School Is Never Out, In A Life With Chronic Pain

 

Learning, learning, all the time learning. Grammar school, middle school, high school, colleges, for me more than one; was not the end of learning. Life, God, the Force, somebody out there, I would like to issue a formal complaint. Where is your complaint department? I’ve searched the internet and came up empty. Thank you, dear Lord, for the privilege of prayer. My list of not-so-polite queries is growing longer and longer. Unfortunately, I’m still hanging on by my bare, painful, arthritic knuckles while I wait for an answer. I’m beginning to suspect the “proof is in the pudding,” which means I have to get the answers in bits as life drags me along with it.

I am able to air my grievances to others, usually my poor spouse, to friends and to online friends who probably understand the most just because many of them share my complaints. I do believe it’s important to air, complain and share my life experiences with others; thus, I write a blog and have for 12 years. Before that, I wrote in other venues, some of a serious nature, others in the comedic style. Airing your frustrations, experiences and blessings is an important part of life. Sharing, caring and airing…all are cathartic. During the endlessly long 34 years I have lived with chronic pain, my list of lessons learned, and still learning has grown. It’s too long to share, but for the today I thought I would choose 9 of the highlights of those life lessons chronic pain and illness has taught me.

1. ALL PLANS YOU LAY OUT FOR YOUR LIFE SHOULD BE WRITTEN IN PENCIL OR INVISIBLE INK. Life never goes the way you think it’s going to. This applies to every area of your life whether it be family, work, health or pleasure. Every captain of a ship needs to chart a destination and course, this is true, but he must also be capable and wary of storms and further obstacles that may appear in the seas ahead. He can’t just stand on deck yelling, “Hey, this isn’t what I had planned.” If he does, then down he goes, glug, glug, glug!

2. IF YOU DON’T LEARN TO “GO WITH THE FLOW”, BEND, LIFE CAN BREAK YOU INTO A MILLION PATHETIC LITTLE TINY PIECES. Awe come on, aren’t you and I enough of a wreck without that? Living with chronic pain and illness is not only a difficult life, but often an impossible one. We often have to look for ways and people to help us accomplish the impossible. These answers come in many and often surprising packages; i.e. doctors, strangers, medical personnel, friends, and pets. You will find it amazing how often answers can be found when you learn where to look, how to expect them through prayer, with faith and never, never giving up. I love a little publication by Guideposts called MYSTERIOUS WAYS. I recommend it with great enthusiasm because it is full of wonderful, mysterious and joy-filled ways God can work in our lives. It’s a small magazine and very inexpensive to order and be inspired by for its size.

 

3. LOVE LIFE. So much of the world is full of beauty. Right now, I am very inspired by the small things that grow in the earth, whether it be in a pot or a yard, as they return in a rhythmic fashion after a long winter. A tiny flower, such as a primrose hides beneath brown leaves all winter, prevailing against cold, rain and wind only to come alive again with the first warmth of spring’s sun. They know the secret to renewal. How do they know? Is it God, is it Mother Nature or is it built into their very creation, their DNA, to survive. They not only survive, but that particular flower, blooms endlessly, popping up beneath the dying flowers and leaves with tiny new buds, day after day. Here in Oregon we have plentiful and beautiful rhododendrons, which look like they’re in mourning all winter long. Their leaves bend downward toward the ground, looking pathetic. In early spring their buds begin to form and the “thinking” or mapping they were doing all winter, eventually bursts forth in huge plate sized flowers of spectacular colors.

4. ALL DOCTORS ARE NOT CREATED, EDUCATED OR PERSONALITY BLESSED THE SAME. True, they can have diplomas filling up their walls, documentation and awards but they are not necessarily the best ones for you. Some doctors put up a huge wall between themselves and their patients. I once went to a rheumatologist in LA who wouldn’t speak to a patient, even to say hello, in the hallway but put on a charming mask once in the exam room. Unfortunately, he was well-versed in the ways of rheumatology, darn it. I prefer a human doctor who backs away if he/she is hurting me, winces at my pain and looks concerned when I have a problem. A profoundly human one will even refer you to another doctor if he/she doesn’t have the answers you need. If you question a doctor’s decision, and he doesn’t like it, remember this is your body and your life. I had to leave a cardiologist last year for arguing with me because I didn’t want to take a drug that led me to have a GI bleed and he was finished in my opinion when he said, very dramatically, “I am the doctor!” I answered, “Well, I am the patient, it’s my body, and I’m an RN and have an opinion about this.” Run, don’t walk or if like me you can’t run, limp away, wheel away just get away from him/her. If you have an insurance problem or a company that sticks you with a stinker, call them and explain the situation and ask for an alternative.

