What The Heart Feels

For many years, more than ten, in fact, I have been sharing my health experiences online. Yes, I am that older woman who goes online and talks about her struggles with sacroiliitis, among other things as the list grows. The sacroiliac is the large joint on each side of your behind that connects to your hips and holds up the body when one sits. I have introduced all of my faithful readers to every term in the dictionary for one’s derriere, buttock, rear end, tushie and po po, just to name a few. When you have this particular problem, you have to develop a sense of humor and develop it quickly. One day I dropped in to say hello to two of the doctors’ I had worked with as a director of nursing. The elder of the two asked me what the prognosis was for my condition. I answered, “I’m not sure but I think one day I’ll be walking down the street and my ass will fall off.”
Well, folks, it’s still here. Many years previously I wrote articles for and about those of us who suffer chronic pain and illness. Psychologists, medical doctors and counselors hand out advice like samples at Costco while many of us share over the “back fence” with our neighbors and friends. We chat, we whine, we listen and sometimes, we learn. Since God has allowed this kind of life to befall me, and actually fell me at times, I have often been thankful I had the education and experience of being a nurse. Did being an RN help my pain? No, but it did help me, thousands of times over these many years, to keep my perspective as did my previous college education in the liberal arts. Blood, guts, misery, art and poetry make for an interesting life; at least for me.
Nursing memories and experiences taught me much about the human condition. One major profundity I came away with was the indisputable fact we do not suffer alone. Heartache, pain, disappointment and loss fall upon all who live and breathe in this crazy world of ours. We always behave as though we are the first to experience these blows, but surely, deep in our hearts we know we are not alone. When we are hurting, we don’t care about someone else’s pain. We are engrossed and overwhelmed with our own and that is how it truly has to be for survival. The problems arise when we don’t get help or pull out of that episode long enough or soon enough to move on. Many of us carry pain with us for years but there are ways to live with it. Haven’t I been “preaching” that for years?
One of the most amazing coping mechanisms of all time is empathy, caring and understanding for others. There is no better place to learn empathy than working in a hospital. This can most quickly be absorbed and in greater variety in an emergency room. Please let me share a bit of prose about true experiences I have had on numerous days and nights in an ER setting.

THE EMERGENCY ROOM
Chaos and boredom,
both live here,
accompanied by the depressed,
the hysterics as well as the chronically ill.
The adrenaline of human life
seeps into the air,
while bloods spills onto its floors.

A young skateboarder, waiting for his parents,
lies on a gurney, crying due to a broken leg
from colliding with a minivan.

A young mother of a toddler
weeps as her feverish and screaming child
is sponged off by an aging nurse,
with a raging headache.

An elderly, white-haired octogenarian
sweats so profusely,
the cardiac leads begin to slide off his chest,
as he contemplates the possibility of death.
His tiny, gray haired wife of sixty years
is piteously clutching his hand.

In one of the curtained off cubicles
a homeless woman clutches an ice pack
to her bruised and bleeding face,
As she weeps quietly.
Her river of tears the only clean spot
On a filthy, world weary countenance.

A young ER physician is obsessing
about his new Nike’s a drunk has just
vomited on, as he wonders
how he will make it through a 24-hour shift.

Hostility erupts when a drunken father
While holding on to his wounded daughter’s hand
Screams to all within range it is not his fault.
He is unharmed, the top of the little girl’s skull is crushed.
The highway patrolman said
the still inebriated man had run a red light
and hit a semi-tractor trailer rig.

A young nurse is struggling to get a medical history
from a young man who doesn’t speak English
and is afraid he will be deported because he is illegal.

On one particularly tragic night
a young gang member is brought in on a gurney,
dying, from a gunshot wound inflicted by his own brother.
About an hour after the dying man arrives,
their mother is brought in having a heart attack
because she has been told about her sons. The ER
was filled with policemen that night,
attempting to keep peace
where there is none, but should be.

The boredom of headaches,
chronic backaches,
drug addicts and the lonely seeking attention
is often broken by heartache.

One can learn a lot in an emergency room. The whole of human life comes and goes in there, day and night. We are not alone in what we suffer. Pain comes in many forms reminding us we are not unique, we are not cursed, we are not alone in our suffering. We are simply part of the human condition. In your heart, you know.

86 thoughts on “What The Heart Feels

  1. Beautiful writing, Sue! I laughed my ass off when you told the doctor who asked your prognosis that you thought one day you’d be walking down the street and your ass would fall off. The visual of that happening made me laugh out loud. I hope you, Jim and Georgie are surviving this wet winter okay. I’m currently in bed with a nasty cold but am grateful to be retired so I have the luxury of lazing. Remember those days when we had to go to work with pains and illness? No fun at all. Thanks for writing and brightening my day. Sending you love.❤️

    • Karen, lovely to hear from you, always but not so lovely a rotten cold. My gosh girl, Calif. has certainly had the rain this girl. Just when we think it’s over there it is for you once again. Glad Oroville dam seems to stable at this time. Couldn’t believe the helicopters carrying those boulders in. Hope you’re safe and no flooding to deal with. Feel better soon, okay? Love, Sue

