CAN YOU HAVE CLEAVAGE WITH JUST ONE BREAST?

Depositphotos_32074157_xs

 

{Note from Natalie: Sue had written this earlier and she wanted it to go up before the normal Thursday. I apologize for the delay.}

 

Questions like this are filling my mind and traveling through my much overloaded brain today, the Sunday before I have a mastectomy next Tuesday. I hope you don’t mind I am writing this early as not to miss a week of chat with all of you.

 

Yesterday I went out to run some errands and stopping by the local lingerie shop to look at fake boobies. The dear lady who owns it lives across the street from us and was very helpful. There they were a whole closet full of varied sizes and shapes to be viewed. Bizarre but comforting to know, with only one breast, I won’t have to go through life looking like the hunchback of Notre Dame. Depending on one’s surgery, the shapes are round, triangular, etc. Who knew?

 

I never held a false, silicone breast, both unattached and wiggly, in my hand before; sort of like Jello with a nipple. They are surprisingly heavy. I kept “feeling up” myself to be convinced that was close to normal, but it’s a strange comparison because one’s own breasts are still attached.

 

I came away from the shop feeling better about my future. I have chosen not to have reconstruction, my personal choice, because I want the surgery over and completed. I don’t want the stretching and fitting of the skin that would be needed for reconstruction.  I’m too old to care about my breasts that much.  My life is so crowded with other concerns, with other health issues like losing my ass, keeping my eyesight, walking with no cartilage in my ankles, etc. Who has time for boobs? I do respect the choice of the younger women who want to have their “own” indwelling breasts restored. It’s personal, you know?

 

I’m pleased I have had such a short time to prepare; less time to worry about all the hideous possibilities the word “cancer” evokes. These few days have been filled with the practical, mostly, although I do confess to buying a smashing new jacket in the shop yesterday and lovely long sleeved “big shirt”, denim beset with roses. Vanity, oh sweet vanity; thy name is woman or something like that. I wrote a big check for both and didn’t feel any qualms at all. I have been beset by a sort of, “Oh, what the hell?” sort of attitude lately.

 

I have been lovingly encumbered by friends who are worried about me and a few who want to tell me about their cancer. As a general rule, I don’t listen because my training as a nurse is to know each individual patient is different. I do have two close cancer surviving friends who know not to frighten me and one in particular who has been a God-send of information. Yesterday she told me about a camisole with very soft, stuffing filled built-in boobies. I’m going to look into those. Sounds soft, comfy and nice. I’m glad I’m not that large because I don’t think it would be that noticeable nor would I want to frighten the mailman, etc.

 

Back to the subject of listening, reading, etc. I leave all of that regarding the surgery in my brilliant young surgeon’s hands and later my oncologist. Some have been surprised I didn’t read my pathology report when it was first handed to us ten days ago by my primary care physician. I handed it over to Jim, my dear spouse who is also a nurse, and said, “Here Honey, you can be in charge of this.” At first, I wasn’t sure why I did that. I think it was shock due to this startling diagnosis. I also didn’t want to frighten myself and go online to soak in the whole subject. I have had rheumatoid disease, Sjogren’s syndrome and irritable bowel syndrome for many years and that has been more than enough. This just tipped the scale for me and I wanted to find out all the actual facts, some of which have not appeared as yet. Oddly enough, when we were sitting on the couch at the surgeon’s office, she understood and actually admired my weird decision. Don’t I already have enough to frighten the feces out of me?

 

This remarkable young woman with a fine reputation who will be doing my surgery filled me with facts, with logic and with hope. She’s one of those amazingly intelligent doctors who talk and draw diagrams for you all at the same time. She thinks “out loud.” I like that and so did Jim.

 

I know there are some among you who might think, “Oh, this poor woman is in denial, surely.”

 

I don’t agree with that. I am a realist who uses humor to make it through a somewhat remarkable life. I don’t plan it or work at it. I simply have a smart ass mentality and choose humor over tragedy, laughter over tears and joy over sorrow. I have a deep faith in the presence of a higher, loving power and am not hypocritical. I believe and put my life and body where my faith is.

 

Of course, I’ve cried but only when speaking with my grown children. My thoughts are on getting this done, over and moving on to all my other health challenges and getting on with my life. The clock is ticking for me as for all of us. My physician also told me this would be a blip in the road for me and all of the other health issues I deal with are much more frightening to her than my cancer. I agree with her and pray that’s how it will be.

 

This weekend I am making out lists for all I need for a two day stay, doing laundry and cleaning the house. Who wants to come home, somewhat limited physically for a short while and have to relax in a dirty house? Not me! Now we’re not talking clutter because that I’ll never conquer that, I’m speaking of just plain dirt.

 

My dear friends, you will all be kept up to date on here or on Facebook by my dear daughter Beth. I take your prayers, love and comfort with me on this next venture and love you all the more for it. God is in charge and I place my life in the comfort of His loving plan for me. Onward.

 

 

 

 

72 thoughts on “CAN YOU HAVE CLEAVAGE WITH JUST ONE BREAST?

  1. Oh Sue I love your “smart ass” style and hope that you never lose it. Those camisoles with a bit of stuffing for the surgery side are very nice. I think you’d like them. Sometimes we don’t need to know everything and I love that you turned things over to Jim and left some things off your plate. I also love that you bought a couple things that you will love to wear next week. Sometimes you just have to make yourself smile.

  2. Sue I am glad I am reading this knowing all was ok with the glands etc. I know the bladder and nausea are there but that will go as the anaesthetic wears away
    Maybe you are home ,but take it easy you have all the time to recover .
    All the lingerie sounds comforting and the blouse pretty and nice to wear
    Didn’t expect a blog ..you are a battler ..and we all know that !
    Chrisx

  3. My goodness, Sue, I didn’t expect a blog this week, but I suppose shouldn’t be surprised. I’m so proud of how you are handling this whole situation. I won’t write a long post – I know you don’t need to be battling eyes and everything else by reading lengthy epistles when you should be resting. Gentle, gentle hugs. God bless.