5. SOME MEDICAL PERSONNEL, INCLUDING PHYSICIANS ARE TRULY BLESSED, HIGHLY TALENTED AND LOVE THEIR PROFESSION. Try to seek these out by asking others or just by trial and error. Educate yourself about your own condition so you won’t let these stinkers disrupt your already disrupted life. Don’t go through any procedure without asking why it’s to be done, how it will affect you and how much it will hurt, if any. Both, as a patient and a nurse, I have seen and experienced each of these with regret and learned to ask these questions. Don’t be afraid to be human with a decent doctor. This doesn’t mean he’s your psychologist, it simply means he will treat you better if he or she understands who you are and where you’re coming from.

6. LEARN FROM OTHERS WITH YOUR SAME CONDITION BUT REMEMBER EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. Just because a friend takes one medication, doesn’t mean it’s right for you. For example, it might cause you to break out in hives, or have some other reaction. With advent of the internet, there is much knowledge available and we can be an informed public more than ever. Just remember some of those websites are trying to sell you something and need to always be approached cautiously. I’m all for “making a buck” but not based on a lie.

7. ALWAYS TAKE LIFE ONE STEP, ONE MOMENT, ONE DAY AT A TIME. We are each given 24 hours each day. Ask yourself how you want to live that day. Remember life is about choice. That doesn’t mean we ask to be sick or to be injured but the choice comes in in how we react to what happens to us. Do you want to be a pain in the ass that day? Just be prepared for the consequences from those around you and the total lack of reward you will glean from the day. It is certainly your privilege to be a PIA but be prepared. I think the 24 hours moves more slowly on those days though, don’t you? If you waken and are in pain as many of us are, do what you have to do to minimalize that pain, then decide if you can do something to bring you joy. It might be a new book, planting a new violet (I’m really fond of African violets all over my house) or just spending the day with your spouse or a dear friend. If you have a talent, use it. Oh, the rewards we gain are wonderful in spite of our pain.

8. BE USEFUL. Many of us lost our jobs due to disability. This doesn’t mean we can’t be useful. I always try to find at least one thing to do that leaves me with a feeling of accomplishment. Yesterday, I pulled a few weeds and since we had rain that morning they came out easily. I felt useful. Some days it’s as simple as pushing the button on my Roomba vacuum and other days it’s a shopping trip that I know I will later regret. I know that sounds odd, but most of you know what I mean. You and I know what it is to do too much. That shopping trip brought in fresh produce and great meal ideas but, and that’s the big but, spelled with one “T,” not two, there is often a price of pain to pay after such a trip. Everyone living needs to feel useful and accomplished to grow and to learn.

9. TRY TO BE SMARTER TODAY THAN YOU WERE YESTERDAY. Only an idiot or one who is mentally ill will continue to make the same mistakes. I know, I know, we all do from time to time out of stupidity or stubbornness because we want our old lives back but try as we will, it doesn’t happen. Each day we have to learn, adjust and retain what we have learned. Each day we are a different person and the past is gone with only today and tomorrow to plan for, think about and look forward to with courage.

 

 

41 thoughts on “School Is Never Out, In A Life With Chronic Pain

  1. Sue
    What thought provoking words
    I will have a look on line for that booklet
    You do always succeed In seeing the joy sue it’s a ability I wish I could possess .anger is my fall back.but I think that in itself gives resilience
    Yes doing things even to get the payback at least something is done and dusted
    And each day a different person..yep it all depends what life throws our way in the morning..
    Chris

    • Chris, always good to hear about and from you. Hope the workmen came out and fixed the sink the other problem which I admit I have forgotten. I think anger can be motivating but it can also be hard on the body…blood pressure, pulse, etc. You don’t talk about your own that much but I know the old battle of the gut and the eyes rages on. I pray the cramping isn’t so bad you’re stuck on white food at this time. Been so lovely here weather wise. Bits of rain with cool wind and sunshine. My porch is abloom right now. New herb garden in window is also thriving. Love you much, Sue

  2. Can so understand all of this especially the knowing that overdoing things can be so tempting yet so costly. Although Im a lot better than I was Im still up and down and battling with a mind that wants to do more than the body below it is capable of. Im having a bad week this week and I know its because I forgot to pace myself. Always enjoy your posts.

    • Alison/rose tint, indeed pacing is always impossible for most of us to do to and for ourselves. I try to set a time limit, you know, like 20 min. of watering plants and deadheading them, then rest, etc. It’s sort of a personally wise reward and also makes life doable. For instance this morning I was trimming back an old lavender bush I think will have to go to flower heaven and bent too much. Now i’m on the heating pad and feel much better. I think we all have to learn from our discomfort and pain. Sometimes I don’t think I’m too bright and have these little talks with myself!! Please rest now and maybe do something that gives you pleasure, maybe a new book or a good movie? Love, Sue

  3. Sue dear,

    “Each day we are a different person…” Never thought of it that way; if that is so, then we also are given many chances for change, if that is what we need. I always felt we were stuck with either an optimistic or pessimistic personality but now I realize we can do an about face because we do have options. Therefore, despite having had a terrible two weeks, I choose to do a complete turnabout…let’s see if optimism works for me.