    • Janet, Pray you are doing well. Thanks for your kind words about this blog. Oh yes, those were the days. SOme day I’ll write one about being a house supervisor and a DON. Do take care…Love, Sue

  2. Well that was so true of how I see ER when I go there. Life In all its forms.with people just waiting together . It’s a place where everyone is sad ,tragic,hopeful, dismayed sometimes all together .
    There’s no pretending to be what your not.life is at its rawest .
    It bought all my feelings back as I have been there a lot accompaning family. That sense of safety too that comes with arriving there
    Yep you gotta have humour in buckets and Sue you certainly do .and pass that on to us . I think that helps to pull me anyway out of episodes of sh.t
    Chris

    • Chris dear, I guess we all have those episodes and I always like to use humor. Some days it is easier than other days. I know you are enjoying your home and the new deck. Thanks for sharing your life with all of us, most of us so far away here in the states. You often help me to remember the universal truths we share as people and not as a nation. Hope B/P for DH is settling down. Love, Sue

  3. Sue, you have indeed captured the ER. I wrote a very poetic response, but realized it could come across as quite morose rather than poetic. Not my intention, so away it goes. Nicely done.

    • Lyn, as a former teacher, I assume you understand the importance of re-writing and letting a piece of work rest before publishing.I’m often surprised when I read something I wrote and glad I didn’t submit without re-reading. Hope you enjoyed this inside look at an ER. Love, and hope your weather is still springlike. Sue

    • Hi Marlene, No Valentine tree this year. Didn’t even put up our big tree this year. Have a small one, well actually sever small ones. Thanks for asking. Sue

  4. For anyone who has ever sat in the ER, or lain in one, this is so apt. I never had to work in one, only draw blood or retrieve specimens when I was working, but it is usually chaos, especially in a city of any size. I can remember in Az, it was always always crazy !
    Sue, you should writ some about your crazier days of Nurse in charge. I am sure you have some tales to tell ! Ms Alice’ daughter was an ER nurse in NY city. She tells me all sorts of things. Lots of stuff to laugh and some to say….huh ?
    But regardless the reason for being there, usually there is someone else you see that brings out the empathy, sympathy, and hopefully some prayers.
    Love ya
    Tonie

    • Tonie, the good thing about dealing in fact as opposed to fiction is that it usually rings true and touches the heart…don’t you think? I also find the old expression about it being stranger than fiction is usually true except in extreme writing like science fiction, etc. I did keep notes when I was in management just to cover my infamous tush.
      I the case I mentioned of the father who was drunk and caused his child so much trauma to the brain, I did find it hard to put up with him when he whined about the IV we had to put in him, knowing the shape his daughter was in. He never asked about her and was still drunk and just whining about himself when he had no serious injury. I often found drunk drivers could bounce around in a wreck better than the sober drivers. Strange. Once in a smaller hospital ER where they only had three beds, we had the prison guards bring in three inmates to fill all three gurneys and all three of them were in for murder. Life is interesting. Thanks again for your help in posting.
      Hope you’re feeling well for the coming week for your dear friend and your sister Judy’s surgery. Tell her I’ll be praying for her new knee to be perfect. Love ya, Sue

      • Sue
        Judy jus told phoned me to tell me the surgery is postponed. The anesthesiologist wants and echo done first. So…Wednesday she does that and then probably next Tuesday she will have it done, we will see. Looks like they could have found out sooner huh ? Still watching Midsomer Murders. The last few episodes have been a who’s who from Call The Midwife, Downton Abbey, and another one I watched about a post office, can’t remember the name. Then this one this morning. I thought I saw Hailey Mills, and it is. She has aged, not very well, but still pretty little Hailey. I always loved her movies.
        Well, a little more coffee and the off to swim. Hope you are feeling better today.
        Love
        Tonie

  5. Ah yes, the ER. 40% boredom interspersed with 60% panic. Definitely an education in life that I never asked for! Learned about the darker side of human nature but also the courageous, good and compassionate side. Seems that emergencies magnify the underlying disposition of people. The light shines brighter in those who are filled with light. True colors show up, whether good or bad. And the stories I could tell…some funny, some poignant, some maddening. But all these experiences have enriched me and made me not only a better nurse but a better person I think. I understand more about human nature, suffering, and triumph.

    • Annie, words of wisdom from a nurse friend who knows. Awe yes, human nature in all its worse. I think nurses either learn from what life brings along or they get cold and bitter. If that happens, it is time to find another profession. Hope you’re doing well with your back. Think of you often. Love, Sue

  6. Hey all
    Busy day. I decided to try and bake some banquettes for my FM. He so loves them. I found a recipe from France online, made them up tonight, but only baked one small one. Yum, very crunchy but soft inside. Not chewy like the ones in the store. I have never eaten one I. France, but maybe he will like them. I have two in the fridge to bake when he gets here. For these you set the oven as high as it will go, and put a pan of ice water in the bottom of the oven. I only had a bit except, I wanted more. Of course.
    Sue, hope you are feeling better
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, I think the baguettes sound wonderful. Aren’t they always soft in the middle when they are fresh and hot. I know home made French bread is that way and then get hard as a rock in a couple of days…but fresh, to die for. I’ve baked that often with pan of water in over…not icy though.
      I know Judy is probably impatient to get her surgery done but I think it’s good they are being careful with someone her age. Don’t tell her though…we oldies are sensitive about our age you know.
      Had the grands all day for the holiday. Still recovery from tests last week. Got to fill out papers for new doctor. No dinner yet and it’s 7 so will make this short. Love, Sue