  4. God bless you, Sue! I love your spunk and smart-ass style of humor. You continue to inspire me with your positive outlook. I agree, it’s nicer to relax without the dirt. Love you!

  5. Sue, Wasn’t expecting a post, but not surprised. It was your humor that first brought me to be a follower. You are unique and I love you. Please take care and hang in there. Janet

  6. Sue, I came looking for a blog because knowing you, I was not surprised to find one that you had written pre op! I too admire your humour. Please take time to rest and heal my brave friend.
    Much love and very gentle hugs, Brenda

  7. Dear Sue, that you prepared this before your surgery is so you. 🙂 You’re use of humor to deal with your health issues is how my mother dealt with her cancer treatments to keep her sane. I’ve done the same with my health issues and my two cancer bouts. If I didn’t I would be sitting in a corner, crying my eyeballs out. We can chose to keep our Faith, have a good laugh, a cry in the shower, and keep on truckin’. You are an amazing woman! Thankful our prayers are answered that your lymph nodes are clear (same major relief for me) and that you are now home. The Schmers and Stegers will continue to keep you in their prayers and the healing light beam with shine on you. Huggers, Ruby

  8. Dearest Sue:
    So glad you wrote this out beforehand and we still have your witticisms and prose on here as though nothing has happened. Judy and I were cleaning off her little flower garden on Monday, and I was telling her about the names of your blogs. We were laughing about them as I shared your wicked sense of humor that so matches ours. You rest up dear lady and snuggle with your dear little boys. I know George probably went bananas when you came home. It makes me smile to know that you have a little baby that so loves and misses you. It means the world to come home to those brown eyes (or sometimes blue) that are looking so full of love (and hunger for treats ) and ready to give all the love you can handle. Please know you are in all my prayers and those around me.

    Fran and Miss Alice are home now. I am still quite worn out from the whirlwind 5 hour trip yesterday. So no pool time for me today. They were very happy to be in their large home again instead of the close quarters of the condo in Cali. It was Ms Alice 92nd Birthday and I made her a pound cake, which is her favorite. I have to clean dirt today as well, Sue. I have an endless stream of it walking in the door all through the day s it is non stop. The chickies are eating their weight daily and growing like weeds. All is well in the chick kingdom
    More coffee.
    Love to all
    from a beautiful sunny Virginia
    Tonie

  9. Oh Sue, you are amazing, the wind beneath my wings. Prayers and angels continue to be sent your way. Just loved that blog! You had me laughing and then very concerned. Happy you bought that smashing new jacket and the big shirt with roses. It will make you feel better when you are up and about. Love you Sue!
    God Bless You as He always has.
    XXX

  10. Sue–so many good thoughts and heart-felt prayers have been offered up for you and with this wonderful news you received, I do believe they have been Answered!! Please take your time, heal, be wonderful to yourself and know—you are LOVED… martha

  11. HI SUE…HAD A FEELING YOU WOULD BLOG PRE OP…GET YOUR SLAP ON GIRL, TART YOURSELF UP, SEXY UNDIES THE BLOOMING LOT, MAKE YOURSELF FEEL A MILLION DOLLARS…..OH I LOVE THIS, YOU CAN EVEN WEAR BLOODY PURPLE IF YOU WANT TO….AND A BIG HAT……SO PLEASED YOU ARE HOME, QUITE MADE MY DAY…LOVE YOU DARLING, DON’T GET TIRED DOING TOO MUCH WILL YOU? ITS VERY EARLY DAYS…..SO GENTLY BENTLY OK…..HUGS …JENNIE XXX

  12. Hey all of you !
    Spoke with Sue earlier today. She is feeling very tired (naturally) and sore, and has some issues with her mouth from the tube. But all else aside is doing ok. Just thought I would let you know.
    Love to all
    Tonie

  13. It’s such early days yet for sue.and seems so early to be out of hosp.each new day will bring more strength.its that blimmin sjogrens that always comes in where it’s not wanted.thankyou for updating us Tonie
    You rest sue as much as you can and let your strength come back .i find Gaviscon soothes the throat a bit..dr suggested it once! The mouth bit seems to take its own time,but you know the drill with it.
    We have a pall of stuff in the air at the moment with sand from the Sahara ,my throat and eyes are so sore ,and people are advised not to go out. It’s those eye drops all the time…
    Well sue last week is over and a new week comming up you will get stronger ,thinking of you and that the pain subsides x

  14. HELLO FOLKS….WOW WHAT A BLOOMING DAY SO FAR……CLOSED DOWN THE OPEN FIRE FOR THE WINTER, AND WHAT DOES IT DO…..RAINS OF COURSE AND CHILLY WITH IT, THINK I MAY HAVE BEEN A BIT HASTY CHANGING ALL THE WINTER SHEETS AND DUVETS TO SUMMER WEIGHT TOO…..OH WELL, JUST HAVE TO FREEZE MY ASS OFF.
    STILL HAVEN’T HAD MY MAMMOGRAM RESULTS, SO STARTING TO SWEAT A BIT NOW, JUST WANT IT OVER AND DONE WITH. THINKING OF YOU SUE, EAT WELL AND KEEP YOUR STRENGTH UP SWEETPEA, THINGS CAN ONLY GET BETTER FROM HEREON……HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND EVERYONE….LOVE YOU ALL TO BITS……JENNIE XXXX

    • Jennie:
      I was thinking of moving out all my winter clothes but it is supposed to get cool again next week. 😦 The old north wind is coming back swooping down on us ! I always think of the cartoon images of the North Wind with the frosty face ! It is cool out there this am.
      I put some pic of my chickies on FB. Still no names yet. Can’t seem to get my mind wrapped around it yet.
      Take care love and be at peace with your results. He is in charge and you control NOTHING !! 🙂
      Love
      Tonie

      • Morning/afternoon everyone. Suzanne, we had a dusting of snow here too this morning after 2 days of chilly rain, sleet, ice, and wind. I put my polar fleece sheets away but kept the heavy weight quilts and down blankets on the beds. I’m still wearing heavy clothes too. Farmers around here are delayed and know that they are unlikely to be in the fields by May 1st when they usually start planting. At least we aren’t in a drought like the west.