    Regarding the humane or inhumane treatment by some doctors, I have had both types and, of course, that was the last I ever saw of physicians who were more interested in getting in an out of the exam room than being certain the patient understood and was satisfied. Guess that’s why the following quotation arose: Doctors cure but nurses care.

    Hope your pain subsides substantially before you get new growth on your African Violets.

    Love you, girl,
    Phyl

    • Dear Phyl, I am sorry to hear you’ve had a crappy couple of weeks but i kinda, already knew it. You have been so quiet on FB I was concerned.
      Thank you for your wishes but truthfully, my pain will only get worse I’m afraid. I am old, I have two rheumatoid diseases plus met. breast cancer so the path is clear but my goal is to delay, delay, delay. I have already been on a cancer drug they told me would only work for two years and I’ve been on it for four years, with labs unchanging. I think what is really going to get me in the end is the Sjogren’s syndrome. Such a crappy disease. I need several joints replaced but I am so compromised, I am not certain that’s such a good idea.
      You once said you are pretty much confined to home and I am also but have been trying to get out more lately, cane and DH in hand. We went to a great produce place at a Sat market out by the Columbia across the river on the WA side. Just getting out and taking the ride was stimulating. The bar has been lowered for pleasure and distractions. The old days are just memories, both good and bad. Isn’t that true for all of us?
      One of the problems that is most difficult for me is the change in my appearance. I was never beautiful, as you were, but I was pretty. Now I am a one boobed, bent, shorter by three inches, wrinkled, thin haired, will dye it to the end, old broad. Now, I have to learn to live with that. I feel the same inside, but that nasty bitch in the mirror says otherwise.
      Hang in there my dear and look for the pleasure, the joy and a few blooms of your own. Love you much, Sue

  4. Alison, I’ve been re-reading all of Rosamunde Pilcher’s books on my Kindle. Forgot how much I love her writing. Love, Sue

  5. Dear Sue
    Although I posted this for you, I was too exhausted to read it. Then Monday I did what you are speaking about…overdoing it. ANd was so tired I didn’t read it. Having my grandson with me and had to fix supper for him. THen today we all went to swim and to Taco Bell afterwards and then home. So not so bad. I rested some and felt better afterwards. The trip was exhausting in itself but so worth it.
    I fired all my stupid docs, and so far , have nice ones all around. Especially my Rheumy. I agree, each day we are different. I push and push knowing one day I will no longer be able to do the things I love to do. I hurt while I do it, and pay afterwards, but I don’t know how to stop.
    I do hope you are enjoying all your plants. I have them everywhere, and popping up and not remembering what I planted, so the blooms will be a nice surprise. I had a nice salad out of my garden tonight. And I really have to work in it tomorrow. I have two green tomatoes on two of my plants, and others full of blooms. I love this time of year. I picked a small handful of black raspberries and ate each sunshine tasting sweetness.
    My grandson was so proud of himself, as were we all. His smiling face kept looking up at us from his seat. Next they will see if he can work, or if they can find some classes for him to take at the college. He was absolutely thrilled at that. 5 of his teachers showed up for his party and I so enjoyed speaking with them all. They all love Nathan, and he just hugged them all. Saying “I hug all the women” How far kids like him can go these days. It is so wonderful.
    Well, I pray you are feeling better. And myself, I will get ready for the arms of Morpheus.
    Love ya
    Tonie

  6. Tonie dear, just lost a long comment to you. Saw two doctors this week…enough. I know you’re enjoying having Sammy there but also know you are overdoing. Sure hope you’re getting in some rest, as much as you can since you’ll have him until the weekend. This darn pain sure can take the pleasure out of life sometimes.

    What’s your weather doing? We had rain some last night, more tonight then a bright and sunny weekend ahead. I’m a bit behind in answering. Had to go into Portland yesterday to see rheumy. I think I need a new one. So far to go for so little reward. SHe’s always talking politics, so much I finally had to tell her I was on the other side of the issue she was torn up about. Don’t think our relationship will be the same now. Been going to her for seven years and the only thing she ever changed was a slight increase in my methotrexate because I had a GI bleed and stopped the NSAID’s after 25 years of them. I asked her to increase the injections of methotrexate but she won’t. Such a long trip and then J and I lost each other. It was my fault. Got confused on which parking garage we went in…so frustrating. She want me to go on the med Pilocarpine but I don’t want to. Too many complications. RHeumies have been trying to put me on that for years due to dryness from Sjogren’s. Internist said no. I’m with him. Told Walgreen’s to ignore her order.
    Do you remember those seeds? 4 o’clocks you sent me last year? I am finding a few I put in with some geraniums last year so the deer didn’t get all of them. I plan to repot them asap. Because of the dear deer, I will have to plant them on the porch.