  7. Chris
    I have to say that American tv could take some lessons from BBC. There are very few size zero models or studs in their shows. Ah yeah a few, always, but there are more everyday people with all their wrinkles, fat, skinny, and ordinary appearances. I really appreciate that fact

    • Tonie, I’ve noticed that, also. Not to say there are not some gorgeous folks in those films but more large roles for the excellent character actors. An older series I really enjoy and own IsThe Darling Buds of May. Another is Body and Soul as well as Cranford. Sue

      • Sue
        I will check those out. Almost finished with Midsomer Murders. I really think it is awesome how these actors, women especially, are just themselves. No signs of plastique or injections on most. Gives you a new perspective on actors. Here everyone is so obsessed with trying to look young, it borders on the ridiculous. You wonder sometimes if they really can’t see how awful they look. I have great respect for women who age naturally. And men. Now men are doing all this stuff as well. Of course Hollyweird is so discriminating to older women in roles. Everyone must conform to what they think is perfect. Skinny to emaciation, young, and according to the shows, never eat, only drink wine and look at their food. It is a horrible way for young girls and women to view what they should be doing and looking like. Hayley Mills may not have aged well, but she is still the good actress she always was, and her voice has not changed at all. You can still hear that mischievous little teenager in it. It is a wonderful outlook on life that we , here in the US, need to adapt. This country is so obsessed with looks, weight (me too obviously) and rejection of anyone who doesn’t look this way. Hence so much bullying amongst young girls in school. And boys.
        Okay, off my soapbox. Yes, that bread is yummy. Still good after sitting on the counter all night. The high temp of the oven made it really crispy outside while the inside is soft. Tomorrow I will bake the other loaves about time for him to arrive. That way he can have a snack with some cheese. Getting anxious. He said he is leaving very early in the am, so as to get here earlier, and skip the traffic jams.
        Hope you have a better day
        Love
        Tonie

  8. Oh Tonie ….well yep we don’t see so much how shall I put it beautification!,
    But some do it tho,I’m sure it will increase over here..
    Anyway…thinking of you tomorrow so very exciting and nervy too
    Bread sounds lovely..I want some
    Just been out with DD for lunch….oh dear diet not started again..

    How are you Sue?
    Chris

  9. Just back here checking in. Way too busy the last couple of days. I’m hoping I can slow down a bit today, I’m really feeling the need. Sue, I have a theory as to why those under the influence can bounce about and not get as injured. It may be in part to their relaxed state. We tend to be more badly hurt when we tense up or brace. Just a thought.

    Tonie, those baguettes sound wonderful. I am sure your FM will love them, and all the more having been made by you. I’ll be thinking of you today.

    Good to see you on here Karen and Marlene.

    • Lyn, Indeed that’s why drunks bounce better. They often fall to the floor, throw up, etc. and are very loose when inebriated. Sorry you’ve been so busy and know how hard that can be on you. Hope you get to slow pace. Love, Sue

  10. Hi all
    Yes I agree with you Lyn I was thinking that was the reason too
    Gives a storm with winds up to 65 mph all day tomorrow .so got shopping done today.it was due just hate doing it
    Hips ache from walking around the store.
    Sue how are you
    Tonie
    Don’t suppose we will hear from you today??
    Chris

    • Chris, I’m just having a bad couple of days…take methotrexate Tues. so usually rotten on Tues and Wed. I agree with you about walking around stores. Can be rough on the whole body or picks the parts that hurt.
      Indeed, that is why drunks survive better in an auto accident. They fall down and don’t even know it sometimes.
      Sorry about your winds…Love, Sue

  11. Tonie, we’re all thinking of you today and pray all goes well as your dear friend arrives. Enjoy….Bread sounded delicious. Love, Sue

  12. Sue
    Do. Hope you feel better by now.its rough to have to take something that you know is going to make you feel,rotten
    Well to tomorrow I’m going to sort out a four drawer cabinet of files been putting it off but gonna do it ..yuk household stuff and important things
    Chris

    • Chris, thanks my friend. It’s actually the opposite. I feel rotten waiting for it to kick in and make me feel good. I get four good days out of the week. I’ve been spending time going through my writings and family files, also. It will bring back so many memories for you. SHouldn’t you be sleeping right now? We may have snow flurries tomorrow and Friday. My camellias haven’t heard the news yet. How’s the deck? Love you, Sue

  13. Thank goodness for the drug then..pity then there couldn’t be an interim one
    Wel as usual I’m always awake.havent got onto files yet .putting it off,hips sore from shopping and shoulders gardening
    But cooking roast chicken and stuff for late lunch
    Decking few probs he’s coming back tomorrow ,but it’s good
    Very windy and going to get worse keeping and eye out for the pots..couple blown over and they ere heavy as well
    Chris

    • Chris, I certainly do understand about windstorms and pots. I try to keep them wet and they’re heavier…you probably already do that. Have to watch the ones on wheels though. Sounds like you are in for it…hope all goes well. Wind can be so scary. I’m sorry you have so much soreness and do understand about that. Unfortunately, it seems to be the price so many of us pay just for trying to live normal lives. Rest and heat or whatever helps. My shoulders still sore fro the CTscan.