        I’m so appreciative of the updates Toni. I was thinking of giving Sue a call but I think we need to limit the calls to one or two people so we don’t interrupt her rest right now. I’ll hold off and let others keep me updated.

        I hope I didn’t give the Impression I don’t pray directly to God, I always keep the direct line open and pray to God often throughout the day. I’ve prayed asking various saints to pray for me but that is not my normal beyond my prayers to Holy Mary during my rosary (Hail Mary full of grace blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus. Holy Mary pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen) I have been keeping all of you in my prayers for comfort and peace of mind including of course little Harry and his family.

  15. Thank you Tonie for keeping us up to date on Sue. Very much appreciated. The names will come in there own time.
    Oh Jennie, you sure did jump the gun on that one. This is the strangest year I’ve ever seen in my life. Sent Chris , Tonie and Sue pics of what we woke up to this morning. SNOW, SNOW SNOW…. ( I don’t have your e-mail Jennie poo). Won’t be putting anything away and gee by the time it all melts it will probably be time to get all the winter stuff out again. LOL. As Tonie says love, be at peace with your results when you get them. He is in charge! But we all know that don’t we sweetpea!
    Sue I’m sure you know what’s best for you and will do the right thing in order to heal properly. Healing prayers and angels coming your way.
    Love to all on the blog and the readers as Tonie would say.
    God bless and Happy Saturday to all.
    XXX

    • HI BOBSLED LAURA, Well we got tons of rain yesterday, so now it’s ice everywhere this morning. Not bringing Molly for a walk she can play in her pen which is quite large, besides having trouble walking these days. Getting off that prednisone is harder than I realized. The Rheumy told me I would get worse before I got better but this is really awful.
      So happy you kept your heavy quilts and warm clothes. I’m still wearing polar pants and turtle necks and sweaters over that. Still pretty chilly around here. I can see the snow is melting but still have much more than usual for this time of year. Not sure when to start my seeds in the house cause as I said before I don’t want to have to transplant and then again to put in the garden. Not sure I would be able to do the work anyways. I look forward to the day they finally find out what I have and have the proper medication to control this pain.
      Stay warm sweet Laura. I also say lots of Hail Marys. My father use to say the rosary on the radio when we where kids.
      love ya lots and God bless.
      XXX

  16. WELL MY DEARS, CAN WE CHAT FOR A FEW MOMENTS? I HAVE SO MUCH TO SHARE AND HOPE MANY FROM FB WILL FIND THIS BEFORE LONG AS MY ENERGY IS LOW RIGHT NOW..DUH? I MUST ADMIT UP FRONT THAT SOME OF THIS IS KIND OF MEDICALLY GRAPHIC AND WARN THOSE WHO ARE A BIT QUEASY WITH SUCH THINGS. OK????

    THE HOSPITAL WHERE I WENT FOR MY RECENT ( L. BREAST) MASTECTOMY FOR A CANCER GROWTH, WAS AT A WONDERFUL HOSPITAL IN PORTLAND, OR. GOOD SAMARITAN IS QUITE LARGE AND HAS SEVERAL WONDERFUL CANCER SURGEONS. THEY HAVE A MAGNIFICENT CANCER WING FOR TREATMENT AND PROCEDURES THAT LOOKS LIKE THE RITZ.
    I WAS TAKEN OVER THERE FOR THE RADIOGRAPHIC MATERIAL USED TO HIGHLIGHT THE NODES ABOVE THE BREAST INTO THE AUREOLA. I CAN’T SAY IT WAS THE BEST EXPERIENCE I’VE EVER HAD BUT IT WAS FAR FROM THE WORST AND THE PAIN WAS SHORT LIVED. AFTER BEING TREATED LIKE A QUEEN FOR SEVERAL HOURS, A SECOND EKG DONE BECAUSE THE ONE FROM ASTORIA DIDN’T ARRIVE, ETC. THE CHART WAS COMPOSED. WE HAD TO GET UP THAT MORNING SO I COULD TAKE MY USUAL PILLS OF THE DAY WITH YOGURT BEFORE BEING PUT NPO…NOTHING BY MOUTH. AFTER FIVE I WAS TO BE CONTINUALLY NPO FOR THE REMAINDER OF THAT DAY. I WAS WORRIED ABOUT MY MOUTH AND THROAT, AS WELL AS PAINFULLY DRY EYES AND DID TELL THE THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST TO GREASE THAT POLE HE WAS GOING TO SEND DOWN MY TRACHEA DURING SURGERY. I WAS VISITED BY SEVERAL RESIDENTS, DOCTORS AND THREE IN ANESTHESIA. I SAW MY OWN SURGEON PLUS THE DOCTORS IN HER SURGICAL TEAM. ALL MY SURGEONS WERE FEMALE. FRANKLY, I WAS RELIEVED TO BE THERE AND GETTING ON WITH IT: OR SHOULD I SAY OFF WITH IT? I KEPT THINKING OF THAT OLD HX BIT, “OFF WITH HER HEAD, OFF WITH HER HEAD” BUT FOR ME IT WOULD BE OFF WITH HER BREAST. I’M NO MARIE ANTOINETTE AND DURING MY TIME OF REST, WHILE WATCHING JIM SWING FROM WORRIED INTENTLY TO DOZING IN A SMALL CUBBY HOLE NEXT TO ME…I PRAYED FOR ALL OF YOU, MY DEARS WHO WERE, I KNEW, ALSO PRAYING FOR ME. DID I FEEL FEAR? I ONLY FELT EXCITEMENT AND SOME DEGREE OF NERVOUS ANTICIPATION.

