Never Apologize For Being Human

I’ve been at this chronic illness business for many years now. I’m still here, obviously, so I must have received some good care along the way. It hasn’t hurt, on my behalf to be an RN. Little did I know when I went to nursing school that much of my knowledge would be used on “moi.” Life is full of strange little ironic “gotcha’s.” Somebody in the great, heavenly upstairs definitely has a sense of humor, obviously loaded with irony. For instance, the other day I was having my usual IBS problem of chronic constipation and headed once more for the bathroom. My husband had left a can of WD-40 sitting beside the toilet. I don’t believe he did it intentionally but it still cracked me up.

I can’t remember the last time my life, particularly my health, was easy. When our bodies betray us more than usual, with another load to carry, along with the usual daily pain, most of us also experience many emotional ups and downs. How can we not? After all, we’re only human. We often expect too much of ourselves. It’s okay to let go and let it out when the pressure builds up. If we don’t, that little spout just may spiral and come flying off the pressure cooker. When the problems pile on, it’s a strain, an aggravation and a royal pain in the tush. On those days when joints cry out, the back is also screaming for attention and some idiot at the insurance company or pharmacy has done something stupid to screw up my medical care, I really feel that pressure building. Then the oncologist wants another CT Scan to check on the progress of my cancer and that about does it. The tears flow, I lift my arms toward heaven and screech, “That’s too much! Too much, do you hear me God?”

I was sitting in the doctor’s office one morning and two other patients who obviously knew each other were chatting. One said, of a third party they were discussing, “Boy, she’s had more than her share.”
I couldn’t help but wonder, what is one’s share? Is it pain that you rate a 5 on that less than perfect pain scale or is it a 10? Is your share one year, two or a whole lifetime? Is there some heavenly creature with a huge scale, weighing and measuring how much we each have to endure? Does that same celestial creature say, “No, stop! That person has had more than her/his share. It’s time to spread it around a bit. Check out that jolly soul driving that Lexus down there. Let’s give him a share; he hasn’t had a turn lately.” Nope, shares don’t play into this whole chronic pain business. If they did, I think I’d be due a refund.

Each of us has our own unique way of dealing with emotional overload. It’s been my experience we sometimes divide ourselves along gender lines. Of course, there are lots of crossover behavior types. As a general rule, the men I’ve known have shown their anger and frustration by pounding on a wall, hitting the gas pedal with extra vigor or just going off in a funk with a grumbling desire to be left alone. The women I have known, including me, usually go the crying route accompanied by bitching, whining and chatting away.

How much can one person be expected to take? Holy Cow, by golly, and all those dirty phrases I will try to rise above, I will confess I do swear more than I used to for a little Baptist girl who went to a Christian college. They’re just words and sometimes, they feel damn good when life has piled on top of you and you just feel you can’t take another thing. There are times I simply state, “I’m really feeling bitchy today, you may not want to be around me.” I try not to take the Lord’s name in vain, but since I’m an RN and have studied anatomy, I do get a certain amount of relief and pleasure from saying, “Oh Shit!” There, I’ve said it. I’m only human.

Another approach I usually choose is humor. Maybe, I shouldn’t say choose because it actually chooses me. My daughter and I have been known to get uncontrollable giggles at times when one of us is fatigued, when we are shopping for hats or when the situation is too ludicrous to be taken seriously. When my husband, Jim, had a particularly bad day at work at the local county jail, and believe me those felons can make you want to commit one; that’s when I would put in one of our favorite funny movies and laughter always works for both of us.

Animals always hit the button in the humor department. I don’t know how people live without at least one little four footed critter to bring joy, unconditional love and laughter into a home. All animals are the best therapy but the most common are cats and dogs. Their antics can open a sunny window on even the darkest days. A beloved Saint Bernard we had many years ago could jump up onto our bed out of pure joy when we came home, and in one crazed circle unmake the complete bed. She adopted a tiny new mini-schnauzer pup we had and he her as she walked around with him hanging onto her neck. It was a hilarious sight but we had to put a stop to it when her neck developed sores from his teeth marks. We have so many hilarious memories of her and since Jim worked nights for many years she was my constant companion. One night I was bathing her in our over-sized tub when suds flying she flew out of the tub, running through the house. It wasn’t as humorous at the time as it is now, I must confess. Why I didn’t break my neck on all the water and suds on the floor, I do not know. Large dogs and small, we have a hundred stories to tell and the humorous ones dominate as the only sad ones were rare and thankfully so. We choose to have smaller dogs as we age yet the humor and love they resonate continues.

I’ve seen individuals who have loving birds that sit on their heads or shoulders, giving love and humor. Others have cats that are such characters they are a constant source of entertainment. We had a wonderfully large, and fluffy orange and white cat who used to sleep on Jim’s head. Cats love surprises and we’ve had our share of those who love to leap out and grab your ankle or foot. Our Yorkie we have now does that with tennis shoes, bigger the better for him to chase and bark at. There is no question about it. If you want to have more joy in your life, get a pet.