      Just got a phone call from the oncology office and my CT Scan and Bone scan are both good. No change. The last time I had them done was Sept. 2014 so it’s very good news and a relief. Jim has gone to Portland to take Greg for his chemo treatment. Lots of fog here today but hopefully clearing. It can happen so fast this close to the coast. Do take care, Love ya, Sue

      • Sue that’s so good to hear that. 2014 that’s three years .so that is great news and must be such a relief for you and family. Life can be a little lighter
        Poor Greg and it’s such a long trip
        How is he now?
        two,pots blown over and they were very heavy..the eucalyptus twisted in the pot.then the chairs went across the garden.its died down now..but loads of power cuts in places
        Gives a sunny day tomorrow .
        Well I eventually got onto the filing…all ins policies and bank stuff.i want all the info ready for DD after my dads stuff I want it clear..but there is such a lot to sort
        Well again I’m so pleased with your news
        And thinking about Tonie
        Chris

  14. Chris, I am sorry to hear about the pots and chairs. I hope the tree survives. Those were some awfully strong winds dipping into your backyard. Hope your power stays on. I sleep so much easier since we got our whole house generator. Hope no one around you was hurt. Oh, the power of nature. There were pics online recently of trees being actually twisted by wind. Hope your eucalyptus survives.
    I do feel the same way about my kids and don’t want our affairs to be in a mess. I’ve been shredding thing, throwing away old never used recipe cards, etc. Feel so much better since we have all worked out with attorney. I know it sounds a bit morbid but none of us will live forever. I do kind of stall out when it comes to picking out coffins and planning funerals. I think being sent out to sea sounds very appealing and a lot less trouble. Do they still do Viking funerals anywhere? Later, take care of you, Sue

  15. Yes it is great news still Sue
    Well we have our plots and that’s as far as I’ll go..huh just realised what I said!!
    I’m sure if there is a market for anything they will come up with it.up in the far northern islands in Scotland they do something similar if wanted ,as they are from Norwegian stock .well they used to till about the. 1920s
    Well just torn up loads of statements and receipts from 1995!
    Chris

    • Chris, plots should be as far as you go for a LONG time. I’ll leave it there, also.
      Jim and I bought a new shredder last year and I squawked about the price but now am glad we got it. We used to have the little ones and they always burnt out. Don’t you hate all that paper stuff…sometimes I feel overwhelmed by files and old papers and then the mail arrives with a dozen catalogs and I feel sorry for all the wasted trees. So, you’re still awake? Fog lifted here. To see new local doctor on Monday and hope it goes well. I hate changing doctor but needed a new one locally. Love, Sue

  16. Bad storm here yesterday .one bus overturned some miles away and a large oak tree split and over road just a few minutes from her and about an hours drive away a young lady killed by a piece of wood in town
    Down the road a conservatory eoof was blown off……so we were licky to escape some pots blown over and a mess to clean up
    Back is bad today have to be careful it feels like a trapped nerve
    So here I am in bed resting itching to do some more .
    But shall catch up with a few things later
    Chris
    Wonder how tonies going ?

    • Oh Chris, I hate all that is going on near you. Those trees can be so dangerous and knowing someone died, how awful. Yes, it sounds like you were fortunate compared to others.
      We had a large boulder fall off the side of a hill and block traffic for a great while yesterday due to rain. It was on the busiest interstate Hwy around here so caused a lot of trouble but don’t believe it fell on anyone, Thank God.
      As I lie here on my heating pad talking to you as you lie on yours, i get it. Let’s hope it was from something that got strained and effected the nerve and will heal soon. We’ve had such a fluctuation in weather today with snow flurries interspersed with rain. I had a terrible night unable to sleep due to pain all over, think it’s the weather. Do rest and know you’re being thought of. Love, Sue

      • Oh, Sue, I am so sorry you are in so much pain right now. I do hope you can get some rest and much needed sleep. That weather can really pack a punch, outside and inside our bodies.

    • Chris, how awful. So glad you escaped harm. So sorry you are having a bad back, though. I’m sitting with my heating pad right now. I can’t seem to sit or stand for too long. Not fun playing this game, is it?