    THE TIME FINALLY ARRIVED AND I WAS SPED OFF……… THEN I REMEMBER BEING AWAKENED BY A DARLING, BRIGHT, EXCITED DOCTOR CALLING MY NAME TO TELL ME, DIRECTLY IN MY FACE, THAT THE SENTINEL NODES WERE CLEAR OF METS FROM THE CANCER THAT WAS IN MY BREAST. I FELT SUCH THANKSGIVING AND THEN SHE SAID SHE WAS HEADED OUT TO TELL JIM. AFTER A RESPECTABLY SAFE TIME IN RECOVERY I WAS HEALED HALF WAY ACROSS THE HOSPITAL TO MY ROOM DIRECTLY ACROSS FROM THE NURSES STATION..A PRIVATE ONE. i IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF A COMMERCIAL ON TV ABOUT BREATHING BECAUSE I FELT AS IF THERE WAS A LARGE ELEPHANT SITTING ON MY CHEST. THE PAIN WAS INTENSE. I KNOW I SHOULD TELL YOU IT WASN’T THAT BAD. I DO NOT LIE TO MY FRIENDS BUT DO KEEP IN MIND THAT EACH OF US ARE NOT ONLY INDIVIDUALS IN OUR PERSONAL, SPIRITUAL AND SOCIAL LIVES BUT ALSO IN HOW WE REACT TO SURGERY. I WAS IN AN IMMENSE AMOUNT OF PAIN. I NEVER PUSHED MY CALL LIGHT UNTIL THE THIRD DAY BECAUSE SOME SWEET NURSES OR OTHER HELPER WAS ALWAYS COMING INTO AND OUT OF THE ROOM. I WAS CONTINUOUSLY OFFERED PRE-WARMED BLANKETS, SIPS OF ICE BITS, MEDICATIONS, ETC. OF COURSE, I HAD THE IV’S HANGING, A DRAIN THAT FED INTO A JACKSON-PRATT PUMP THAT HUNG ON MY GOWN AND ANOTHER SMALL GRAPEFRUIT SIZED UNIT THAT WAS ON VIA FANNY PAK THAT EXISTED TO SHOOT ONE OF THE CAINE DRUGS INTO MY SURGERY SITE TO TRY TO GIVE ADDITIONAL COMFORT. THAT DAMN ELEPHANT CONTINUED TO SIT ON MY CHEST.

    I VOMITED IN RECOVERY, IN MY ROOM AND ANY TIME I MOVED ANY PART OF MY BODY OR HEAD. ON THE SEOND DAY A TREMENDOUS HEADACHE BEGAN AND WAS EVENTUALLY OVER POWERED WHEN THE PHARMACIST AND I REALIZED ONE OF MY PRN’S WAS THE PAIN MED FROM HOME THAT HAVE TAKEN EVERY DAY FOR MANY YEARS, WHICH CONTAINS CAFFEINE. I WAS IN CAFFEINE WITHDRAWAL AND I DON’T DRINK COFFEE, ETC. LET ME CLOSE THIS UP WITH SO MUCH MORE TO SAY BY SHARING THE ELEPHANT ON MY CHEST HAD AN EXCELLENT REASON FOR STAYING THERE. THE DOCTOR EXPLAINED WHEN I WAS ABLE TO HEAR IT THE STORY OF MY SURGERY. AS SHE WAS LIFTING OFF MY BREAST, I KNOW STILL SOUNDS CREEPY TO ME, TOO, SHE AND HER RESIDENT PHYSICIAN SAW MY CHEST WALL MUSCLES BEGIN TO QUIVER. THEN IT BEGAN TO HEMORRHAGE BENEATH THEM AND THIS ENORMOUS HEMORRHAGIC PUDDLE OF BLOOD BEGAN TO POOL BENEATH THE MUSCLE FIBERS. SHE HAD TO QUICKLY SLICE OPEN THAT MUSCLE AND GRAB SURGICAL SPONGES AND PILE THEM IN THERE TO KEEP IT FROM CLOTTING AND TO GET IT OUT OF THERE. IN ORDER TO DO THAT SHE HAD TO THROW HER BODY ONTO A STOOL AND LEAN HER THANKFULLY SMALL BODY AND HER GLOVED HANDS ONTO MY CHEST AND PRESS WITH ALL OF HERSELF…LEANING ON ME. SOMETHING DID SIT ON MY CHEST BUT IT WASN’T AN ELEPHANT. IT WAS MY BLESSED, MUCH LOVED SURGEON SAVING MY LIFE. I AM NOW WRAPPED TIGHTLY AND STILL IMMENSELY SORE.