Another act I love and have often fallen back on is singing. You all know the routine because I’ve shared it previously. If I am sad, discouraged or particularly full of self-pity, I belt out “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen;” always works for me. I can’t make it through all the way without cracking up. Another favorite of mine, as my body gets older and sagging sets in is an old camp song, “Do your ears hang low, can you wag them to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them o’er your shoulder like a continental soldier; do your ears hang low?” It’s not my ears I’m usually singing about. It’s everything. Gravity is a formidable enemy to physical beauty. With all of my problems, how in the world can I still be concerned about how I look? I don’t know, maybe I’m shallower than I thought I was or just maybe, it’s a good thing to want to present a good front, back and side. I just feel better when I keep my hair cut; bathe everyday; wear a dab of lipstick and yes, I confess, keep the gray away. Okay, so I’m shallow, I just know what works for me. By golly, I’m out to survive and make no apologies about it. Like the unsinkable Molly Brown, I may be down but I’m not out, by thunder. Fight the good fight my friends and we’ll suck the most out of this marrow bone of life we’ve been given. After all, we’re only human.

45 thoughts on “Never Apologize For Being Human

  1. Well, Happy Mother’s Day to all. Beautiful day here, hopefully we will have a few weeks of Spring now.
    Good blog Sue. I don’t know, I hate the sagging bagging everything as I am aging. I think it is just human and our society that places youth and beauty above all else. It is wonderful to feel comfortable with yourself, something I never have.
    But, so many other ways to distract from ones problems. I like just working manual labor. Or working with the horses. Going out to do that right now,
    I hope you have all had a wonderful day
    Love
    Tonie

    • Tonie dear, thanks once again for posting this for this computer incompetent friend. I cherish you. I think we all have areas of our lives and looks in which we don’t feel comfortable. I think beauty is such a subjective value thrust on us by others. I’m sure you’ve met folks over the years who are considered great “beauties” and then you get to know them and ZAP…they don’t seem beautiful at all.
      At my age and state of health I just have to settle for pleasant, clean and sober. Ha. Just threw in sober for a laugh. I think beauty, true beauty, shines from within and is a mystical value that is felt when they are around you. As these bodies run into trouble along the way, there is change and I just settle for a bit of health one day at a time and know you do as well.
      I know this is an emotional day for you and you have my thoughts on this Mother’s Day. Love you gal, Sue

  2. Food for thought there Sue
    I said before when I go to hosp.with problems my feet are my thing..creamed and painted nails
    Why ..it’s just our thing.and it’s a good job we can laugh and with each other too
    I’m on a diet again so I can look better..why when I just want to feel better..
    Hope all had a wonderful Mother’s Day
    Chris

    • Chris, You know,I and all of my sisters have had just enough vanity to care how we looked, even into old age. I’ve always thought it was important and since each of us have our own individual style we have always tried to express that. I understand the foot things because doctors are always looking at my ugly ankles so I also have a bit of a passion about my feet. I love those hand sander things. I can’t recall what they’re called but mine is made by Scholl. I love ceramic nail files and the bigger ones of those work great on toenails. Do you paint and use that new gel? I love painted toenails but don’t do that anymore because it’s just too much work. Last Christmas I gave my little GD a manicure set and she set up business, charging my daughter, her Mom for a manicure. Capitalism at its best.
      I understand the weight loss feeling, too. There’s a certain weight, I think, when we feel our best, don’t you? Much love, Sue

  3. Yes, good one, Sue. I can relate on all fronts. We had some of that lovely weather Tonie spoke of yesterday, and have more spring/summer like weather in store for this week. Maybe I’ll finally get that lavender plant transplanted. SB was supposed to do it, but… Maybe I can talk him into it later today after work. We’ll see. Nice Mother’s Day here. Bathed the pup – without a sudsy dog running through the house, thank you – and DH towel dried her twice for me. We walked her after, so she dried quickly. DH prepared chicken parmesan for my Mom (and step-dad) and I. It was nice to spend time with them – and not have to cook. My mom has spent the last several years of Mother’s Days with my grandmother. I thought it would be nice to spend at least this first one without her together. It was good. SB was at his girlfriend’s college graduation, DD worked. DD did post a Happy Mother’s Day message with a picture to me on Instagram. Other than that, I didn’t hear from either of them. Hopefully they had good days at work and play. Oh, we even saw my in-laws. DH called to wish his mum a Happy Mother’s Day only to have his dad say he was about to call him. Their smoke alarm (in reality, it was their carbon dioxide sensor, but I digress) was going off and they could figure out how to make it stop. So, just after my parents had left, we headed over to his parents. Turns out they had changed the battery and gotten it in incorrectly which was why it was beeping. But, we ended up having a nice little visit, so it was all good. Sun is shining here today. Guess I should get a bite to eat and decide what I am going to tackle when today. Enjoy your day!