      • Lyn, so very true. SO funny all of us being the heating pads. Life…Love you and please feel better. I got ink from a leak inside a pen in my good crossbody bag so as a treat for my good news yesterday bought myself a new Fossil. I deserved a reward, don’t you think? Hope Sadie is supplying you with joy today as little George is for me. Love, Sue

  17. What weather we are all having!
    Fossil handbags nice treat for you to celebrate Sue ..I love those handbags I like a nice big one that goes across and holds all stuff I need just incase when out
    Lyn
    Nope it ain’t any fun..nobody told me it could be like this ..mind you they never said much about fun either !
    So still here on heat bag..I’m up and down still sorting out policy nos and telephone nos to put on instruction list
    Got some more plants repotted from the storm….so in a way I’ve done some bits
    Tomorow if I can move ! Out for scones and tea then back to clean out over two days. I prefer to do it on the weekend as we both prefer to go,out during the week when it’s quieter
    Gives rain tomorrow oh joy
    Chris

    • Chris dear, you have just described my typical life…on the heat, work for awhile, then back on the heat. Take care and sorry about the rain especially if you want to go out on a venture. Hoping for you…Sue

  18. Chris and Lyn and anyone else interested, I buy a lot of my clothing this time of year. Remember, I never pay full price for anything I wear. Bags were half off at Fossil. Hope you’re both feeling better and know for certain Tonie must be having a wonderful time with her FM. We have snow on the hills across the river five miles away in WA state. Cold here but snow looks so pretty over there. Rest well everyone, Love, Sue

    • Thanks for the tip! I don’t think I need another bag quite yet. I just purchased and handmade bag at my friend’s shop, the one I paint sometimes for. She carries lots of handmade items in her shop, mostly by local artisans. I really like the line of soaps and body butters. Anyway, the bags are really nice, handmade of cloth with pockets inside and some styles have really cool handmade charms as well. Mine also has a tether to attach keys, etc. I wish I could describe the style, or better yet post a picture, but alas I cannot. Anyway, I am happy with it. I also buy just about all on sale or clearance. 🙂 Overall I am feeling better, just trying to keep some tight muscles stretched out – a neverending battle as you well know. I am anticipating feeling not so great soon. We have been enjoying unseasonably higher temps lately, but tomorrow is to be back in the 40s. I am quite sure my body will not appreciate that. So, I am enjoying open windows and doors today while I can.

      • Lyn, Your friend’s bags sound like fun. We have many artisans in this area…it seems to attract the creative types. I love it when they mix the colors and textures as well as fabrics with cloth bags. Bags in this area get hard use and have to withstand the rain..There is usually a great deal of wind out here with the rain therefore you rarely see an umbrella. I love the cross body bags and started using one about a year ago because it makes walking safer with both arms free for me.
        Pleased you got some warmth your way and sorry to hear it is once again going to dip down in the chilly area. We are in the thirties at night with rain and up into the 40’s during the day.
        My eyes have been a problem lately so not responding as soon as usual I’m afraid. Just a few mins and I have to rest them. Aggravating. Later, Love ya, Sue

  19. That’s good for fossil bags ..well done
    Snow always looks good on hills and mountains. I like it to look at except when it gets all dirty
    Where I lived as a kid we used to look at it falling out of the school window wondering when we’d be sent home..it used to fall always heavy where we were and the others had to get over the mountains .it was exciting .i think I remember those times or feel them ,when it’s falling
    So back not too bad managed to do somethings as long as I didn’t twist and kept straight and resting in between
    Going to read the newspaper ..get wound up!!…and maybe sleep a little
    Chris

    • Chris, I loved this walk with you down memory lane. Funny isn’t it how those memories stick in our heads forever, deeply imprinted. No snow today just rain. SOrry I’m a bit slow in responding. Eyes acting up again. I love soft boiled eggs for breakfast and had to switch back to brown eggs just to be able to find the shells. Good thing I like them. It’s little things like that that are so frustrating.
      Watch hauling those pots with your current back problems. Hope they are better today with rest. Love, Sue

  20. Hello all
    Just a minute to pop in. Yes all is well. Been busy catching up and doing some things. It is like he was never gone. Yesterday we went down the mountain to NC , a little town called MT Airy. If you are familiar with the Andy Griffith Show, that is what he based Mayberry on. He was from there. They have revived the town with tourism. Nice clean , friendly place. We walked ( too much) and looked. I bought my son a butter knife for cChristmas. Then he took me out for my birthday to a very nice restaurant, 13 Bones. He had ribs and steak, I had salmon. Very good. Very nice day. And for my birthday present I am getting a horse !! So, I will be happily shopping soon.
    He is already planning to start enclosing the porch with windows, and then building a new porch in front of that haha. He will be here until end of March, then back until he gets the courage to chuck it all in and come to stay. His visa only got approved until October, which is unusual, usually for two years.
    Sue so glad your scans are good. Chris, we had that wind last night and yesterday. And more on Thursday to come. The temps have ,gone from 70 to 40 today. Up and down this week.
    Well, gotta go to church.
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Well good to hear from you
      I knew you’d be Busy going everywhere …the meal,sounds great.and the place where you visited too
      A horse….well you dun well!
      Glad your having a good time ,been thinking of you and FM
      At least he is here for a little while now
      Have a good time
      Chris

    • Tonie, thanks for the check in. What a birthday present! How wonderful! Your day and meal sound wonderful. We are “enjoying” the same weather up here. I much preferred the warmer temperatures.

    • Tonie, so good to hear from you. Your dinner, company and birthday present sound wonderful. A horse…I would say this man knows the direct route to your heart. Hang in there with those temps. I know what it does to you joints even though you are inspired right now to overcome all physical obstacles.
      I would guess his visa is a result on all the clamping down going on in our country right now. Do hope he makes the big leap soon. Enjoy. We’re all thinking about you. Love ya, Sue P.S. Be sure to let us know when you get your horse and all the details.