    I’M NOW HOME BUT AFTER THREE DAYS OF PUKING, HAVING TROUBLE URINATING AND BEING STRAIGHT CATHED BECAUSE I WOULDN’T ALLOW AN INDWELLING CATH DUE TO PREVIOUS INFECTIONS IN THE BLADDER. MY MOUTH, LIPS, NOSE AND TRACHEA ARE PAINFUL BUT I KNOW IT WILL PASS. I HAD A THRUSH INFECTION FROM ALL OF THESE PROBLEMS AND ANTIBIOTIC IV. I COULD FINALLY EAT A BIT OF REGULAR FOOD WITHOUT TEARS DUE TO A PAINFUL MOUTH, TODAY AND ENJOYED IT MUCH. I AM BEING HEALED AS I SPEAK…STILL A BIT LOADED AND SO THANKFUL FOR EACH OF YOU AND BEING WRAPPED IN A COCOON OF LOVE. THE EYES ARE BAD BUT WILL GET BETTER. I’M POOPED AND MUST CLOSE FOR THE NIGHT. LOVE AND THANKFULNESS TO EACH OF YOU MY DEARS. SUE

    • P.S. DEAR READERS AND FRIENDS, MY DOCTOR TOLD ME SHE HAD NEVER HAD THAT BLEEDING BENEATH A QUIVERING MUSCLE OCCUR BEFORE….OH YES. GOODNIGHT TO ALL…WE WILL TALK TOMORROW. LOVE YOU…SUE

    • OH Sue, this is so good and so bad. The first few days post anesthesia are the absolute worst. Looks like they could come up with one that doesn’t make you puke your guts up and use already sore muscles. After a couple of rotations in surgery, I understood the soreness people feel afterwards; it isn’t the surgery, it’s the people there. I know I cried after a surgeon had me and another student help him with a vaginal hysterectomy. We had to each hold a leg in an odd position. The only way I could keep that heavy leg up was to prop my elbow on the girls pubic bone. Later, I thought of how sore that had to have made her. The doctor also nicked her bladder (which he blamed on us, big surprise), so more pain and soreness for her.
      I thank God that you had no mets. I understand you wanting to allow Jim to “handle” it. Sometimes we just have so much to handle, we just need someone to depend on for a while. I’m a big one to research everything, too, and often I blow things up greater than they actually are. So, it’s easier not to know until those who are truly informed fill us in. I like your surgeons, and have never met them! I think when a fellow nurse likes a doctor and her nursing care, she has top notch.
      I’m sending so much love to you and so many prayers. God be with you.
      Linda

  17. Bloody hell sue..you get the most odd things
    So good to hear from you and such a long long post,which was so, welcome
    I do hope you sleep well as I write
    ThAt dr sounds like a marvel
    So many things to cope with at once but slowly it seems they are untangling one by one..I hope they do so bloody quick now .but it is so early days it’s so great you are home
    Sleep well x

  18. SUE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT POST, THE GRAPHIC SIDE OF IT BOTHERED ME NOT AT ALL, HAVING WORKED IN HOSPITALS MOST OF MY WORKING LIFE….BUT IT TOUCHED ME AND LEFT ME WITH A HUGE FREAKING LUMP IN MY THROAT WHEN I THINK OF YOUR ORDEAL…….I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD EXCEPT PRAISE FOR YOU IMMENSE COURAGE, AND WILL CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR YOUR RECOVERY. MY DEAR FRIEND, KNOW THAT YOU REMAIN IN MY THOUGHTS DAILY……..I WILL BE GLAD WHEN I CAN CALL YOU, BUT FOR NOW FEELING BETTER FOR YOUR POST….I LOVE YOU HEAPS……JENNIE XX

  19. SUe:
    So glad you are done with all that. ANd so glad you are healing quickly as prayed for. Your strength and fast healing are all answers to prayers. I know you are in good hands. Do rest, eat and recupe. Love you muchly
    Tonie

  20. Sue so nice to hear from you. I’m sure it took a lot out of you to do that for us. Thank you! That was quite the ordeal but you got through it my friend. The worse I think , is now over and time for you to take care of you. Hope you can enjoy your food once more.
    Love you big! Time for you to rest so you can heal. Sending angels and healing prayers continuously.
    XXX

  21. Like everyone else, I am so very happy to hear from you, Sue. Please do rest, manage your meds and yourself. I’m sure you are being well cared for by your guys (human and furry), DD and Grands. Blessings.

  22. WELL BACK AGAIN, LOVING THE NEW MACHINE, THE KEYS ARE BIGGER SO I CAN DUMP THE GLASSES, HOPE YOU ARE ALL HAVING A GOOD DAY, REMEMBER ME SAYING WE WERE IN FOR A GOOD WEEK WEATHERWISE, WELL STILL WAITING.
    GOT ALL THE LAUNDRY DONE TODAY, CHANGE OVER TO SUMMER STUFF NOW COMPLETE…..YIPEEE.
    SUE DON’T KNOW IF YOU ARE UP TO READING ALL OUR POSTS, ANYWAY, JUST WANTED TO SAY HI, AND HOPE THIS NEW DAY IS EASIER THAN YESTERDAY, AND TOMORROW EASIER THAN TODAY…..EVERY DAY, IN EVERY WAY, YOU ARE GETTING BETTER AND BETTER….MY MANTRA FOR THE LAST FEW YEARS…………….ALL LOVE TO EACH……JENNIE XXXXXX

  23. “Rainy days and Mondays always get me down “..
    Lots of rain today, gone now with cooler temps. Sat with Ms Alice today, was good to be back with her. The fog rolled in and it looked like San Francisco ! Where she lives is higher up than me, so they get the mtn fogs. Ours is usually gone when the sun comes in.
    Grocery shopping. UGH ! Does everyone hate it like I do ? Got home from church yesterday and the chickies had jumped ship and were out of their crate. So, I took them outside and put them in the dogs pen. They are loving it ! I got home and went to check on them, they came running when they heard me. Went to get them some more food and they were waiting for me by the gate when I got back. They are so cute ! THey think you are their mommy. Well a little rest now. All are fed and locked up for the night.
    Sue hope this finds you feeling better each day.
    Love to you all
    Tonie