    • Lyn, Pleased you had a good Mother’s Day…in general. I know it must have been a sensitive one for both you and your Mom with your grandmother gone. Glad you got to see all the parents. Kids of that age are always so into themselves. My DD’s teen son remembered he had made her a digital card at school at nine o’clock last night. I heard from both of my two. My GS from TX just graduated from America Univ. with his masters degree so my son and his whole family was in DC for the weekend. GS already has a job in Congress. He’s excited and he just got engaged. We missed out on all of it…sad for us. DD wasn’t feeling well and neither was I so we have promised ourselves barbecued ribs and sides next Sunday. My son knows my favorite florist here in town and sent me a lovely outdoor planter. DD and I like to take each other shopping and will soon. Resting up right now from a bone scan today. Such fun.
      Oh you and Tonie are so lucky. More rain here today. I like rain but pushing almost 100 inches this year is enough. I’m going to have to start signing off as Soggy Sue.

  4. Hello all
    Glad you all had a good Mothers Day. Mine was quiet. Heard from both my kids. Rested a bit and worked with the horses. So good day for me ! We had a beautiful day again yesterday Lyn. So glad you had time with your mother after your loss. I always miss mine. Funny, I can’t remember the sound of her voice anymore.
    Well I overdid it yesterday (imagine that) so this morning is a slow one. I mowed and worked in the garden and Judy’s and did the trimming. So today is rest until I have to go to the airport to make my pickup ! That is not until 4, so I will leave around 2 to make sure I have plenty of time. It doesn’t take near that long, but you never know right ?
    Chris, hope you are doing well. Janet, hope you had a good day. Sue, I know you are so proud of your grandson. I bet if he stops to think, his head is spinning ! You will have to tell him to pick you up some Christmas ornaments from the White House. I need to order me one , I have a collection of them, but haven’t gotten any in the last few years. But I would like to get me one this year.
    Have a wonderful day all. Wishing sunshine all around !!
    Love
    Tonie

    • Tonie, Sorry yesterday had to be such a big day for you. I know you must have had extra pain last night, and I’m sorry. You are the best kind of sister to take care of Judy’s yard like you do. Glad you spent time with Sweet Pea on the weekend and hope she is shaping up to be a Sweet Pea. Sounds like she does have a lot of spirit. Hope Red is getting used to her, also.
      Do have safe trip today and I hope their flight is on time. Bet your garden and yard are looking splendid after your work and with the signs of spring everywhere. Yes, I’m sure my GS who just graduated is full of life right now. He and his fiance just got a new apartment there and I understand the cost in DC is unbelievable. Well, barely awake here after a long hard day yesterday. I’ll be thinking of you today as ever prayers for safety and comfort. Love, Sue

  5. Hi all
    Man came to wash over conservatory it came up good ..but the down pipe that goes into a soak away flooded, and it looks like that is a problem as it goes under the new decking ..the pavers when you walked on them squelched and water came up.its in a side corner we wouldn’t have noticed ,it has been pouring today and gives it heavy all day tomorrow..I suppose with using the hose on roof as well…..so another problem …you know what I might just leave it and just let it soak away in its own time…..so that’s it And it all looks nice and clean and white . Problems here have legs!
    Sue I expect you are sore after your day there ..
    Tonie hope you feel ok after your pickup trip
    Lyn your Mother’s Day sounds busy ,but thoughtful
    Well I’m tired after cleaning up after the clean up!!
    Hope to sleep..ranitidine is giving me wierd dreams ..In colour and not really looking forward to another tonite
    Chris

    • Chris, I guess I don’t quite understand. Why isn’t the flooding a problem in a rain downpour? Is it a clogged spout or is the one in the ground? Are you saying they would have to disrupt the new deck to fix it? I certainly hope not.
      I’m sorry about the ranitidine…Can you switch to another form like omeprazole? I know how different the side effects can be on each of these. Feeling crappy here for two days. Full week and glad when it is over. Love, Sue

  6. Morning all
    I was so tired last night. I thought I wrote on the blog, but must have dreamed it !! I slept deep last night (thankfully) and dreamed which is a good sign. Still tired a bit this am, but okay. It is going to be hot here today. In the 80’s high. Waiting on the farrier to show. I put in a call o him to see when he would come because I have other things to do, like go swim. But no reply yet. Like waiting on the cable guy. This guy is new to me, so we shall see how he fairs.
    Trip went well. Their plane got in a little earlier than expected, so it was good I was early as well. They were in good spirits, but Fran was emotional also over her mother, as would be expected. it will be difficult for her for a bit, the second time she has to get used to her not being in the house.
    Sue, I sure hope you are feeling better today. I know how hard these tests and things are for you physically. Prayers for your strength and recovery.
    Lyn I saw your post on FB about the heat in PA as well as what we have here. This weather is crazy !! Stay cool mama !
    Chris, I am confused as well over the drain pipe. Is it one that goes underground from the roof ? I know those kind, but you could also very easily divert it with an attachment at the end of the drain pipe. I hope you can sort it out easily without anymore fuss and mess.
    Well, more coffee and then I must be at some chore I choose this morning.
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, First of all pleased to hear you got in a good night of sleep. Hope today goes well for you and you get to go swimming. Did the farrier show and is he a good one for you? I hate it when guys are so rude and show up late and yes, it’s usually repairmen, workmen,etc. Women seem to be late more in social events. Don’t think the farrier had to worry about his hair or make-up.
      I’m sure it will be a painful day or week for Fran as she feels the loneliness in her home after her Mom’s passing. So many memories, possessions, etc. Just coming home though will probably be welcome to her after being away all winter long. Glad the trip went well for all of you.
      I have the CT scan tomorrow and it’s the hardest one of all. I hate that V shaped metal table one has to lie on. My back can’t even allow me to lie flat let alone on that torture chamber. At least I will refuse this time to put my arms up. Shoulder much too far gone for that as well as cervical spine.They could see three months ago how hard it was for me and told me not to comply next time, so I won’t. When I told my internist about it he didn’t even know a patient had to put their arms up for that scan. I guess if a doc never had one he wouldn’t know it. Oh my but I do feel like such an old ruin lately. Having trouble with one side of my face next to my eye sinking in a bit. It has become painful, especially at night. None of the doctors know what it is so they’re not much help. Obviously it is pressing on one of the cranial nerves. Something else to deal with.
      Today I am going to read up on relapsing polychondritis because that’s what I believe it to be. Have more pots to clean out and plant and porch is a wreck except for my pots. Jim will wet sweep it soon as we are having five days of sunshine. So excited! He’s taking SIL’s brother who has cancer into Portland for his chemo today. Everyone takes turns each week. He’s doing well. Remember he’s our dear guy who is remodeling the wonderful old Victorian here in town?
      Well, up and looking for a bit of housework that needs doing, then back to rest and read a bit. Enjoy your day dear lady. Love, Sue

