hyarulonic acid injections instead of steroids. SHe said they last twice as long as they lubricate the joints. That pretty much sums up two very long but good visits. Will travel and repeat both in four months. So very tired when we got home and yes it rained on us, I just fell into bed at 6PM, napped through two movies, then was awake until 1 AM. Pain all over but better today. Yes, still using oil drops for pain. Love to all, Sue

    • Good visits, Sue. Lots of changes, hope they are helpful. It sounds like you found 2 who are really committed to do their best by you. Good. I know those days are so hard on you with all the travel. The hyaluronic acid injections make sense.

      • Lyn, I like both of these young women so much. THey’re both so smart. Yes, I will have to follow through out here and see an orthopod. I’ll inquire around and see who is the best. Hope you’re as well as you can be at this time. Spring sprouting? Sure hope so. Love, Sue

  32. Good morning all
    Sue sounds like a long but productive day. Some prayers answered on my part for you finding some things that work for your pain. How are your eyes doing ? Yes, I would say that Yorkie is a bit spoiled, but what are they for ???
    No work yesterday. Those people were…..well flaky ! Got calls, come, don’t come, and I just chucked it ! no time for that. But this morning I am off to the lovely lady I swim with. We will work well together and get her things done. She has a lot of work for me, so that is what I like. Yep I like all those monikers. It will be good for another ad in the free paper.
    Got a call from my FM this morning. Nice way to wake up. But we had a terrible connection and got disconnected. Anyway, his email got hacked, again. I told him to get off yahoo, seems it is pretty vunerable to attacks according to news reports.
    Lots of stuff doing here at home. Planting seeds , herbs, flowers, etc in my pots. Cleaned up my porch. Worked with the horses . We had spa day. Hoof cleanings and groomings. FM sent me a wonderful book from a lady in California. All about touching, massaging and doing things to make a connection with your horse before you get in the saddle. If my knee doesn’t heal I am never getting in the saddle. WAH !! But, here we go !
    CHris, so glad you are feeling better. You take care of that head.
    Sue all your antiques sound so nice. I love them, rather have them than new stuff. FM always scolds me when we are looking because I touch everything.And in some shops they are not cleaned up, so he is afraid of all the germs that might be on or in them . haha True though.
    Well, I must be up and gone. Take care all and have a wonderful day.
    Love
    Tonie

    • Oh, but of course you must touch, I do, too. 😉 Glad you got your wake up call, even if you were disconnected, and what a thoughtful gift. Yes, we are gaining more and more antique furniture here, too. 🙂

    • Tonie, hope the work went well today and she has more for you to do. Good to hear from your FM, I know. Hope he’s doing well but not too well away from you. I’m not sure I like him scolding you for anything but if it came in the form of looking out for you, I guess it’s okay.

      My eyes are troublesome after the winds from the trip, even with the heater going in the car. Not able to stay on here very long. Still recovering today pain wise. My goodness but you are a busy one. It’s all so spring related and really exciting after this winter…seems to have been a hard one on everyone. On the way to Portland we noticed how very green things were. Even the wooden trunks and branches of trees covered in moss. More rain right now after a dry morning. Do rest your bod tonight and sure do hope you get some answers on that knee. Love, Sue

      • Dear Sue
        Don’t worry, FM scolding sound like speaking to your favorite child, soft and gentle. Nothing harsh, and yes, it is well meant.
        I am so sorry you are in such pain again. And your eyes. Lord bless you, and heal you I pray.
        Yesterday here it got up to 90′. It was like July. Not spring. But all is blooming and green and becoming lush again.
        Yes, we got the work done. Figured out what was wrong with her washer…actually bad water. Clogging the screen into her machine. Hauled some dirt and filled her planting boxes, put up a fence. She mad me lunch. She is a chef, but we only had tuna salad sandwiches and some potato salad, which was good. Today I am tired, of course, couldn’t get to sleep last night.
        But I do so love working outside.
        Chris, hope you are feeling better today. Maybe you went out for breakfast ?
        Judy came home yesterday. Poor thing, I wasn’t here so she had to carry in all her stuff alone. She is doing good though. Good to have her back.
        Have a blessed day all
        Love
        Tonie

  33. Sue, yes, indeed, spring is sprouting here. I am starting some pot planting, too. I bought 2 blueberry bushes I put in large container pots DD’s BF gave us – he even included potting soil! He had them in his shed and wanted to get rid of them. I have some pansies my Mom gave me for my birthday I need to get potted, but need to see if 2 of the plants in my pots have survived the winter in the basement – I realized they are really perennials. Not sure they will as I was not watering them at all, but they still have some green on them, so will see. DD was over yesterday and said her BF said she could plant some plants over at his place if she wanted. She has plans of some and wants to go plant shopping sometime after Mother’s Day. Rest well, friend. Hope you are able to find a good orthopod to give those shots.

    Tonie, glad to hear your sister is home. I know you are happy to have her back.

  34. Hi all
    Am feeling a bit better today as well ,but my eyes are sore so keep this short. Tonie you sound a great help there
    Sue
    I hope by now the pain from the trip and all is getting easier …and your eyes
    It’s very windy here not too warm either
    Lyn it looks like planting weather with us all
    Nope didn’t go out for breakfast sometimes dressing to go out just doesn’t cut it …tea and toast and home!
    Chris

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