    • HI TONIE……MOTHER HEN, HA I LIKE THAT, JUST DON’T START LAYING ANY EGGS HUH? I LOVED THE “PICS” YOU PUT OF THE CHICKS ON F/B, I BET EVEN NOW THEY ARE LOOKING MORE LIKE TEENAGERS HA HA!! NICE TO SEE YOU ARE BACK WITH MISS ALICE, HOW ARE YOUR HANDS PET?….LOVE YOU….JENNIE POO XX

  24. Yea Tonie
    Hate it ..shopping..putting it away….I like the cooking bit tho

    Jen
    Glad the comp is to your liking!
    Speak soon
    Raining here all today .school is on hols shame

    Sue
    Like all the others thinking of you and that you are healing
    Chris

  25. Sue, hope each day finds you with less pain and more energy. Rest and heal my friend, you have been through so much.
    I was finally forced to contact my new doctor and we agreed I was experiencing a very bad flare from treatment failure, and there will be changes … but that story is for another time. I have had my last dose of Orencia, and even the smallest response will be welcome, as I can only tolerate walking short distances around the house. I am now beginning the washout period required before I can begin any kind of new treatment, and this flare will most likely continue until then.
    Please rest knowing you are surrounded in love and prayers by all those who love you … and a little puppy named George!
    Much love and prayers ….. Pommum Brenda

    • POMMUM…..I HOPE YOU GET A RESPONSE, AND CAN GET ON WITH YOUR NEW TREATMENT, POOR LOVE, YOU ARE NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME OF IT RIGHT NOW ARE YOU LOVE, HOPEFULLY BETTER DAYS TO COME….LOVE JENNIE XX

    • Pommum Brenda
      I pray you get relief from all the flaring. And that you get a treatment which will work for you now and in the future.
      The preacher who is taking care of us til our pastor heals has RA as well. He has switched Dr’s and they took him off MTX said it was a DANGEROUS drug 🙂 He is now without treatment and in limbo. I have to wonder about these Dr’s. Do take care and know you are in my prayers
      Love
      TOnie

      • Pommum Brenda, sending healing prayers your way. That washout period will be tough but has to happen before you begin your new treatment. Still,, so happy you went to see the doc. Hopefully this new treatment will work for you sweetheart.
        Now I’m waiting on the Rheumy to call me but no idea when. We always seem to be at the mercy of these docs.
        Hoping the washout period is not too long. Sending you angels and prayers to help you get through this rough go. You take good care, love ya wise woman.
        XXX

  26. COMPUTER GOOD, RESULTS GOOD, BUT PANICKED WHEN I DIDN’T SEE NEGATIVE ON THE REPORT, THE WAITING CAUSED MUCH STRESS, AND HAS GIVEN ME A GOOD DOSE OF IBS AND DIVER….AH WELL I WILL GET IT SORTED OUT, LOVE TO EVERYONE……..JENNIE XX

  27. Morning all !
    Gotta get up and “at em ! It is time to go to work, and I gotta go feed all the chickies first. I pray you all have a wonderfully blessed day. Spring is here and it fills the heart with Joy at all the new “birth” or I should say re=birth of all the growing things. Everywhere I go I see baby animals out. It is so sweet. We are to get much storms and rain from the storms down south of us. Hopefully it will be short lived and we see some sunshine soon !
    Love to you all
    Tonie

  28. Good morning, It is raining cats and dogs here. Guess that should help melt the snow, but not so great for the body. Should get news on Long Term disability Wed. or Thurs. saying a prayer that all this will works out for me.
    Tonie you had me laughing with the chickens following you. Imagine when George get turkeys (2,000) of course they are in different buildings when they get older, but every morning when he goes to care for them they all coming running to him. It is quite the sight.
    Your little chicks are going fast, notice there feathers changing. Hope you have a good day with Miss Alice.

    Sue I’m sure with your DH your are being well taken care of. Love to both of you. Hope those angels helped you get through that hard first week and you are starting to feel a little better.

    Love to all, have a fabulous day!
    God bless
    XXX

  29. SUE, WOW, SO GOOD TO SEE SUCH A LONG POST FROM YOU. I HOPE AND PRAY THAT EACH DAY THAT PASSES YOU ARE FEELING A WEE BIT BETTER AND MAKE CONTINUAL PROGRESS TOWARDS HEALING. YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH. YOU HAVE BEEN SUCH AN INSPIIRATION AND A ROLE MODEL TO US ALL IN THE WAY YOU HAVE HANDLED THIS LATEST CHALLENGE. MY CONTINUAL PRAYERS FOR HEALING. I KNOW YOU MUST BE HAPPY TO BE HOME IN YOUR OWN BED WITH YOUR LITTLE DOGGIES AND DEAR HUSBAND. THINKING ABOUT YOU AND SENDING MY LOVE…..JO XOXO

    • Jo dear, thanks so much. I feel each of your prayers. Have a good trip…I know it will be emotional so you do what’s best for you, okay? Love you, Sue

  30. SUZANNE…JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM SAYING SOME EXTRA PRAYERS FOR YOU TO GET YOUR LONG TERM DISABIILITY. I SURE HOPE YOU HEAR SOME GOOD NEWS IN THE NEXT DAY OR TWO. KEEPING MY FINGERS AND TOES CROSSED FOR YOU. WILL STAY IN TOUCH WHILE I AM VISITING CHICAGO AND MY MOM. . MUCH LOVE TO YOU. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF…JO XXXX

  31. Good morning all, hopefully I will get the call today rather than tomorrow. That would be a big stress off my mind.
    Hope everyone is feeling a little less pain today. Saying prayers for all of you.
    Jo you must be packing and getting ready to visit your mom. Sending angels your way to help you.
    Thank you Chris,how are things for you these days?
    Tonie did that hot tub help you yesterday? You always do so much. I keep wondering how you manage with that pain?