  7. Ok the pipe
    When it rained certain ares of the garden thats paved do puddle a little..no problem and so when this too did on top of where the drainpipe went I thought it was the same thing..it only happens if we get loads of rain….like now
    So I thought this was top down too….not as it now shows as bottom up….as its not Draining into the soak away properly ,also it’s not an area we see a lot
    It’s not much puddling at all..only when he washed the cons roof and the pavers were moving in it!!
    The previous people had a water butt there..we chucked it as it was a messy thing…I now know why it was there!
    Anyway last night as tonie mentioned in post we will get a diverter just under window where the brick starts .its on the far side of cons and take it down to join the main pipe on another wall to house that goes into main drain …that’s better than taking the decking up ,or putting another water butt there .
    I somehow knew there would be a problem everything has legs when we start
    So it is pouring down all day and last nite …conservatory is nice and clean…..
    Hope you are better Sue and ok
    I take ranitidine as it doesn’t dry me up as much as the omeprazole …have to swap,between them I think
    Tonie
    It’s a bind waiting in for people they never turn up within a good time limit…..hope the heat stays with you there our comes and goes
    Resting today as its pouring anyway.
    Got a double glazingman tomorrow to look at two new units in the window..present ones they let moisture in . See how we go there …
    Chris

    • Chris
      You must have put Sue’s name on the sign part, cause it comes out as Sue, not you and I had to approve it.
      Very hot here, inside taking a break. 2pm, and still no farrier or call ! May be looking for another one already.
      I have been in the garden, and spraying honeysuckle and poke weeds from around the fences. Taking a break and then to do the ones in the field.
      I think you will have an easy fix for your water. Yeah I know about them legs growing !
      Tonie

      • Don’t know what I did then.i put my email in then my name as usual ..I think….and post comment I saw it came up,on the blog but not on the itinerary …how odd ,hope this goes on ok
        It’s strange as on the sign part it always goes pink with my name and it did. Bloody computers
        Good job your at the other end ……
        We have our neighbours honeysuckle growing over our fence it’s lovely but a bit too much for where it is..don’t like to say anything but I keep saying I’ll say something.but never do.ill praps say do you mind if I cut it a bit
        If weather better tomorrow and DH ok we are going to grantchester for tea …..and look about
        and Cambridge see how we go.he had to take another bp med as it was going up,and he didn’t feel,too good today
        Ok hope you can get a new farrier ok and got your work done
        Chris

    • Chris,thanks for straightening that out a bit more for us to understand. Good luck with all of that. Enjoy your lazy day. You deserve it. We’re finally getting sun. Hurray. Love, Sue

      • It didn’t make sense really on rereading it ..but you get the gist ..it’ll get sorted soon.the man who washed the conservatory over is very handy and spoke to him today and he can come when we are ready to do it
        I think I had a funny turn with putting your name on post as well!
        Thinking of you tomorrow Sue
        Chris

  8. Hey all
    Chris, yes, glad we got it sorted out ok. Yeah, I would just tell them I was going to trim it off my side on the honeysuckle. I had to spray all the fences in the pasture of honeysuckle. It is pretty but it is a parasite and grows out of control and pulls the fences down with the vines and weight. Wire fences. it also spreads throughout the pasture taking over. So…it must go.
    No farrier showed yesterday, but I got a lot of work done. I have more numbers to call, thanks to my plea on FB. So I will get to that this evening. The horses need a pedicure.
    I must be off to clean the other house I have . Then maybe go swim, depends on how tired I am. I like to think big, but it ends up not happening. In the morning you have great aspirations and by afternoon they are deflated !
    I do want to drive down and pick up tomato plants, so maybe I will do that after cleaning, or tomorrow after a swim. Oh well, plan it as I go. RIght ?
    Chris your plans sound good. Pictures love, pictures. DH takes such wonderful pics. He should put together a book of them.
    Sue, prayers for you my friend. Take care of you and rest those eyes.
    Wishing a wonderful day for us all
    Love
    Tonie