  21. Good morning
    Lazy morning here, with more action this afternoon. We will be working on the porch, well, him. Me I may drag some things out of the shed to dear it up. Still cool but no wind and lots of sun.
    Chris, glad you checked out the little town we were in. I am listening to him speak French to Air France to change his ticket to leave from Roanoke instead of Tampa. He is fussing because the mans accent is so bad. He says he is maybe in Algiers. Haha. I told him we have the same problem here !
    By the way, he loved the bread ! Said it was perfect and ate it all up in two days ! He said no more until later, because he loves bread. My health nut. But it is good to take care. Tomorrow I have a dentist apt and then he wants to drive out to another town to a knife factory.
    Yes, Sue, he surely knows the way to my heart. So sorry your eyes are still so bad. Still praying for your healing, my friend. I know sometimes it is slow in coming but keep the faith.
    Lyn, we are cold, warm, cold, warm, cold , warm ….I know you are still the same as us. FM wants to go see a real Amish community, so we may come to your area soon. I know of none nearer us who are completely old Amish. The ones here are just religious, not staying with no motorized mechanisms. There is a family lives in our community. Just from their dress and no curtains in the house you can tell. Plain folk.
    Well, must get going. I need to get in the bathroom before him or it will be an hour ! Haha !
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Yes, Tonie, I believe from what I have heard your best bet is up our way. Lancaster County, PA. There are some touristy Amish things, but also lots of real, true Amish – yes, still driving buggies, etc. We have some further north where I am as well, but many more in Lancaster County. I grew up in Lancaster County, btw 😉 Though I am not Amish lol. We have a lot of Mennonite up here as well. My grandparents’ farm had lots of Amish around, and my cousin’s house is literally surrounded by them. I grew up not realizing that most people will only ever hear of them and not see or interact with them. Naturally, I thought they were everywhere until I was old enough to “get it”.
      Enjoy your time together. You and I will weather this rollercoaster of temperatures somehow. This weekend we had a wild windy, hard rain with hail storm. It was crazy. I believe I posted a pic of my sprouting daffodils surrounded by the hail. I am excited for your porch.

    • Tonie, sounds like you are combining pleasure with getting some improvements made around your place. How nice is that? All of your plans sound interesting and I, like all the others who have not lived around the Amish, am fascinated and think about the simple way of life, simple but wonderful food and the quilts. I’ve always felt so much of a natural desire for color and form always kind of burst forth in their beautiful quilts and quilting patterns. I imagine their gardens are the same way unless they do not grow flowers but only utilitarian things like vegetables and fruit.
      You sound so good today and as always, great to share life with you. You take care of yourself, okay?
      I went to my new doctor today and am very pleased with him. He is a mid-age internal medicine guy here in town and very smart, friendly and down to earth. It was time for me to get a new doc here in town. I was thrilled that he knows so much about sacroiliitis and SJogren’s syndrome. Refreshing to see. I feel better about things now.
      Much love, Sue

  22. Sue
    Are your eyes any better lately.
    Guess what happened to me today
    I had the deck man come to smooth some edges away
    I unlocked the gate for him.and I fell asleep.he knocked at door .so he was there for about an hour sanding away and I never knew.DH was in his study and he doesn’t hear anything
    I was reading waiting for him to turn up…how embarrassing I’ve never done that before waiting for someone. But anyway the jobs done and I’m happier
    Tonie
    Good time your having.love hearing about it..a knife factory,….and the Amish….they are so interesting .there have been so many documentaries ..I love watching them
    Did your sister get to have the ultrasound
    Lyn
    Our daffodils up nice with the warm weather …then blown over with the storm as well
    How interesting to have the Amish living around you.do they sell there craft wares. over here the Scandinavian designs are popular at the moment in room design particularly..I think the simpler Amish design are similar

    My shoulder has got worse shooting pains right thru the side of it..hope I don’t lay on it tonite asleep..huh fat chance!…..
    Chris

    • Chris dear, I share shoulder trouble with you at this point. Hopefully yours and mine will clear. It can be alarming to fall asleep on it in the cold of the night and then have trouble moving it. Mine have been bad since 10 days ago when I had to stick them up for the CT scan. Do you have any numbing creme you can use before bedtime?
      I know you must have been embarrassed to fall asleep under those circumstances but it proves you are not sleeping well…maybe worse than usual. I’m sure the guy working on the deck didn’t really give it a thought. It seems so often as wood dries it has to be sanded down. Hope you’re happy with it now.
      Thanks for asking about my eyes. Yes, they hurt less than they did after I took the opioids and had the corneas burned but I seem to have lost much of the steadfastness of my vision. They tire and begin to blur so easily now. I got a couple of new books, one with large print and one on my Kindle so I can read a bit but the computer is very difficult. I have headaches when I read anything too much and too long. My new internist I went to today knows a lot about SJogren’s and that made me feel good. I think he’ll be great. It’s also good to have someone this close, here in town, as well as my new cancer doc. I just told this new guy today, “Just help me live as long as I can with all these diseases going on.” I think he was a bit shocked that I put it that way but that is the truth of it. Isn’t that why we try to find the best doctors we can?
      Snow in Portland, OR but we just have cold rain out here. Take care of the shoulder and back so they can mend. Thinking of you. Love, Sue