    Sue, sending healing prayers and hope you are starting to feel a bit better every day.

    Love you all,
    God Bless you !
    XXX

  32. SUzanne:
    I didn’t get to the hottub. ANd not today either, I did swim a bit though. They were having a therapy session in it when I was going in, so … Maybe Friday.
    As far as managing. I am determined to do as much as I can while I can. I don’t always feel up to it, but I push myself to do what I can. It is just how I am. Years of being on my own with 2 kids to raise. No one to do it for you so you just do it. Today I was at my limit, so came home, fixed a bite to eat, pj’s on and hit the bed to read and relax. Now it is sleepy time. The dentist tomorrow.
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Well hopefully Friday will be a good day for you to get into that hot tub. Yes raising two children alone is quite a feat. Now don’t push yourself to much Tonie, you have to take care also.
      Hope you had a good day!
      love ya sweetpea!
      XXX

  33. Hi all
    Tonie you are like me in a way.my DH has always been ill and had to stop work at 45 so I have done everything. In a way I like all to be as I want it which drives me.
    Suzanne
    I’m doing ok .but always busy with my dad .he seems to have gone down a bit since coming home from hosp.
    He goes around the flats where he is on his buggy and he can’t controll it.he ended up halfway up a wall and the warden had to help him out of it.then he fell when back at his flat .then he is sounding very down.
    Also the ambulance wouldn’t take him for a scan which he had been waiting for,of his chest becos he had wet himself .he was ok with his catheter out in hosp and now he’s not. It’s making him feel he ..well you know,I can’t put it into words
    Sue hope you ok and resting
    Chris

  34. THINGS MORE CHEERFUL IN OUR HOUSE SINCE I GOT MY CALL CLEAR RESULTS, SOMEONE TRIED TO HACK ME AGAIN ON MY NEW LAPTOP DESPITE CHANGING ALL MY PASSWORDS…..A WORD TO THE WISE, THERE IS A TEAM OF HACKERS KNOW AS “HEARTBREAKERS” THEY CAN HACK INTO ANYONE IN ANY COUNTRY, YOU NEED TO ALL CHANGE YOUR PASSWORDS AS SOON AS YOU READ THIS….YAHOO HAVE COME A FAIR WAY IN SORTING THIS OUT, BUT GOOGLE ARE STRUGGLING, ANYONE WHO DOES BANKING ONLINE….WELL I WOULDN’T, FIND ANOTHER WAY.NOT TRYING TO SCAREMONGER HERE, JUST PASSING ON VITAL INFO…..AND LEAVING IT UP TO YOU. ………LOVE JENNIE

  35. Good for you Jennie poo! Good news here also. My sister will be operated on May 14th. I got a call and will be getting my Long Term Disability.
    Be back later.
    XXX

    • I AM SO PLEASED FOR YOU SUZANNE, ITS A PITY OUR TONIE CAN’T GET THE SAME RESULTS, BUT SHE WILL IN THE LONG RUN I’M SURE. I WILL BE GLAD WHEN YOUR SISTER HAS HAD HER OP, AND LIKE SUE, ON THE ROAD TO BETTER HEALTH , PLEASE GOD……SENT YOU AN F/B MESSAGE…..LOVE JENNIE POO XX

      • Yes it is wonderful news for my sister. My DD & her two children ( 14 – 9 yrs old) are going to spend Easter weekend with her. She is really excited that they are coming for a couple of days. Too bad I can’t go but it’s a 10 hour drive, to far for me. Then on the way home she will stop and see my other sister and sleep over one night. Maybe one day I’ll be able to do that once more. God only knows.
        RELIEF is the right word Sue. I was getting very nervous about paying my bills, but now I can rest easy. I also have my School Board insurance for pills…..etc. for one year. Then we will see what we will do after that.

        How are you doing Sue? I can see you are on the blog but….. sending you healing prayers and angels.
        Love you big!
        XXX

  36. Suzanne
    That’s good news about the disability …roll on for Tonie
    Like Jen be glad when your sister has the op
    Blimmin nuicience with these passwords
    Chris

  37. Sue
    Well how ya doin girl
    Good to hear you
    You keep well HEAR ME
    Going into our bedtime now…huh whom I kidding!
    Well been a busy with this bliming password change .what a load of whatsits to cause such mayhem!
    Chris

  38. Oh Chris, that is so hard on you and your father. I will say extra prayers for you & your dad..

    Yes I hope Tonie gets LTD also, I’m not sure how it all works in the USA. Guess it must be different rules. Mine is coming from the School Board I worked for.
    Oh dear yes,must change all my passwords. But still feeling sick and dizzy guess it’s coming off the prednisone. Sleeping most of the time, just not functioning.