    • Tonie, Well dear friend, how did your day go? DId you get your house cleaning accomplished. I understand about the greatness of our plans and the unwillingness of our bodies. My experience is usually a bit different from yours. I feel like heck in the morning and feel better once all my AM pills click in. Today is an exception to that. I finally got dressed at noon just to make myself feel better…didn’t work. Difficult having a CT scan yesterday after the bone scan earlier in the week. Also, labs done yesterday but they’re no big deal. It’s kinda like going home in those departments at the hospital, I’m there so often. While I was drinking the disgusting liquid to make my intestines and bones “light up,” I went shopping at the hospital gift shop. We have the cutest selection in there. I kept going back to get refills over my ice in the cup. Don’t want to drink that “lighter fluid” warm. Long hour waiting for it to work and I thought walking better than sitting. Regretting it today but it made it more interesting. I’m one of those people who talks to everyone and you learn the most interesting things that way and meet such nice folks. Unfortunately, I discovered our gift shop sells See’s brand candy. Such temptation.
      Isn’t it lovely to have decent weather? We’re going to have sun for a few days and according to our yard guy, it’s supposed to get up to 90 degrees next week. Looks like time to plug in the air conditioner. Did you get the tomato plants? It is a shame you don’t like fried green tomatoes. I love them so much. I especially love them with a dash of cream gravy on the side. I guess my southern blood is showing.
      Basically I hurt everywhere today, back kept me awake most of the night, knees bad and neck and shoulder very raunchy. Rectal spasm from that miserable V shaped metal table. My pain doctor told me to ask the oncologist about Belladonna suppositories. Haven’t heard about Belladonna in years. Right now I use steroid suppositories. Oh to have a new body. Love you gal and hope you made it through most of your desired plans for the day. Sue

  9. Hi all
    Wonder if you went for a swim.and got those Tomato plants
    Wet and damp and cold here.
    Hope you are ok Sue I expect you are resting. I hope you didn’t have to put your arms up in the scanner
    Chris

    • Dear Chris, hope you are enjoying your weekend. I also pray the weather is fine for you as it is for us. New little flowers on the porch all looking wonderful. Need to water them this evening. Oh to find the strength. I still have a few new plants to put in new homes out there somewhere. One of them is a sweet little rose scented, scented geranium. Tonie recently shared a hint she ran across on FB about insects and I am now going to try a cinnamon oil spray I mixed up for ants in the house and out and peppermint oil spray for getting rid of spiders. Since both are safe for little George compared to any poison, it’s worth a try.
      I love your husband’s pictures as well. Didn’t you say he already published a book? If so, is it available to buy?
      Hope there is no bad news regarding the house. Did the double glazing guy show up? Do hope DH’s B/P is staying down. How’re you feeling. You rarely say. Be well and enjoy the weekend. Yes, I sort of put my arms up but only the elbows up with my hands on the machine but no, I won’t do it again, either like the whole arms above the head. Next week is the dentist, the oncologist and shoulder injections.
      Are you getting to know your sweet neighbor? DId you chat with the neighbors about the honeysuckle? Over here the rule is you can trim anything on your property, including trees. Take care of you…Love, Sue

  10. Hi all
    Went to see DD it’s her birthday shortly but she is away then so went to give her some pressies.
    its been tipping it down here.huge dark clouds and heavy ongoing rain…but on way over we managed to have a picnic in the car overlooking a reservoir .again they flooded a small village but now it looks so natural and pretty
    Every where feels damp tho
    Yes you are allowed to trim off all plants etc here to from fences ..I just will ask if it’s ok first he will say yes he is an ok man.lives on his own his wife died a few years ago just quiet don’t see him much.
    Yes the other neighbour is hopefully coming here for coffee this week.i went to hers last time.such a pleasure to have good neighbours .
    Been having ibs this week
    I always keep off what I can’t eat.but when I went out the other day,there was Nothing I could eat..Seeds and nuts in everything ..I thought cherry jam might be ok with scones as I couldn’t have raspberry etc. But it was full of peel..nice but a couple of days later there it was lbs..I didn’t think it would affect it.but I do have to peel all fruit
    So back on meds but they make me so dryer than normal
    Do hope all this pain goes over the weekend for you Sue
    We have no end of trouble with ants outside and they bring up all the sand from under the pavers .i must put some stuff down…hope your stuff works ok
    all my joints are playing up…the dr won’t give me any anti inflams due to an old stomach bleed.ive got these oxy. meds I mentioned but holding off with them .dont need any more side effects
    Ok well it’s 5 am so gonna try and be back to sleep
    Oh lyn how’s your sleeping going
    Tonie into June nearly so we’ll be saying next month he’ll be over
    Chris