    I love this time of year except for the blasted sun and my reaction. Nursing along three fever blisters right now…so painful. Taking lysine capsules and using Lysine ointment. Finally got a UA from my oncologist doctor sub and I have bacteria, still there. I talked to my internist today but he doesn’t think it’s enough to treat so we will wait until I get a fever, etc. I don’t like this. Be glad when my oncologist gets back from vacation.
    Do all of you think life will ever get simple????? I think not. Hate all doctors today. Had enough of them for awhile. Love you much, Sue

    • Sue dear
      I so feel for you and these obnoxious docs you see. Yes, I think you should find a new rheumy. You want to borrow mine ? Weather here is hot and for the most , dry. I tried to work the garden yesterday, hoeing and weeding. The ground was like a rock because of all the hard rains. So I put the sprinkler on it to soak it and the plants good. Then it rained !! haha ! God’s way of laughing at me. Sammy went home yesterday. Sean came and stayed a few hours with e, had the little ones with him. THey want to come back next month maybe for a few days.
      Yes, I remember the 4 o’clocks. I have them coming up in the yard and in my flower beds. I need to plant some near the church entrance. I put some in the flower beds there as well.
      No, I think life just becomes more difficult for those of us who have these awful diseases. Pain and debilitation are two things that we tackle daily. You rest up and take care of you. Been hearing from B, just a waiting game now until the government releases another card for him. Time ticks by quickly, yet slowly. Make any sense ? Still no foal. We are thinking it is time to consult a vet, see what is going on with her. But I want it done without an internal exam, so not sure if she will do that. Have to ask and see what she suggests.
      Well, time to get going and go clean Frans house. Then some shopping. ugh ! hate it.
      Take care of you my friend.
      Love ya
      Tonie

      • Tonie, I know you’re getting concerned about the foal. Hope you get one who is healthy or an answer very soon. Praying all is well with her. Good to hear from B and I know you want those wheels to grind much faster for that info he needs and that card to come home. How long has it been now since he left? Seems forever, especially to both of you.

        Wow, it is hard to understand the soil you deal with. I’m assuming it is clay based? It’s so rare out here to have earth that is not moist. Bright, sunny weekend for us. Time to drag out the sunscreen. The sub oncologist I saw last week recommended one because he has serious skin cancer and is bald. He recommended Biore. I have used Neutrogena for years after trying many when all my sensitivities started. We have a new Walmart that opened this week so I need to check it out if up to it and buy some of that brand and also replace my sun awning on the passenger side window. I had a nice little one that attached with suction cups and need a new one. I will replant the plants when I figure out where to put them where the deer won’t eat them. Found out last year how much they like to eat them.

        So good you got to see your son for a bit and the kids. I am still going down the sentimental trail by going through hundreds of old pictures. I am making some copies for the newlyweds in our family. I know we all care more about these things as we get older so someday, if not now, they will be glad to have them. As I age I am parting with more things so I can choose where they go and not leave a huge burden for my son and daughter one day…not soon, I hope. So many memories in those pics. I know how frustrating it has been for me with pics from Mom and my MIL that aren’t labeled and trying to figure out who they are. Jim’s Mom gave me so many adorable portrait studio pics of him with his little curly head. He was an adorable little boy and his grandma was a master seamstress and made all his little suits, etc.

        Sure hope you are getting in some rest in between digging that hard ground. Much love, Sue

  7. Sue
    I certainly wish he would get back to treat the bacteria you dont want all that again
    So you have to find another rheumy….she sounds a waste of time
    Week by week this ibs / diver improves but still on toast and rice ,milk drinks.difficult with jams and yogurts they all put sweeteners in them.it upsets the ibs..which in turn goes onto diver…also can’t have bits in the yogurt ..vanilla is good but some put the seeds In,,
    It’s a struggle shopping
    Taking the antispasmodic and half a 10 mg amytriptiline now and then…makes me too dry
    Did you get the lamp put in your garden
    We are having a big tree cut down in size in ours tomorrow and some bushes trimmed..hope not much mess
    The leak got fixed under the sink ok
    We got to the coast for a day out a few days ago haven’t been for a while so it was great to see it with fresh eyes
    Tonie
    It sounds like Nathan has that special magic
    Do wish life would settle for you
    Rose tint
    It sounds like you certainly have to slow down like the rest of us…..but we don’t
    Chris