  23. Sue, I am so happy you have a good internist who is familiar with those less familiar of your issues. What a relief. Your statement to him was pretty much straight and to the point, and really the name of the game at this point. I hope after the shock wore off he found it refreshing. As for the Amish, they are mostly utilitarian. Friends who had a lovely little farmette not far from me – oh, it was beautiful and I felt so restful when I visited there – anyway, they sold the farm to the daughter and son in law of the Amish across from them. She asked if I had been by and I hadn’t as it is off the main road. She said they ripped out a lot of her gorgeous flower beds to make room for something (I didn’t hear what she said due to noise in the room at the time.) Not sure I want to go by. She had a HUGE vegetable garden, which I would assume they kept, but also many flower beds and gardens.
    Oh, Chris, the Amish do sell good quality furniture, not really arts and crafts, but baked goods and of course, produce. My aunt and uncle, and now my cousins, often employ Amish women/girls to work in their greenhouses – they have a plant farm and used to have an orchard.

  24. He all
    Long day, I am resting. Silly FM is out in the rain burning brush. We went to get my tooth done, better, but the needle holes hurt as does my jaw from holding it open. Then to the town with the knives. They were wholesalers only, but we looked around and got a catalog to order thru a dealer. Then down in the town to look around. The town is named for a Francis Marion, who was from there, a revolutionary war hero. There was a Disney movie about him years ago. He had a band of men and they hid out in the swamps down in the Carolinas. Anyway, lunch as it was with a numb jaw. Coffee and huspuppies, some ice cream. Went walking around our shops closer to home. So now I will rest . All the while, he asks me if I am ok, tired, hurting, etc. Very sensitive to my needs.
    Tomorrow we go to swim and check the houses. Probably look around some more. The man loves to browse.
    Sue, so happy you like your internist. Chris, yes, my sister had the scan and all is well. Has her surgery rescheduled for the 14 th of this month. Lyn, it is very interesting how we take it for granted our surroundings, and people. There is one Amish bakery and deli here, but I find their prices very high. Especially when I can make my own breads and such. But for people who don’t, it is convenient for them. There is another group who own and operate a store that sells things bought at close out sales. I like going there.
    Well, I think a cup of tea sounds good.
    Love to all
    Tonie

  25. Hope your soreness from the dentist has gone by now Tonie
    The town of Marion looks it has some interesting shops.i googled it and there are two big tanks with hot and cold on the other..do you know what they are? Lovely views of the mountains from there . Apparently he was the originator of guerrilla warfare and the film the patriot was partly about him
    It must be good to have FM walk by your side and be so solicitous
    Lyn
    I suppose all that altering of the gardens fits in with how they view life
    Dressing things up…..well they don’t do it
    How’s SB And DD..
    Sue
    My eyes get tired it’s hard to describe but that word fits.and headaches with them
    That certainly is good the dr knows about sjogrens what a surprise
    Well gonna great the wheat gag up for my shoulder and all other points and joints
    Chris

    • Don’t you love it, Chris? Silly devices. SB is all right. He is home now, working here, although he goes back to the apartment on some days off to visit his roommate and bring more clothing and such home. He not taking classes this semester due to his migraines. He seems to be doing better on the headache front since they added the preventative med. DD is doing pretty well. She is in the beginning stages of dating a fellow. We shall see if anything comes of it. Of course, protective little brother has already met and checked him out and says he’s a good guy. I love how they look out for one another.

  26. Hi All, Woke with the flu this morning. Had to reschedule oncology IV tomorrow for next week. Be back tomorrow…Lord willing ,to chat. Love, Sue

  27. Oh no sue…..
    What a thing to happen, you just had Flu too
    I know you will look after yourself ..but do and keep warm
    Chris

  28. Oh Sue ! So sorry you are under this nasty stuff. Lord do heal her quickly I pray.
    Lyn, I bet the pressure of studying, classes and work would bring on the migraines as well. Hopefully he will get back on track soon so he can finish his school. New love huh ? At least she is taking her time. She finished school right ?
    Chris, not sure what water tanks you are referring to, I will have to look it up to see. You know when you see things so much, you don’t see them sometimes. Yes, very nice to have him here, and have someone to spoil me for a change. He sure is slow to get ready though haha ! Takes him twice as much time as it does me.
    Lyn, today 71 with thunderstorms and tomorrow 41 ! Unreal. No wonder people are getting sick. But.. today is the first of March, so I think the thunderstorms says it is coming in like a Lion, going out like a lamb. I hope anyway. They were calling for snow on Friday but has changed now. The winds are what gets me, and the changes everyday really hit me hard. Be glad when it is on an even keel.
    Again prayers for you Sue.
    Love to all
    Tonie

    • Tonie, know you are having a great time together and so happy for you and pleased to hear your FM is so considerate of you. What rotten weather and I know how hard it can be on you. Hang in there and looks like all the more reason to stay inside and spoon. I know, it’s an old word but still paints quite a picture.
      I got four new requests for new FB friends so far this week from folks who read the blog…oh, yes, and another one from a single guy looking for love. Gees. Only accepted the first four. So good to know folks out there like what we are sharing and blessed my words and experiences are finding new readers all the time.
      How’s the construction on the porch going? Thinking of you often…pleased beyond measure to see you so happy. Love, Sue