    • Chris, I am sorry your IBS is acting up. Had a recent bout myself and am afraid it is the fresh cherries but I do love them so much and they were the first of the season. Your reasoning about the jam just might be. I can usually do okay with cooked peel but no seeds. I also can’t use tomatoes, even the juice. I think it’s the acid in tomatoes. I do adventure in about three times every summer to have fried green tomatoes. Jim and I don’t have the traditional spaghetti very often and most often have it with oil, butter and fresh mushrooms. I’m usually safe with white food but that is hard on the weight, I know. Let’s hope you get better soon. When you mentioned oxy do you mean oxycodone or oxycontin? I am sorry you can’t take NSAID’s but understand. Some of us have trouble with one and not the other. I am sorry life gets so complicated for so many of us and you.
      I just mixed up some cinnamon oil the other day with water in a sprayer but haven’t had a cause to use it on our ants yet. Guess they heard I was armed. One half teaspoon in 2 cups of water…hope it work. Also mixed up the peppermint oil in water for spiders. I must remember to sprinkle rosemary leaves in the plants on the porch. That works great to keep the cats out of my pots…no digging. I’ve used that for years now and it works like a charm. Isn’t it wonderful to be drying out weather wise and enjoying the outdoor spaces. Will have to ask Jim to get the cushions for our outdoor furniture out of the basement.
      Hope you feel better very soon. Love, Sue

  11. Hello All”
    Sue, yes , I got my work done. I went to swim and then went down the mountain to get the tomato plants. Was in the worst rain deluge and hailstorm in a while. Got two showers , one of them whilst I was clothed. ! Then Saturday I was worthless cause I didn’t sleep much Friday night. And had to go to my nephew’s birthday party. Family thing. And it started raining, and it has rained ever since. I would like to get the tomato plants planted sometime this week. I need to pickup bird netting to go around and over the top so nothing gets the fruit..
    I got a call from a new customer from my flyers so I am going to see her tomorrow. She had pernicious anemia, and had some kind of operation in November and hasn’t been able to walk. Now she is on a walker, but needs my help getting her home back in order. Good job for the rain !
    Well, Sue I hope you are feeling better. I know how tiring those Dr’s offices can be !!
    Love you
    Tonie

  12. Hello, is anyone home ?
    Boy Sue, I am starting to think I have moved to the NW somehow ! We have rain again all week ! I did get a few things done yesterday while the sun was out. I was hoping to be able to work with the horse today, but nope. Rain all day. By the time I can mow on Friday I will have to bale it for the horses !!
    Well, at least it is good for all the gardens. I did get my tomatoes set out last evening. Now I have to put a fence around them. I moved the place I have them, not in the garden. I have them next to the hay shed. Maybe I will fake the deer out. But they will get more shade there and the soil is better.
    I did meet with the lady who needs my help. Poor thing. She hired an acquaintance to come up here and unpack her things ( she moved into a new house) while she was still in N.C. When she arrived up here, she found that they had went through all her things and stole from here. Didn’t put anything away, so she has things all over the place. Should be a good job while it is raining. So we will see if she calls me back. Nice lady, seems like.
    So this morning I am off to get my teeth cleaned. This hygienist is the best I have ever had. She is so gentle , no sore gums or mouth. She said that she was always hurt when hers were cleaned so she decided she would not hurt anyone if she could help it.
    Sue, I hope you are okay. Chris, are you traveling around or overwhelmed with jobs ? Lyn, hope your concert went well. It is always a joy after a performance that went well. I had trouble with my voice on Sunday. So hoarse and had to change the key I was in several times until I found where I could sing that day. All the damp affects it as well don’t you think ?
    All my love to you all, blessings for a wonderful day !
    Tonie

    • Tonie, I agree it has been extra quiet on here lately. I”m so pleased you got another job but what an awful story for that poor woman. So much larceny in some folks hearts. I think those who steal from the sick and needy should face a certain kind of hell, just for them. As you know my MIL had so much stuff stolen from her when she was so old and frail. I hope your lady calls. You would be just what she needs for help.
      Good you got your tomatoes in after having to drive to find them. Awe those dear deer. My DD had to put in a seven foot fence and they can probably jump that. Do hope your chickens are all safe these days. I’m sure you are so very anxious to get out there and get into the garden. I still have flowers to pot. Our yard guy was here today for our semi-annual clean up. I always wait until all the wild bulbs have bloomed before we have him come out but the grass was knee high with tons of wild foxgloves growing in the middle of our tiny lawn. It’s on a hill so he has to use a weedeater to cut it or he’d tumble down the hill. Love weather here today after a hideously hot one in the mid 80’s yesterday. Hey, we NW folks aren’t used to that.
      Had two bad days lately waiting for the methotrexate to chime in. I also had to get my teeth cleaned yesterday and love my gal. She is also very gentle and kind. I have to do it every four months because of some of the meds I get for cancer and bone loss. Oncologist tomorrow, shoulder injection on Thursday. Busy week for me but so much better with our lovely light, cool, dry spring weather.
      Hope you are feeling tolerably well. DO watch the yard work and the lifting, okay? Love you, Sue