    • Chris, Oh dear. That diverticulitis is so inflamed in you. I am so sorry and since I have fought that in the past, I understand the search for food. I often reach back to the homemade chicken and noodles and if I feel I can’t eat the chicken breast, the pup gets it. I love homemade noodles and also add carrots, chopped fine, cooked until they are soft. Can you handle the instant Chinese noodles or is there too many preservatives in there. There’s always mashed potatoes and so good if you add a cooked root vegie to them. Drink broth just to keep your strength up if you run out of ideas. Can you eat eggs?
      So glad you got to the coast. There is just something about the sea that is so relaxing, I know. Well, George is bugging me for his dinner.
      Yes, I will follow through about the UTI infection with the oncologist. Love, Sue

  8. Chris, P.S. Our standing lamp will go in week after next. The guy has to build a cement base to hold it. It is an expensive installation. The lamp is pretty with two lamps on it, all in black and glass. It will look pretty plus be some much needed light for the stairway. Sue

  9. Sue
    Hey darlin’. Yes, our soil is vey much clay based. Even though I load the garden with manure over the winter to help it, as well as ashes from Judys wood stove, for the potash. It grows good things though. I have little tomatoes on the vines, can’t wait for them to ripen.
    B. has been gone just at 5 months. And yes, it feels like forever, and yet when he comes home, it will seem as if he never left. Strange that. He has sent his paperwork/ back in now for almost two weeks, so it is just a waiting game for the reissue of the card.
    Had a busy day after the swim. Got a load of sawdust , which I had to handload myself. But I have a shortbed truck, so not really that much. Now restig before I go out to feed the horses. Then another shower. I am full of sawdust !!!
    Hope your plants are doing well. B’s lemon tree is loving it outside, and getting full of leaves again. Hopefully we will have lemons next year. We will see.
    So take care and stay out of the sun !
    Love ya

    • Tonie, I can’t think of many things more flyaway and messy than sawdust…It somehow reminded me of one of the stories in MRS. PIGGLE WIGGLE. Are you familiar with those stories? Well, the one that came to mind is one when a little girl won’t take a bath, so her mother tires of nagging her and lets her get so dirty it comes to a point they plant radish seeds on her and she grows radishes on her hands and arms. I don’t mean to imply you were dirty but sawdust sure can be a mess. I know how much you enjoy this time of year, as do I inspite of my problems with the sun. These darn sores are drying up on my face. They are little discoids like the ones I get on my scalp if I forget to wear a hat.

      Yesterday we both overdid it at our new Walmart. We were just going to go in and out with a short list but you know how it goes; one starts looking around for this and that and of course, it’s all the way on the other side of this new, very large store. My hips were killing me, knees, ankles, toes…Love way of life, this. Sunny here yet cool wind keeps it just right. Yes, my flowers are doing well except for snails on a beautiful Martha Washington geranium…but tonight…they will die due to my snail bait and one pretty miniature red maple that’s a bit root bound in it’s large pot so I will go out there when the sun subsides a bit and aerate it with a large screwdriver then fertilize. Sure hate to lose it as it shades part of the deck out front and is so beautiful.

      Did you talk to a vet yet about Sweetie? Hope all is well and also know how wonderful B’s homecoming will be. Soon, dear Lord, soon, please.

      Well, on to stripping the bed now that I can move better and put some back ribs into the oven. I will boil them for about five mins. first like my Mom used to and they are so much less greasy and more tender coming out of the oven. Don’t overdo, okay? Love, Sue

  10. Sue
    Yea can eat eggs mostly scrambled and on white toast..have started mash pots and gravy
    Tinned rice puddling it’s softer
    I read that tinned carrots are ok as they are soft ,but darent start those just yet
    On clear soup no bits.used to eat chicken but not just yet
    I seem to be ok on soft food still got pain in right side but I had that before for a long time before it went
    Tree man came ..all done a bit shorter than we would have liked for privacy ,but it will grow … they love to use the electric saws and they make such a mess everywhere..it took a long time to clear up.he did something himself with a blower…but that’s just blew dust everywhere and still had to clear up..but he did take a whole trailer full away
    So both aching last night ,but it nice to have it all tidy and so much lighter in that part of the garden
    Yes that lamp will look lovely and all glistening when it’s raining
    Yes Tonie how did the vet go……
    Xx

  11. Sue
    Yes, I remember that story. And it was about how dirty I was after. I had to climb inside this wagon he has that he blows the sawdust into. So can’t stand up. Of course there was lots of sweat involved. So that night I had wood adhered to the back of my neck from sweat and sawdust mixing. Had to coax it out of my hair. I was filthy !
    I am the queen of overdoing, you know that. Yesterday, not so bad. Up early to go get horse feed. Cesar and I shared a sausage and egg biscuit. Then home to work the garden. Weeded, and planted some more things. Everything is looking good so far. Picking black raspberries now as well, yum.
    Walmart is so full of things to get you sidetracked. They have motorized carts as well, if you want to zoom around the store ! Lol. I can just see you.
    I haven’t called the vet yet, still determined she is healthy and no sign of trauma. But….. Every morning I look to see a baby, but alas, none. Have to speak with my horse expert (B) and see what he thinks. Right now he is caught up in the World Cup.
    Happy Birthday to our dear Janet ! I hope today is a wonderful day for you.
    And Happy Fathers Day to all the Dads out there. Even the ones long gone, like mine.
    Love ya
    Tonie

    • Thanks Tonie .. Made it another year, 88 now. On my way to the Y with my son. I use the machines my physical therapist suggested.