  29. Oh no, Sue! Praying for a quick recovery. Hopefully, you were able to get some Tamiflu or something onboard.
    Same here, Tonie. Not quite up to 70, but in the 60’s and stormy. Severe thunderstorm warning this afternoon until 5 pm, I think 40s tomorrow for us, too. They are keeping snow showers as a possibility for Friday at this point. Crazy. Yes, DD is finished with schooling. Well, she was studying Health Care Management for a while but decided to put it on hold. She wasn’t sure it would really get her any further along. So, we’ll see. I don’t see much of her now since she met this new fellow. Hold on for the next few days’ changes!

    • Lyn, no dear, I don’t really want to take Tamiflu. I worry about such drugs that mess with the immune system. I take my homeopathic flu meds as well as echineacea with Vitamin C and plenty of fluids. It’s mostly a sore throat and the grands have the same thing right now. I don’t really feel that badly.
      Always good to keep up on what’s new with your kids. So many years have passed for us hearing about them. I am sorry about SB and the headaches. Knowing you I am sure he’s getting the best medical advice possible. Sometimes we just have to trust life and wait. He sounds like he has matured a great deal. Unfortunately, adversity can do that. Wish all of life was a happy day but as we all know…alas. Interesting to see how DD’s relationship grows or not. I have two grandsons who are in love and it’s a wonderfully warm feeling to see it happen.
      I am disappointed for you and Tonie to see what your weather is going to do…to you both. I know weather isn’t personal but it sure can feel like it sometimes. You know what to do but I’m sorry you have to. Love ya, Sue

  30. Tonie
    I’ve emailed you them ..I think they are water storage ,just strange to see a hot one.i presume they are In marion as they came up in the images on Google
    You had a rotater op I think….my DD has got that and the physio has made it worse. Did you have steroid injections . I can’t remember how long you were in for the op .or how long recovery was .but she is off work in pain tried to go back and sitting at her desk on the comp. has made it worse…….any tips? She mite have to have the op.she is in some pain

    Well deck man has to come out again ..some boards are loose .about three….but its such a pain. The tv also keeps losing its stations
    And my chairs to table have been delayed another week…I know it’s all not serious but it’s such a pain .AND this blimmin predictive txt Keeps rewriting my posts …umph
    Sue
    Hope you ok and resting
    Lyn
    It must be good to see brother and sister like that …and know that will always be
    Chris

    • Chris, just read your note about DD. I also have bad shoulders and they were made worse by PT for me, also. Injections of steroid shave really helped. Replacement shoulders are still a difficult surgery. I use a very light weight to keep the muscles around the joints strong but they must be light so as not to do damage. See you tomorrow…sorry for all the problems, yuck. Love, Sue

      • Chris, steroid shave? Guess I was in a bit of a state of virus. Of course I meant shots and they last many months for me. As far as surgery, the one I was referring to was the shoulder replacement surgery but just to go in and clean out the joint is something much simpler. Hope they are feeling better today. I am feeling better, to my relief.
        Waiting for a plumber to put in a new faucet in the upstairs bath. Of course, he is not on time. Raining here…no surprise there. Love, Sue

    • Yes Chris. They will give injections first and if they don’t help then surgery. It is not very bad, ice and heat for now and maybe keep it in a sling to keep the presssure off.

  31. Morning all
    Sue the porch comes nicely. Picking up plexiglass for windows today, and some paint to put on until we put up the permanent enclosure. The man is good with carpentry. He worked all day yesterday putting it up, calling me to help every so often. Me, I was in out of the wind. Cleaned house, laundry, washed the dogs, trimmed their nails and gave Brutie a shave. We have the volunteer kids coming next week , one high school and one group college from Boston. I hope we get the college kids. They can help us get all the brush and tree limbs cleaned up and burnt, maybe clean up the pasture, and till the garden. FM wants to “make a BBQ ” for them. It will be fun.
    He wants to enclose the house with rustic timber, like a cabin, then have another open porch. This one when we finish will extend the living room another ten feet. Happy days.
    Well, off to swim shortly, then another shopping trip to Walmart. It is cold here and blowing snow. Brrrr. FM is happy, he wanted to see snow in Va ! Sue, hope you are feeling better today. Chris, you are like me, I want it now with no delays ! Haha !
    Have a wonderful day all
    Tonie

  32. Sue
    How are you today ?
    Plumber do the thing with the faucet?
    The TV man came today and seems he fixed the TV.time will tell if it looses the program again.but he said the humax box which records stuff needed altering as that then goes into the tv….so I think we are laughing there
    But the smell was back in bathroom three weeks ok then there she is again……so I’m gonna get onto the water authority and get them to check the public drains….as it’s always a weekend…could be when it’s busy and backing up..dunno.
    Lovely here today….57f and sunny
    Got some cushions to go in conservatory today . And went out for tea and scones
    I can feel a bit of happy coming back….
    But DD is in some pain today with shoulder went into work on computer and off it went again .
    Back later
    Chris

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