  13. Hi
    Yep overwhelmed as usual…but went away today to coast .it was a lovely day 72 f no wind.got some crocs to wear in garden…do you have those ..my DD maintains I won’t trip up in those unlike my open toed sandals
    Very cheap they were so I got two..one for near back door and other for the front.as we’ve got four separate gardens in all
    Also had a picnic out..out all day so late back and hopefully sleep
    What a rotten thing to do to that poor lady tonie ..you’d be just right for her
    Terrible in the news of the bomb in Manchester …how can you go anywhere without worry.thats what they want..
    Chris

    • Chris, just saw this entry. I was getting prepared to write to you and say we are all praying for the people in Britain who have lost their children. What a world right now. They are busy protecting NYcity right now for the games this weekend so it’s a small world and we’re all affected.
      Yes we have crocs but I don’t personally have any. If it’s wet and squishy, I’m not going there. I do all my gardening on porch or deck and the yard guy does the rest. I love that you have four gardens. One of my FB friends from Cornwall commented yesterday, after I posted an old picture of my porch pots in bloom from last year, that you don’t see many front porches in Britain. Interesting.
      We’re enjoying brilliant, windy beautiful weather with a bit of rain tonight and tomorrow followed by five days of sun. What a luxury. How are you feeling? You seldom tell us. Hope DH is okay. Love to you and indeed, it is a scary world for all of us. Sue

  14. Chris
    I hadn’t seen the news about Manchester when I wrote the his am. So sad, so much evil in this world. Much in prayer for all the families.
    Sounds like you had a good day. Yes, I have crocs. I slide them on when it’s wet and I go to the chicken house. Although after it raining all day today I may well put on my Welles to go tuck them in tonight. We now may have sun on Thursday, yeah ! And Friday, but more rain on Sunday. You can’t get caught up for falling behind now ,
    Sue, I finally got a farrier, and from all his recommendations, he should be good. He is supposed to call me tonight, said maybe Friday.
    Well, more rain falling. We should have a flooded road and a stream running through the pasture again.
    Tonie

    • Tonie, Good you found a guy for the horses. Let’s hope this gent shows up. I know. All of these rain changes are so vicious for so many of us. So much water for you guys and I thought our 90+ inches this rainy season was bad out here. It only get terribly soggy in the lowlands and Astoria is large hill. Got muffins in the oven gotta go but be good to yourself on your wet and rainy days and rest if you can, Sue

  15. Hello everyone
    Moving really slow today. Almost : and have done nothing. I need to get dressed and go workout. Changing my routine and going to do some bicycling and weights today. I got another phone call from one of the farriers. So I will go with him, as the other guy was so stressed he was just doing me a favor. Next Friday.
    FM said in his email today that the schools are on high alert and of course, the teachers are now policemen and have to check everything and everyone. They are on lockdown which means no one in or out unless taken out by a teacher then the doors locked behind. How horrible to have to be in that situation. He is more than ready to leave.
    Supposed ot rain again today, but so far it is just showers off and on. We are on a hill here as well Sue. Hope your muffins were good. SOunds good, I think I will make some pumpkin ones when I get home today. DO take care all and have a wonderful day !!
    Love to all
    Tonie

  16. Hi all
    Nothing much done today .next door in for coffee this morning..out for scone ,then library.then to a police show on safety at home .
    Now sitting out in garden it’s just gone 8 pm
    Lazy sort of day..tomorow the boiler is being serviced..hope all goes well!!
    My dr rang about my knees she spoke to rheumy and they suggested X-ray and steroids…..I’m not sure if that would help me not falling
    She suggests it’s best to go to physio to strengthen them
    Gives a90f heat for weekend .
    Hoe all going ok for all
    Chris

    • Oh Chris
      I sure wish it were sunny here today ! Rain all night, most of the morning. It did clear off for a couple of hours, I actually saw the sun for a few moments ! I did get to talk to the horses a bit, set out a blueberry bush I bought, a few flowers, and weeded the flower bed. Yes, last night I wore my Welles to the chicken house, and looks like imwill again tonight. I just hope it clears up enough for me to mow mine and Judy’s yard before the rain again on Sunday. We have two days of 20% and then back to 80% for one day. Next week we have 4 days of nice then rain back for the weekend.
      I made some pumpkin muffins today after seeing Sue talking about muffins. This time I threw some blueberries in them. Really good. Sigh….I wish it would stop raining.
      Hope all is well with your boiler tomorrow. Yeah PT will help your knees, strengthen your muscles above the knee .
      Take care
      Tonie

  17. Hi, all. I just caught up. I think. Tired this evening, so not sure how much of what I read I can recall. Yes, Tonie, the concert went well. I sang well, which was a relief. The soprano soloist has the lion’s share in that work. I took it pretty easy Monday, but yesterday and today I was going all day long. They are predicting rain tomorrow, so hopefully, it will give me a chance to rest a bit. We’ll see. I also need to figure out what I can make for dinner with a lesson the half hour before dinner time. Always a challenge. Thinking of everyone and their challenges this week. Be good to yourselves, all!