      I read the blog everyday, but with my neuropathy and tremors writing is just a pain. I send positive thoughts and prayers for all (including the furry ones).

      Love to all. Janet

    • Update on Sweetie. She is showing real advanced signs of birth soon. So just say a prayer that all will be well. No milk yet, but that can happen after.
      Thanks
      Tonie

  12. Happy belated birthday Janet
    Do hope Sweetie produces soon tonie
    Things happening from day to day as usual DD not very well and dH bp up .went to drs on more meds…ugh
    I’m eating a little more but still same food just more of it gut so so
    Hope all well
    Chris

  13. Hi All, internet out for 36 hours. Finally back. Same old song here. A bit too much sun is a problem for me even with long sleeves and hat every day. Results in sores and painful joints. Beautiful weather with sun bright and wind cool. Have to save porch flowers and deck flowers work for early evening because I don’t have much “juice” in the early morning. No surprise there.

    So disappointed after my last rheumy visit last week. Must find a new one. She never does anything to help me. All she did after we drove two hours to get there was to listen to my heart and my lungs. She never looked at any painful spot and seemed shocked I have been put on opioids by my internist. Rheumies here don’t treat pain. Well, that’s my problem, pain. After eight years with her, all she has done is to keep prescribing NSAID’s that make me bleed…I won’t take them now, Gabapentin, same dose of prednisone I’ve been on for 25 years…5 mg. and increase my methotrexate slightly. That’s it. She did order a prescription for a drug, Solange(Pilocarpine) to make me more moist but it’s side effects are legion. My internist said he would not prescribe that ever, for anybody. I don’t need it with atrial fib.
    When she started in on politics, as she does each visit since President Trump got elected, I had to being the subject back to me. She is having a fit over politics and said she can’t even sleep she’s so upset. I hate this because I like her as a person but as a doctor…waste of time. Now that she has “Trump derangement syndrome” she isn’t even concentrating on the job. Makes me so upset and sad. Typical of what is going on in our country right now.

    Tonie, anxious for news. Hope all is okay with Sweetie and you are handling the heat well. I picked and pruned a whole large trash bag full of bay leaves for my produce lady. Think she’s going to dry them and sell them in little bags. I hope she gets some money out of them and the benefit for me is not to waste them and to prune the tree. Your raspberries sound delicious.

    Chris, sorry DH still having trouble with his pressure. Your eating sounds like it’s progressing at least. Sorry you had a mess outside. I have to call about getting our large hedges pruned but dread the mess. We have to move a large fern for the coming lamp post. Seems like with our small yard, tactical planning is needed.

    Feeling lousy these days but life goes on. Love to all of you, Sue

  14. Sue
    So sorry to hear you are still feeling bad, especially from the sun. You know don’t ge me started on bad rhuemies ! Thank the Lord I have found a good one. I pray you do as well. It is bad when they can’t even do their job isn’t it ? It is insanity !
    Sweetie is still plodding on. But she is getting more and more advanced. Her baby has dropped even lower, and the muscles are getting more slack, but still no milk. So, I am just trying to be good to her. I rub her down with Sk8n so Soft from Avon, it works so good for the flies and bugs. She likes me to rub it on her ears and inside them. So….still waiting.
    Here it has been extremely hot, in the high 90’s. Yesterday we got a good rain, and supposed to get rain all week each evening, so nice if it does. All my plants are doing well. Tomatoes all over, but green. I wanted to weed eat, but so late when we got back from swimming. Had to stop and visit a man from church, he has been so sick and just found out he has Lymes Disease. He had polio as a child and still wears a brace. But worked all his life, works hard all the time. Now he is sick and can’t. And he will just start crying, breaks my heart. He is on antibiotics now,and later on prednisone. Just pray for him. B. Thinks the world of him. No news there, still waiting.
    Love ya , as always you are in our prayers.
    Tonie