    Sue, so happy to see you on the blog. You keep taking good care of yourself. Hope the pain is manageable. XXX

    Got my MRI April 17th at 10:00 a.m. – feel like things are happening. Thank you to God and for all your prayers offered to him for me. love to all and gentle hugs.
    God continue to bless all on this blog.
    XXX

  39. Laura, and any one else that’s Catholic. Although my mom was not raised Catholic, her dad was Catholic and a lot of her relatives. She always was very interested in the Catholic faith and talked a lot of converting in her later years. I was with her one day, and she proudly told me she had learned “Hail Mary” and proceeded to recite it for me. She goes “Hail Mary, full of grace, blessed art thou among women, blessed is the fruit of they loom”….. I lost it there, and it took her a while to realize what she had said. Now, I can’t say it without stopping to make sure I don’t say “loom”!
    Sue, reading your comments above, the song came to mind “You lift me up, so I can stand on mountains, You lift me up, etc”. He lifts us all up, and one of the ways He lifts me is through your words and the comments of the wonderful folks here.
    Much love to all.
    Linda

  40. Hey all:
    Hope you are all well this am/ Ceasar woke me up and now I can’t get back to sleep. Was sleeping so good too . I had a dentist apt yesterday and my mouth and jaws are very sore today. Novacaine make me so sicky. I had three little fillings done all in the front of my mouth. So all the front was numb along with my nose. I was not a happy camper. It is warming up here and that is finally good 🙂
    I go to the surgeon on Tuesday to see about my shoulder. Both are hurting a bit these days. Be glad to get the one done at least. then we see about the other.
    Suzanne so happy to hear about your disability. Yes it works different in the states. Unless you have insurance for disability, and that only pays a short time. I will draw off my social security that I have paid in over the years of working. It will come in God’s good time.
    Sue, rest up dear heart. Love you muchly
    Love to you all
    Tonie

  41. Good morning,
    Well Tonie happy that the dentist is over with for now. It is starting to warm up here a little bit and the sun is shining, fabulous!
    Hope all will go well for you on Tuesday. Will be sending you angels and extra prayers.
    Yes my Long Term Disability is only til I’m 65 it’s not for the rest of my life. Then I would get my old age pension. Will have to find out all the in’s and out’s of that. Not really sure how it all works but will start finding out so there will be no surprises.
    You are right it will come in God’s good time Tonie.

    Chris hope things are going a little better for your dad. Poor soul! Will he finally get the scan? Very stressful for you my dear.

    Linda what a nice post, but you certainly had me laughing with the “loom”. It’s so nice to laugh, thank you for that.

    Happy Friday to all. Love you Big!
    God bless.
    XXX

  42. HELLO FOLKS……JUST A QUICKIE……I GOT THE NAME OF THE HACKERS WRONG, CHRIS PUT ME RIGHT, ITS CALLED “HEARTBLEED” NOT HEARTBREAK LIKE I SAID…..SILLY ASS, TRUST ME TO GET IT WRONG. ANYWAY, GOOGLE IT AND IT WILL TELL YOU WHAT AND WHAT NOT TO DO……
    SUE …..GREAT TO SEE YOU ON HERE AGAIN, WE HAVE ALL MISSED YOU BIG, AND THANK YOU FOR COMMENTING ON MY CLEAR SCAN, I WASN’T GOING TO POST IT OWING TO WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOU, BUT YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME TO SHARE GOOD NEWS AS WELL AS THE BAD.
    CHRIS…..I WILL CALL YOU WHEN YOU ARE FREE, AND HAVE A CATCH UP,HOPE YOU SORTED YOUR SHOE PROBLEM OUT.
    SUZANNE……NOW YOU ARE IN THE MONEY…BUY A TICKET TO FRANCE, AND STAY HERE FOR AWHILE…..HA HA!! THAT WOULD BE FUN, REALLY PLEASED THAT YOU GOT YOUR COMPO…..X
    TONIE……I HOPE YOU ARE RECOVERING NOW FROM YOUR DENTAL TREATMENT, I AM SURE WHEN MY DENTIST INJECTED MY GUMS LAST YEAR IT LEFT ME WITH THE JAW PAIN THAT YOU GET TOO, I GOOGLED IT, AND IT SAID THAT. I WILL BE THINKING OF YOU ON TUESDAY LOVE, I DO HOPE THEY CAN SORT YOU OUT…..HOW ARE THE CHICKS DOING??? X
    WELL ALL FOR NOW, HAVE A GOOD FRIDAY AND WEEKEND….OH YES, JO GOT TO CHICAGO OK, ALONG WITH A BIG HEADACHE, STRESS I THINK, WILL TALK TO HER IN THE WEEK…….LOVE TO ALL……JENNIE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  43. Hello, everyone! Very busy week here, but I think I finally caught up with blog happenings. I’ve left a few little notes along the way of reading through. I didn’t trust myself to remember what I wanted to say after reading all entries. Thinking of all and hoping you have a restful and wonderful weekend!

  44. Hi my peeps;
    I have been staying off line for long periods and changing my pass word each day and hope the worry over this wretched virus will soon be gone. It appears that spring has finally arrived, and with the promise of rain the next few days, the remnants of snow in our yard should finally vanish. I had my final orencia infusion on Monday with no response, and my pain has actually become worse! Today was a Cottage Show to which we had been given passes to attend by a vendor we wished to speak with, but alas, I had to attend in a wheelchair for I cannot walk for pain in my feet, ankles and knees! I had hoped I would never require that wheel chair again, or at least not for many years, but what do they say … never say never! I have little to complain about with what our dear Sue is going through at this time, and I hope she can feel our love and know that she is in our prayers. My wish and prayer for her is that she has found that “Peace that is past all understanding” at this heartrending time.
    Much love to all …… Pommum

  45. Pommum, my dear Brenda, you are ever in my thoughts. How can one compare sorrows or pain and suffering? We each feel what we feel within ourselves and then also share the pain reflected from the experiences of our dear friends. As nurses, we learn, you and I, to see, recognize and give aide whenever we can but also know the spiritual side of life must be strong. Physical pain is of all variations and you have had so many of them, I know. I admire you so greatly that’s why it breaks my heart to see you like this. You have my hope and prayers for some new answers..new doors with this new doctor. I love you sweet lady. My troubles will be revealed, to whatever degree, sooner or later and we will know. Chemo for certain it seems, then in a few months radiation..but things could change. Just pray for now it has only spread to those few lymph nodes. My life, yours and each of us is truly in the hands of our dear Maker. Love, Sue

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s