  18. Good morning Lyn
    Well, you can have the rain for a while okay ? I had seen that you were not getting all this that we have been. BUT…there is a strange yellow ball in the sky today that I haven’t seen in a few days ! It is amazing how that the sun can make you feel so much better about things in general.
    I have never asked you, what lessons do you teach ? Singing ? Or Piano ?
    My crazy dogs have been barking all morning off and on, and when I go and look, I see nothing ! Something they smell I suppose.
    Hope you are resting today and that you feel better. Me, I am off to work.
    Have a great day all
    Tonie

    • Hi, Tonie, sorry I’ve been off for a while. I teach voice and flute. I have taught piano, but prefer not to. At one time I offered all woodwinds, but have since scaled back to just voice and flute.

  19. Hi
    Really hot here last few days.its a bank holiday here this weekend .
    Gives it breaking with thunder today or tomorrow.
    Thank goodness we are in this bedroom not our old one which got so hot whatever you did.this one faces east and is pleasant even in the morning with the blinds down
    Hips more sore for some reason don’t know why just are.using ice on them
    Eyes drier in this hot weather
    Had a BBQ last night and another hopefully today. Not much stuff just simple and easy to wash up after. We have a dishwasher here when we moved in but I do it all at the sink .theres just the two of us. AND it’s all computerised with little buttons I don’t know how to use,no instructions.so I can’t be bothered with it..I now use it to store stuff ! So I wash and DH dries ..we had one at the other house and I hated emptying it
    Hope all have a good weekend
    Hope you are ok Sue
    Chris

  20. Chris
    I LOVE my dishwasher and there is only one of me ! You can always look up the model online and usually find the instructions, if you ever want to use it.
    I just went to a fundraiser for the Methodist church near us. Got my truck washed, bought a nice wind chime they made, bid on a silent auction, and got a really good hotdog for lunch. Now I have to get outside and work. Tomorrow we are getting thunderstorms again also. So I need to catch up ! And work with the horse some.
    Yesterday is did too much, and had to take the MTX shot, so today I am moving slower than usual. Have you been stretching you hips ? I try to do that in the morning before I get out of bed. It helps me.
    Enjoy your BBQ ! I don’t have a grill, but use my sisters when I am in the mood. Maybe Monday I will grill me some brauts for supper.
    Here it is Memorial Day. We remember the soldiers who are fallen. I need to go to the cemetery tomorrow or Mon and put flags on Daddy’s and some other graves.
    Take care, it could be the weather affecting your hips.
    Tonie

  21. Trouble is tonie it doesnt say the model anywhere only the blimmin make.
    It could be several things with my hips just lately but the weather looks a strong contender
    Our rememberance day is the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month…..I went to my dads grave last year too..I put a poppy on it .that is the flower they use as its emblem of the day.
    Hope you are feeling better by now
    No I don’t do those stretches maYbe I should..I always ache after anything like that
    Chris

  22. Was just wondering how Sue is .hope all well
    Tonie I love wind chimes .i would like to get one of the big ones they have a very deep tone…but too expensive
    I do,like the Japanese glass ones as well ,they have a curious sound that reminds me of my childhood as my dad bought me one when I was about 10 . I can still hear the sound
    Chris

    • Chris dear, please forgive if I made you worry at all. It seems, like you, there is just so much of me to go around. Busy week this past one but a productive one. Dentist, grands, oncology appt. then a lovely morning out with my DD before going in to have my right shoulder injected. I have also been working on a new blog which will be posted soon. You see. I am naturally feeling all the effects of all of that activity. In between when I could talk my body into it I have been planting pots on our deck. We call it a deck but it is really the roof of our garage…flat and cemented over. The old garage which is far too old to fit a modern car into flows right into the basement of our house. We actually have a three storied Victorian Italianate which is high off the ground.

      My daughter and I went down to a nursery we normally like in another town down the coast on the Pacific O. That is always fun. I bought a miniature blueberry plant just covered in blossoms. Should be fun. Of course one has to buy extra pots for new plants and various flowers as old pots fade, etc. Jim drilled the necessary holes in the bottoms and I’ve been filling them up…resting my back, knees and hips, eye drops, hydrate then going back to it. I couldn’t do it all without my trusty cream I rub on. Love that stuff. Rained this morning and now warming up. Sorry you are having a heat wave. I remember your old hot bedroom. So glad this one is cooler. As I recall that is one of the things you liked when looking at the house you are in now.

      Chris, since you and I have such similar symptoms due to both having Sjogren’s Syndrome, I think many of your painful joints, like your hips are a result of that disease. The wear and tear on us which is usually labeled osteoarthritis is often that plus SS. The acute dryness in all glands which is brought on by this hideous disease…well, couldn’t it also cause the fluid in the joints to also suffer? I’ve never run into a rheumy who truly understands this disease so I am not sure. We just move forward each day and deal with what is dealt, don’t we? I’m sorry you don’t like your new dishwasher. I love mine but also don’t like bending to unload that bottom shelf. Jim often does the dishwasher bit for us. He’s pitched in so well since retiring. It’ been great. Do enjoy the shade and your BBQ. I never go to the trouble of doing that but know many enjoy it very much. My son is totally into it in Texas and so are his sons. They have smokers and the whole bit. Later, much love, Sue

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