  15. Sue
    My rheaumy won’t prescribe pilocarpine. ,the side effects are not good
    Yes with me it’s similar with the sun.and also I have less energy as well..never much anyway. .love it in the evening when I hose the plants.nextdoors honeysuckle is smelling so good now
    Guess what…the leak is back in the kitchen I noticed it first with the smell.then I looked in the cupboard and it had just started.its just after the u-bend so it’s not protected from the smells ..he’s coming back to fix it again
    Just that everything seems to be done twice..it’s all the clearing up etc .cant get one thing really completed it seems
    Tonie
    That Lyme disease seems to be getting more prevalent
    Ahh poor sweetie.she just must love that massaging with the cream
    Chris

    • Chris
      I feel so bad for you with these repairmen all the time. Why can’t they take the time to do it right once ? Same here a lot. Most here, if their work needs another look, you don’t get charged. Depends. Hope that way with you there as well. Judy and I fixed her sink, finally. The drip has stopped.
      Yeah, my sweet mare. She gets so hot, being black, in this sun. They stay in the barn most of the day, then graze at night. Supposed to get some relief and normal temps tomorrow and for a few days. I had to run the ac last night, it was so sticky I couldn’t get to sleep. Now I am having one more coffee and then go do my weekly yard mowing. And weed whacking.
      Heard from B this morning. His daughter sent news that it could be 3 months before he gets his renewal card. Aghhh ! I am so frustrated with all this crap. As is he, says he is coming soon , approval or no ! lol. My fibro is having a time with me of late, hurt and ache all over. But when I am moving, it is a bit better, just takes my mind off it I guess. I know I am not supposed to be so much in the sun, but I am constantly. I use sunscreen and cover my head and face. But the Native in me , I get so brown. My arms at least, why my legs don’t tan as much, I have no idea.
      The man with Lymes, he is 67 I think. He is also a cousin of mine. Very short, his nickname is Peewee, and his wife is called Tiny. They are so cute together and so much in love. My chickens eat all the bugs around , which is why I let them out to roam the yard and fields. The deer are always coming through here so it is good to keep them out to eat all those bad ticks. I think they must have been a plague of Pharaoh that got left off the list somehow.

      Take care all
      Tonie

      • Tonie, I hate this about B and pray the daughter is being honest with him. This is just too much.
        Hope you got cooled off a bit and hope poor Sweetie is okay. Watch that sun for flares with the joints…I pray not the case.
        Prayers indeed for Peewee and Tiny. They even sound adorable. What are his chances right now, do you know? I hope he’s been able to seek and get the best care possible.
        My nephew’s grandchild I told all of you about is doing beautifully. She is the newborn that got herpes simplex all over and in babe’s that can be fatal. She got home week and a half ago and will be on antibiotics for 6 months or a year. She is doing fabulously and is such a pudgie little thing and so adorable. We talked to her parents by phone last night to see if we can help them figure out a glitch they are having with doctors and the meds. Doctors. Their doctor doesn’t want to order the antibiotic and the specialist in Portland is, apparently now off the case. We’ll put old Jim Wood onto the case and they will see action. Why do doctors do such stupid things? They always say it’s liability. Baloney. We nurses get more upset than most…I think it’s called overkill. Love you much, Sue

    • Chris, I love the vines that emit odor. Honeysuckle is very prevalent in the So. states here. My climbing clematis plant has gone wild and I know I’ll have a battle with the yard guy to cut it back because the vines are all in and out of a large bush next to it but we will see. We have a very invasive morning glory vine that crept into our yard about three years ago. They even come up through the cracks between the bricks in our patio. One day, they are going to knock on our back door, I’m afraid.
      SSOOOO sorry about more problems at your house. Hope all straightened out by now. UGH. Hope your pain is tolerable in joints and gut. Love you much. Sue

  16. Oh no three months what a waste of time Tonie I have nothing positive to say as summer will be over what a blimmin shame …but it will be nice to have autumn together then Christmas to look forward to..but what a to do with it all it’s been..it’s their fault they lost it in the first place
    I think it’s going to get hot here too next week they are saying not as hot as with you tho about 87 I think
    Yes doing stuff does keep the mind off the pain till you stop then wack…
    Yea the plumber won’t charge me again ,he’s had to come back to straighten a radiator he put in and didn’t charge .i think it needs more sealant around the join..that windy stuff they put on
    Chris

  17. Dear friends, Got a call day before yesterday from my niece in CA and my sister, Billie, is in very bad shape. She has so much pain in her back and other areas, is pretty confined to a wheelchair now, is confused and her weight has fallen to 76 pounds. The family called in hospice to care for her in their home. Neither she nor her DH would consider a convalescent home. She’s been failing for a number of years but this is the worst. Prayers for her and family please and for me because I am so upset I can’t travel down there to tell her goodbye. She is the last of my nuclear family and for many now, I have been the only left to tell the kids about the family history, stories, etc. They are having a rough time down there and my heart aches for her and for her very sweet man of many years. Twp adult kids live nearby and are doing all they can. It’s frustrating her so much she can’t get out into her large, gorgeous garden anymore. The grandkids are weeding it for her. I haven’t seen either of them in 9 years. I talk to them often, as does Jim, and talked to her today but hearing is a problem but we got in a few memories. I hate this. I think there ought to be a button to push when we are finished in this life, don’t you? All this misery and suffering stinks. She keeps asking me when I’m coming down there and that’s so hard to explain because she doesn’t remember why I can’t travel. I’m so tempted to take on that two day trip with Jim but he says “No.” I know he’s right and I would regret it but this is also hard in a different way. Love to each of you and prayers needed, Sue

    • Oh dear Sue
      Of course we will be praying for you. I know how badly you want to see her and be with her. I cannot imagine. But, do know, Jim is right. You shouldn’t travel. It hurts you so bad for 2 hours. I am glad she is staying at home, I think that is important, don’t you ?
      God be with you and comfort you in this time of need for you and your family. And hers. I am here if you need me.
      Love you
      Tonie

    • So sad news sue
      Hard for you to stay put when instinct is to go
      But Jim is right
      Thinking of you and all the family ,it’s sad times ,but close ties are there and that is comfort even if far away

      The plumber came and all is fixed
      Lawn man came too
      Bought a mirror which dh put up
      And done some washing
      So been busy and looking forward to dd coming Sunday
      My diver is a bit picky again…I realised a milk shake I had and it’s icecream in it there were sweeteners ….didn’t think….I look at all when I buy but didn’t think then at the tearoom
      Gives good weather here for a while hope not to hot
      Chris

      • Chris, so pleased to hear all is working, shall we say, moderately well in your household. It is always something it seems. Our homes like us, seem to always be falling apart. Happy day for you with your DD. It is always fun to see our offspring..almost always.
        Yes, we, those of us with sensitive guts have to watch that ice cream. So much of the ice cream we get in places like Foster’s Freeze, Dairy Queen, McDonald’s, etc. is not real ice cream, but is a cheap substitute, filled with additives and artificial ingredients. One can always spot it, by it’s consistency and the way it melts. Real frozen cream, sugar and vanilla with some fruit or chocolate in it is okay. It’s impossible to ask at a restaurant but if it comes out of a machine spout, the chances are it’s not real. Scoops are usually real. Did you ever think about getting one of those little homemade ice cream machines. I have one and they make a small amount of any flavor you choose and work great. Some you plug in to freeze, others you freeze the drum before you put the ingredients into it. I am just saying that because I know you like ice cream so much.
        I spoke on the phone with my sister day before yesterday and she was very confused with moments of lucidity. I don’t see how she can hang on being so thin. Her daughter told me a few day’s ago she looks like an Auschwitz survivor. Yes, my heart is breaking for her and my brother in law who is a wonderful guy. Prayers appreciated for them. Love you, Sue

  18. HEllo my friends
    Chris, glad you got all your things sorted out and are on the road back to “normal” (heard that all my life, really, what is NORMAL ?, good idea for a blog, Sue)
    I guess Lyn is enjoying her vacay right now. Envious me. I need a week at the beach, with horses of course.
    News from B. Had a call yesterday. He has a lawyer looking into all. Says with all his official papers he can get into the US on them. He has a number for his issued card, which when they type it in the system, will show it is valid. So he is going to give them a few more weeks, and then book his flight. Into Charlotte for going through customs, that way he will have a couple hours he can give them to admit him if necessary, then on the Roanoke. Even the guy at Immigrations told him that he couldn’t give him anything to get him in, because he already had it !
    No foal, another day. Today it is cooler and looking like rain. We had showers and storms all yesterday afternoon. I read a book ! RIght now my Roomba is hard at work cleaning for me while I laze over breakfast.
    Have a wonderful weekend all of you
    Tonie

    • Tonie dear girl, The news regarding B coming home sounds so good. Let’s all hope and pray. Maybe Sweety just keeps waiting for her Daddy. His lawyer makes a lot of sense for B and it sounds very, very hopeful.
      Cool and cloudy morning here with a dash of rain last night. George and I did a bit of gardening, me with large hat and long sleeves. George barked at any bike or motorcycle that went by so glad we live in a fairly quiet area. Yard guy coming on Monday to move a huge fern and plant it elsewhere by the porch to make room for new lamppost going up next week…actually, cement base on Thurs. then next Monday after it is settled, post and light up. He’s going to put a light sensor on it so it goes on after dark. Will look great…I hope. Late and my eyes are tired. Good day, fairly productive here. Love you, new blog tomorrow, Sue

  19. That is good news about B Tonie,might not be long now
    Sue it’ll be good to see the lamp up,worth all the moving about too
    Good day out with DD she got a few things in the sale and we had coffee and she had a cake
    Lovely day here and it looks good to sit out this evening
    Chris

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